Louisiana is the latest Ground Zero for christofacist fuckery

the zealots are just getting started

the christofascists — those god-bothering zealots hell-bent on turning America into a Handmaid’s Tale theocracy — are up to their fuckery again.

Louisiana Requires All Public Classrooms to Display Ten Commandments

Gov. Jeff Landry signed legislation on Wednesday requiring the display of the Ten Commandments in every public classroom in Louisiana, making the state the only one with such a mandate and reigniting the debate over how porous the boundary between church and state should be.

check out Jeff Landry, the smug governor of Louisiana, as he signs the bill — because we’re going to have to make up a whole new commandment just for him.

thou shalt not sit there like a useless sack of shit as the child you’re using as a prop faints and falls to the ground behind you.

this poor kid was probably hungry — because it turns out that Landry is one of the 15 Republican governors who earlier this year rejected $2.5 billion in federal aid for low-income families.

The Summer Electronic Benefits Transfer, or Summer EBT program, offers each child of an eligible family $40 per month, accessible via an EBT card, which can be used at grocery stores that accept Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program benefits.

In a stunning move, 15 governors have said they will reject those funds. That’s not a typo: These state leaders will turn down resources that can help alleviate child hunger in their very own communities.

thou shalt not refuse to help the needy because you’d rather participate in a cruel political stunt.

after the law was signed, the stupidest dumbfucks in America rushed to find the nearest camera to stand in front of so they could shit out their useless hot takes.

“I don’t think that it’s bad to have something that says honor your father and mother so that you will live a long life. I think that is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it. I don’t think that it’s bad to teach children that adultery is something that you should not do. and also listed in the ten commandments, thou shalt not steal, and maybe the left and some of these are having a meltdown over having that right there listed in our classrooms, thou shalt not steal, is because government hates competition and they don’t want our children to realize that’s something you shouldn’t be doing.”

shut the fuck up, Handy Oakley. I just got off the phone with god, and she told me she made up a new commandment just for you.

thou shalt not play lap hockey in a crowded theater.

oh, and she wrote one for your husband, too.

thou shalt not expose your junk to a bunch of teenage girls in a bowling alley.

oh my god, Handy Oakley is so fucking stupid — listen to her self-satisfied laugh as she spews the insipid line about government hating competition, like it’s the funniest thing anyone’s ever said.

also, what the fuck is Handy talking about when she says “honor your father and mother so that you will live a long life. I think that is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it.” I had to go look it up, because I don’t remember any nonsense about living a long life — because there isn’t. it’s “honor thy father and thy mother” and that’s it. was Handy home-schooled? is that the problem?

I swear, these people make me want to drink paint thinner straight from the can.

and of course the biggest attention hog in the multiverse couldn’t keep his fool mouth shut.

“who likes the ten commandments, by the way, going up in the schools? they think it’s such a bad thing. I said has anyone read the … thou shalt not steal, thou shalt— has anybody read this … incredible stuff, just incredible, they don’t want it to go up.”

hey fuckface, do we need to clarify just what some of these commandments mean? do we need to write sub-commandments just for you?

thou shalt not steal … from a charity for cancer-stricken children.
thou shalt not steal … from the contractors you refuse to pay.
thou shalt not steal … from the students at your scam university.

in fact, is there a commandment that Donny Convict hasn’t broken? ok, maybe the one about thou shalt not kill — but considering Donny’s fucked-up response to the covid pandemic, that one’s out the window, too.

remember Roy Moore? twenty-three years ago, he was named Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. the very first thing he did was have a two-and-a-half ton monument bearing the Ten Commandments installed in the rotunda of the State Judicial Building. the ACLU took him to court to have the monument removed, and won.

Moore was later removed from office for judicial misconduct, because of course he was. he then ran for Senator, and that’s when we all found out about his fondness for hanging out at the local mall and hitting on teenagers.

thou shalt not perv on 16-year-old girls, what the fuck is wrong with thee?

hypocrites, the whole fucking lot of them.

there’s a lie that the chrstofascists keep pushing as their rationale for shoving their zealotry in our faces: “the ten commandments are the basis for all US law.”

you hear this over and over, and it’s bullshit.

as Thom Hartmann points out in his Friday post, only two of the commandments have anything that aligns with with US law: don’t steal, and don’t kill — that’s it.

Our laws don’t, as do the Ten Commandments:

— Specify a single god who must be worshiped,
— Demand a ban on graven images (statues, crucifixes, and pictures of deities),
— Require us to take a Sabbath day off work every week or be put to death,
— Mandate that children “honor” their parents or be stoned to death,
— Make it illegal for men to “covet” other men’s wives or sleep with unmarried women,
— Or criminalize telling a lie except under oath (in fact, corporations have recently asserted the explicit “right to lie” under the First Amendment, and Trump averaged a lie every 3 minutes in his last speech).

you’ll note that when christofascists like Handy Oakley and Donny Convict extol the virtues of putting the ten commandments in schools, they pretty much only mention thou shalt not steal. they don’t want to remind everybody that over half of the commandments talk about the establishment of a religion.

check out the first two commandments: I am the Lord thy God and Thou shalt have no other gods before me — our founders were horrified by this shit, and that’s why they put a stop to it in the very first clause of the First Amendment.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.

putting up a display that says thou shalt have no other gods before me in a government-funded school is blatant violation of the First Amendment — which is why civil liberties group have already filed suit.

Four civil liberties groups will sue the state of Louisiana after Republican Gov. Jeff Landry signed a law Wednesday that calls for the Ten Commandments to be displayed in school classrooms. The new rule applies to any school that accepts state money, including colleges and universities.

The American Civil Liberties Union, its Louisiana chapter, Americans United for Separation of Church and State and the Freedom from Religion Foundation announced they intend to file a lawsuit to block enforcement of House Bill 71. The measure, authored by Rep. Dodie Horton, R-Haughton, requires the Ten Commandments be displayed in each classroom. The poster or framed document dimensions must be at least 11 inches by 14 inches.

here’s where the christofascist fuckery kicks in — because lawsuits are exactly what the god-botherers wanted. they can’t wait for this thing to go all the way to the Supreme Court — and for Heaven-Appealin’ Sammy and Aunt Lydia Barrett and all the other bought-and-paid-for Federalist Society hacks to get their hands on this case.

the christofascists will high-five each other as all the “originalists” on the Court — the fuckbags who insist on a quote-unquote “strict reading of the Constitution” — twist themselves into rhetorical pretzels in order to rationalize why Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion doesn’t actually mean Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.

and make no mistake, the christofascists are just getting warmed up.

Supporters of the Louisiana law now hope that other states will follow its example.

Ms. Horton, a Republican, is a member of the National Association of Christian Lawmakers, a group formed in 2020 to advance explicitly Christian values and legislation among elected officials. The group is working to adopt her bill as one of its pieces of model legislation, so that members in other states can push through similar laws.

how long before one of these god-mad dipshits introduces a prayer in school bill?

just add it to the ever-growing christofascist shopping list, along with a national abortion ban, the outlawing of birth control, the end of divorce, and on and on — coming to a Project 2025 near you, should Donny Convict realize his dream of becoming King Fuckface the First.

it’s just another one of the ten thousand reasons to keep this willing tool of the christofascists from ever holding office again.

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hey, Donny held a hate-rally last night in a half-filled auditorium in Philadelphia, and one of his worshipers held up this sign:

I’m going to go out on a limb here and postulate that it’s not Joe Biden’s fault that this clueless loser is an unfuckable incel.