Lord Fuckwit’s 100th day just as batshit as the previous 99
America staggers as Mad King turns the crazy up to eleven
yesterday was the hundredth day of Mad King Donny’s second reign.
big fucking deal.
why all the fuss? it was a day no different from any other. Donny continues to grab the world’s economy by the haunches and give it a vigorous clownfucking. Putin continues to laugh his ass off. China continues to eat Donny’s lunch. those rat-bastards up in Canada continue to refuse to be our hat.
Donny’s hundredth began as any other: with the Ritual Praising of Dear Leader’s Superhuman Accomplishments.
Ainsley Earhardt: “I watched the press conference yesterday when the Phillies and the Eagles were at the White House, and he is so good at communicating. it’s such a gift, because if we had to do that, I don’t know enough about football. I would be a nervous wreck, but he knows about every sport. he knows about trade. he knows about the border. he’s so equipped for this job, and I think he’s having more fun, he even said that in an interview. I watched that press conference, and I thought ‘he is gifted.’”
this is the stuff of legend. it’s right up there with North Korean state media breathlessly reporting that ‘Kim Jong-il shot 11 holes-in-one in the VERY FIRST golf round of his life.’
hey, did you know that Chairman Mao swam the length of the Yangtze River? I know it’s true, because the Chinese Communist Party told me so.
but please, yes, do tell me more about how the imbecile who believes magnets stop working when they get wet, and that there’s one huge fucking faucet in Canada that controls all of California’s water supply knows everything about everything. that’s such a good story.
now let’s move onto the Blithering Of The Lickspittle Toadies.
here’s Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick — the psychopath who believes that if your granny doesn’t get her Social Security check, she should just shut the fuck about it — spinning his vision of a glorious future where you and I will be toiling in sweatshops while Howie wanders around his 32-room mansion, wondering what to order his chef to make him for dinner.
“it’s time to train people not to do the jobs of the past, but to do the great jobs of the future. this is the new model where you work in these kinds of plants for the rest of your life, and your kids work here and your grandkids work here.”
on what planet is ‘screwing in millions of screws’ — to use Lutnick’s own words — in an iPhone factory a ‘great job of the future’? it sounds like a fucking nightmare to me.
have you noticed that they’re not even bothering to sell us on the fairy tale of the American Dream any more. remember that old fantasy about how your kids will be better off than you, and their kids will be better of than them? no, fuck that. that’s not how we’re going to play it any more. welcome to Permanent Serfdom, where you and your kids — and your grandkids — will all be cooped up for life in the same dingy factory. keep screwing those screws, Jack.
which, by the way, is not any sort of ‘new model,’ despite what Granny-Starvin’ Howard claims. it’s the way America worked all through the Industrial Age. you had the ‘company town,’ where the factory and the shops and the housing were all owned by the same business. you either worked for The Man, on their terms, or you starved.
you think that’s bad? just wait, it gets worse: some Company Towns didn’t even pay their workers in actual dollars. they doled out ‘scrip’ — fake money that was accepted only at the company store.
this is the bright ‘future’ that our oligarch overlords want to drag us back to. you’re welcome, peons.
in fact, the Space Nazi is already hard at work turning parts of Texas into Elonville.
yeah, right. if there’s one person on this planet I trust less to care about the well-being of workers, it’s the guy who builds cars that randomly crash and explode into flames.
as for Donny, he spent the day pinballing between praising himself for being amazing, and whining about never being treated fairly.
check out United States President Full J. Diaperload melting down over being fact-checked by ABC News’ Terry Moran.
Donny: “he said he wasn’t a member of a gang, and then you look on his knuckles, they said ‘MS-13’ — wait a minute — he had ‘MS-13’ on his knuckles.”
Terry Moran: “he didn’t have the letters MS-13.”
Donny: “it says MS-13”
Moran: “that was photoshopped. so let me—”
Donny: “that was photoshopped? you can’t do that. I’ve given you the big break of a lifetime. you’re doing the interview. I picked you because frankly, I’d never heard of you, but that’s okay. but you’re not being very nice.”
shut the fuck up, you whiny crybaby.
that’s a stunning admission, “I picked you because frankly, I'd never heard of you.” who does that? Donny, apparently.
how is ‘I don’t know who you are’ criteria for choosing anyone to do anything? though if you think about it, that is how we ended up with Donny’s entire cabinet of sewer clowns. ‘I’d never heard of you’ is how we got an ahem alleged piss-drunk SecDef texting war plans to a reporter.
but let’s focus on what’s important about this exchange: it illustrates what a dangerously gullible simpleton our president is.
what Moran and Donny are disagreeing over is a photograph of Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s fingers, on which are tattooed a marijuana leaf, a smile, a cross and a skull.
some random dildo on the internet, as a way of “proving” that these are gang tattoos, photoshopped the letters M S 1 3 onto the image.
here’s the part that will make you want to guzzle paint thinner: Donny believes that those ineptly-photoshopped letters are part of the actual tattoos on Garcia’s hand. that’s Donny’s “proof” that Garcia deserved to be kidnapped and disappeared without trial into a Salvadoran slave-labor gulag.
Donny’s convinced those letters are real, and can’t be talked out of it — because he’s an easily-fucking-duped moron.
this is our president. this is a man in command of a nuclear arsenal. this is the dolt who Fox News insists is ‘gifted’ — and he can’t tell childish make-believe from reality. he’s making decisions that affect the entire world, and his deteriorating brain is unable to process basic information.
it would all be hilarious, if it weren’t so terrifying.
hey, did you know that the White House is now giving press conferences where the traditional media is excluded and only so-called “MAGA influencers” are invited? they held one yesterday. Karoline Leavitt spent her hundredth day getting her ass kissed by weirdos.
“…based on the first hundred days is that the White House is crawling with kids. you have a young, beautiful baby boy. there are babies everywhere. there’s so many young folks on staff who have kids. but the last four years under Joe Biden, parents were really stressed and ravaged and had to take on two or three extra jobs. depression rates were up, suicide rates were up. you’re a very high-profile young mother who seems to juggle and balance it all beautifully. what advice do you have young parents out there who are starting their careers?”
wow, that’s some hard-hitting journamolism going on right there.
I have no idea who these “influencers” are, and I have no idea who the dweeb talking is — but I do think it’s interesting that one of the kids from the Village of the Damned grew up to be a cultist.
and now I present to you the day’s Moment of Peak Batshit.
reporter: “who do you want to be the next Pope?”
Donny: “I’d like to be Pope. that’d be my number one choice.”
this is yet another one of those moments where every sane person rolled their eyes and mimed jerkoff motions, because what in the actual fuck?
Lindsey Graham didn’t roll his eyes, however. what Lindsey did was to spontaneously orgasm.
“I was excited to hear that President Trump is open to the idea of being the next Pope. This would truly be a dark horse candidate, but I would ask the papal conclave and Catholic faithful to keep an open mind about this possibility! The first Pope-U.S. President combination has many upsides. Watching for white smoke…. Trump MMXXVIII!”
all hail Pope Fuckface the First!
beat that, Kim Jong-il, and your eleven stupid holes-in-one. you too, Mao, you river-swimming commie.
as for me, I’m just impressed that Old Lindz was able to type out that tweet while his entire head was lodged up Dear Leader’s ass.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
I'm a queer Jewish woman and I'd be a better Pope than Trump.
If there is an afterlife, I hope there is a very special room that holds all of these pathetic, sycophantic bootlickers. I hope the room is dark, very hot, serves only day-old McDonald's meals that they have to fight for, and blasts YMCA full tilt 24/7.