liars, thieves and winos: your Sunday Sewer Clown roundup

let's debunk their bullshit

Donny’s Confederacy of Sewer Clowns — the loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires and ahem alleged blackout-drunk sexual predators who Donny tapped to be his advisors, diplomats and Cabinet secretaries — made the rounds yesterday, oh fucking boy, did they sewerclown the shit out of the Sunday shows.

let’s survey the damage.

on Friday, Piss-Drunk Pete Hegseth fired a bunch of top military brass and replaced them with unqualified loyalists. that’s troubling as fuck — but even more worrisome was Pete’s shitcanning of top military lawyers. firing military lawyers is extremely problematical, because — well, let’s let Fox New’s Shannon Bream lay it out.

Bream: “for people who may not know, they give advice to the military about what is lawful and what isn’t. not surprisingly, there’s been some backlash, from those who are worried about their removal. one Georgetown law professor says, ‘Trump also firing the Army, Navy and Air Force JAGs. in some ways that’s even more chilling then firing the four stars. it’s what you do when you’re planning to break the law: you get rid of any lawyers who might slow you down.’”

Hegseth: “ultimately we want lawyers who give sound, constitutional advice, and don’t exist to attempt to be roadblocks to anything that happens.”

Bream gives Hegseth every opportunity to bullshit his way out of it, and Pete just goes right ahead and says the quiet part out loud: lawyers shouldn’t be ‘roadblocks to anything that happens’ — which is christofascist shitweaselspeak for ‘we’re definitely going to be doing a lot of illegal shit, and the last thing we need is some lawyer telling us we can’t.’

fuck every Republican who voted to confirm this unhinged zealot. when shit goes sideways, and human rights end up on the wrong end of a firing squad, these fuckface Senators are never going to be able to wash the bloodstains off their hands.

now here’s Utah Senator John Curtis to explain that the fired generals got what was coming to them, because — what the fuck, is daddy home again?

Senator John Curtis: “I think we have to stop and look what happened really last November. one of my colleagues described it this way: it was a ‘stop the car moment.’ those of us who have had young kids and been on family vacations know what a ‘stop the car moment’ is, it’s a ‘kids, you’re so disruptive we’re stopping the car.’ and I think in many ways, the American people said ‘stop the car.’”

holy shit, now there’s an entry in the Bad Analogy Hall of Fame. four-star generals are not misbehaving children who needed punishment meted out. what an insult to the men and women who have devoted their lives to defending our country.

by the way, here are the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

can you guess which two got fired? of course you can. pro tip: misbehaving had nothing to do with it. apparently, Generalling While Black and Admiralling While Female are now crimes in this country.

for fuck’s sake, can Republicans please stop drooling over the idea that Donny is America’s daddy, and here comes everyone’s well-deserved spanking? maybe work out your abusive childhood issues with a good therapist. Donny is not America’s daddy. if anything, he’s America’s doddering demented grandfather, wandering dazedly in his bathrobe and yelling at clouds.

wars, how do they start? no one in Donny’s administration seems to have any clue.

today marks the third anniversary of Russian troops and tanks crossing the border into Ukraine — an event which Ukrainians apparently brought on themselves by dressing provocatively and being out alone late at night.

Steve Witkoff: “the war didn’t need to happen. it was provoked.”

listen to Witkoff dutifully mouth Putin’s own talking points. we didn’t start the war. it was Ukraine’s fault. we were minding our own business, and they provoked us.

for fuck’s sake, Ukraine provoked Russia by putting their country right on top of land that Putin believes is rightfully his. that’s the beginning and end of the story.

Witkoff, a billionaire real estate investor with no foreign policy experience, didn’t get to be a Sewer Clown because he was a truth-teller. Witkoff got his job because he could stare straight into a camera and go look, shit happens. let’s not bicker over who provoked who.

now get a load of what happens when you put a vulture capitalist in charge of diplomacy.

Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent: “…a partnership between Ukraine and the US that involves strategic minerals, energy and state-owned enterprises, where we set up a partnership, and we are only looking forward. it is a win-win, President Trump created this idea himself. it is a win-win, we make money if the Ukranian people make money.”

Scott Bessent is not a diplomat. he’s another billionaire Sewer Clown — a hedge fund manager. he’s an expert in taking over a business, loading it up with debt, selling everything of value, and walking away with millions of dollars when the company folds. to hear this great humanitarian tell it, the US just wants to help Ukraine. it’s a win-win for everybody! Bessent says it twice, so it must be true, right?

no, it’s a smash-and-grab operation. it’s a one-way extraction of resources. as we discussed the other day,

The terms of the contract that landed at Volodymyr Zelensky’s office a week ago amount to the US economic colonization of Ukraine, in legal perpetuity. It implies a burden of reparations that cannot possibly be achieved. The document has caused consternation and panic in Kyiv.

The US will take 50 percent of recurring revenues received by Ukraine from extraction of resources, and 50 percent of the financial value of “all new licenses issued to third parties” for the future monetization of resources. There will be “a lien on such revenues” in favor of the US. “That clause means ‘pay us first, and then feed your children’,” said one source close to the negotiations.

I likened it to when the mob takes over a restaurant. oh sure, Ukraine and the US will be “equal partners” — except for the part where the US is in complete control and gets its cut first, no exceptions. fuck you, pay me.

check this out. here’s Russian State TV praising to high heaven Donny’s betrayal of Ukraine.

“when Trump is answering questions about the press conference, I think it is not a coincidence that many of the narratives that are being voiced largely, materialized after [Putin and Trump’s] conversation. the phrases [Trump] is saying are so deep and so correct, they are in total alignment with the way we see things.”

“not a coincidence” — no fucking shit, Sherlock.

Germany held their elections yesterday, and good news: the neo-Nazi AfD party — endorsed by Donny, Couchfuck McGee and the Space Nazi — lost.

Friedrich Merz will be Germany’s new Chancellor. here’s what he had to say about America’s pro-fascist meddling.

“The interference in the German elections by Elon Musk and Trump’s Washington was no less radical and outrageous than that of Moscow. For me, the absolute priority will be to strengthen Europe as quickly as possible so that, step by step, we can really achieve independence from the United States.”

heck of a job, Donny. in thirty days, America has gone from being Europe’s ally to being their adversary. 80 years of postwar alliances right out the fucking window. Putin is laughing his ass off.

but look at Donny. the delusional dotard is trying to pass it off as a win.

translation: I meant to do that.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.