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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in News That Broke While I Was Writing This Post: parking garage lawyer Alina Habba was ruled to have been illegally appointed US Attorney

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Kay-El's avatar

She shouldn’t even be allowed to represent parking garages :D

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

She could do a toothpaste commercial! Next?

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I have silly question. Will anything actually be done about that?

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Punkette's avatar

Since Habba was illegally appointed, I wonder if the cases she prosecuted will be thrown out?

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Maui Wahine's avatar

It creates a chaotic situation that has actual, real dollar costs to taxpayers. Letʻs not forget that all of this bullshit is being paid for by us.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I thought they were and so was she! We need more info Jeff just shared a headline, will there be a congressional hearing if so OH BOY!

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James Starr's avatar

yep that is a silly question in "this day and age"....but on a bright note, I think something will be done about her and the rest of these traitors during future administrations, if we live that long to see it

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

No because she's special and has blond hair.

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

With Alina’s diamond “the size of a Ritz cracker,” as E. Jean says of her.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

That's just fun fake news!

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Ruth Ann Orlansky's avatar

Hopefully, we can finally hop off this merry-go-round with illegal U.S. Attorney appointments. This was a 3-0 Federal Appeals Court decision. What's great about it is that it sets a precedent for all the other illegal U.S. Attorney appointment hearings making their way through the system. Halligan will be out, the person in Nevada will be out, etc. Unless the Regime attempts another crooked scheme. Stay tuned.

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Balayage before Rocket Docket, pouted Lindsay H-a-double-L-I-G-A-N spells Halligan.

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Ingrid Robertshaw's avatar

That seems to be the going thing! Just as long as they are loyal,good asskissers ,corrupt,dumb as a rock ...they are in! Habba was the one who signed off the paperwork when the FBI searched MAR A LAGO & took his stash of classified docs. Problem is..she lied ..saying there are no other boxes. Knowing that NAUTA had moved more soemewhere else..

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Roberta Kaplan’s deposition of Donald before the E. J. trials remain comedy gold. As he lost both appeals, the ladies have triumphed four times!

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Walt *NAUTA BRAIN IN THAT LITTLE DIET-COKE FETCHING CHIMP’S HEAD* 🤡

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🌷IntheHalloftheMtnKing's avatar

Maga women--wake up! You're actually not in the I-can-do-whatever-I-want club

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

“Prolapsed” is a perfect word to describe any part of what soon will occupy that Cheung-sized ⚰️coffin.

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Carol C's avatar

The photo of Trump asleep in the dining room with guys looking in the window at him, the one Jeff showed Sunday, I saw in just one other substack. Has anyone seen it in other places?

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Kim Steeves's avatar

No, and I can not seem to access it, would love to see it!

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SethTriggs's avatar

Hopefully this means that Rep. McIver's fakakta indictment is also going down the drain.

Unfortunately this also means probably that the scarification attack hoax lady's indictment is gone too.

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Susan Bauer's avatar

Speaking of dips— how did we in MO end up with warmonger Eric Schmidt and running Josh Hawley

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Robin D's avatar

🙏🤗

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SeekingReason's avatar

Sent me into a shocked stupor! 😁

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Sally Cruikshank's avatar

hahaha thought of you right away!

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I've had an MRI. there's no fucking way anyone could have one without knowing what was being examined

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Polly Sears's avatar

I have had quite a few MRIs for my MS- you definitely know what is being imaged.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Polly, I also have regular MRI's for a chronic health issue. Aren't they fun? You're put inside a claustrophobic tube where loud banging on metal pounds and bright lights roam over your body, the hard tray you're lying on judders while you are commanded to hold perfectly still - loudly, on speakers set to 11 so you can hear over the banging, until finally (for me, the average time is 25 minutes because they look at every inch of my spine and skull) it's over, and the tray slides out again.

My question is: after being through many MRI's, in many different hospitals and clinics, ALL of which were barely wide enough for me - How the Hell did they fit tRump in one???

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Double wide! 😂🤣😂

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Ole Anderson's avatar

They do have extra large mri machines, even one that you sit upright in.

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Theresa Breach's avatar

Locally, and this is in the UK, very large patients sometimes have MRIs done at the zoo - they have an extra-large scanner for camels, hippos and the like. I imagine DJT could be squeezed in

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rlritt's avatar

Hysterical!!

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Joyce's avatar

And he'd be able to identify the animals, too! He can point to camels!

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I'm sorry MRIs are so hard on so many people. I nap through all of mine (bad back) with the aid of ear plugs and classical music. They roll me out and I say, "Already?"

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KJM531's avatar

All they needed to fit in there was his big pumpkin head……

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

A toilet plunger might work but it would have to be a really big one.

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

I had a series of MRIs this year, and the best advice I received to deal with the super loud clanging sounds was to imagine that you were in an East German nightclub in the 1990s. It actually helped!

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NOYB's avatar

Sure as hell do:. It's like my knee, back, shoulder, stomach hurts, my mammogram was equivocal, my spouse says my memory is going (chortle)...

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Donald Lipkis's avatar

In addition, no MRI is described as perfect like a test score. And just to be clear, if his MRI was as perfect as the phone call that got him impeached, that MRI showed some serious problems.

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Ann Gullberg's avatar

Indeed! MRIs are never done just for fun…

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Butch's avatar

I've had one and I'll never forget the experience.

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John Nerdrum's avatar

Its like being put headfirst in a 35 gallon barrel and having somebody going around the outside and banging on the sides with a hammer. Just my "been there" opinion!!

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NOYB's avatar

It's one of my sick traits:. I love MRIs. I find the percussion distracting and strangely soothing.

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

…unless one was comatose, so…?

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Oh he’s comatose alright but in his own way probably not what you were thinking.

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

You cannot know what I was thinking.

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Adults are expected to just hold still inside an MRI, but this weenie probably was sedated for everyone else’s comfort.

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SeekingReason's avatar

Lisa 🎯👍🏼

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Lisa, your right, is there various types of comatose? Please inform.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Well, I’ve ordered MRIs on demented patients looking for brain abnormalities and they can forget why they had them. Preznit Fuckwit is not a good enough actor to fake this in front of all the docs saying he appears to be in major cognitive decline…

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Ingrid Robertshaw's avatar

I have had 2 MRIs. on my knees..L& R. I knew it was my knees..Donny probably had a brain scan...and the damn Machine came up empty..hollow..that's why he won't remember.

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SethTriggs's avatar

Though the pricktator is also the first person I've ever heard of who doesn't understand how magnets work, so...

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Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I had one recently. I told them the noise it makes during the procedure sounded like the soundtrack to "Forbidden Planet."

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Paula Dean's avatar

They offered me music to listen to and I chose classical. The next time, I chose Led Zeppelin. I should have used earplugs! I love Zep, but the beats of the music didn't match the loud banging at all!

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

George Thoroughgood & the Destroyers goes with an MRI. “One Bourbon, One Scotch,” worked.

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

When he insisted that “nobody’s ever heard of magnets,” I learned that just as in my childhood, each Wooly Willy comes with his own magnet. I bought two original Willys for my grandchildren; now also available in handy pocket size!

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Cheri Collins's avatar

There is that! 😂🤣😂

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Carol C's avatar

Great one, Seth!

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Kevin Rice's avatar

I had a full body MRI to make sure a small bit of cancer I had hadn't spread elsewhere. (It hadn't.) It took a long time. They give you that panic button and everything in case you freak out in there. I never used it. I was slid out of that thing and they asked if I was okay. "It took a while, but I was fine. My only complaint is the music in there sucks." (If you've never had an MRI, imagine being in a dumpster that is closed, and someone is rhythmically hitting the outside of it with a hammer. It's loud as hell in that thing, even with the earplugs they provide.)

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Kathy's avatar

Perfect description.

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Nightmaher's avatar

I agree Kevin

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Permian Extinction's avatar

You can request no music.

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Kevin Rice's avatar

I didn't have music. I was talking about the incessant banging.

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Paula Dean's avatar

You described it perfectly!

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LINDA ADAMS's avatar

You give the man too much credit.

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

My two-year-old should have explained to the painted man that a “perfect MRI” is a nice clear one the doctor can read, to see if his brain “tuber” is growing faster than the rest of him. It’s not supposed to (and didn’t).

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Carol C's avatar

Leslie, I think your little one has a champion parent.

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Awww.🥰 TYSM. He was medically fragile until nineteen, and is now the most popular clam shack waiter in Key West. We won!

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Carol C's avatar

Wonderful! I enjoyed how he sedated the action figures, too.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Yep. Same here. I actually had a brain MRI recently. You would have to be under deep, complete anaesthesia to not notice which body part was being scanned. Sheesh! Mine was fine, BTW.

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Ellen H's avatar

But the fact it insists it wasn’t his brain proves without a doubt that it was his brain, since everything out of his mouth is a lie.

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Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

As a survivor of two brain aneurysm ruptures, I’ve had many MRIs. You definitely know what it’s for! And that jackhammer sound is impossible to forget. If you’re the least bit claustrophobic, the whole experience is frightening.

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Jeanne Leduc's avatar

It probably fell asleep...

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

But trump has a brain that processes reality and when it comes out his butt hole it's whatever suits him. Duh!

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rlritt's avatar

Right, they're usually very specific about that. But maybe, Trump forgot what they told him. Its sounds like he thinks they just wanted to see his remarkably perfect brain because he aced his cognitive test.

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Kay-El's avatar

1. : “I have no idea. it was just an MRI. what part of the body? it wasn’t the brain” If you don’t know what body part but can say it wasn’t the brain, then it was the brain. 🙄

2. We know Markwayne Mullet is lying because anybody who can bankrupt six casinos doesn’t know how to calculate.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Reminds me of the story someone said about their MAGA relative who, when asked why she hated Obama so much all she could manage was "well it wasn't cuz he's black!"

Narrator: it's defintely cuz he's black.

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Permian Extinction's avatar

Just give me the MRI of the unexpurgated Epstein Files

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P123Sunny's avatar

‘UN-Redacted-Gate’‼️

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George A. Polisner's avatar

Thank you Jeff.

Kegsbreath, Bondi, Noem, Trump, and Vance all belong in front of the International Court of Justice at The Hague for ordering and greenlighting of Human Rights abuses, the flaunting of International Law, the illegality of their actions and orders, and more. At present, aside from Putin and Netanyahu -they have declared all out war on democracy, justice, and equality.

Beyond being held criminally liable for their actions, their co-conspirators, accessories after the fact, and donor/supporters should be held to account through asset forfeiture. Just as some of Putin's oligarchs have had assets frozen and seized, so should those continuing to fund the Trump/Vance disorganized crime association.

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Polly Sears's avatar

I agree, but, unfortunately, we didn't sign up with some organization, and, thus- no Americans can be tried at the Hague- only US criminal court.

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George A. Polisner's avatar

True Polly -but no reason the next Administration is precluded from supporting the ICJ and the International Criminal Court -and there is no statute of limitations on war crimes.

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Stephen Schiff's avatar

I agree completely but don't see any way of it happening. The Democrats are just as vulnerable as the Republicans; for example drone strikes under Obama.

The main streams of both parties are solidly invested in American Exceptionalism

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mary's avatar

I'm not sure that's entirely correct. My reading is that although we don't "respect" the proceedings of the ICC Americans can still be prosecuted by that court. If found guilty those Americans will become "persona non grata" in the countries that respect that court's judgments. I don't remember the number but it's significant.

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Betsy L's avatar

I think there's a legal technicality where Dumpy et al can be tried by the ICJ, but not the ICC. I was reading about it over the weekend but I couldn't tell you where I saw it.

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rlritt's avatar

Absolutely. Every oligarch who has paid Trump a bribe. Both his sons and son in law, Miller, et al should be held accountable. Even Bezos who bought the Washington Post to promote Trump.

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George A. Polisner's avatar

They have certainly aided and abetted. In varied responsibility -they own this.

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Teresa G's avatar

Jeff

Even if the boats are carrying narcotics, still no reason to bomb them.

Never

That is murder.

You know l, seize the boats, the “narcotics”

Bombing is unacceptable

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

excellent point. sometimes I get so wrapped up in writing about the trees that I completely forget about the forest

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Irascible Ink's avatar

S'ok Uncle Jeff. Some days I feel like I'm sitting in the forest of talking trees and getting pelted with apples. Can't see neither the trees nor the forest. I just know I don't like little green worms.

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Betsy L's avatar

Love the Wizard of Oz movie reference! I'm reading the book to my 4 y/o granddaughter in it and constantly remembering differences between the two.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

I remember as a 4-5 yr old a picture book of the story that my cousin had, and thinking "That's not how the story goes! Who wrote this crap?" 😂

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

My keen eye focuses on what’s utterly beside the point, out of self-preservation.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

I feel pelted by walnuts.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Ouch! Even worse.

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

The Coast Guard has been searching for, and seizing, narcotics for years ~ without murdering anyone. Although now with Krusty at the helm, things could change.

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Mary Hall's avatar

My son is career USCG and in charge of security and weapons on his cutter. He has actually arrested drug smugglers and confiscated the evidence to be used in court. The usual protocol is to work with the smugglers to go further up the "food chain" to get info on the kingpin without acting like total murdering scofflaw amateur fkheads.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Performative murder is how this Administration rolls.

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Ingrid Robertshaw's avatar

Even if the boats were loaded up to the gills ,why not monitor and get them when they deliver..this thing better get the scrutiny it deserves

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Nice of Pissdrunk Pete to honor our brave fighting men who destroy questionable Narcoterrorists who may or may not have been carrying enough drugs, IN FISHING BOATS, to addict some "300 million" citizens from miles above. Sounds like a fair fight.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

But how can the piss-drunk Nazi tattoo mannequin play video games on the taxpayer’s dime??

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PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

So if they blow everything up, all the drugs end up in the ocean. Can’t be good for people or animals. None of this makes sense.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Nothing like frickin sharks with frickin Jewish laser beams on their heads high as fuck on frickin speedballs of coke and fentanyl!

🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

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Jan Moon's avatar

I guess if you bomb them to kingdom come you don't have enough leftover parts to identify the murder victims. How convenient. It seems to me that some effort should be made. Maybe I have slipped up on my intelligence gathering and there is ongoing ID happening. We're talking 40-plus (or is it 50-plus?) next-of-kin.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

No idea who he pardoned? No idea where the MRI was on his body? Stick a fork in him.. he’s done.. “Just like that old locomotive rolling on down the tracks.. he’s gone, gone and he’s never coming back” Thank you for your attention to Mr. Drool Bucket Man.

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P123Sunny's avatar

Yeah who will connect that last dot… smdh

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The timing of the mystery MRI coincided with the severe drooping of the right side of his face. Two dots connected for him!

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P123Sunny's avatar

I(still)OKIYAR

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

That Cheung-sized ⚰️ coffin’s all ready for the Bedminster back nine.

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NOYB's avatar

He'd never consent to being next to Ivana.

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Teri Springer's avatar

The annual Medicare physical includes the mini-cog test for everyone. Score is 0-3. If you score 3 you are UNLIKELY to have (currently) dementia. Anything less than 3 indicates likely dementia. Note: likely and unlikely. Neither result is definitive. A score of 2 or less means further testing is needed. The fact that Twit had an MRI after the mini-cog tells me SOMETHING in his annual physical was not good. Oh, retired RN here who was the clinic nurse for one of the first free-standing neuroimaging centers in the world.

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Susie's avatar

Thank you for those details. I prefer to be informed when I set out to mock someone mercilessly. 👏🏻🤣

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Anyone doubt that he was trying to help Bolsonaro escape custody? Or Bibi? Or Orban (if they ever get to hold free elections)?

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Any possibility that he'd enlist his crack(ed) legal team to help Bibi avoid indictment and (well-deserved) jail time? Halligan and Habba to the rescue!

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Nobody, in the history of MRIs has ever had one without knowing why—let alone which body part they’re scanning. They tell you when they prescribe it. They confirm it when you arrive for your appointment. They reconfirm before they roll you inside the tube. And then—and I know this is hard to believe—you actually receive the results of that scan. And the report contains actual details. Any radiologist that simply writes “perfect” is just dressed up as doctor for Halloween. So they need to release the fucking reports. Maybe in two weeks?

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The radiologist probably meant "We got a perfect MRI of your fucked up brain."

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Yes! The MRI was perfect. The brain, however, has turned into moldy cottage cheese.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I kind f remember a law that a doctor that knows of a condition the prez has is a danger to the country the dr is supposed to share the knowledge, anybody know about that?

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Every time I read another "two weeks" jab I hear it in the voice of the exploding head fat lady from Total Recall. 😂

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Norma's avatar

Or the contractors from Money Pit 😂

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Paula Dean's avatar

Or the clerk telling George Clooney's character in O Brother, Where Art Thou? that his Dapper Dan hair cream will take 2 weeks, along with another item he asked for, and George replies: well, ain't this place a geographical oddity - two weeks from anywhere!

Apparently, tRump also resides in a geographical oddity, perfect for a biological oddity.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

😂

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Susie's avatar

Excellent reference. I needed that smile! 🤣🤣🤣

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Irascible Ink's avatar

YES!! Another classic!

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I don’t know, but maybe we could ask Jake Tapper to look into that.

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RBS's avatar

Trump is a lame fuck.

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Alison Parker's avatar

"A Very Special Angel Of Death" snorted laughing at that one, thank you Jeff

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Kim Nesvig's avatar

Oh he knew who he was pardoning. Peter Theil told him who to pardon.

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CroneEver's avatar

Well, it could have been Junior - "But where else am I <sniff> gonna get my drugs, dad?

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Thiel would have had the pardon recipient’s c0cl< in his mouth

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DuduLovesBubu's avatar

Or Master Theil would command slave vance to swallow said appendage...to the root.

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Eric Smith's avatar

I presume to know what the MRI was for— they were looking to see Trump’s fecalith in the circle of Willis. This is a fancy pants “medicalese” to say “shithead”. Something you don’t need a MRI to know that Trump is one.

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Irascible Ink's avatar

😂😂

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Cheri Collins's avatar

“fecalith in the Circle of Willis” - cracked me up! Brilliant!

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Beth Bohon's avatar

I would LOVE to see the TACO in orange from head to foot and behind bars where he belongs. (Slight edit - I wouldn’t “love to see him”. I honestly cannot stand to look at him, but you get my drift!!)

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Tess's avatar

I’m with you Jeff-“arrest a certain president and put him in jail for the rest of his life.”….(by the looks of it-it shouldn’t be too long donny).

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