359 Comments
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Susan Niemann's avatar

I got nuthin’. Might be time for some self care here. I despise him with every fiber of my being.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

My self care includes a healthy dose of cannabis…daily.

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Wendy's avatar

You and me both, Walt.

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Lisa59's avatar

I make my own gummies with the help of my Magic Butter Machine (for making tincture). My nephew's roommates invented it. Just one of my gummies knocked out my friend's ex NFL husband. 🤣🤣 Friends have to divide one gummy in quarters. 🤭 They're awesome 👌. But really strong. I'm never not high. 😂 Life on life's terms.

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cablecargal's avatar

Wow, I knew I liked you. How inventive!

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Lisa59's avatar

Thanks, buddy!

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

Haven’t smoked weed since college. It’s WAY over time to start again. My mood has been beyond fucking miserable every time I read the next obscenity that the shit stain ( or Smuk ) comes up with. Probably Smuk while brainless plays golf , rearranges the White House and steals the Declaration of Independence. Someone needs to get them OUT of there, no matter how.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Damn Lisa - you are my hero in so many ways! 💙💙💙

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Lisa59's avatar

Hahaha 😘

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Lisa, I m very interested in this Magic Butter Machine. Are they produced for sales to others or are you hogging all the fine technology for yourself? 😊

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Found it! Ordered it! Thanks, Lisa. I can’t smoke anymore and need to find new ways of consumption. 🤓

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Lisa59's avatar

I can't smoke either. I bake 1 once of weed in the oven for 60 minutes at 250 degrees on a cookie sheet with foil. It really stinks up the house. Windows and a fan help. Only use Everclear 151 alcohol to make your tincture. Your tincture will never go bad. Bacteria and mold is an issue if you don't do it right. Order some gummy molds at least 5. When you're ready to make your jello gummies, let me know. I'll tell you how to do it.

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Lisa59's avatar

https://magicalbutter.com

Check it out.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Lisa, I don’t have a “Magic Butter Machine” just freshly harvested gold for hash oil, or 1k mg tinctures… ever made fused honey, used cinnamon moon?Must be a ‘Sota thing, me thinks!!

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Lisa59's avatar

No, it's sound great though. Hash oil, holy shit, that stuff puts me in a coma. Gold, huh?

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Sounds dangerous. Maybe dial the potency back in case they ever fall into smaller hands. Kids and candy

you know.

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David Skoglund's avatar

Let’s roll up a fatty Walt!

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

My guy!

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David Skoglund's avatar

Oregon?

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

You got it! Hiding out from the tyranny in the big trees. 🌲

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David Skoglund's avatar

Same

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Kaye Stone's avatar

I need to find a source... like now!

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Lisa59's avatar

Lazarus Naturals is an Oregon based company I've been using for many years for my CBD/THC oil. Very high quality. If one is disabled or can't afford the product, you can apply for a 60% discount. They ship to your home directly. It's a great company. All their products work well. I can't live without them. I went off all my medications years ago. These products have improved the quality of my life.

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Jan Moon's avatar

Lisa . . . Don't tell anyone but I just ordered some from Lazarus Naturals. I've got to start feeling better about all this: politics, death of sister, dismantlement of the government by two or three or four madmen, crappy winter, politics, nuclear threat, Social Security in the crosshairs, Ukraine on the precipice, Sudan on the precipice, Gaza on the precipice, politics, the antichrist cubed in the white house, the desecration of the oval office and the Bill of Rights, politics, etc., etc., ad nauseam. I think we all deserve a little relief. Pino Grigio just isn't cutting it at this point.

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Jan Moon's avatar

Sorry, Declaration of Independence. Well, you know what I mean. If he could he'd put the gold toilet in there. Oh God, don't give him any ideas.

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Lisa59's avatar

I feel your pain. With these products you will feel relief in about an hour. I actually have a brain inflammatory disease that causes seizures. And a shitload of other issues. However, I have everything managed because of these products. No prescriptions.

This shit is too much. Just too fucking much. If it wasn't for my weed products, I'd probably be in jail. Because I'll loose my fucking shit. Let me know how they work.

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Deb's avatar

Thank you, Lisa! I just found the website and started a Subscription on one item. I figure if it helps even a little, I'll try something else!

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Are you stuck in a red state, Kaye?

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Alice B Toklas's avatar

Kaye, my two favorite sources for hemp-based gummies and flowers are www.moonwlker.com and Urb…both of their products are legal in 40 states and give an excellent buzz.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Terribly sorry to hear about that Kaye…the challenges of finding a source, is mind numbing, considering the internet!!

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Veronica Speedwell's avatar

I was never interested in cannabis but now at 62 take a gummy several times a week for sleep. Thought I'd be retiring next month and my sleep/mental health would naturally improve, but with SS and the ACA in jeopardy, that ship sailed.

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monimuikko's avatar

I'm good with my bottle of grappa .

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Grappa!!! Oh I have stories about grappa! 🤣🤣

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

So, they actually make it from the stems, seeds and skins left over from the winemaking process…and it comes in at more than 30% alcohol. I think this is just good business. 😊

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Lisa59's avatar

I bet you do.🤣🥰

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Grappa? I am not knowing. Is it an alcoholic beverage?

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Whatever mind numbing methods you employ, is cool mono!!

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Voodoo Imperials here

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

That’s a new one by me, Richard. How’s it taste?

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

From Ft Collins, Colorado’s New Belgium Brewery, Voodoo Ranger Imperial IPA a very strong (9.5%) with a skeleton on it for obvious reasons. It’s basically an imperial, modeled on super strong Russian beers only with Belgian yeasts, but it doesn’t have that sweet texture like a Belgian triple. My wife and I bathe in it like a pair of seals, going arp arp arp and slapping our flippers. It’s popular in my ghetto* as malt liquors used to be, sold at fine liquor stores and skeevy holes in the walls alike. I have heard it derided as “knockout juice” but if anything can take the agony of Trumpian misrule away, it’s this violently strong yet balanced ale.

*Richmond, California. “If you ain’t from ‘The Rich’ you mus be a…citizen of El Cerrito or San Pablo! All are welcome here!”

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

You’re killing me man! 😂😂😂

I fell in love with the Belgian beers when working on a project in Brussels. Hoegaarden beer, mussels and fresh bread on a sidewalk cafe. That’s living!

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

Ditto, and bourbon….but I also exercise like a crazy person…ya know, you need balance! 🤣

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Same here. A good sweat in the gym is beautiful thing.

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David Skoglund's avatar

The best high there is, is cardio.

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Lisa59's avatar

Really? I feel like death sucking on a lifesaver. My kids got me a "Apre's" hat. Which means the party after skiing. That's me. 👍

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Jacqueline Klein's avatar

Until trump came along I wasn’t much of a pot smoker, mostly social. But since he came down the tacky brass escalator my consumption has gone up. Now that he’s in his 2nd term of playing king,I have gone into stoner territory. If I hear his voice or see his face, I immediately reach for the vape pen. Good thing I haven’t started tossing shots down my throat every time I hear his voice. I’d probably have died from alcohol poisoning weeks ago.

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Richard's avatar

Wake and bake

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Abigail Norling's avatar

Sadly it's bad for the grandmother heart :-(

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Karen Hall's avatar

Right there with you. 😱

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Wendy's avatar

you know he probably does his "self care" in a solid golden bathtub.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Eeeewwwww

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

and short fingered little mikey and lube.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Oh shit, M.T.! I'm eating lunch!

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Lisa59's avatar

That's a visual I don't need. 🫣😅

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Water and soaps can’t mask the stench of that malodorous codpiece Wendy!!

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Douglas's avatar

Nobody has a photo of THAT??!! 🤭

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Knowing that the Schummer endorsed CR allows Trump the power to create his own militia… think Eric Prince as head of Donnie’s newly created SS Susan!!

If one were to mention the other disturbing facts of Trumps reign of terror, Jeff refrained mentioning…

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Prince has been investing heavily in private prisons recently. Does he know something we don’t?

You can bet your sweet bippy he does!

A thoroughly despicable sort of fellow. Selling short on other peoples misery.

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Amalga's avatar

Didn’t he renounce his American citizenship and move to one of the Gulf Emirates to avoid taxes? Why is he allowed back in?

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Ole Anderson's avatar

I read that he was living in the ME but not that he was a tax evader. Does not surprise me. Wont surprise me when Lard Ass pardons him, either.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

No kids around Ole, besides my gummies of choice are usually of ghost pepper variety

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

We’re on the same page Ole, Henry( Enrique Tarrio)and Elmer( Stewart Rhodes)are likely looking for new gigs to hook up with, Prince’s coterie is more intelligent and violent!!

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Marla's avatar

I hate him like I've never hated anyone in my life. And I am ooooold. I hate him so much that I am diminshed by my hatred for him. It's not healthy.

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Amalga's avatar

I’m right there with you.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Considering the epoch, the nadir of my existence…hatred is perfectly understandable Marla!!

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Tess's avatar

Can’t stand him!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

A phrase anyone in his orbit utters daily Tess!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

I'm ready to pull the plug .

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

You mean Caligula's horse buttplug?

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Thanks for the visual M. T. K!!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’m shocked you haven’t Charles!!

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Me too

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Chet Brandt's avatar

I hate King Fuckface the First. Absolutely can’t stand his fucking image. Makes me want to puke. Fucking hate him.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

You are in very good company Chet. 👍🏻

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

I knew we were kindred spirits, Wendy. 😊

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Mwfeiger's avatar

So funny to read all the comments today. I was always the teen who broke the rules, but unlike those I was a 'bad' influence on, I never got caught. Now I represent those who have been 'caught'. But the MJ talk brings me way back to my bad 'ole' days.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Appears you weren’t “bad” enough Mw!!

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Linda Weide's avatar

I have a big YUCK! That self care idea is great Susan! I'm with you.

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Kay-El's avatar

The Orange Fuckwit is hoping the Declaration fades so much, he’ll get to Sharpie new words in.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

The authentic Declaration of Independence remains in the National Archives. We can all expect the Bloated Yam of Scam to begin asserting that the copy in his orifice is THE ORIGINAL. Then he will begin believing it himself and will hide it in his bathroom next to a picture of Walt Nauta.

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Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

That's what he did with some famous painting. I don't remember which one, but he told a reporter that a painting hanging in one of his houses or his boat was an original. The reporter said, uh, no, the original is in a museum, this is a reproduction. Donnie Fuckwit, of course, insisted it was an original. He's so fucking dumb. And I say that as someone who isn't exactly a rocket surgeon myself. (Yes, I know it's rocket scientist, but somebody once said rocket surgeon and I find it funny.)

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shee-rah's avatar

Maybe a rocket sturgeon?

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Kaye Stone's avatar

😅😂🐟

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arne link's avatar

OMG! That IS funny. I may steal that.

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Ann Linderman's avatar

As I recall, it was a Renoir.

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Teddy Gingerich's avatar

Does he even know who Renoir was? And I honestly can't picture him having something that lovely.

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

Obviously smuck didn’t pass the bar.

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David Skoglund's avatar

Good one!

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Cheryl from Maryland's avatar

It was a copy of a Renoir, and not after one of the artist’s better efforts.

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Kay-El's avatar

Shhhhh! Don’t tip him off.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Far as far as I know, that's correct thank God.

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Monado's avatar

I hope so! Otherwise the American people will never see it again.

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Ruth Ann Orlansky's avatar

According to a Meidas newsletter I get:

"… It has been confirmed that Trump does not have the original Declaration, and what he has displayed in the WH appears to be one of the 200 engraved copies produced in 1823 by William Stone. Please, nobody tell him that."

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PTW's avatar

This makes me feel a bit----just a tiny bit----better. Does not diminish my hatred for him, though.

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Ruth Ann Orlansky's avatar

Same here. He's such a jerk, though. Let him THINK he has the real thing. What's worse is that he really DOESN'T care what the Declaration says or what it stands for. He has never read it, and has never asked anyone else to read it to him. It's just all about POSSESSION of what he thinks is a VALUABLE object that he can show to people in order to demonstrate how IMPORTANT he is. He is pathologically insecure and he will never have enough "valuable" things.

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Teddy Gingerich's avatar

So he DOESN'T have the actual document? I genuinely do care about some things, like historic documents.

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Ruth Ann Orlansky's avatar

No, he does not. No way! I guess there were a lot of people who wanted the "original" way back in 1823. That's why the National Archives made all the copies.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Prediction: he will claim it is right that he put his sharpie signature on the document because he is the greatest president ever and he saved us from wokeness. His signature will blot out John Hancock's. The modern chemicals in the Sharpie will soon etch through the paper leaving a hole. Just as his actions have left a hole in the Constitution.

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drosophilist's avatar

“The biggest, bestest signature ever! Hancock used to have the biggest signature, but now strong men with tears in their eyes come up to me saying, Sir, Mr. President, you have the best beautiful signature ever!”

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arne link's avatar

Wait, you forgot to mention their bulging biceps. Get it right!

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Kaye Stone's avatar

How are your fruit flies? My son-in-law earned his PhD from Cornell and I was in Ithaca to be near my grandchildren, so I heard about drosophilist experiments!

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Jan Moon's avatar

Why in hell does he even care about having the Constitution in the Oval Office? He doesn't give two hoots in hell about it unless he just wants to use it a a urinal or wipe his feet on it. Oh, wait, he's been doing that since January.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

He only has the Declaration of Independence in his office right now. Don't let him know that there's a constitution also.

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Jan Moon's avatar

Oh shit. Maybe he is planning to send the Constitution to Putin as a late Valentine present. The guy is a supreme romantic.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

He likely will Kathleen, but everyone should realize, it’s a fugazi!!

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Douglas's avatar

Wait till he gets his hands on the original Constitution. Any rights will disappear ...'rights? What rights?? This nation was ALWAYS a dictatorship!!"

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Or steal it when his fat crooked ass is finally out of there which can't come soon enough.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Your a mind reader Kay-El !

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Gaahh, don’t even say (or write) that out loud! I’m not big on reverence for relics, but goddammit if anything is sacred in this country, it’s our original, founding documents. This abomination WILL NOT STAND, Man! Someone somewhere fix this immediately!

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Clint Opine's avatar

Has anyone seen it lately? Maybe it already has his scrawl writ across half its surface.

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Kay's avatar

That might keep him busy for a while and distract him from completely destroying what’s left of the country.

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Sharon Senkiew's avatar

I was thinking he’ll light it on fire while on Faux News some night.

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🌷IntheHalloftheMtnKing's avatar

😮‍💨

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

The gilded age of politics…led by the most gilded conman. He’s like the Wizard of Oz (sans panache) hiding behind his curtain. Pulling strings he doesn’t understand, hurting people he doesn’t know and busily destroying a democracy that took 250 years to build.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Those big gold-plated sneakers have to be on display in the Oval Orifice somewhere.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

I think the Chinese used the very same unrealistic gold paint Drumpf talked about when they made those puppies

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arne link's avatar

Probably laughing all the time.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’d imagine those spray painted kicks are perched in a display case with all the other dross he’s peddling Sharon!!

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Douglas's avatar

remember when he said last month he didn't want to become 'Hoover'? I think he cares not and is ruining economy deliberately....he'll be fine...who's gonna hold him to account? The Democrats wet dream...like an election?? 🤣....how quaint.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Talk about waste, fraud, and abuse. Incessant golf trips on the taxpayers' dime, now paving over the lawn. Fuuuuck. What up, DOGE doofuses?

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

It was probably trumps high heels that got stuck during one of his midnight walks in his white robe. Maybe it was Steven Miller's high heels that got stuck in the wet. Maybe it was all just a big WET dream....

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David Skoglund's avatar

No shit!

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David Skoglund's avatar

One good thing. Tesla is in free fall. Time for you to let out a big fucking sigh Leon.

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

"pride goeth before the fall" The problem is the late stage syphillus is taking too long.

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shee-rah's avatar

I think he was always bat-shit crazy.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Yep, trinkets. They're too tacky to even rise to the level of tchotchkes.

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Burke's avatar

Future historians will note that Donald has never read the Declaration of Independence and wouldn't comprehend it if he did.

"We hold these truths to be self evident. That all men are created equal." What exactly does that mean Donnie?

What a first class dumb shit.

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Dave Drell's avatar

“ Truths” and “created equal” create dissonance between his ears.

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Lucius's avatar

Every day I wake up hoping to read his obituary. Every disappointment in that regard is one more sin God has to account for.

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Lady Emsworth's avatar

Do you think he realises how many people on Earth wake up each morning with just one thought - "Is he dead?"

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Sooo good Lucius!!! I always say is he dead YET? 😆🤪😡🤓

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Mary Beth Gapinski's avatar

The first 10 seconds of my mornings are my best because that’s when my hope is the highest.

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insert_something_creative's avatar

Same, and this reminds me of an old Russian joke someone posted in the comments of one of the Substacks I read that roughly goes:

"A man walks up to a newsstand, buys the paper, looks at the front page briefly, then throws it away.

He keeps doing this day after day until finally the shopkeeper asks why he keeps buying the papers just to throw them away.

The man responds that he's looking at the obituaries, to which the shopkeeper says that those aren't on the front page of the paper.

The man says: "The one I'm looking for will be."

I think about this all the time now. I long for the day we finally see that fucker's obituary.

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Eileen's avatar

Oh yeah. Every single day I pray for that front page obituary: Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall. And landed on Elon Musk. All the king’s horses… released their butt plugs. Never was there such a pile of horse shit!💩

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Catherine's avatar

There are 4 obituaries I wish for, sometimes 6.

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Lucius's avatar

My list is quite a bit longer since it includes the fascist shit whistles that gave Donny immunity and…well, the entire Republican party.

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arne link's avatar

Dream big!

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Our lists could put Arya’s to shame.

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shee-rah's avatar

If he croaks, we’ll just be stuck with Justa Dick.

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KL Pierce's avatar

All of that “gold” is tacky and fake just like trump.

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Eva Porter's avatar

Even Laura sounds incredulous- you’re paving over the grass?

As for Elon…once seen, can’t unsee. Perfect.

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Douglas's avatar

D talks soothingly and affectionately to her as he would a daughter. And she is sooo admiring! 🤩

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elizabeth's avatar

First column of Jeff’s I read without a laugh, just too damn disgusted - until the Elon pic LOL 😂. Take care all

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Polly Sears's avatar

Happened to me a few posts ago.

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Lady Emsworth's avatar

Is that REALLY The Declaration? Because Donnie's not renowned for his reading skills. . . it could be the Cincinnati bus time table - and who would tell him?

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shee-rah's avatar

😆😆😆

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Wendy's avatar

Fucking hell. Donald trump and his gold obsessions I just do not fucking get. Why care so much about this? Is that why the fucker wants to go to fort knox so he can Jizz his man juice all over the gold there in? Remember the Gaza affair? https://thistleandmoss.com/p/trumps-gaza-golden-monuments-sitting

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Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

He thinks gold is "sophisticated". He doesn't realize it's an unsophisticated person's idea of sophistication.

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Robin Roth's avatar

He's probably already angling to get his golden calf statue embedded on his new patio, so all the guests will have to rub it for luck!

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

The next giant parade inflatable should be a huge golden calf with trump's head on it. THAT will make some RW religious nutjobs' heads to explode.

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Lisa59's avatar

He's a hero in his own syphilis baked brain. I don't except him to do anything different. He's behaving like a true malignant narcissistic psychopath. He can see his own reflection in his golden orbit. Works for him. 🥱

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

This is an excellent post, Wendy! Trump may end up like Auric Goldfinger -- "The weight of Goldfinger's gold causes the airplane to sink rapidly, taking his body and his pilots down with it." (That's after Bond, in a sudden fit of rage, strangles the fat gold-obsessed fuck with his bare hands.)

I wake up every morning and my heart feels like a brick. But it's not a gold brick. Cheers.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

The movie improved matters, sending Goldfinger through the window and giving Oddjob that high voltage send off

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kittyschmitty62's avatar

I remember being on the Atlantic City Boardwalk around 10 years ago, seeing the shuttered and peeling Taj Mahal. The phony minarets had vinyl parts flapping off them. It was so fake and tacky and awful. I know his befouling of the White House isn't his worst atrocity, but it's all so embarrassing.

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shee-rah's avatar

Tacky and fake—just like Dumbass.

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Jennifer's avatar

I know the remodeling/gold/pavement/moving-the-Declaration doesn't rank as high on the O Shit!-o-meter as his systematic dismantling of our democracy but still. It's another bunch of stark, tangible evidence of said dismantling. He's got nothing of value inside so he has to make up for it on the outside.

When Jeff wrote "psychiatrist," I actually felt sympathy for this fictional person. Can you imagine being tasked with fixing that guy? Nobel Peace Prize nominee right there. Alas, Dumpy doesn't want to peek inside his hollow, soulless emptiness, either so that will never happen but still. A gal can dream.

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Polly Sears's avatar

No fixing T. He is too far gone!

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Jennifer's avatar

Yep. It would be the most Herculean of tasks.

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Jayme Wolworth's avatar

He's so deranged that he doesn't know it's a fuckin copy, and Ingraham knows better but wouldn't dare to question his lies for fear of losing access to his bullshit. Lyin King Trump.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Laura Ingraham is a toxic venal kunt. So there, been waiting to say that forever.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

That hellcow repeated the “Canada will be the 51st state” shit

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shee-rah's avatar

It’s required for all Fox Not News hosts.

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Douglas's avatar

I'd bet he would tell a real journalist like....Mika!

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

There is no “fixing” him. That’d be like trying to rehab a rabid dog.

Someone who’s in close proximity of The Abomination needs to take one for the whole country. That’s all. We all know it.

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Dave Drell's avatar

You speak the truth Mz. ♥️

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Maybe along with some good old electric shock treatment. A frontal lobotomy would be out of the question since there's nothing left to remove but the rodents.

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