let’s do this!

I'm ready.

nauseous optimism, folks.

I think we’re in a good place right now.

I believe that America’s women are about to show the christofascists just how pissed off they remain about the Dobbs decision, and the shitcanning of Roe.

I’m convinced they’re going to show Donny Convict just how much they absolutely do not want a rapist “protecting” them “whether they like it or not.”

Kamala summed it up pretty well in her final campaign rally last night.

“so tonight I ask you one last time: are you ready to make your voices heard? do we believe in freedom? do we believe in opportunity? do we believe in the promise of America? and are we ready to fight for it? and when we fight — we win!”

I’m ready. let’s fucking do this.

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one thing’s for sure: we probably won’t know the winner tonight. there are too many nail-bitingly close races in way too many states. here’s what we can expect.

the only thing we can be sure of is that Little Donny Fuckface will declare victory tonight — probably even before the polls close in western states — and his unhinged worshipers will believe every lying word that seeps out of his putrefying anus-mouth.

Donny’s going to use the “red mirage” as the basis for anointing himself the winner.

hey, Robert Reich — over to you, bro. explain the red mirage to the good people out there.

You see, in almost every election, Republicans appear to take an early lead. That’s the red mirage. Then that lead gets smaller throughout the night, which is called the “blue shift.”

This happens because Republican votes tend to be counted before Democratic votes. 

It’s not magic. Votes are counted by precinct, and Democrats tend to live in more densely populated, urban precincts, while Republicans tend to live in more sparsely populated, rural ones. It just takes longer to count the votes in a precinct with a lot of people than in a precinct with fewer people.

remember, Donny tried to pull this shit four years ago.

stop the count, because that’s the way free and fair elections work — you pitch a tantrum and knock over the game board the second you start losing.

hey, worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media, can we talk? please do the country a solid and don’t help Donny in his bid to steal this election.

don’t print “Donald Trump Claims Victory” without also putting the word LIE in all your headlines. make it clear right up top that Donny is prevaricating his rancid pumpkin face off.

are you listening, Financial Times? because you had one job — and you fucked it up bigtime in 2020.

it’s bad enough that one-man leper colony Steve Bannon and the entire wingnut screech-monkey ecosystem are going to be screaming TRUMP WINS from every window. that’s their job, to lie to their gullible audiences.

the press doesn’t have to aid and abet them.

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speaking of the media — I swear, their dumbfuckery just never ends. it’s relentless.

got that? for the good of the country, in the spirit of unity, the next president should pardon … who, exactly?

obviously, the WSJ wants Donny Convict absolved of all of his treasonous crimes — but who is Donny supposed to pardon, should he win? Hunter Biden? fat chance of that happening.

the Journal lives in a fucking fantasy world if they think Mr. I’m Going To Arrest My Enemies gives one rat’s ass about unifying anything.

every time a new Democratic president is elected to office, the let’s unify America crowd starts playing these games. the media shoved this crap in our faces after January 6th — in the spirit of healing and unity, incoming president Biden should pardon Donny.

fuck that shit.

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hey, wanna see a dipshit try to polish a big, stinky turd?

“Trump came to my town last night. The empty seats at these remaining rallies are actually a good sign.”

you keep telling yourself that, Erick Son of Erick. whatever helps you cope.

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finally, here’s a feel-good story we can all get behind: Iowa’s voters have one more very good reason to put Kamala over the top.

Pro-Trump podcaster Joey Mannarino might end up with a few regrets once the US election results are announced in Iowa – after pledging to his half a million followers that he would castrate himself on camera if Kamala Harris won the swing state. 

let’s fucking do this.