Kamala Harris is so fucking good at trolling Donald Trump

and Donny’s so bad at dealing with it

one of the great pleasures of watching Team Kamala do their thing is witnessing how good they are at getting under Donny Dipshit’s incredibly thin skin. they know exactly where to stick the knife and then slowly twist it until Donny explodes in anger, and makes one unforced error after another.

they’re teaching a master class in how to demolish a bully — and we are all so here for it.

yesterday, Donny announced another pointless quote-unquote “press conference” — this one to be held at his weed-choked New Jersey ex-wife cemetery.

the Harris-Walz campaign immediately issued the following snarkfest.

TODAY: Donald Trump To Ramble Incoherently and Spread Dangerous Lies in Public, but at Different Home

Preview

Not so fresh off NABJ, Florida, and Twitter glitches, Donald Trump intends to deliver another self-obsessed rant full of his own personal grievances to distract from his toxic Project 2025 agenda, unpopular running mate, and increasing detachment from the reality of the voters who will decide this election.

These remarks will not be artificial intelligence, but they certainly will lack intelligence.

Banning abortion, raising costs on families, confusing basic facts, cutting Social Security and Medicare, blocking border security, and being publicly unstable, unfit, and unwell will not help his struggling campaign for president.

Tune in for the same old thing.

Team Kamala is simply stating what the stenographers of the corporate-controlled media are too afraid — or compliant — to say: Donny is an unhinged lunatic and everything out that falls of his fetid anus-mouth is gibberish.

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yesterday morning, the White House announced that they had negotiated with pharmaceutical companies to lower the prices of ten drugs. this really is a Big Fucking Deal™.

The negotiated prices, which take effect in 2026, are expected to save billions of dollars for Medicare, which is funded by taxpayers.

The 10 drugs subject to negotiations include widely used blood thinners and arthritis medications. Had the new prices been in effect last year, administration officials said, Medicare would have saved $6 billion, which would have reduced its spending on those drugs by 22 percent.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris took a well-earned victory lap at a rally in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. it was their first joint appearance since Kamala became the Democratic candidate for president.

Joe showed us that he’s pretty good at twisting the knife, too.

“the guy we’re running against, what’s his name? Donald Dump, or Donald whatever?”

it’s a dumb, silly joke — but effective as hell, because Donny Dump (sorry, it’s canon now) is too insecure and emotionally stunted to let the slightest insult pass.

Donny Dump can’t laugh at himself — but Joe can.

“I served in the Senate for two hundred and seventy years. I know I look forty but I’m a little bit older. for the longest time I was too damned young because I was only about twenty-nine when I got elected. now I’m too damned old.”

being able to laugh at themselves is what makes Joe and Kamala so instantly relatable to American voters. Donny Convict and Couchfuck McGee have no ability to laugh at themselves — and that’s why they’re flailing during this election cycle.

JD Vance has no one to blame but himself for an obvious joke about him fucking a couch becoming ingrained in the national consciousness. imagine if, when the story first went viral, JD had responded with something like “what can I say, that couch looked really hot.” the whole thing would have ended there.

but JD couldn’t laugh at himself — and now, as a result, everywhere he goes he’s Couchfuck McGee.

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meanwhile, Donny Conman snookered the credulous media again.

too broke and feeble to jet around the country and hold hate-rallies in swing states, Donny has realized he can do hate-rallies at his golf motels and fool the media into covering him by calling them them “press conferences” — and sure enough, the press fell for it again.

and oh look, the world’s shittiest prop comic brought some visual aids with him.

the breakfast items were on display because yesterday’s “press conference” was ostensibly about “inflation” — but of course what Donny actually prattled on about was his usual litany of grudges and grievances.

here, a reporter’s question about campaign strategy devolves into a meandering diatribe that finally — after about two minutes of self-pity — gets to the point: Kamala really is getting under his skin.

“I’m angry at her. I don’t have respect for her. she attacks me. she called me weird.”

boo fucking hoo, crybaby.

here’s how The New York Times cleaned that shit up.

the Grey Lady continues to carry water for Donny. did they accurately point out that Donny’s presser was 90 minutes of outright lies and batshit free-association? no, they fucking did not. what they reported was that Donny’s remarks were “wide-ranging.”

Mr. Trump bounced between his proposals to fight inflation, his dry recitation of economic figures that he used to criticize Ms. Harris and the Biden administration and a number of other wide-ranging tangents, including complaints about Hillary Clinton, windmills, the news media and President Biden’s decision to exit the race.

thanks, Grey Lady, for clearing that up.

not mentioned by the Times was this bit of what the actual fuck.

“I don’t think people know who she is yet. when people— really, ’cause people didn’t know. you can ask the man on the street. I saw it on one of the shows today, they asked the man on the street, what’s the last name of Kamala? nobody knew. it’s Harris. nobody knew the last name. I don’t even use it because nobody knows who I’m talking about. people don’t know who she is.”

I’m sorry, but what show is this, where nobody knows Kamala’s last name? is it America’s Top Moron? or is it Donny Convict Makes Shit Up?

also unreported was this.

“you’re allowed to rob a store as long as it’s not more than $950. has anyone ever heard of that? you can rob a store, and you have these thieves going into stores with calculators, calculating how much it is. because if it’s less than $950, they can rob it and not get charged.”

from what fever swamps is Donny getting his information? well, I did some googling, and apparently this “stealing below $950 is legal” bullshit is deliberate wingnut dissembling about a ten-year-old law in California.

California voters passed Proposition 47 in November 2014. It downgraded many nonviolent offenses, including some nonviolent property crimes where the value does not exceed $950, into misdemeanors, according to the text of the measure.

It did not give shoppers a license to steal beneath that threshold, experts say.

in Donny’s rotting cortex, this fairy tale has now been inflated into thieves from coast to coast bringing calculators into stores. (does Donny not realize that we all have calculator apps on our phones?)

Donny’s the one who could use a good calculator right about now, because it’s evident that he has no fucking clue how math works.

“virtually one hundred percent of the net job creation in the last year has gone to migrants. you know that? most of the job creation has gone to migrants. in fact. I’ve heard that substantially more than, uhhhh — and actually beyond that number of one hundred percent. much higher number than that, but the government has not caught up with that yet.”

wrap your mind around that: Donny actually believe it’s possible for a finite number of jobs to be higher than one hundred percent. no, not just higher — much higher.

how much higher, Donny? one-fifty percent? two-hundred percent? are these swarthy migrants taking three hundred percent of our jobs? let’s deport them all, and give four hundred percent of these jobs back to the white Christians who deserve them.

I really wish someone at the press conference had asked Donny about his weird math — but no. the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media are content to sweep all the crazy under the rug. Donny’s not deranged and demented, you see, he’s just wide-ranging.

thankfully, there’s one outlet that’s honestly reporting on just how fucking out there where the buses don’t run Donny is. here’s Team Harris-Walz, once again doing the media’s job for them.

Statement on Trump’s... Whatever That Was

At his country club, Donald Trump, huffed and puffed his opposition to lowering food costs for middle and working class Americans and prescription drug costs for seniors before pivoting back to his usual lies and delusions.

No surprise, Trump doesn’t want to defend his agenda that would raise costs for families by $3,900 a year, cut Social Security, and eliminate the Affordable Care Act all so he can give his rich donors tax breaks.

The American people cannot trust a word Donald Trump says, but they can trust Vice President Kamala Harris, who has spent her life taking on fraudsters, cheaters, and criminals like Donald Trump to make our country safer and lower costs for the middle class.

I really couldn’t have said it better myself.