Judge Merchan to Donny: fuck off, you’re not so special

there’s no presidential immunity for crimes you commit when you’re not president

of all the Very Special Boys who have ever walked the face of the Earth, Little Donny Fuckface just might be the Very Specialest.

laws, ethics, basic decency — none of those silly things apply to him.

Donny can bilk donors to his fake charities and suffer no consequences. ditto for swindling students at his fake university. he can steal our nation’s most-closely-guarded secrets, and then try to overthrow our government — and the six bought-and-paid-for Federalist Society hacks on the Supreme Court will hand-wave it all away.

but there is one thing on the planet that Donny can’t get away with. he can’t fuck a porn actress, pay her hush money, and then falsify business records to cover it all up.

that, my friends, is the one crime for which Donny has actually been convicted in a court of law — and it’s broken his brain.

ever since the Supreme Court declared that Donny has a free pass to commit all the presidential crimes he wants, he’s been insisting that everything he does is an official act of office. so, naturally, he went running to Judge Merchan and said it was so unfair to be convicted of paying hush money and covering it up, because those were — wait for it — official acts of office.

so unfair! no one has ever been treated so poorly! I demand this case be dismissed!

what Donny wasn’t counting on was that Judge Merchan understands how calendars work. it took the judge about fifteen seconds to determine that the crimes for which Donny was found guilty took place before he became president — and so the judge slapped Donny with a writ of go fuck yourself.

A New York judge ruled that former President Donald Trump cannot claim presidential immunity to overturn his felony conviction.

Merchan said the criminal charges stemmed from Trump’s “private acts” prior to him becoming president. And he argued Trump’s communications about the payments while he was in the White House did not touch on any official acts.

the howls of outrage from Team Donny were loud, shrill and senseless.

“This lawless case should have never been brought, and the Constitution demands that it be immediately dismissed, as President Trump must be allowed to continue the Presidential Transition process, and execute the vital duties of the presidency, unobstructed by the remains of this, or any other, Witch Hunt,” said spokesman Steven Cheung in a statement.

so unfair! no one has ever been treated so poorly!

boo fucking hoo. the Constitution demands no such thing — and nobody is “obstructing” Donny from “executing vital duties.” in fact, everybody involved in this case has bent over backwards to accommodate him. the sentencing has already been postponed twice — and as far as District Attorney Alvin Bragg is concerned, he’s willing to put it off until how about never, is never good for you?

Prosecutors have signaled a willingness to freeze the case for four years while Mr. Trump holds office, a move that would indefinitely postpone his sentencing.

Donny really needs to dry his eyes and stop whining, and appreciate how good he has it. once again, he’s being shown deference that no other convicted felon would receive.

at the same time, let’s give three cheers to Judge Juan Merchan, who is just about the only figure of authority willing to stand up to Donny right now. in refusing to dismiss the case outright, the judge is also refusing to obey in advance.

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oh look, Donny Convict isn’t even president yet and he’s already started his Vengeance Tour.

the whiniest diaper-baby in the world held a press conference yesterday. here are some of the words that oozed out of his rancid anus-mouth.

“I’m doing this not because I want to. I’m doing this because I feel I have an obligation to. I’m going to be bringing one against the people in Iowa, their newspaper, which had a very very good pollster who got me right all the time, and then just before the election, she said I was going to lose by three or four points. it became the biggest story all over the world because I was going to win Iowa by twenty points. the farmers love me and I love the farmers. and it was interesting the way she did it. she brought it down two weeks before, she said I was only going to win by four. that was the big story. but that was good because she brought it down from like twenty-two points to four. or whatever that number was. way up. way up. easy win. never even thought to go there.”

so, Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants is threatening to sue a newspaper and a pollster, for the unspeakable crime of getting a poll wrong.

how fucking broken-inside do you have to be to demand legal recourse for getting your feelings hurt?

so unfair! no one has even been treated so poorly!

and sure enough, later that day —

Donald Trump sued prominent political analyst and pollster Ann Selzer, the Des Moines Register and its parent company Gannett Monday for “brazen election interference” and fraud after Selzer incorrectly predicted a swing-state win in Iowa for Vice President Kamala Harris just a day before the presidential election last month. Trump went on to win the state by 13 percentage points.

pro tip: getting a poll wrong is not a crime, and it’s not “brazen election interference” — but now, a pollster and a newspaper will have to waste time and money fighting a frivolous lawsuit.

ABC News can go fuck itself. this is their fault.

this is the direct result of ABC News caving to pressure from their Disney overlords, and agreeing to pay out fifteen million dollars to settle the lawsuit filed by Donny.

now this litigious shitweasel is emboldened. now he thinks he has the right to go after anyone who is mean to him — for any trivial reason at all. pollsters. newspapers. who’s next?

this is why you don’t obey in advance — because when you do, you fuck it up for everybody.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.