Jim Jordan just can't stop fucking that chicken
Jordan held another one of his famous clownshoes hearings yesterday
one thing you can say about shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan is that is always quite willing to make an utter fool of himself.
you could call it a compulsion.
fresh off the news that he and James Comer have been getting cozy with a Chinese spy, Jordan wasted everyone’s time with another one of his famous clownshoes hearings yesterday.
you already know how it went, because all of these hearings follow the same template: Jordan huffs and puffs and waves his arms and shouts and points his fingers and makes wild allegations that have no bearing on reality, and then when it’s the Democrats’ turn to speak, they fucking demolish everything that just came out of Gym’s mouth — because Jordan is a gibbering loon, and the Dems come armed with actual facts.
the victim of yesterday’s hearing was FBI Director Christopher Wray.
House Republicans have had their knives out for Wray for a long time, because Wray is right at the center of one of their oldest and most-cherished conspiracy theories. it goes likes this:
a bunch of lifelong Republicans in the FBI conspired with Hillary and Ukraine to lose her own election so that Trump could become president so that Christopher Wray and the deep state could take Trump him down.
no, seriously. this is their gospel.
now take that nugget of dipshittery and throw in a bunch of covid nonsense and Hunter Biden’s penis, and you’ve pretty much got yesterday’s hearing in a nutshell.
Democrats, as always, won the day. here are some of the highlights.
Georgia Rep Hank Johnson cut right to the chase: “we are here today because MAGA Republicans will do anything to protect Donald Trump, their savior, no matter how unfounded or dangerous it may be to do so.”
Ted Lieu was absolutely brilliant, running through a long list of Trump cronies who have been convicted of crimes, wrapping it up with, “it is not the fault of the FBI that Donald Trump surrounded himself with criminals.”
Eric Swalwell was on fire. he’s had it up to here with wingnuts whining about Hunter Biden’s dick, and he nailed Republicans for their hypocrisy: “you're essentially saying to the American people that you're guardians of privacy, but the 2020 election was determined because the FBI didn't let more Americans see a private citizen's nonconsensual nudes.”
Swalwell, again: “I think it's quite rich that the guy that has accused you of lawlessness and weaponization is 400 days into violation of his own congressional subpoena over January 6.”
even Wray himself got into the act, responding to a grievance-filled blizzard of gibberish with “the idea that I'm biased against conservatives seems somewhat insane to me given my own personal background.”
and on and on it went. another completely wasted day in your Republican House of Batshit Crazy Representatives.
will Jim Jordan ever learn his lesson? the next time he holds a hearing, will he at long last come prepared with facts and reason and stop embarrassing himself?
don’t count on it.
Jim Jordan just can’t stop fucking that chicken.
folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.
It's too bad nobody reminded Matt Gaetz, after he was screeching about the FBI accessing personal data on American citizens, that Gaetz and Greenberg searched DAVID databases 700 times for personal information about their lovers, political rivals and celebrities, including Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Greenberg pleaded guilty to using the system to 'investigate his sexual partners,' including a 17-year-old sex trafficking victim, and Gaetz could be under investigation again.
I was glad that Lawrence O’Donnell compared these hearings to McCarthyism. That is exactly what the entire GQP has become, a bunch of stupid, lying, hypocritical, power mad, performance addicted, dick swinging, gaslighting, sick-o’s.
My main concern is what will actually burn through the toxic shit pile of their brains to make this insanity stop? The trump voters are too brainwashed or stupid to see the rotting vermin they’ve attached themselves to, but most of the GQP know they are defending a criminal. It’s f*cking crazy town and it appears that they like it.