Jim Jordan just can't stop fucking that chicken

Jordan held another one of his famous clownshoes hearings yesterday

one thing you can say about shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan is that is always quite willing to make an utter fool of himself.

you could call it a compulsion.

fresh off the news that he and James Comer have been getting cozy with a Chinese spy, Jordan wasted everyone’s time with another one of his famous clownshoes hearings yesterday.

you already know how it went, because all of these hearings follow the same template: Jordan huffs and puffs and waves his arms and shouts and points his fingers and makes wild allegations that have no bearing on reality, and then when it’s the Democrats’ turn to speak, they fucking demolish everything that just came out of Gym’s mouth — because Jordan is a gibbering loon, and the Dems come armed with actual facts.

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the victim of yesterday’s hearing was FBI Director Christopher Wray.

House Republicans have had their knives out for Wray for a long time, because Wray is right at the center of one of their oldest and most-cherished conspiracy theories. it goes likes this:

a bunch of lifelong Republicans in the FBI conspired with Hillary and Ukraine to lose her own election so that Trump could become president so that Christopher Wray and the deep state could take Trump him down.

no, seriously. this is their gospel.

now take that nugget of dipshittery and throw in a bunch of covid nonsense and Hunter Biden’s penis, and you’ve pretty much got yesterday’s hearing in a nutshell.

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Democrats, as always, won the day. here are some of the highlights.

Georgia Rep Hank Johnson cut right to the chase: “we are here today because MAGA Republicans will do anything to protect Donald Trump, their savior, no matter how unfounded or dangerous it may be to do so.”

Ted Lieu was absolutely brilliant, running through a long list of Trump cronies who have been convicted of crimes, wrapping it up with, “it is not the fault of the FBI that Donald Trump surrounded himself with criminals.”

Eric Swalwell was on fire. he’s had it up to here with wingnuts whining about Hunter Biden’s dick, and he nailed Republicans for their hypocrisy: “you're essentially saying to the American people that you're guardians of privacy, but the 2020 election was determined because the FBI didn't let more Americans see a private citizen's nonconsensual nudes.”

Swalwell, again: “I think it's quite rich that the guy that has accused you of lawlessness and weaponization is 400 days into violation of his own congressional subpoena over January 6.”

even Wray himself got into the act, responding to a grievance-filled blizzard of gibberish with “the idea that I'm biased against conservatives seems somewhat insane to me given my own personal background.”

and on and on it went. another completely wasted day in your Republican House of Batshit Crazy Representatives.

will Jim Jordan ever learn his lesson? the next time he holds a hearing, will he at long last come prepared with facts and reason and stop embarrassing himself?

don’t count on it.

Jim Jordan just can’t stop fucking that chicken.

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