Jim Jordan isn't just a shouty half-dressed degenerate. he's also a corrupt sleaze-weasel
if you have to pay your “witnesses” to tell you what want to hear, you’ve already lost
here’s another story that should have been a major fucking scandal, yet it barely made a ripple in the news and was gone in less than a day.
from The New York Times: G.O.P. Witnesses, Paid by Trump Ally, Embraced Jan. 6 Conspiracy Theories.
a trio of witnesses billed as “whistle-blowers” provided no evidence of wrongdoing, espoused false claims about the Capitol riot and were compensated by an ally of former President Donald J. Trump.
wait, what? a trio of witnesses did what? and were compensated by who?
what the fuck kind of bullshit is The Man Who Looked The Other Way trying to pull here?
look, I get it. High Decibels Gym is his hopping mad. He’s full of grievances. He’s out for blood. the January 6 Committee exposed him as the craven co-conspirator that he is, and he wants revenge.
but Jay-Jay forgot the First Rule of Investigating Crimes: there has to be a crime to investigate. otherwise you’re just wasting everyone’s time on performative-nonsense bullshit.
(but look who I’m talking to: Mr. Thirty Two Benghazi Investigations Weren’t Enough, Let’s Have A Thirty Third.)
Shirtsleeves Jim can huff and puff and get mad about the January 6 hearings all he wants, but in the case of Jan 6 there were actual criminals doing actual crimes.
and when you have actual criminals doing actual crimes and leaving a fucking paper trail that proves it, you don’t have to pull crap like paying dipshits to tell you what you want to hear.
now, shouldn’t paying “witnesses” be a scandal? a major scandal? imagine that it came out that Adam Schiff had paid witnesees in any of the Trump impeachment hearings. holy fucking shit, the howls of outrage from the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would have ripped a fucking hole in the space-time continuum.
there would have been screaming all-caps headlines in the New York Post. Hannity would have shit roofing nails on live television five nights a week for year.
and yet this story from three days ago is already gone.
finally, is paying “witnesses” a crime? don’t ask me, I’m just a loudmouth on the internet. it seems like it should be a crime. but I do know this:
if you have to pay your “witnesses” to tell you what want to hear, you’ve already lost.
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Two thoughts: There’s a cartoon series to be made about what it’s like to live inside this fuckwit’s skull. A dark, dark cartoon. Drawn by Botero or Grosz.
Also, didn’t Kash Patel, who paid those three, commit betrayal of office when he handed secret intelligence documents to Nunes back in the day? This whole operation is fodder for the like of Jimmy Breslin. Political reporters can’t handle it. Give to the crime beat.
Section 201(b)(3) of the federal anti-gratuity statute makes it a crime to corruptly give, offer, or promise anything of value to any person with intent to influence that person's testimony under oath in a trial, hearing, or other proceeding. A person who violates this statute may be fined, imprisoned, or both.