Team Donny is sewer clowns all the way down

Devin Nunes and Richard Grenell join the confederacy

our one saving grace in all the carnage to come may well be that Donny Convict values familiarity over competence. for years now, he’s been dragging the same grab-bag of misfits along with him, as he moves from golf motel to White House to golf motel and back again.

the ragtag band of ideologues, fascists, zealots, toadies, drunks, flimflam artists, serial rapists, grievance babies, hotheads, and Fox News found objects who make up Donny’s Confederacy of Sewer Clowns run the gamut from stupid to fucking idiot.

Donny just can’t quit these guys. it doesn’t matter that these low-wattage hangers-on have failed at every venture. all that matters is that they’re eternally willing to kiss Donny’s ass, and to eagerly go along with whatever fuckbrained scheme he comes up with.

so get ready to be re-introduced to Donny’s latest Sewer Clown: the serial failure Devin Nunes.

President-elect Donald Trump tapped former California Rep. Devin Nunes as chairman of the President’s Intelligence Advisory Board in a series of announcements on Saturday.

that’s right, Devin Nunes — the deeply un-serious diaperbag who once sued an imaginary cow.

when a twitter account called Devin Nunes’ Cow started tweeting out stuff like “Devin’s boots are full of manure. He’s udder-ly worthless and its pasture time to move him to prison,” Devin was all this aggression will not stand, man — and did what any thin-skinned man-baby would do: he filed a lawsuit, and got laughed out of court.

California Republican Rep. Devin Nunes cannot sue Twitter over allegedly defamatory remarks made about him by satirical accounts pretending to be his mother and a cow, a Virginia judge ruled Wednesday.

oh, and Devin didn’t just unsuccessfully sue one imaginary cow. he’s a lawsuit factory. he files failed defamation suits as often as other people change their socks. there’s a whole fucking wikipedia page about it.

each and every one of these suits got laughed out of court.

so why does Donny love him some Devin? because Nunes, as a member of the House Intelligence Committee during Donny’s first term, did everything he could to fuck up the Trump-Russia investigation.

In February 2017, Nunes, who served on the Trump transition team, was the first leading House Republican to deny that the intelligence community had evidence of contact between the Trump campaign and Russian operatives. He rejected repeated calls for an investigation by a select committee, saying the House should not engage in a “witch hunt” and that “at this point, there's nothing there.”

in fact, Devin used to regularly go running to the White House to warn Donny in advance of incriminating evidence the investigation had uncovered.

Tuesday evening, March 21: Devin Nunes takes a phone call while sharing a ride with a staffer, according to The Washington Post. After the call, he switches cars without telling his team where he’s going. As a Nunes spokesperson confirmed following a later CNN report, the unscheduled trip is to the White House, where an unnamed source provides Nunes with information about incidental collection of Trump and his associates.

this fucking guy actually fancied himself to be some clownshoe James Bond, switching cars to avoid being followed. awesome plan, Devin. get over yourself.

naturally, Dear Leader rewards this kind of shameless kiss-ass loyalty, so when Devin eventually failed out of Congress, Donny picked him to be the CEO of his crappy app, Truth Social. never mind that Devin had no experience running any sort of business. never mind that he was corrupt and incompetent.

According to documents obtained by ProPublica, an unnamed Trump Media whistleblower recently asked the company’s board of directors to fire Nunes. One person with knowledge of the situation told ProPublica that the complaint alleged “misuse of funds, hiring of foreign contractors and interfering with product development.”

so now, this lifelong underwhelming failure is going to chair Donny’s Intelligence Advisory Board.

The President’s Intelligence Advisory Board, established in 1956, aids the president by offering independent analysis on the effectiveness of the intelligence community and the ability of U.S. agencies to meet “the nation’s intelligence needs.”

‘Devin Nunes intelligence’ is the most oxymoronic oxymoron ever — but now Devin’s going to be Donny’s inside man, snitching to him on whatever our intel community comes up with. he’s going to be spying on our spies.

what could go wrong?

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Donny’s other new Sewer Clown is Richard Grenell.

President-elect Donald J. Trump named Richard Grenell, his former ambassador to Germany and former acting director of national intelligence, as his “envoy for special missions,” Mr. Trump wrote on his Truth Social platform on Saturday.

here’s what Grenell’s been up to these past few years: he’s been serving as Donny’s personal “shadow secretary of state” — flying around the world, cooking up secret deals with right-wing regimes, and generally undermining Joe Biden’s foreign policy.

‘Building an authoritarian axis’: the Trump ‘envoy’ courting the global far right

Richard Grenell’s shadow foreign policy campaign is unsettling diplomats and threatens to collapse US interests

For Donald Trump, he is “my envoy”, the man apparently anointed as the former US president’s roving ambassador while he plots a return to the White House.

Meet Richard Grenell, vocal tribune of Trump’s America First credo on the international stage and the man hotly tipped to become secretary of state if the presumed Republican nominee beats Joe Biden in November’s presidential election.

how the fuck was this allowed to happen? someone please explain this to me, because private citizens — which is what Donny has been for the last four years — shouldn’t get to meddle in foreign policy and they sure as hell shouldn’t be allowed to have their own “roving ambassador” going around and fucking shit up.

In recent months, he has pitched up in Guatemala, where he tried to stymie US state department pleas for a peaceful transition of power by backing rightwing efforts to block the inauguration of the liberal president-elect, Bernardo Arévalo, on supposed electoral fraud grounds about a poll previously declared “free and fair” by international observers.

how was this not a violation of the Logan Act?

The Logan Act was intended to prohibit United States citizens without authority from interfering in relations between the United States and foreign governments.

once again, the Very Special Boy who stole nuclear war plans and waved them in the faces of randos at his New Jersey wife cemetery was allowed to get away with shit that anyone not named Donald Trump would already be behind bars for.

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so, what are alleged to be drones have been seen flying over New Jersey, and no one has a clue just what the fuck is going on.

A large number of mysterious drones have been reported flying over parts of New Jersey and the East Coast in recent weeks, sparking speculation and concern over who sent them and why.

Law enforcement officials have stressed that the drones don’t appear to be a threat to public safety, but many state and municipal lawmakers have nonetheless called for stricter rules about who can fly the unmanned aircraft.

naturally, the stupidest fucking people on the planet are freaking out over this mysterious shit. check out this illiterate hysteria from Little Donny Headtrauma.

kids, don’t “shot” at drones — or anything — you see flying in the sky, it’s illegal as fuck to point a weapon straight up and pull the trigger.

It is a federal crime to shoot at a drone, meaning it is illegal nationwide. Shooting down a drone can also lead to state or local charges for violating other laws not specific to drones.

but of course, people are melting down and insisting that everything they see in the sky is a drone.

Democratic Sen. Andy Kim of New Jersey posted videos to his X account showing what appeared to be a cluster of drones over the Round Valley Reservoir Thursday night. But on Saturday, he posted on X most of the aircraft he initially thought were drones, were “almost certainly planes.”

enter Larry Hogan, the former Republican governor of Maryland. on Friday night he claimed a bunch of drones were flying over his house — and so naturally, he is DeMaNdInG aNsWeRs!!!

Last night, beginning at around 9:45 pm, I personally witnessed (and videoed) what appeared to be dozens of large drones in the sky above my residence in Davidsonville, Maryland (25 miles from our nation’s capital). I observed the activity for approximately 45 minutes.

Hogan then forever enshrined himself into the Unserious Clownfuck Hall of Fame by posting to not-twitter a video of … the constellation Orion.

I shit you not.

how does a fucking full-grown adult not know what Orion looks like?

Community Notes had a field day.

again, I caution you: kids, don’t fire your weapons at constellations. the space aliens who live there are going to get royally pissed, and they’re going to come over here and fuck our shit seven ways from breakfast. we’re all going to end up enslaved, and working in the asteroid mines.

you’ve been warned.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.