indictment season: justice comes for Donald Trump — and Republicans completely lose their shit

predictably, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex is melting straight the fuck down

late last week we finally got the news Donald Trump was fucking indicted, and that his arraignment in New York will be tomorrow.

and holy fucking shit, the howling from the Republican screech monkeys, already turned up to eleven from the second that Trump announced his imaginary arrest, went completely off the charts. the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex melted straight the fuck down into a twenty-megaton shit-fit.

Lindsey Graham totally lost his blubbery shit on Fox News.

Acyn @Acyn

Lindsey Graham appears to be on the verge of crying

and then later tweeted the perfectly not-insane suggestion that Donald Trump act like one of those people — you know exactly who Lindsey is referring to — and do a little rioting on his way to have his pussy grabbed by Lady Justice.

Lindsey Graham @LindseyGrahamSC

On the way to the DA’s office on Tuesday, Trump should smash some windows, rob a few shops and punch a cop. He would be released IMMEDIATELY!

oh Lindsey. those photos locked away in Trump’s safe must really be embarrassing.

meanwhile, Congresswoman Sporkytoes announced that she would be heading to New York to jump in front of the very first camera she could find and stamp her feet and hold her breath until she turned blue because WITCH-HUNT!

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 @mtgreenee

I’m going to New York on Tuesday. We MUST protest the unconstitutional WITCH HUNT!

and I’m totally looking forward to watching Lady Space Laser — along with the seven or eight bedraggled doofuses dumb enough to tag along with her — being completely ignored by busy New Yorkers who absolutely do not have time for her bullshit.

Gitmo Ron took a little time out of his busy schedule being of a hateful asshole to wedge in a little antisemitism.

Ron DeSantis @GovRonDeSantis

The weaponization of the legal system to advance a political agenda turns the rule of law on its head. It is un-American. The Soros-backed Manhattan District Attorney has consistently bent the law to downgrade felonies and to excuse criminal misconduct. Yet, now he is… https://t.co/seRhQ7aZBn

spineless cowflop Kevin McCarthy did the same why are they going after Trump when the streets are full of lawless black people running wild dance that Lindsey G. does so well.

Kevin McCarthy @SpeakerMcCarthy

Alvin Bragg has irreparably damaged our country in an attempt to interfere in our Presidential election. As he routinely frees violent criminals to terrorize the public, he weaponized our sacred system of justice against President Donald Trump. The American people will not… https://t.co/hq3ARmVfoR

and in lockstep, every single one of these performative-nonsense blowhards started screaming PROSECUTING TRUMP WILL GUARANTEE HIS VICTORY IN 2024 in perfect four-part harmony.

but look: these are same dopey dipshits who predicted that impeaching Trump would guarantee his reelection in 2020 and that searching Mar-a-Lago for stolen nuclear secrets would guarantee a giant red wave in 2022, so keep in mind that these people are deeply unserious buffoons and you can safely ignore whatever high-volume caterwauling is being propelled at you now about 2024.

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let’s check in on Individual-1 Junior and see how he’s coping.

Andy Ostroy @AndyOstroy

Cocaine Bear’s on the loose again…

oh dear.

all the Trump Fan Art Guys were having a perfectly normal one, too.

Nick Schroer 🇺🇸 🇮🇪 🇩🇪 @NickBSchroer

They’ve made him an Outlaw. Here is my statement on the tyrannical overreach targeting former President Donald Trump

Jon McNaughton Art @McNaughtonArt

My thoughts and prayers are for Trump and also our country, as I see everything our forebears fought for on the cusp of collapsing.

these guys. these fucking guys. how fucking delusional do you have to be to look at a deteriorating old garbage scow and see Rambo.

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finally, let’s see how a real leader acts.

The New York Times @nytimes

President Biden said he had no comment on Donald Trump's indictment when asked by reporters outside the White House on Friday morning. nyti.ms/3ZuEAwQ

no. fucking. comment. like a fucking boss.

now let’s all go enjoy tomorrow’s arraignment.

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folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.