Iran is basically now just farting in Preznit Fuckwit’s general direction
President Weak and Stupid gets played again
flailing flailboy Preznit Fuckwit continues to flail as he searches for a magic bullet with which to end his unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-clusterfuck-of-a-war on Iran.
weak, stupid and cognitively impaired, Donny changes his strategy at least as often as he changes his diaper — but not even one of his fuckbrained schemes has come even close to working.
and now he’s been reduced to just making shit up as he goes along, throwing every goddamned thing at the wall, hoping against hope that something finally sticks.
spoiler alert: nothing is sticking — and Iran is eating Donny’s lunch.
here’s Donny, phoning into Joe Kernan’s CNBC show yesterday morning.
Joe Kernan: “you’re saying you need at least the prospect for a signed deal today or tomorrow or else you would resume bombing Iran.”
Donny: “well, I expect to be bombing. we’re ready to go. the military is raring to go.”
oh great, here we go again. Donny’s got a shiny new ultimatum that he can’t wait to take for a spin around the block: ‘sign a peace deal today or the bombs will start to fall.’
he’s fucking ‘raring to go’ — and so is the military. Donny and his piss-drunk Secretary of Death just can’t wait to serve up piping-hot war crimes, fresh from the oven.
and, once again, Donny’s turned foreign policy into a game show. ‘will there be bombing? turn in tonight and find out!’
‘spectacle over competence’ is no way to run a country, yet here we are, trapped in Donnyland — because all Donny understands is carnival barking, and calling maximum attention to himself. he doesn’t know how to just quietly go about his business and get shit done.
even Iran is getting tired of Donny’s sideshow act.
“Trump, by imposing a siege and violating the ceasefire, seeks to turn this negotiating table— in his own imagination— into a table of surrender or to justify renewed warmongering. We do not accept negotiations under the shadow of threats, and in the past two weeks, we have prepared to reveal new cards on the battlefield.”
that was Speaker of Iran’s Parliament, Mohammad Ghalibaf. he doesn’t sound very scared, does he? I mean, he’s basically telling Donny to eat an entire bag of dicks, and put his impotent threats where the sun don’t shine.
wow, I’ll bet Ghalibaf’s tweet set Donny right off. I’ll bet the thin-skinned bastard shit a massive brick, right then and there. I’ll bet he phoned up Plastered Pete and told him to warm up those bombers. I’ll bet he—
wait, what? he taco’d?
hang on, Donny’s extended the ceasefire — for an unspecified amount of time — because reasons?
bear in mind that Iran didn’t ask for an extension to the ceasefire. they seemed fine with going back to a state of actual war. but Donny just up and gave them a extension, all wrapped up with a pretty bow.
why?
yeah, well, as we like to say around here, ‘those markets aren’t going to manipulate themselves.’
at this point, Iran is pretty much just farting in Donny’s general direction.
and Donny has no choice but to take it.
so, Iran refuses to negotiate, the Strait of Epstein™ is still closed down, and Donny’s supposed blockade of Iran’s ports doesn’t seem all that blockade-y.
“Iran Tankers Go Dark to Sail Past US Blockade Laden With Oil...At least two fully laden Iranian tankers have sailed out of the Persian Gulf and past a US blockade this week”
now hold on there just one minute. are you telling me that Iranian oil tankers are sailing past the US blockade JUST BY TURNING OFF THEIR LIGHTS?
IT’S THAT EASY?
what kind of Three-Stooges-level bullshit is this? is Donny’s war being planned by children?
how can it be that simple to outwit the US Navy? I keep hearing how we’ve got the mightiest military in the world, and how our warfighters are ready to warfight the shit out of any war that needs to be fought.
is that not true?
because it seems to me like Iran is playing a vigorous round of ‘I’ve got your nose’ with our military — and our military is falling for it.
come on, Iran, quit booping our nose.
even the Wall Street Journal is all ‘what in the actual fuck’?
the Journal’s premise is that Iran keeps hoodwinking Donny by making the same empty promises, over and over, and that Donny keeps allowing himself to get played. and you know what? the Journal is not fucking wrong.
How many times will President Trump pay Iran for the same real estate? Twice he has announced the opening of the Strait of Hormuz, and twice he has given up U.S. leverage in exchange. Yet the strait remains closed, as Iran’s regime demands more.
this editorial, by the way, caused Dear Leader to power-load his diaper on the spot. look this hysterical multi-hundred-word tantrum that he shat out onto his crappy app.
shut the fuck up, you annoying old man. we get it: you’re amazing and no one appreciates you. fine, move on already. no one cares. here comes Walt Nauta with your pudding cup. chow down. bon appetit, mon ami.
so why are we even having a war, if we can’t achieve even one of our goals, and Iran is making us look like morons? is it just to see how many service members can die of the flu?
absolutely, let’s make flu shots in the military voluntary. that’s the ticket. let’s play Russian roulette with a potentially deadly virus, because what could possibly go wrong?
has Piss-Drunk Pete been talking to the whale-head-chainsaw enthusiast again? is this some dumbfuckery that he and Bobby Brainworms hatched after a night of hoovering blow off a toilet seat?
isn’t is amazing how every idea that Donny’s sewer clowns come up with is bad?
not once have they done anything where you nod your head and go ‘oh huh, that actually kind of makes sense.’
it’s just an infinite series of disastrous decisions, one right after another, cooked up by crackpots, clowns and charlatans.
do you think Piss-Drunk Pete has ever actually picked up a history book?
I’m guessing not, because actually knowing shit seems kind of woke.
Kevin Warsh is Donny’s pick to undermine the Federal Reserve Board. the public got its first view of Warsh at his Senate confirmation hearings yesteday — and, frankly, Ol’ Kev seems kind of skeevy.
ELIZABETH WARREN: Did Donald Trump lose the 2020 election?
KEVIN WARSH: Uhm, we try to keep politics if I'm confirmed out of the Federal Reserve
WARREN: I'm just asking a factual question
WARSH: I believe this body certified the election
WARREN: That's not the question I'm asking
Warsh knows full well that Donny is a losing loser who lost the shit out of the 2020 election — but he also knows that he can’t come right out and admit it, because it would cause Donny to blow a gasket. so he has to prevaricate and dance his way around the question, like the weasely little weasel he is.
this should really be the litmus test for any of Donny’s nominees: did he lose the 2020 election? it’s a simple question, dumb-asses. it’s not fucking rocket science.
wait, Liz Warren isn’t finished using Kevin Warsh as a chew toy — because she’d also like to know if Kev has his own dead pedo bestie problem.
WARREN: That's not my question. Are you refusing to tell us if you have investments in vehicles set up by Jeffrey Epstein?
KEVIN WARSH: Those assets will be sold if I'm confirmed
wow, Warsh is really shit at giving straight answers to simple questions, isn’t he?
Kev won’t tell you if he has any investments tied to Jeffrey Epstein, but he does pinky-swear on a whole stack of bibles to sell those investments, but not until after he’s confirmed.
oh, okay. thanks, Kev. you’re doing the world a huge favor. you’re a peach. you’re a prince among men.
fuck this guy. let’s do a quick palate cleanse. Flippy McCrushnuts, can you come in here a minute?
thanks, bro. now let’s move on to our heroes of the day: the voters of Virginia, who passed a measure redistricting the living fuck out of their state, making ten of its eleven districts Democratic.
remember, Republicans started this shit when they chose out of the clear blue to gerrymander the entire state of Texas, to rig it to be even more heavily Republican than it already was.
and now that states like California and Virginia are giving Republicans a taste of their own medicine, all they can do is whine like the piss-babies they are.
boo fucking hoo.
oh, and the Washington Post can go fuck itself sideways — because apparently, when Republicans do a gerrymander, it’s no big deal.
but when Democrat’s do it, it’s so unfair.
eat binkie, WaPo.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit
"At least 2 ships attacked in Strait of Hormuz after Trump announces indefinite extension of Iran ceasefire"
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/us-iran-war-strait-of-hormuz-2-ships-attacked-peace-talks-jeopardize/
so, the ceasefire is going just swimmingly, it seems
As a veteran I can’t even begin to stress the importance of vaccines.
When recruits go through any branch of basic, there is literally a “Basic training flu” and it is BAD!
Notice also, whiskey dick Pete picked the least important on the schedule of vaccines as a stress test — we all know vaccines turn you into a big wuss after all.