“I hear you’re free on Wednesdays” — Dark Brandon masterfully trolls toddler Trump

bring on the debates!

Little Donny Fuckface is a burst trash bag of personality defects. anything that can go wrong with a person’s psyche has in fact gone wrong with this guy. he’s arrogant. he’s a bully. he’s abusive, lazy, petty and vain.

he’s greedy. he’s a liar and a cheater. he’s needy, insecure and vindictive. he’s desperate for attention. Donald Trump just might be the most thoroughly broken-inside person who ever lived.

but above all, the thin-skinned dipshit absolutely cannot handle being mocked. the guy just can’t let any remark pass, no matter how fleeting or insignificant. say anything critical of Trump and he’ll fly into a rage and post some ALL CAPS RANT in response — and he’ll carry a grudge about it for-fucking-ever.

this is why it’s been so amusing to know that Donny’s trapped in a courtroom and can’t say a word as witnesses testify to having called him “VonShitzInPantz,” “orange turd,” “Dictator Douche Bag,” “Cheeto-dusted cartoon villain,” and on and on. you know it’s killing him that he’s gag-ordered and can’t fire back.

that Trump is so easily triggered is also why it’s super fucking hilarious to watch Dark Brandon troll the shit out of Donny.

“Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020. since then, he hasn’t shown up for a debate. now he’s acting like he wants to debate me again. well, make my day, pal. I’ll even do it twice. so let’s pick the dates, Donald. I hear you’re free on Wednesdays.”

Dark Brandon proposed two dates — June 27 on CNN and September 10 on ABC — and the following terms.

Mr. Biden’s team wants the two debates to be conducted with no live audience — another break with tradition.

Candidates would take turns answering questions from an agreed-upon moderator from a major news network, and the non-speaking candidate’s microphone would be deactivated.

Donny Ratbrain, because he acts first and thinks never, immediately agreed — and, as if on cue, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex started whining.

this is so unfair! why is the liberal media hosting these debates? how can there be no audience of adoring cultists? how can they cut Dear Leader’s microphone? there can only be one reason, the nitwits concluded: the whole thing is rigged.

‘Rigged!’ Lara Trump Is Already Claiming the Debates Her Father-in-Law Agreed to Are Fixed

It took Republican National Committee Co-Chair Lara Trump mere hours to deem the two presidential debates Donald Trump had just agreed to, “rigged.”

annoying tech-bro Vivek Ramaswamy smells a rat.

“Call me cynical, but why is Biden suddenly so willing to debate? It could be because he’s desperate, or it could be because it’s a set-up. Keep an eye on the details of how all this comes together. You don’t often see a sudden 180 like this unless there’s more to the story.”

Viv, you’re never going to be vice president. stop trying to ingratiate yourself with Dear Leader. stick to the things you’re good at, like securities fraud.

Sean Hannity devoted the first twenty minutes of last night’s show to making a few demands of his own.

“I would add that moderators’ mikes, they need to be muted also, after a question. why? because it’s obvious: the liberal media, they’d love to be two-on-one versus Donald Trump. no, that can’t happen. nor should networks be allowed to put anything on the screen but the names of the candidates, because they might try to hurt Donald Trump that way, and participate that way. no go.”

basically, Hannity wants the whole thing rigged in favor of Trump. he wants Donny to be able to lie his face off without being fact-checked in real time. Hannity wants Trump to be able to spew his bullshit about “post-birth abortion” without having the words this is a fucking lie about a thing that never happens appear in the crawl across the bottom of the screen.

boo fucking hoo, Sean. here’s your binky.

Hannity and his ilk are right about one thing: the debate format definitely works to Donny’s disadvantage. there won’t be an audience to play off of, and since he won’t have a live mic while Biden is speaking, he won’t be able to filibuster like he did during the first debate in 2016.

so why did Trump so readily agree to Dark Brandon’s terms?

because, once again, Donny is an easily-triggered toddler who acts first and thinks never. he got trolled by Biden and he fell for it.

after all, Trump did state that he would debate Biden “ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANYPLACE!” — and Dark Brandon called his bluff.

Joe Biden is so fucking good at this.

“I’ve also received and accepted an invitation to a debate hosted by ABC on Tuesday, September 10th. Trump says he’ll arrange his own transportation. I’ll bring my plane, too. I plan on keeping it for another four years.”

Biden’s been goading Trump up for a while. remember when Joe called Donny a “sick fuck”?

The president has described Trump to longtime friends and close aides as a “sick fuck” who delights in others’ misfortunes, according to three people who have heard the president use the profane description. According to one of the people who has spoken with the president, Biden recently said of Trump: “What a fucking asshole the guy is.”

Biden’s going to spend the next month winding Trump up so tightly that as soon as the cameras start rolling on June 27, Donny will melt down on live TV.

Dealing with Trump is actually easy. He’s not normal. So you don’t treat him as normal. You treat him like the nut job he actually is. But you do it with humor.

He won’t be able to handle it. He’s a narcissistic sociopath. He will make Captain Queeg and Colonel Jessup look like pikers. And it will be glorious to watch.

but will Trump actually show up to debate? the Shallow State, a twitter account run by the mental health professionals at Duty to Warn, makes a compelling case for Trump bailing.

“For those of you wondering how it’s possible that Trump and his team actually agreed to a debate without a live audience AND with a mic cut when a candidate goes over time, yes - you’re right that he would never agree to that. And the reason they did, is so simple: BECAUSE TRUMP’S TEAM KNOWS THEY WILL NOT DEBATE. This is a narrative. Trumpian misdirection. He agrees to it now. But then he backs away for some contrived grievance-based cause, saying it would have been rigged, and it’ll sound plausible to his moron fans. Once again: He won’t debate because he can’t debate. He’s too far gone.”

naturally, The New York Time was first out of the gate with a completely-in-the-tank-for-Trump spin.

“News Analysis: The Biden campaign’s push for an early debate amounted to a public acknowledgment that the president is trailing in his re-election bid, and a bet that an accelerated timeline will force voters to confront the possibility of Donald Trump returning to power.”

that’s right, Sleepy Joe wants to debate because he’s old and icky and no one likes him and he knows he’s a loser.

ace job, Little Lord Sulzberger.

as for Donny, he phoned into Hugh Hewitt’s show yesterday. Hugh asked him about the debates, and check out Trump’s totally bonkers answer.

“you know water. I had a deal for water, to come down from the north. they have so much water. and they don’t do it because they’re trying to protect a tiny tiny little fish that hasn’t made it, and millions and millions of gallons of water are sent into the Pacific Ocean, routed right into the Pacific, instead of coming down throughout California. it’s so—”

holy shit. what? the late, great Hannibal Water. poor Hugh Hewitt, all he can do is cut Trump off and try to get him back on topic.

“I’ve got your statement. ‘I’m ready to go. the dates that are proposed are fine. anywhere, anytime, any place.’”

holy fuck, Donald Trump is deteriorating before our very eyes. the befuddled old dotard barely knows which end is up any more. how much worse will his dementia be by the first debate on June 27?

I can’t wait to find out.