Hunter Biden’s pardon has broken the media’s brains

isn’t there anything else going on in the world?

here’s a fun double standard to which the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press hold our political parties:

Democrats must walk a narrow ethical path, and never stray one inch from it. they’re expected to kowtow to every demand the media makes. Joe Biden is expected to run a letter-perfect presidency. Kamala Harris was expected to run a flawless campaign. the slightest deviation, and the media will blow it up into a weeks-long scandal.

Republicans, on the other hand, are given a free pass to do whatever the fuck they want. lie? no problem. cheat? go for it, homies. protect a sex-trafficking predator within their midst? hey, we wrote one strongly-worded editorial. what more can we do?

and then there’s that Very Special Boy himself, Little Donny Convict. he could literally tear the Constitution in pieces and use the shreds to wipe his ass, and the press would just shrug their shoulders. look, that’s just Donny being Donny. it’s just the way it is.

right now, the press is acting as if there were only one story worth covering: Joe Biden’s dastardly pardon of his son, Hunter.

check out yesterday’s The New York Times’ web site. every fucking story is about the pardon.

look how the Times edits the photo in this hit piece. they’ve turned it black and white and made it grainy. they’ve cropped it to make it look like surveillance footage — it’s a trick photo editors use when they want to make the subjects seem shady as fuck.

now here’s the photo, pre-fuckery.

gosh, is there anything else going on in the world that might merit a wall-to-wall response?

how about a christofascist SecDef nominee who is such an abusive misogynist that his own mother considers him an amoral dumpster fire? shouldn’t that generate an entire page of angry editorials?

how about an FBI director nominee who dabbles in conspiracies, and sees his job as inflicting revenge on Dear Leader’s perceived enemies? maybe just one or two angry op-eds, would that be too much to ask?

but no — it’s All Hunter Biden’s Pardon, All The Time.

presidents have a constitutional right to pardon anyone they want, for any reason at all — no questions asked. it’s the one singular way in which the founders gave presidents the power of a king.

so what’s Joe Biden’s crime in pardoning his son? according to the press, it’s this:

Joe Biden lied to us. he promised us he wouldn’t pardon Hunter. HE PROMISED!!!

yeah, Joe made that pledge half a year ago. gee, what fucking changed between then and now? did a fascist get elected president? did he name as his FBI director a perpetual motion retribution factory with an unhealthy obsession about persecuting Hunter Biden?

hey, I have a question for New York Times nepo-publisher AG Sulzberger: if you were president, and it was your son who was the target of a spite-fueled man-baby and his revenge-obsessed FBI director, how many microseconds would it take you to issue a pardon?

yeah, I thought so.

Nate Silver is cordially invited to fuck all the way off.

“Don’t vote for any Democrat in 2028 who doesn’t repudiate the pardon within 48 hours.”

seriously, Nate? this is where the bar is now? pardoning a son is worse than fascism?

I guess when you’re bankrolled by a democracy-hating gazillionaire crypto bro, that’s exactly where the bar is.

Jeffrey Toobin can go join Nate Silver in the magical land of Fuckoffistan.

I suppose that when, as Jeff Toobin did, you drop trou in the middle of a zoom call and start strumming the old penile banjo, you’re automatically an expert on where the ‘dishonor’ line is drawn.

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in a comment yesterday, I floated the idea that Joe Biden should issue as many pardons as he can to future targets of Donny’s Department of Retribution. know who agrees with me?

John Fucking Dean.

“Biden should keep going with his pardons: Trump, Jack Smith & team, Mueller & team, and a blanket pardon for all on Trump’s enemies list for any and all political statements before December 25, 2024! Merry Christmas:-). Take the wind out of retribution/revenge!”

Krazee Eyes Kash Patel has already compiled an enemies list, I kid you not. here are just a few of the targets.

Bill Barr (former attorney general under Trump)
Hillary Clinton (former secretary of state and presidential candidate)
James Comey (former FBI director)
Merrick Garland (attorney general under Biden)
Cassidy Hutchinson (aide to Trump chief of staff Mark Meadows)
Andrew McCabe (former FBI deputy director under Trump)
General Mark Milley, ret. (former chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff)
Robert Mueller (former FBI director, special counsel for Russiagate)

Joe should go through that list and hand out pardons like they’re party favors.

okay, maybe he can skip Bill Barr.

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here’s a not-a-all-batshit-insane threat issued by Donny Convict.

“Everybody is talking about the hostages who are being held so violently, inhumanely, and against the will of the entire World, in the Middle East - But it’s all talk, and no action! Please let this TRUTH serve to represent that if the hostages are not released prior to January 20, 2025, the date that I proudly assume Office as President of the United States, there will be ALL HELL TO PAY in the Middle East, and for those in charge who perpetrated these atrocities against Humanity. Those responsible will be hit harder than anybody has been hit in the long and storied History of the United States of America. RELEASE THE HOSTAGES NOW!”

well, isn’t that scary. if Hamas doesn’t release their hostages by inauguration day, Donny’s going to … what? because we’ve already dropped nukes on Japan, twice — so what does “be hit harder than anybody has been hit” mean? three nukes dropped onto Gaza?

look, we may have a bloodthirsty lunatic set to take the oath of office seven weeks from now — but at least we denied the presidency to the woman who couldn’t solve a thousand-year-old conflict in the Middle East, during the hundred days she was a candidate. so we’ve got that going for us.

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lastly, here’s a perfectly normal thing that the President-Elect of the United States posted on his failing app last night.

why? what kind of dementia-fueled narcissistic hallucination is this?

words fail me.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.