it's too bad substack doesn't allow for images in comments, because this is exactly what the 'heartbreaking: the worst person you know makes an excellent point" meme was made for.
also, fuck that greedy greedhead for saying that someone else is making too much money
You’re right Seth- we were just talking about that- then tada your post ‼️No wonder the BOSS is mad right…didn’t get his cut‼️Will anyone investigate how he made 2 billion dollars last year? Has any other President other than 45 - 47 made a ton…. 🤔
Jeff, Ill just say it plainly on the Iranian bullshit (because, fuck if I dont write about it constantly).
The Pentagon is running secret star-chamber (remember that movie? I do) hearings to shitcan trans troops — no transcripts, no public, no fucking record. Maj. Kara Corcoran led an infantry platoon in Afghanistan and got voted out five days short of her pension. her lawyer has lost 26 of 27 cases on a budget of eight goddamn dollars. and Pete Hegseth's entire strategic doctrine is "no more dudes in dresses." that's it. that's the fucking American military now.
Methinks he's just mad because his prior $1B cut maybe isn't enough???
And (INSERT THE WE THROW BACK OUR HEADS AND LAUGH MEME) I think it's pretty darn funny that the oil companies thought their "fealty" to the king would keep them from his rath.
Disingenuous performative BS on his part. He knows the price at the pump is a huge sore spot with his MAGA droolers but whose ham-handed bungling of foreign relations and closing of the Strait of Hormuz drove oil to over $100 barrel? Oil companies are among Shitler's and the GOP's biggest donors.
Dunce was also extremely pissed that the CEO of Chevron went on a Faux News Sunday show and didn’t give the Dear Leader full credit for saving the oil industry all by himself. What a true malignant narcissist Dunce is.
This is exactly what he promised them would happen when he asked them for $1B in campaign money in 2024. He's publicly wringing his hands because he knows he should pretend to care, and he's privately calling them for a cut of the take.
I remember boones farm....very fuzzily and not entirely clearly....and it usually involved a visit to the latrine after copious amounts of consumption.
Boone's Farm and Richard's Wild Irish Rose were popular in art school until most people upgraded to Amadeus. And Amadeus bottles made better candle holders.
Ahhhh. Boone's Farm Apple Wine! My first official drunk, circa 1967, followed by my first official hangover from hell! And what it does to one's plumbing... That stuff could be used for a colonoscopy clean out! 😉
If you like what you see above, please subscribe to my Substack for limericks, poems, song parodies and more! All hopefully bringing a smile to your face....
I'm beginning to think that he's so twisted he might actually have a little respect for some reporter that asks him "What the fuck is wrong with you???"
That reporter was probably politely smiling and nodding through his "speech" at the correspondents' dinner instead of walking out. This is her reward and I'm not sure it's as much respect as she deserves. Welcome to the Donnyverse.
Although it seems like a Herculean labor, fatfuck is managing to wrestle decline further every day. And not “Further” as in the banner across Kesey’s bus. I mean towards the inevitable when he appears with his makeup smeared, hair hanging down to his shoulders in back, and without pants.
So from this morning's headlines, I gather that Donny screamed at Jeannie for a while and then she left the WH with her lizard tail between her legs but still has her job. For now. Donald will probably stew a bit longer and then can her.
The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story, though. We're witnessing this madness and it's hard to believe. We have to make sure the Trump years aren't memory-holed because it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened.
"The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story... it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened."
Kind of like COVID never happened. Even though over a million people died (mostly confined to the unvaccinated once the vaccine was available), COVID was just another Democratic hoax, a mild cold. And anyone who did die should sue Fauci--just ask Rand Paul.
The next Democratic president cannot do what Obama did with Bush or Biden did with Trump. No "turning the page." He or she should instruct the new AG to immediately investigate this maladministration, and to prosecute where the law and the facts call for it. And THEN say the White House will have no further discussions with the DOJ about it.
he has 3 things on his calendar today, all closed to the press, then he flies to CA for a couple RNC things. Then to Las Vegas where he makes word-adjacent noises tomorrow b4 flying back to DC.
I tend to think of Pirro as just another distraction from the pedo criminal elect and the hidden Epstein-Trump-Maxwell child abuse and trafficking files, his complete economic incompetence and failures, the blatant firehouse of Trump corruption, and one of the worst examples of such corruption -immunity from IRS audits for Trump, the Trump crime family, and the Trump organization.
Even MAGA must stop and think "gee, if I took care of my tax responsibility under the law, why would I need immunity from audits and investigations?"
This news, like the Epstein-Trump-Maxwell files is a media afterthought -if even that. It should be front, center, and screamed from the rooftops, that this is just another corrupt and illegal scheme from the felon elect.
I agree with George here. I have more respect for Judge Box o Wine than I do for Sen Cornyn, also an attorney who had been AG of TX. She actually followed the law in this case, finally. Cornyn and his buddy Tillis REALLY folded like umbrellas when handed a worthless piece of paper wherein was the lie that there would not be a J6 slush fund. Blanche was passed out of committee and will likely be the next AG. But sure, let's be mad at her
Why indeed would Trump need immunity from audits and investigations if he paid taxes according to the laws? The Librul Commies hate him and they pay the fake news to smear his wonderful reputation? Because Joe Biden? Because Barack Hussein Obama?
Nothing to do with his past history, including the 34 felony convictions for tax fraud.
Capitol One cancels all of the Trump enterprise bank accounts for money laundering. Period. And that's it? This has to go to Congress for a formal investigation because the Justice Dept. is cozy with the crook.
No. MAGA thinks the IRS is out to get Trump and his Family. Just like they have always been out to get the "little guy". They want everyone to get away with cheating on taxes. . .including Trump & Family
I'll cry no tears for Judge Boxwine. Bitch knew from the get-go that she had no case, but got herself on national TV to viciously and joyously slander David Hearn The lies were self-evident to all sentient beings, which excludes trump. Only when visions of disbarrment, sanctions, or worse began to dance in her alcohol-addled noggin did Boxwine dismiss the charges late last Friday night.
Fuck her for breaking a shit-ton of legal ethics rules she swore to uphold. May Hearn sue her for every red cent she's worth and win.
To me it looked like he didn't make an effort to close it. He just left it, assuming someone else will clean up his mess. Someone seems to be changing his diapers & cleaning HIM up, so he's keeping in character (and we all think his character is undesirable)!
I enjoy your column, of course, but I especially like your memories of Claudia. In case you haven't thought of this, my husband and I keep all of our photos on a computer in the living room and use them as screen savers. We always see parts of our lives pop up on the screen. It even helped me be less mad at my father who died a while back. Claudia was lucky to have someone who loved her so much.
The photo of undead Stephen, angry-face KKKaroline, some dude I don’t recognize, and Stepford Natalie (she has the exact same look in every photo—methinks she is not human) says a lot about what it feels like in the Oval with DonOLD: it feels like a slow dying.
Seeing Claudia just now confirms I will be having a martini on my deck later today. 🍸🍸
Thanks for the reminder Claudia.
The reporter, Jake Traylor from MS Now (who Trump said nobody watches) is who the ignorant cuss called out yesterday in the oval. He is very good but it’s funny!!! Rumpy didn’t ask him if he ever smiles.
After Attorney ‘Boxwine’ left the oval yesterday there was a picture of a woman wheeling out two boxes and it was reported it was Pirro packing up but who knows.
Making my request to the stars above again today. ⭐️🌟
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
"Trump chastises oil companies for ‘making too much money’ from his Iran war"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/04/first-thing-trump-chastises-oil-companies-for-making-too-much-money-from-his-iran-war?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other
it's too bad substack doesn't allow for images in comments, because this is exactly what the 'heartbreaking: the worst person you know makes an excellent point" meme was made for.
also, fuck that greedy greedhead for saying that someone else is making too much money
HE's supposed to be the one grifting, not them! Always got to have a cut for the boss!
tony 'trump' soprano wants big oil to tell him 'where's my juice'?
Yeah, he definitely wants his "taste." Kick-up to the Big Man.
Seth, we both must have GREAT MINDS because we are thinking alike!
BRAVO sir!
It’s with everything Miselle- just follow the money trail and there’s a Trump or a Kushner somewhere close by, right… can’t wait till November ‼️
"A taste" "Everybody's got to eat" in mob parlance.
Have to "wet my beak".
Lol
You’re right Seth- we were just talking about that- then tada your post ‼️No wonder the BOSS is mad right…didn’t get his cut‼️Will anyone investigate how he made 2 billion dollars last year? Has any other President other than 45 - 47 made a ton…. 🤔
Jeff, Ill just say it plainly on the Iranian bullshit (because, fuck if I dont write about it constantly).
The Pentagon is running secret star-chamber (remember that movie? I do) hearings to shitcan trans troops — no transcripts, no public, no fucking record. Maj. Kara Corcoran led an infantry platoon in Afghanistan and got voted out five days short of her pension. her lawyer has lost 26 of 27 cases on a budget of eight goddamn dollars. and Pete Hegseth's entire strategic doctrine is "no more dudes in dresses." that's it. that's the fucking American military now.
https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-the-gate-the-strait-the-garden
Sorry, I am just SUPER pissed off today, probably more than Jeff is.
No Dudes in Dresses . . . from the guy with his own Pentagon Makeup Studio.
Right!!! A glam room at the Pentagon- imagine the old school men with brain and experience suddenly finding this out…. Oh my goodness ‼️
Heggie, the prince of pampering pricks!
Yes! Cripes let people be people and mind your own business!!! Can’t stand the attitudes of these a- holes!!!
Are there really that many transexuals in the Army? That seems like the last place you would go.
You’d think right🤔
Methinks he's just mad because his prior $1B cut maybe isn't enough???
And (INSERT THE WE THROW BACK OUR HEADS AND LAUGH MEME) I think it's pretty darn funny that the oil companies thought their "fealty" to the king would keep them from his rath.
ding ding ding
Appeasement never works. Ask Chamberlain.
The jerk has no shame.
Disingenuous performative BS on his part. He knows the price at the pump is a huge sore spot with his MAGA droolers but whose ham-handed bungling of foreign relations and closing of the Strait of Hormuz drove oil to over $100 barrel? Oil companies are among Shitler's and the GOP's biggest donors.
and he 'gave' them Venezuela
All that really means is that they failed to give him his cut.
He’s just angry that anyone is making money without giving him a bigger slice of the action
Dunce was also extremely pissed that the CEO of Chevron went on a Faux News Sunday show and didn’t give the Dear Leader full credit for saving the oil industry all by himself. What a true malignant narcissist Dunce is.
This is exactly what he promised them would happen when he asked them for $1B in campaign money in 2024. He's publicly wringing his hands because he knows he should pretend to care, and he's privately calling them for a cut of the take.
.aybe he wants them to renegotiate his "cut".
Maybe
What? The fossil fuel companies didn’t let “the boss” dip his beak!
Bwahahahaha!
"Trump chastises oil companies for ‘making too much money’ from his Iran war"
Gosh, sounds like something a radical leftist Socialist scum would say.....
Schmannity on Wonkette: “Judge Jeanine is being sent to a farm upstate. Boone’s Farm, to be exact.”
I remember boones farm....very fuzzily and not entirely clearly....and it usually involved a visit to the latrine after copious amounts of consumption.
It caused wicked hangovers, alright
Been there, done that, had the t-shirt.
Mad Dog 2020! WIne of the century!
All that awful stuff turned up during Operation Intercept.
Boone's Farm and Richard's Wild Irish Rose were popular in art school until most people upgraded to Amadeus. And Amadeus bottles made better candle holders.
Ahhhh. Boone's Farm Apple Wine! My first official drunk, circa 1967, followed by my first official hangover from hell! And what it does to one's plumbing... That stuff could be used for a colonoscopy clean out! 😉
Right up there with Tango.
Oh gods, not the Tango
Do you notice that women are decapitated in the Trump administration a lot quicker than the men?
But this couldn't happen to a nicer POS—female division.
I remember drinking that shit at a drive in movie and falling out of my truck trying to make it to the bathroom.
So funny. We all have memories of our misspent youths.
Just your youth? I still do stupid stuff, just slower.
Well, at some point one learns to drink responsibly. Stupid stuff still happens but at least one is sober.
or is happily sippin' and snoozin' at home in a recliner
Boone's Farm, MD 2020, Thunderbird... some all time gas station classics from my youth.
A hag with the last name of Pirro
Just proved she is worth less than zero,
She lies and deceives
But the court won't believe
Her blather, she's up there with Spiro!
Poor lady with the first name Jeanine
Couldn't lie and had to come clean
'Cause Donny don't like
When you steal his big bike
And this damn MAGA machine!
If you like what you see above, please subscribe to my Substack for limericks, poems, song parodies and more! All hopefully bringing a smile to your face....
A long one from yesterday, but still relevant:
He looked at the pool
As an ego boost tool
He hired an incompetent crony
To paint a liner
He said would be finer
But the reason was shallow and phony
Orange turd chose a hue
Called it American flag blue
That color was much too dark
It caused the water to warm
And grew an algae farm
That became the object of snark
Then the Park Service tried
Hydrogen peroxide
In order to clear the scum
Another bad decision
And lack of precision
From the regime that excels in dumb
As the liner then peeled
Dumb DonOld squealed
That it was because of vandals
He can never admit
His ideas are shit
That's why he has so many scandals
Fatfuck was enraged
So Pirro engaged
In an unjust legal action
She endeavored to charge
An onlooker at large
For paint liner chip extraction
Right from the start
The case fell apart
The accusation was clearly bogus
For her it was hard
She could be disbarred
For being a vindictive rogus
For adhering to fact
She now may be sacked
But for her that could be good
If she could just see
The truth of ETTD
And escape from the MAGA 'hood
It's always the same
In trump's chaos game
Nothing is ever his fault
He only excels
At lies and bad smells
Stealing and sexual assault
Man! That is really really really good!!!!
So's yours!
Battle of the poets!
that's a SLAM! :-)
You and Frosty have so much talent. If you guys were to publish, I'd buy. Seriously.
Damn.. that’s good
hit this one out of the park!
Thank you!
> reporter: “are you reconsidering her role?”
> Donny: “you don’t— you’re fake news. don’t ever talk again. you’re fake news, one of the worst in the business. fortunately, nobody watches you.”
She's toast.
If you call out his bullshit
And confront him with facts
He responds with insults
And personal attacks
He can't stand the truth
For him that's no fun
So that overgrown baby
Will turn tail and run
I'm beginning to think that he's so twisted he might actually have a little respect for some reporter that asks him "What the fuck is wrong with you???"
The only fake news in the room is the endless stream of BS pouring out of his mouth.
That reporter was probably politely smiling and nodding through his "speech" at the correspondents' dinner instead of walking out. This is her reward and I'm not sure it's as much respect as she deserves. Welcome to the Donnyverse.
Although it seems like a Herculean labor, fatfuck is managing to wrestle decline further every day. And not “Further” as in the banner across Kesey’s bus. I mean towards the inevitable when he appears with his makeup smeared, hair hanging down to his shoulders in back, and without pants.
Lol that conjured up a few images. Trump driving the bus. Holy crap.
I reckon that’s next from some AI image generating machine.
Doesn't he gave a body double somewhere?
he tried to hire Thor as his body double, but Odin wasn't having it
I say .20 Scaramuccis till she gets the sack. Which coincidentally would be her BAC!
So from this morning's headlines, I gather that Donny screamed at Jeannie for a while and then she left the WH with her lizard tail between her legs but still has her job. For now. Donald will probably stew a bit longer and then can her.
The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story, though. We're witnessing this madness and it's hard to believe. We have to make sure the Trump years aren't memory-holed because it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened.
"The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story... it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened."
Kind of like COVID never happened. Even though over a million people died (mostly confined to the unvaccinated once the vaccine was available), COVID was just another Democratic hoax, a mild cold. And anyone who did die should sue Fauci--just ask Rand Paul.
My God, does Rand Paul ever wash his hair? It's disgusting.
That is "product" to make him look like a teenager. If he did not use product it would be a few oily strand plastered on his noggin!
Ugh!
You have exceptional observation! :)
I rest my case.
The next Democratic president cannot do what Obama did with Bush or Biden did with Trump. No "turning the page." He or she should instruct the new AG to immediately investigate this maladministration, and to prosecute where the law and the facts call for it. And THEN say the White House will have no further discussions with the DOJ about it.
I'm hoping that she goes back to Fuxed News so she can show that wuss Jesse Watters what having testosterone looks like
They won't have her back. She is a big part of their settlement with Dominion Voting.
That should send her stumbling over to Tuckems. Two has-been peas in a pod.
he has 3 things on his calendar today, all closed to the press, then he flies to CA for a couple RNC things. Then to Las Vegas where he makes word-adjacent noises tomorrow b4 flying back to DC.
As always -thank you Jeff.
I tend to think of Pirro as just another distraction from the pedo criminal elect and the hidden Epstein-Trump-Maxwell child abuse and trafficking files, his complete economic incompetence and failures, the blatant firehouse of Trump corruption, and one of the worst examples of such corruption -immunity from IRS audits for Trump, the Trump crime family, and the Trump organization.
Even MAGA must stop and think "gee, if I took care of my tax responsibility under the law, why would I need immunity from audits and investigations?"
This news, like the Epstein-Trump-Maxwell files is a media afterthought -if even that. It should be front, center, and screamed from the rooftops, that this is just another corrupt and illegal scheme from the felon elect.
I agree with George here. I have more respect for Judge Box o Wine than I do for Sen Cornyn, also an attorney who had been AG of TX. She actually followed the law in this case, finally. Cornyn and his buddy Tillis REALLY folded like umbrellas when handed a worthless piece of paper wherein was the lie that there would not be a J6 slush fund. Blanche was passed out of committee and will likely be the next AG. But sure, let's be mad at her
Why indeed would Trump need immunity from audits and investigations if he paid taxes according to the laws? The Librul Commies hate him and they pay the fake news to smear his wonderful reputation? Because Joe Biden? Because Barack Hussein Obama?
Nothing to do with his past history, including the 34 felony convictions for tax fraud.
Capitol One cancels all of the Trump enterprise bank accounts for money laundering. Period. And that's it? This has to go to Congress for a formal investigation because the Justice Dept. is cozy with the crook.
Shouldn't this be a bigger deal?
It is now Obuma. It could have been a misprint, but I doubt it severely!
Hussein Obama!
No. MAGA thinks the IRS is out to get Trump and his Family. Just like they have always been out to get the "little guy". They want everyone to get away with cheating on taxes. . .including Trump & Family
I'll cry no tears for Judge Boxwine. Bitch knew from the get-go that she had no case, but got herself on national TV to viciously and joyously slander David Hearn The lies were self-evident to all sentient beings, which excludes trump. Only when visions of disbarrment, sanctions, or worse began to dance in her alcohol-addled noggin did Boxwine dismiss the charges late last Friday night.
Fuck her for breaking a shit-ton of legal ethics rules she swore to uphold. May Hearn sue her for every red cent she's worth and win.
So much shit….(that’s all I have to say for today!).
Says it all, anyhow.
The Umbrella GIF was freakin excellent !!
To me it looked like he didn't make an effort to close it. He just left it, assuming someone else will clean up his mess. Someone seems to be changing his diapers & cleaning HIM up, so he's keeping in character (and we all think his character is undesirable)!
I totes saw it in my mind the first I heard that he said that about her. 😆
Wow, those freakishly small hands are doing the accordion thing so furiously that they actually generate windmill energy. He hates windmills.
Now I want to see that GIF of the guy that was sitting behind Trump in the speech last week mimicking him!
That was wonderful. I wonder if he was later arrested?
I enjoy your column, of course, but I especially like your memories of Claudia. In case you haven't thought of this, my husband and I keep all of our photos on a computer in the living room and use them as screen savers. We always see parts of our lives pop up on the screen. It even helped me be less mad at my father who died a while back. Claudia was lucky to have someone who loved her so much.
Kinda hard to feel any sympathy for Pirro, though, isn't it?
The photo of undead Stephen, angry-face KKKaroline, some dude I don’t recognize, and Stepford Natalie (she has the exact same look in every photo—methinks she is not human) says a lot about what it feels like in the Oval with DonOLD: it feels like a slow dying.
Too damned slow IMHO!
Yes. I agree. But I meant them. Working there is a slow dying. As for their boss, please! Post haste!
Seeing Claudia just now confirms I will be having a martini on my deck later today. 🍸🍸
Thanks for the reminder Claudia.
The reporter, Jake Traylor from MS Now (who Trump said nobody watches) is who the ignorant cuss called out yesterday in the oval. He is very good but it’s funny!!! Rumpy didn’t ask him if he ever smiles.
After Attorney ‘Boxwine’ left the oval yesterday there was a picture of a woman wheeling out two boxes and it was reported it was Pirro packing up but who knows.
Making my request to the stars above again today. ⭐️🌟
I love how she makes it a meal by having three olives.
I usually have 2 blue cheese olives. Today I am going to have 3. 💞💞💞
Ooooh, extra protein. Lovely.