it's too bad substack doesn't allow for images in comments, because this is exactly what the 'heartbreaking: the worst person you know makes an excellent point" meme was made for.
also, fuck that greedy greedhead for saying that someone else is making too much money
You’re right Seth- we were just talking about that- then tada your post ‼️No wonder the BOSS is mad right…didn’t get his cut‼️Will anyone investigate how he made 2 billion dollars last year? Has any other President other than 45 - 47 made a ton…. 🤔
Jeff, Ill just say it plainly on the Iranian bullshit (because, fuck if I dont write about it constantly).
The Pentagon is running secret star-chamber (remember that movie? I do) hearings to shitcan trans troops — no transcripts, no public, no fucking record. Maj. Kara Corcoran led an infantry platoon in Afghanistan and got voted out five days short of her pension. her lawyer has lost 26 of 27 cases on a budget of eight goddamn dollars. and Pete Hegseth's entire strategic doctrine is "no more dudes in dresses." that's it. that's the fucking American military now.
Is he gay? Not that it would be a problem, of course. It's just that all that looks-maxxed testosterone-obsessed bellowing and swaggering just pegs the Gaydar alarm out to 11. Asking for a friend.
Here's the thing that escapes their notice, for some reason related to their toxic and willful stupidity: their homophobia, taken to extremes designed to hurt actual people, sets them up as targets. We get positively snippy, then.
I never saw supposedly straight men so obsessed with looks and makeup until this crowd. Is it that they are so obsessed with the shallow, superficial aspects of life that they obsess over their image in the mirror? Or is it ego?
Or is it as my congresswoman Becca Balint speculated- closeted homoeroticism?
I would say the good congresswoman brings some inside expertise to the table here. If I were to pursue this, and I am most definitely not, the next question would be is Petey a bottom or top. But I'm not asking. Nope.
I'm glad I have a trans daughter since they won't want her in a draft situation (God forbid). Such an evil bunch of fucks. I hope they get reinstated when all this shut is over. Ugh.
He'll have transgender daughters defending the Fuhrerbunker during the last days of Berlin... errr Washington.... along with old men and pre-teen boys.
Methinks he's just mad because his prior $1B cut maybe isn't enough???
And (INSERT THE WE THROW BACK OUR HEADS AND LAUGH MEME) I think it's pretty darn funny that the oil companies thought their "fealty" to the king would keep them from his rath.
Dunce was also extremely pissed that the CEO of Chevron went on a Faux News Sunday show and didn’t give the Dear Leader full credit for saving the oil industry all by himself. What a true malignant narcissist Dunce is.
Disingenuous performative BS on his part. He knows the price at the pump is a huge sore spot with his MAGA droolers but whose ham-handed bungling of foreign relations and closing of the Strait of Hormuz drove oil to over $100 barrel? Oil companies are among Shitler's and the GOP's biggest donors.
This is exactly what he promised them would happen when he asked them for $1B in campaign money in 2024. He's publicly wringing his hands because he knows he should pretend to care, and he's privately calling them for a cut of the take.
I’m a musician and worked for a narcissistic for like 18 years. Did it because it was a pretty cool gig doing concerts all over the world working with some of the best musicians alive playing arenas and large theaters. I lasted 18 years. If my wife had been doing my job, she would have quite after exactly one week of taking my bosses bullshit. Different priorities. Although, it’s soooo nice not being a sycophant anymore.
I remember boones farm....very fuzzily and not entirely clearly....and it usually involved a visit to the latrine after copious amounts of consumption.
Ahhhh. Boone's Farm Apple Wine! My first official drunk, circa 1967, followed by my first official hangover from hell! And what it does to one's plumbing... That stuff could be used for a colonoscopy clean out! 😉
Too funny! I remember that wine. And I just had my third colonoscopy this morning (I’m 71). The prep liquid tastes terrible! When is some genius GI doc going to invent one that tastes like, well, Boone’s Farm Apple Wine or at least apple juice instead of a mixture of seawater and used dishwater. It was all I could do not to 🤮 !
Boone's Farm and Richard's Wild Irish Rose were popular in art school until most people upgraded to Amadeus. And Amadeus bottles made better candle holders.
Ok, remember the distinctive round shape of Mateus bottles? So, they have that same shape bottles in Wurzberg, and our guide told us it’s a throwback to the days when wine was sold in bull scrote botas. I don’t know what to think!
That was a little higher on the hog. Almaden means “mercury” in Spanish, because you need it to precipitate gold. They mined it in New Almaden south of San Jose; the Guadalupe creek is still contaminated with it 180 years after the gold rush. Anyhow, they did lots of cheap white wine out here, though they’ve gotten better at it. Townhouses are a better crop than grapes.
Mad Dog was also MY first major drunk, in college, age 18. I was barfing up shit that my ANCESTORS ate, I swear.
But let's not forget Thunderbird or Night Train. When my Dad's one friend who owned a drive-thru ended up in the hospital, Dad decided to help him out part-time. Dad said he had NO IDEA how much of that shit he sold to old winos who staggered in off the street....& finished the bottles before even getting to the SIDEWALK! 😵😵💫
After my foster sister's boyfriend hung himself, she & I went out & bought a bottle of screwdriver, & one of cherry vodka. She started w/ one, I started w/ the other, & at some point, we switched bottles.
I didn't drink NEARLY as much as she did. I was dizzy....but she ended up redecorating the bathroom, several times.
When my folks got home, she was passed out in bed. I was in bed, covered up to my nose, claiming to have a headache & stomach ache. Dad KNEW better....& decided I needed a hefty dose of PEPTO BISMAL.
That’s dedication! No wonder the urbanist liquor sto’ I know has large emphatic signs about no boozing I’m the parking lot (with the particular El Cerrito law against hanging out in a parking lot and guzzling underscored in black.) Being a wino was a craft in those days. Gone are the 3 for a dollar fight and fright theaters, where the clientele would scratch their bedbug bites and snore, an that thunderous sound as an empty Gallo port bottle would roll to the bottom of the screen. Forgive me if I tear up a little.
Graduation night. 1971. A Boones Farm blotto and such a hangover 😵 OMG 😱 🤮 Couldn’t remember what we did but it involved somebody’s mom’s red velvet cake. Holy shit that was nasty! We ruled the night! 🤣🤣🤣
If you like what you see above, please subscribe to my Substack for limericks, poems, song parodies and more! All hopefully bringing a smile to your face....
So from this morning's headlines, I gather that Donny screamed at Jeannie for a while and then she left the WH with her lizard tail between her legs but still has her job. For now. Donald will probably stew a bit longer and then can her.
The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story, though. We're witnessing this madness and it's hard to believe. We have to make sure the Trump years aren't memory-holed because it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened.
"The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story... it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened."
Kind of like COVID never happened. Even though over a million people died (mostly confined to the unvaccinated once the vaccine was available), COVID was just another Democratic hoax, a mild cold. And anyone who did die should sue Fauci--just ask Rand Paul.
The next Democratic president cannot do what Obama did with Bush or Biden did with Trump. No "turning the page." He or she should instruct the new AG to immediately investigate this maladministration, and to prosecute where the law and the facts call for it. And THEN say the White House will have no further discussions with the DOJ about it.
If the Dems remain as cowardly as they have in the past I will permanently give up. Dems need to read. THE ART OF WAR. THEY-ARE PUDS. THAT IS WHY WE HAVE LOST EVERYTHING.
Fun fact: the USAG doesn't have to hold a bar card, or even to have attended law school. Put someone like Malcolm Nance in there and watch the heads roll.
he has 3 things on his calendar today, all closed to the press, then he flies to CA for a couple RNC things. Then to Las Vegas where he makes word-adjacent noises tomorrow b4 flying back to DC.
I'll cry no tears for Judge Boxwine. Bitch knew from the get-go that she had no case, but got herself on national TV to viciously and joyously slander David Hearn The lies were self-evident to all sentient beings, which excludes trump. Only when visions of disbarrment, sanctions, or worse began to dance in her alcohol-addled noggin did Boxwine dismiss the charges late last Friday night.
Fuck her for breaking a shit-ton of legal ethics rules she swore to uphold. May Hearn sue her for every red cent she's worth and win.
I'm beginning to think that he's so twisted he might actually have a little respect for some reporter that asks him "What the fuck is wrong with you???"
Jayme you are so correct. The only way to deal with corrupt bullies is with BIG comeback. Bullies are babies. You don’t coddle cow or attempt to please. Full force. And enjoy it.
Trump should have been jailed when he arranged an insurrection against our country. I burn deeply on this and despise those who were elected and on charge and only sat on their butts as our cops and armed forces were beaten and left to be crucified.
That reporter was probably politely smiling and nodding through his "speech" at the correspondents' dinner instead of walking out. This is her reward and I'm not sure it's as much respect as she deserves. Welcome to the Donnyverse.
Yeah--that's his tell, when someone brings up whatever has given him his latest Big Mad. Like a toddler having a fit because Mom or Dad won't give him another piece of candy: "NO! You poopy-head! Gimme!"
Although it seems like a Herculean labor, fatfuck is managing to wrestle decline further every day. And not “Further” as in the banner across Kesey’s bus. I mean towards the inevitable when he appears with his makeup smeared, hair hanging down to his shoulders in back, and without pants.
I’m sure he has a valet to make sure he has pants on, a clean shirt, and that his socks match and don’t have holes. And his diaper attendant makes sure he’s wearing a fresh diaper.
I tend to think of Pirro as just another distraction from the pedo criminal elect and the hidden Epstein-Trump-Maxwell child abuse and trafficking files, his complete economic incompetence and failures, the blatant firehouse of Trump corruption, and one of the worst examples of such corruption -immunity from IRS audits for Trump, the Trump crime family, and the Trump organization.
Even MAGA must stop and think "gee, if I took care of my tax responsibility under the law, why would I need immunity from audits and investigations?"
This news, like the Epstein-Trump-Maxwell files is a media afterthought -if even that. It should be front, center, and screamed from the rooftops, that this is just another corrupt and illegal scheme from the felon elect.
I agree with George here. I have more respect for Judge Box o Wine than I do for Sen Cornyn, also an attorney who had been AG of TX. She actually followed the law in this case, finally. Cornyn and his buddy Tillis REALLY folded like umbrellas when handed a worthless piece of paper wherein was the lie that there would not be a J6 slush fund. Blanche was passed out of committee and will likely be the next AG. But sure, let's be mad at her
Why indeed would Trump need immunity from audits and investigations if he paid taxes according to the laws? The Librul Commies hate him and they pay the fake news to smear his wonderful reputation? Because Joe Biden? Because Barack Hussein Obama?
Nothing to do with his past history, including the 34 felony convictions for tax fraud.
Capitol One cancels all of the Trump enterprise bank accounts for money laundering. Period. And that's it? This has to go to Congress for a formal investigation because the Justice Dept. is cozy with the crook.
No. MAGA thinks the IRS is out to get Trump and his Family. Just like they have always been out to get the "little guy". They want everyone to get away with cheating on taxes. . .including Trump & Family
To me it looked like he didn't make an effort to close it. He just left it, assuming someone else will clean up his mess. Someone seems to be changing his diapers & cleaning HIM up, so he's keeping in character (and we all think his character is undesirable)!
I know that was the most disgusting "Im a prima donna" move. I despise people like that who have so much privilege that they dont even have to wipe their own butt. Sorry for being vulgar.
The photo of undead Stephen, angry-face KKKaroline, some dude I don’t recognize, and Stepford Natalie (she has the exact same look in every photo—methinks she is not human) says a lot about what it feels like in the Oval with DonOLD: it feels like a slow dying.
I enjoy your column, of course, but I especially like your memories of Claudia. In case you haven't thought of this, my husband and I keep all of our photos on a computer in the living room and use them as screen savers. We always see parts of our lives pop up on the screen. It even helped me be less mad at my father who died a while back. Claudia was lucky to have someone who loved her so much.
Jeff. As usual one column is worth the entire price of the subscription. I’m referring to your genius in finding that clip of Trump trying and failing to close the umbrella. Also, if you will permit me: your photos of Claudia show me that you both had a wonderful, fun filled and fulfilling life. I hope, in time, those memories will console you. We send our love.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
"Trump chastises oil companies for ‘making too much money’ from his Iran war"
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/04/first-thing-trump-chastises-oil-companies-for-making-too-much-money-from-his-iran-war?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other
it's too bad substack doesn't allow for images in comments, because this is exactly what the 'heartbreaking: the worst person you know makes an excellent point" meme was made for.
also, fuck that greedy greedhead for saying that someone else is making too much money
HE's supposed to be the one grifting, not them! Always got to have a cut for the boss!
tony 'trump' soprano wants big oil to tell him 'where's my juice'?
Yeah, he definitely wants his "taste." Kick-up to the Big Man.
He just wants to wet his beak
Not unlike Fanucci.
Hey, yo. A little zitti ona trash truck, dis whoooole thing goes away. Nomesayin'?
Seth, we both must have GREAT MINDS because we are thinking alike!
BRAVO sir!
It’s with everything Miselle- just follow the money trail and there’s a Trump or a Kushner somewhere close by, right… can’t wait till November ‼️
⬆️🎯
"A taste" "Everybody's got to eat" in mob parlance.
Have to "wet my beak".
Lol
Godfather ll 👍
You’re right Seth- we were just talking about that- then tada your post ‼️No wonder the BOSS is mad right…didn’t get his cut‼️Will anyone investigate how he made 2 billion dollars last year? Has any other President other than 45 - 47 made a ton…. 🤔
I’m sure they are “donating” liberally to his PAC
Jeff, Ill just say it plainly on the Iranian bullshit (because, fuck if I dont write about it constantly).
The Pentagon is running secret star-chamber (remember that movie? I do) hearings to shitcan trans troops — no transcripts, no public, no fucking record. Maj. Kara Corcoran led an infantry platoon in Afghanistan and got voted out five days short of her pension. her lawyer has lost 26 of 27 cases on a budget of eight goddamn dollars. and Pete Hegseth's entire strategic doctrine is "no more dudes in dresses." that's it. that's the fucking American military now.
https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-the-gate-the-strait-the-garden
Sorry, I am just SUPER pissed off today, probably more than Jeff is.
No Dudes in Dresses . . . from the guy with his own Pentagon Makeup Studio.
Heggie, the prince of pampering pricks!
After they do his makeup he prances around the room singing, “I feel pretty, oh so pretty”
"See the fascist guy in that mirror there . . . "
What Congress? Where. . . .?
Is he gay? Not that it would be a problem, of course. It's just that all that looks-maxxed testosterone-obsessed bellowing and swaggering just pegs the Gaydar alarm out to 11. Asking for a friend.
Operative phrase being "pegs."
Day-um!! Shots fired!!!
Well done.
Yes! Cripes let people be people and mind your own business!!! Can’t stand the attitudes of these a- holes!!!
Here's the thing that escapes their notice, for some reason related to their toxic and willful stupidity: their homophobia, taken to extremes designed to hurt actual people, sets them up as targets. We get positively snippy, then.
Right!!! A glam room at the Pentagon- imagine the old school men with brain and experience suddenly finding this out…. Oh my goodness ‼️
Wouldn't you love to be able to transport General Patton to the Pentagon for just a ten-minute tour?
Oh my goodness Joyce- to see their faces and hear them tell others‼️Priceless ‼️
I never saw supposedly straight men so obsessed with looks and makeup until this crowd. Is it that they are so obsessed with the shallow, superficial aspects of life that they obsess over their image in the mirror? Or is it ego?
Or is it as my congresswoman Becca Balint speculated- closeted homoeroticism?
It’s a true head shaker Nancy!
Closeted homoeroticism. As in, latent homosexuality. All of them.
Wellll, I'm not sayin', but I'm just sayin'...
https://www.them.us/politics/pete-hegseth-testosterone-macho
I would say the good congresswoman brings some inside expertise to the table here. If I were to pursue this, and I am most definitely not, the next question would be is Petey a bottom or top. But I'm not asking. Nope.
I would go with all three.
And, so it seems, his own oil pipeline through the Strait, so he can maintain that deep fryer look on his head.
He's jealous. And probably self injecting the testosterone trying to hide who he really is.
Are there really that many transexuals in the Army? That seems like the last place you would go.
Friend-the term is ‘transgender’ ✌️
Thank you ChrisB. I have tried to educate rlritt a few times.
I'm glad I have a trans daughter since they won't want her in a draft situation (God forbid). Such an evil bunch of fucks. I hope they get reinstated when all this shut is over. Ugh.
He'll have transgender daughters defending the Fuhrerbunker during the last days of Berlin... errr Washington.... along with old men and pre-teen boys.
Right on.
You would be surprised, I assure you.
Im already surprised.
You’d think right🤔
Methinks he's just mad because his prior $1B cut maybe isn't enough???
And (INSERT THE WE THROW BACK OUR HEADS AND LAUGH MEME) I think it's pretty darn funny that the oil companies thought their "fealty" to the king would keep them from his rath.
Appeasement never works. Ask Chamberlain.
⬆️🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯‼️‼️‼️
ding ding ding
The jerk has no shame.
He’s just angry that anyone is making money without giving him a bigger slice of the action
All that really means is that they failed to give him his cut.
Yep. Said the same thing.
Dunce was also extremely pissed that the CEO of Chevron went on a Faux News Sunday show and didn’t give the Dear Leader full credit for saving the oil industry all by himself. What a true malignant narcissist Dunce is.
Oil companies ‘making too much money’ is Donnyspeak for ‘skim 10% off the top of that shit and send it to World Liberty Financial pronto!’
Disingenuous performative BS on his part. He knows the price at the pump is a huge sore spot with his MAGA droolers but whose ham-handed bungling of foreign relations and closing of the Strait of Hormuz drove oil to over $100 barrel? Oil companies are among Shitler's and the GOP's biggest donors.
and he 'gave' them Venezuela
This is exactly what he promised them would happen when he asked them for $1B in campaign money in 2024. He's publicly wringing his hands because he knows he should pretend to care, and he's privately calling them for a cut of the take.
Maybe he wants them to renegotiate his "cut".
Maybe
What? The fossil fuel companies didn’t let “the boss” dip his beak!
Is he implying it’s the oil companies war?
"Trump chastises oil companies for ‘making too much money’ from his Iran war"
Gosh, sounds like something a radical leftist Socialist scum would say.....
Bwahahahaha!
Bc it’s ‘cute’…*smirk*
Are his ppl still buying it…
Schmannity on Wonkette: “Judge Jeanine is being sent to a farm upstate. Boone’s Farm, to be exact.”
Do you notice that women are decapitated in the Trump administration a lot quicker than the men?
But this couldn't happen to a nicer POS—female division.
He does seem to reassign the males, whereas he dismisses the females.
Can't say I'm not surprised!
Well he did reassign Kristi Noem...
Say, does anyone remember Kristi Noem?
You're right, what was it now, oh yah, The Shield of America?!?
WTF is that?
I’m a musician and worked for a narcissistic for like 18 years. Did it because it was a pretty cool gig doing concerts all over the world working with some of the best musicians alive playing arenas and large theaters. I lasted 18 years. If my wife had been doing my job, she would have quite after exactly one week of taking my bosses bullshit. Different priorities. Although, it’s soooo nice not being a sycophant anymore.
I worked for a narcissistic psycho-boss for exactly 2 years. He was a creep. I got him fired. Sweet Jesus that was an immense satisfaction.
Two months later I quit. I said, “fuck this company who hired that asshole.” It was a toxic environment. That was 2013. Never looked back.
The administration started with 16 men and eight women in cabinet level positions, now there are 20 men and four women.
well, when you have men who, if they are honest, dispute the right of women to vote, they have reached a new level of misogyny
I remember boones farm....very fuzzily and not entirely clearly....and it usually involved a visit to the latrine after copious amounts of consumption.
It caused wicked hangovers, alright
Been there, done that, had the t-shirt.
Ahhhh. Boone's Farm Apple Wine! My first official drunk, circa 1967, followed by my first official hangover from hell! And what it does to one's plumbing... That stuff could be used for a colonoscopy clean out! 😉
Too funny! I remember that wine. And I just had my third colonoscopy this morning (I’m 71). The prep liquid tastes terrible! When is some genius GI doc going to invent one that tastes like, well, Boone’s Farm Apple Wine or at least apple juice instead of a mixture of seawater and used dishwater. It was all I could do not to 🤮 !
For me it was Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill. Like Kool Aid
Boone's Farm and Richard's Wild Irish Rose were popular in art school until most people upgraded to Amadeus. And Amadeus bottles made better candle holders.
I think you meant Mateus. The best candle holder on the wooden spool table.
Lancers was another bad wine and good candle holder.
Ok, remember the distinctive round shape of Mateus bottles? So, they have that same shape bottles in Wurzberg, and our guide told us it’s a throwback to the days when wine was sold in bull scrote botas. I don’t know what to think!
Oh my, I did mean Mateus! I got Mozart mixed up with my wines. Thanks for the correction! Ah, nostalgia.
I just remembered—there was also one called Almaden that came in a nice pale green bottle.
That was a little higher on the hog. Almaden means “mercury” in Spanish, because you need it to precipitate gold. They mined it in New Almaden south of San Jose; the Guadalupe creek is still contaminated with it 180 years after the gold rush. Anyhow, they did lots of cheap white wine out here, though they’ve gotten better at it. Townhouses are a better crop than grapes.
I haven’t thought of those wines in decades!! David preferred Gallo Hearty Burgundy. Took me 40 years to develop a taste for real red wine!
And my favorite...♫Riunite on ice, Riunite so nice!♫
Mad Dog 2020! WIne of the century!
All that awful stuff turned up during Operation Intercept.
MD20-20
so much bad wine
so little time!
Mad Dog was also MY first major drunk, in college, age 18. I was barfing up shit that my ANCESTORS ate, I swear.
But let's not forget Thunderbird or Night Train. When my Dad's one friend who owned a drive-thru ended up in the hospital, Dad decided to help him out part-time. Dad said he had NO IDEA how much of that shit he sold to old winos who staggered in off the street....& finished the bottles before even getting to the SIDEWALK! 😵😵💫
I DID get *kinda* drunk my Sr yr in HS.
After my foster sister's boyfriend hung himself, she & I went out & bought a bottle of screwdriver, & one of cherry vodka. She started w/ one, I started w/ the other, & at some point, we switched bottles.
I didn't drink NEARLY as much as she did. I was dizzy....but she ended up redecorating the bathroom, several times.
When my folks got home, she was passed out in bed. I was in bed, covered up to my nose, claiming to have a headache & stomach ache. Dad KNEW better....& decided I needed a hefty dose of PEPTO BISMAL.
Yep....THAT did it! All damned night long. 🤮🤮🤮
That’s dedication! No wonder the urbanist liquor sto’ I know has large emphatic signs about no boozing I’m the parking lot (with the particular El Cerrito law against hanging out in a parking lot and guzzling underscored in black.) Being a wino was a craft in those days. Gone are the 3 for a dollar fight and fright theaters, where the clientele would scratch their bedbug bites and snore, an that thunderous sound as an empty Gallo port bottle would roll to the bottom of the screen. Forgive me if I tear up a little.
Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, loved by naughty middle-schoolers across the US
Like Annie Green Springs, it was marketed to teens. The Nat Lamp Radio Hourc did a hilarious commercial for “Mother Goose Wine.”
Boone’s Farm was so sweet! I had many hangovers from drinking that crap.
Graduation night. 1971. A Boones Farm blotto and such a hangover 😵 OMG 😱 🤮 Couldn’t remember what we did but it involved somebody’s mom’s red velvet cake. Holy shit that was nasty! We ruled the night! 🤣🤣🤣
Don't forget Annie Green Springs
Right up there with Tango.
Oh gods, not the Tango
I remember drinking that shit at a drive in movie and falling out of my truck trying to make it to the bathroom.
So funny. We all have memories of our misspent youths.
Just your youth? I still do stupid stuff, just slower.
Well, at some point one learns to drink responsibly. Stupid stuff still happens but at least one is sober.
or is happily sippin' and snoozin' at home in a recliner
Saves money, too!
I was young. My bones were still made of rubber.
Boone's Farm, MD 2020, Thunderbird... some all time gas station classics from my youth.
It was really impressive if it had a cork.
Brilliant
A hag with the last name of Pirro
Just proved she is worth less than zero,
She lies and deceives
But the court won't believe
Her blather, she's up there with Spiro!
Poor lady with the first name Jeanine
Couldn't lie and had to come clean
'Cause Donny don't like
When you steal his big bike
And this damn MAGA machine!
If you like what you see above, please subscribe to my Substack for limericks, poems, song parodies and more! All hopefully bringing a smile to your face....
A long one from yesterday, but still relevant:
He looked at the pool
As an ego boost tool
He hired an incompetent crony
To paint a liner
He said would be finer
But the reason was shallow and phony
Orange turd chose a hue
Called it American flag blue
That color was much too dark
It caused the water to warm
And grew an algae farm
That became the object of snark
Then the Park Service tried
Hydrogen peroxide
In order to clear the scum
Another bad decision
And lack of precision
From the regime that excels in dumb
As the liner then peeled
Dumb DonOld squealed
That it was because of vandals
He can never admit
His ideas are shit
That's why he has so many scandals
Fatfuck was enraged
So Pirro engaged
In an unjust legal action
She endeavored to charge
An onlooker at large
For paint liner chip extraction
Right from the start
The case fell apart
The accusation was clearly bogus
For her it was hard
She could be disbarred
For being a vindictive rogus
For adhering to fact
She now may be sacked
But for her that could be good
If she could just see
The truth of ETTD
And escape from the MAGA 'hood
It's always the same
In trump's chaos game
Nothing is ever his fault
He only excels
At lies and bad smells
Stealing and sexual assault
Man! That is really really really good!!!!
So's yours!
Thank you.
You and Frosty have so much talent. If you guys were to publish, I'd buy. Seriously.
Battle of the poets!
that's a SLAM! :-)
Damn.. that’s good
That was outstanding!!! 👏
hit this one out of the park!
Thank you!
So from this morning's headlines, I gather that Donny screamed at Jeannie for a while and then she left the WH with her lizard tail between her legs but still has her job. For now. Donald will probably stew a bit longer and then can her.
The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story, though. We're witnessing this madness and it's hard to believe. We have to make sure the Trump years aren't memory-holed because it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened.
"The prefrontal lobe meltdown is the real story... it's going to be all too easy for MAGA types to claim none of it ever happened."
Kind of like COVID never happened. Even though over a million people died (mostly confined to the unvaccinated once the vaccine was available), COVID was just another Democratic hoax, a mild cold. And anyone who did die should sue Fauci--just ask Rand Paul.
My God, does Rand Paul ever wash his hair? It's disgusting.
I thought it was a toupee he slapped on his head. Top doesn’t match the sides
That is "product" to make him look like a teenager. If he did not use product it would be a few oily strand plastered on his noggin!
Ugh!
He and Blanche use the same shampoo.
You have exceptional observation! :)
I rest my case.
Yeah its all Fauci's fault.
F*king crazy 🤪
The next Democratic president cannot do what Obama did with Bush or Biden did with Trump. No "turning the page." He or she should instruct the new AG to immediately investigate this maladministration, and to prosecute where the law and the facts call for it. And THEN say the White House will have no further discussions with the DOJ about it.
If the Dems remain as cowardly as they have in the past I will permanently give up. Dems need to read. THE ART OF WAR. THEY-ARE PUDS. THAT IS WHY WE HAVE LOST EVERYTHING.
Oh, but "when they go low, we go high", remember? I love MO, but good lord 🙄😒
Fun fact: the USAG doesn't have to hold a bar card, or even to have attended law school. Put someone like Malcolm Nance in there and watch the heads roll.
I'm hoping that she goes back to Fuxed News so she can show that wuss Jesse Watters what having testosterone looks like
They won't have her back. She is a big part of their settlement with Dominion Voting.
That should send her stumbling over to Tuckems. Two has-been peas in a pod.
Ahahahahahaha!!!
he has 3 things on his calendar today, all closed to the press, then he flies to CA for a couple RNC things. Then to Las Vegas where he makes word-adjacent noises tomorrow b4 flying back to DC.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/08/trump-reflecting-pool-irrationality/688180/?gift=xFHwB96eiHLjRHiwv84DJPIQm7M6WE0ySV86PxW5--w
Thanks. Not paywalled!
I'll cry no tears for Judge Boxwine. Bitch knew from the get-go that she had no case, but got herself on national TV to viciously and joyously slander David Hearn The lies were self-evident to all sentient beings, which excludes trump. Only when visions of disbarrment, sanctions, or worse began to dance in her alcohol-addled noggin did Boxwine dismiss the charges late last Friday night.
Fuck her for breaking a shit-ton of legal ethics rules she swore to uphold. May Hearn sue her for every red cent she's worth and win.
> reporter: “are you reconsidering her role?”
> Donny: “you don’t— you’re fake news. don’t ever talk again. you’re fake news, one of the worst in the business. fortunately, nobody watches you.”
She's toast.
If you call out his bullshit
And confront him with facts
He responds with insults
And personal attacks
He can't stand the truth
For him that's no fun
So that overgrown baby
Will turn tail and run
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Winner
I'm beginning to think that he's so twisted he might actually have a little respect for some reporter that asks him "What the fuck is wrong with you???"
Jayme you are so correct. The only way to deal with corrupt bullies is with BIG comeback. Bullies are babies. You don’t coddle cow or attempt to please. Full force. And enjoy it.
The only fake news in the room is the endless stream of BS pouring out of his mouth.
Trump should have been jailed when he arranged an insurrection against our country. I burn deeply on this and despise those who were elected and on charge and only sat on their butts as our cops and armed forces were beaten and left to be crucified.
100% with you on that.
Biden should have thrown him in jail the day after inauguration.
That reporter was probably politely smiling and nodding through his "speech" at the correspondents' dinner instead of walking out. This is her reward and I'm not sure it's as much respect as she deserves. Welcome to the Donnyverse.
Does he ever denigrate male reporters with, “You’re a terrible reporter!”
Yeah--that's his tell, when someone brings up whatever has given him his latest Big Mad. Like a toddler having a fit because Mom or Dad won't give him another piece of candy: "NO! You poopy-head! Gimme!"
Although it seems like a Herculean labor, fatfuck is managing to wrestle decline further every day. And not “Further” as in the banner across Kesey’s bus. I mean towards the inevitable when he appears with his makeup smeared, hair hanging down to his shoulders in back, and without pants.
Lol that conjured up a few images. Trump driving the bus. Holy crap.
I reckon that’s next from some AI image generating machine.
Yes…. Trump in big muscles and good hair‼️
Doesn't he have a body double somewhere?
he tried to hire Thor as his body double, but Odin wasn't having it
Yeah, right. Ha ha.
I’m sure he has a valet to make sure he has pants on, a clean shirt, and that his socks match and don’t have holes. And his diaper attendant makes sure he’s wearing a fresh diaper.
For now. Things change.
I say .20 Scaramuccis till she gets the sack. Which coincidentally would be her BAC!
As always -thank you Jeff.
I tend to think of Pirro as just another distraction from the pedo criminal elect and the hidden Epstein-Trump-Maxwell child abuse and trafficking files, his complete economic incompetence and failures, the blatant firehouse of Trump corruption, and one of the worst examples of such corruption -immunity from IRS audits for Trump, the Trump crime family, and the Trump organization.
Even MAGA must stop and think "gee, if I took care of my tax responsibility under the law, why would I need immunity from audits and investigations?"
This news, like the Epstein-Trump-Maxwell files is a media afterthought -if even that. It should be front, center, and screamed from the rooftops, that this is just another corrupt and illegal scheme from the felon elect.
I agree with George here. I have more respect for Judge Box o Wine than I do for Sen Cornyn, also an attorney who had been AG of TX. She actually followed the law in this case, finally. Cornyn and his buddy Tillis REALLY folded like umbrellas when handed a worthless piece of paper wherein was the lie that there would not be a J6 slush fund. Blanche was passed out of committee and will likely be the next AG. But sure, let's be mad at her
What made things worse if possible, Cornyn said that the Senate is basically dead in the water. https://youtube.com/shorts/fRNYmqoMJGk?si=593l0vjVPpc8j8C9
Somebody just shoot me now.
Why indeed would Trump need immunity from audits and investigations if he paid taxes according to the laws? The Librul Commies hate him and they pay the fake news to smear his wonderful reputation? Because Joe Biden? Because Barack Hussein Obama?
Nothing to do with his past history, including the 34 felony convictions for tax fraud.
Capitol One cancels all of the Trump enterprise bank accounts for money laundering. Period. And that's it? This has to go to Congress for a formal investigation because the Justice Dept. is cozy with the crook.
Shouldn't this be a bigger deal?
It is now Obuma. It could have been a misprint, but I doubt it severely!
You know that "bum" has a "b" in it? Not many people know that!
Hussein Obama!
He likes his nicknames ‼️
No. MAGA thinks the IRS is out to get Trump and his Family. Just like they have always been out to get the "little guy". They want everyone to get away with cheating on taxes. . .including Trump & Family
So true. And the fact that he’s appointed the Secretary of the Treasury and the head of the IRS are just more facts for the factose intolerant.
The Umbrella GIF was freakin excellent !!
To me it looked like he didn't make an effort to close it. He just left it, assuming someone else will clean up his mess. Someone seems to be changing his diapers & cleaning HIM up, so he's keeping in character (and we all think his character is undesirable)!
I know that was the most disgusting "Im a prima donna" move. I despise people like that who have so much privilege that they dont even have to wipe their own butt. Sorry for being vulgar.
I totes saw it in my mind the first I heard that he said that about her. 😆
He probably never had to close one himself before…. Pampered asswipe in Pampers!
So much shit….(that’s all I have to say for today!).
Says it all, anyhow.
Damn straight!
The photo of undead Stephen, angry-face KKKaroline, some dude I don’t recognize, and Stepford Natalie (she has the exact same look in every photo—methinks she is not human) says a lot about what it feels like in the Oval with DonOLD: it feels like a slow dying.
Too damned slow IMHO!
Yes. I agree. But I meant them. Working there is a slow dying. As for their boss, please! Post haste!
Except, they know how to manipulate him and are probably raking in the cash.
The Hatengers Assembled
Please shift into second gear soon‼️
I enjoy your column, of course, but I especially like your memories of Claudia. In case you haven't thought of this, my husband and I keep all of our photos on a computer in the living room and use them as screen savers. We always see parts of our lives pop up on the screen. It even helped me be less mad at my father who died a while back. Claudia was lucky to have someone who loved her so much.
Wow, those freakishly small hands are doing the accordion thing so furiously that they actually generate windmill energy. He hates windmills.
Now I want to see that GIF of the guy that was sitting behind Trump in the speech last week mimicking him!
That was wonderful. I wonder if he was later arrested?
That’s bound to be a classic soon- NOW that was funny!
Come on SNL!
That was wonderful!!
Jeff. As usual one column is worth the entire price of the subscription. I’m referring to your genius in finding that clip of Trump trying and failing to close the umbrella. Also, if you will permit me: your photos of Claudia show me that you both had a wonderful, fun filled and fulfilling life. I hope, in time, those memories will console you. We send our love.
Kinda hard to feel any sympathy for Pirro, though, isn't it?
No sympathy for Piro here.