how many scaramuccis until Jeanine Boxwine gets shitcanned?

let the Pirro Bites It countdown clock commence

US Attorney Jeanine Pirro is the latest member of the Donnyverse to find herself caught between an overfull diaper and a hard place. Dear Leader is super fucking pissed at her right now, and it seems a safe bet that she’ll soon be tossed onto the Great Shitpile of Discarded Flunkies.

yesterday, Preznit Fuckwit, surrounded by some emotional support humans, sat down behind his Big Boy Resolute Desk so he could sign his latest nonsensical and probably unconstitutional executive order about something something military spouses something — it doesn’t really matter all that much what it was, because the press didn’t want to talk about any of that shit. what they really wanted was Donny’s thoughts on America’s tipsiest US Attorney having dropped the indictment of David Hearn for Grand Theft Paint Chips.

Donny’s reaction wasn’t very pretty.

Donny: “frankly, I think she choked. because the judge was really vicious. instead of going after the people that did it, the judge went after her, and went after her department. and I guess she choked. I don’t know what the hell happened.”

reporter: “are you reconsidering her role?”

Donny: “you don’t— you’re fake news. don’t ever talk again. you’re fake news, one of the worst in the business. fortunately, nobody watches you.”

oh, do kindly shut the fuck up, you obstreperous child.

once again, Donny shows us that he has a toddler’s understanding of how the world works. in what remains of his rotting little brain, he’s concluded that the judge is being so unfair, going after the DOJ instead of the miscreants.

that not how it works. that’s not how any of this works.

no, Jeanine Pirro didn’t ‘choke.’ what she did, for once in her wine-soaked life, was to actually respect the legal process, instead of trying to make headlines.

it was a flawed case. there was no evidence. the Department of the Interior lied to Pirro, and withheld documents that showed it was Donny’s own crony contractor who fucked that shit up, not some imaginary vandal.

but don’t try to explain any of that to Donny. the stupid shit has actually convinced himself that evidence abounds.

“now, we have photographs— or tapes— like moving cameras, right? we have ’em— where people are on the side, cutting it with a box knife.”

what the fuck is Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants blithering about? there are no tapes. the Park Department has released one 46-second video of someone sticking their hand into the water.

that’s it. that’s their ‘proof.’

come on. that’s not proof of anything, except that someone got their hand wet.

you know that if there actually were hard, solid, undeniable evidence of vandalism, the Donnyverse would have leaked that shit. Fox News would be playing it on a permanent loop, twenty-four-seven.

and if there were undeniable evidence, Attorney Boxwine wouldn’t have dropped the case against Hearn.

as Donny’s cognitive collapse increases, he’s losing his words. in that clip, he can’t come up with the word ‘video’ — what seeps out of his anus-mouth instead is ‘moving cameras.’ Donny even makes a circular motion with his freakishly undersized index finger, miming — what, film in a projector?

Donny’s brain is liquifying right before our very eyes — but tell me again how Sleepy Joe Brandon was too old and icky to be president. that’s such a cool story.

anyway, let the Jeanine Pirro Gets Shitcanned countdown clock commence.

President Donald Trump is considering removing Jeanine Pirro, the US attorney for the District of Columbia, over a Justice Department conclusion that problems with the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool stemmed from a flawed renovation rather than vandalism, two people familiar with his thinking told CNN.

The president is “furious” with Pirro, one of the sources said, telling CNN that he fumed about her all weekend. They added that based on his criticisms of her, they find it “highly likely she’s removed from her job.”

my god, what a colicky little piss-baby. imagine being the diaper nurse, or the undead advisor, or the lying press secretary, and having to endure an entire weekend of Donny shitting himself raw while whining about how unfair and mean everyone always is to him.

they all look so happy, don’t they? what a life-affirming experience it must be, to have a job in the Donnyverse.

but the one thing that we always need to keep in mind is that none of this is normal.

a spite-fueled chief executive with a vendetta, directing his entire government to go after someone he imagines must be guilty of something isn’t how functioning democracies work. it’s how tin-horn fascist dictatorships work. it’s how megalomaniacal dumbfucks who believes themselves to be some kind of king works.

it’s some off with his head level bullshit.

traditionally in this country, there has been a separation between a president and their Department of Justice, so there’s no appearance of impropriety.

I know that we all wished that Joe Biden would have called up Merrick Garland and screamed at him to hurry the fuck up with the prosecution of Donny — but Joe was right not to do it, because presidents aren’t supposed get up in that shit.

it’s an abuse of power.

they’re also not supposed to go on live TV and whine about how their hand-picked attorney folded like an umbrella.

I’m sorry, but Donny hasn’t the first clue how umbrellas fold.

and presidents sure as fuck aren’t supposed to summon a US Attorney to the Oval Bordello so he can personally whip a ketchup bottle at their head — which is exactly what Donny did yesterday afternoon.

President Trump met with Jeanine Pirro, the U.S. attorney in Washington, and Doug Burgum, the interior secretary whose department oversees the Reflecting Pool, in the Oval Office this afternoon, according to two people familiar with the meeting.

seriously, what the fuck?

as for Attorney Boxwine, shed not a tear for her, should she end up on the Great Shitpile of Discarded Flunkies. she did it to herself.

she’s merely the most recent member of the Donnyverse to show up all full of piss and vinegar, somehow imagining that working for an erratic narcissist with no impulse control is going be an amazing experience, only to be flushed down the shitter the second she displeases Dear Leader.

at the end of the day, Attorney Boxwine has poured gasoline all over her career and set it on fire. where does she go next? who’s going to hire her? Fox News? I doubt it.

anyway, who gives a shit, really? she fucking sucks.

enjoy your one-way ticket to nowheresville, Jeanine. you earned it.

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it’s time for our Daily Claudia.

here’s a trio from the Coast Guard House in Narragansett, Rhode Island, on September 21, 2023.

pro tip: their bartender makes a great martini.

have a great Tuesday, everyone. don’t fold like an umbrella.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.