holy shit, the squirrels in Donald Trump’s head have completely chewed through the wires

could Trump even pick Barron out of a lineup?

Dec 03, 2023

Little Donny Fuckface continues to deteriorate before our very eyes.

Mr. Stable Genius never had all that much going on upstairs to begin with, but a lifetime of substance abuse and the stress of four concurrent criminal trials, combined with creeping dementia and untreated tertiary syphilis, is taking its toll.

his rabid worshipers refuse to see it. the GOP establishment dances around it.

a compliant press edits his statements, cleaning up the mangled syntax and rephrasing the stream of consciousness ramblings to the point where the average news consumer has no idea just how whackadoodle out-in-the-tall-weeds Trump is.

but it’s getting harder and harder to hide Donny’s cognitive decline.

watch Squirrelbrain in action as he’s handed a big fat softball question, gently lobbed underhand, right down the center of the plate — and the corroded old fuck flubs it.

hey, Donny — how’s your youngest son doing?

“he’s a tall guy, very tall. 6’8”. he’s a great young man. very good student. I think he’s doing a good job — Barron. I think he’s doing a very good job.”

what the fuck? this is a standard bullshit Trump answer, when he has no idea who or what he’s been asked about and has to wing it.

Barron is doing a very good job? what job is Barron Trump doing? is it the job of being Donald Trump’s ignored child?

back in 2017, Trump was asked during Black History Month to comment on Frederick Douglass, and he infamously blurted this answer:

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.”

it was clear that Trump had no fucking idea who Frederick Douglass was, what Douglass accomplished, or even that Douglass wasn’t currently alive.

now just swap out the name.

“Barron Trump is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.”

what a horrible father. what a callous piece of shit.

Trump doesn’t give one fuck about Barron. do you think Donny has ever played catch with Barron? does he know what Barron likes to eat, or what Barron’s favorite movie is? could he name one of Barron’s friends?

no — all Trump knows about Barron is the most obvious fucking thing about him: that he’s freakishly tall. (but not 6’8” — Trump can’t even get that right.)

if you put Barron in a room with a half dozen other 6’7” white teenage boys, could Trump even pick him out of a lineup?

thank fuck Trump wasn’t asked how Tiffany’s doing.

add “father” to the long list of things Trump is shit at.

oh, and by the way —

meanwhile, Trump held another one of his dipshitpalooza hate-fests yesterday. the brain worms were singing in perfect four-part harmony as he rehashed every petty grudge and grievance.

along the way, he continued to completely make shit up, as always.

“they want to talk about your dishwashers and how much water you’re going to have in your dishwasher, even though they don't work, and all the other things you have that were so precious and dear and that you never really appreciated until now because they want to take them away.”

fun true fact: Joe Biden doesn’t want to take away your dishwasher, but Donald Trump sure as fuck wants to take away your healthcare and your Social Security and Medicare — and your right to an abortion. he’s out there bragging about it.

what the fuck even is this word salad?

“we’re gonna do a big deportation, we’re gonna get those bad ones out. remember: mental institutions, prisons and terrorists are pouring into our country. we right now the largest caravan, that was my term, I have a lot of terms, lot of good terrrrrms, but caravan was uh my term, the largest caravan anyone’s ever seen is right now coming up through Mexico, thousands and thousands of people that are poor, right into our country, have no idea who they are. bad things are gonna happen, very bad.”

you heard it here first, folks: mental institutions and prisons are pouring into our country.

Trump is always the cheap, gaudy huckster.

“and I will not rest until your family can afford a beautiful home and the brand-new beautiful car of your choice.”

and gee, what a tasteful ad for Trump coins. excellent work, Newsmax.

Trump continues to have zero fucking idea how the legal system works.

“… only got indicted once, he got indicted. I got indicted four times for questioning a crooked election. but we’re not questioning it. we know the results. we know. and when we go through courts — if we ever even have to do it, because you have presidential privilege and also — if we ever — we should never have to do that. but if we do, we want to re … do the election, only from the standpoint, we want that election, we want to look at it very carefully. we have so much information. there was ss much corruption in that election, you take a look, it’s incredible. just the other day in Georgia, three thousand six votes that were duplicated, so that you had double votes, almost all of them were for Sleepy Joe Biden, right? every single vote, you take a look what they do, what they play, and what the Democrats have done for a long time, but it’s a disaster, and we have to get in and we have to clean it up, and we want to go paper ballots and wanna go voter ID, SAME DAY ELECTION, no more mail-in ballots, we don’t want mail in ballots.”

good luck running all that by Fani Willis, numbnuts.

oh, and at one point Trump managed to accidentally tell the truth.