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you can't imagine how relieved I am that all the breaking news happened -before- I clicked "publish"

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You ass! You beat me to it! It’s okay though! I’ll expound in mine in a bit. I hope you don’t mind if I “copy” some of yours, with reference links back to yours!

I’m fucking estatic that this bimbo has plead guilty! Holy 💩! The 🍓💩🤡 is so screwed!

I wasn’t aware of the admonishments given to the 🍓💩🤡in court in New York yesterday. I guess my hospital trip was longer than I thought after my fall and ambulance ride! Sucks to get old!

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Hope you’re okay

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I’m okay. Just took a fall and k picked myself out fir a bit when I hit my head on the foot if my hospital bed.

My head apparently isn’t as hard as it used to be! I’ve fallen through roofs two floors up and gotten up and walked off. Now, I trip over my oxygen line, hit my head, and it knocks me out!

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ALWAYS be careful in movements you make, as am I. You and I and others with still functioning brains DESERVE to see an end to Trump. I am NOT dying until that fuckface is in the ground!

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Me either, Steve! I want to be a ‘thorn in his side’ every second of every day!

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As my mom would say “stop it”!) (she did once when I fell down the stairs). Be safe!!

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"Stop it!" 🤣🤣🤣

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Mom’s Parenting 101!

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Thanks, gal! I shall try my best. These ambulance rides are expensive, not to mention the frigging emergency room bills!

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I lived in the backcountry for a few years caretaking a ranch. I was alone and no roads in, and the river frozen so no jet boating. Only the mail plane once a week, weather permitting. Of course I went up to the hydro lines and slipped on the ice with an axe in my hand. It wasn’t good but I was able to walk back down. I asked the pilot what happened when accidents occurred and he said ‘you don’t have them!’ It took me a minute to figure out he wasn’t being facetious, he meant it, per Patris. Be careful! Be well! 😊

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No mercy in pilots or my mom!

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No, but that simple wisdom is priceless. I have taken it to heart since. 😊 ⛑️

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I used to work solo on forestry projects. I felt very comfortable doing so but I was younger and fitter! That kind of confidence seems to fade as you get older but hopefully replaced with wisdom or at least common sense!

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It’s hard to keep up…

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This was glorious

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Bend over, Gymmy, Karma is shoving a Benghazi up your ass.

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I was unaware of my enjoyment of a porn/news combo. Still learning new things every day!

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Wendy for the win! 🤣🤣🤣. Porn/news indeed.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!!!

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Lol! 👍🏻👍🏻

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This needs to be emblazoned on a plaque.

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Well said! 👏👏🤣

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I’m traveling and as soon as I saw your piece, I had to pull over to read it. And I’m glad I did! People going in and out of the convenience store are wondering why I’m laughing hysterically alone in my car. It doesn’t get much more delicious than all this! Woooo Hooooo!!

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Sudan, I’m lying in my hospital bed in my bedroom screaming as I read this a while ago. The workers outside called the office! They thought I was being attacked! The lady from the office came running into my apartment. I damn near shot her!

I had to show her I was reading Jeff’s column and going crazy in the news!

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Susan, sorry about the misspelling your name! I deeply apologize! (Sudan, Geeze, I’m so stupid)!

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Nah…just don’t call me Sue! 😂. Yes indeed, Jeff knows how to get to the heart of the matter in the most amusing form!! Hope you get better soon!

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Good news about the Kraken cracking, and I hope her testimony removes the UN from un-indicted co-conspirators, including Lindsey Graham.

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“Kracken cracking” wins the day!

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Oh yeah.... miss Lindsey! Almost forgot. Here’s hoping! 🤞

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That’s on my Christmas wishlist.

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Ready the fainting couch!

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I want Graham, and all the others Indy ted so bad I can taste it!

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It’s never too early for Schadenfreude. In fact, I find it to be a wonderful replacement for my morning coffee! That bloated, orange, entitled sociopathic, narcissistic piece of shit is finally being held accountable for a lifetime of lying, cheating, stealing, conning, scamming, grittily and being an overall felonious dick. And he’s handling it just as we’d expect him to. It’s a great day to be alive!

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Felonious Dick🙌🏽BRAVA 🙌🏽

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Long overdue. The plates of catsup will probably be flying like frisbees until he gets sent to his new home. Let's hope they can also nail the tangerine turd for being behind the mob boss- like threats to those more sensible folks who refuse to vote for that despicable asshole, traitor Jim.

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Rick! Ohhh, the 🍔🍔🍔that 🍓💩🤡will be throwing at the wall is immeasurable today! I feel for his maid and butler slaves he has at Mar-a-Lago! I hope he enjoys that joint while he’s there. New York is fixing to OWN IT!

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Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023

It's probably like a revolving door with maids and butlers. Besides the non-stop cleanups, most probably wouldn't want to work for that cheap, bullying bastard for very long.

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Who would! Not me. I’d be done something to him Ajax wouldn’t clean up!

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As I read the second sentence and thought..."as he gets sent to his room."

Child-like behavior, SO unattractive in a 75 year old man. Even worse contrasting the his gifted, know-it all BS!

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Otto!! Was GRIFTER dang...

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Jeff, you are my HERO! As I'm sitting here in the nation's capital, wondering how in the hell you were going to keep up with the breaking news *just this morning*--you go and do it. Bravo!!!!!

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author
Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023Author

pure luck. if I'd started writing this a half hour earlier than I did, I would have finished and posted it before the any of the breaking news.

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Diligence pays later; procrastination pays now.

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We have a saying in our family:

Never put off until tomorrow

What you can put off until the day after tomorrow!

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Sloth pays.

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Good for us. Please continue getting up early. 😉

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And your been scrambling to write a new one to post. Don’t 💩the 🐂💩er!

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I’m stuck in bed with pneumonia while the roof is being torn off this morning (the noise!!) and every inch of my body hurts but this news has given me the giggles and encouragement enough to make myself a cup of tea with a dose of whiskey! Cheers!!

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Tama, as a child of the 60’s I am compelled to send you good vibes and nurturing energy to help you overcome your pneumonia. Wishing you health. 🙏🏼

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As another child of the 60’s I most gratefully receive your warm wishes ❣️

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Add this one too

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I hope you feel better soon. Pneumonia is no fun. 🙌

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Tama2U.....you have got to get feeling better! Things are just getting good! Break out the popcorn, and straight JB! Oh hell yes!

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What a kind community this is ❣️

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I am visiting Texas for the first time. Today we are headed out to the Texas wine country. This is a guarantee, that we will be toasting , Leticia James, Fanny Willis, and last but not least , Jack Smith.

In fact I just may get sloshed!

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Go for it and have a drink for me!

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Done multiple times

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And more than one!!

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CHEERS!!

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I just landed in Charlotte, headed back home. And to quote the late Casey Kasem

And The Hits just keep on coming!!

Yea Baby! One after the other after the other. Did I just read Mark Meadows? After Jenna Lewis this morning?

This North Carolinian Craft Brew tastes so sweet right about now!

When we fly home to Montreal later, I think today, is one of the best birthday presents i could have asked for!

The Rule of Law in America is alive and well.

To my brothers down south, I love you!

Not out of the woods yet, but Stay Strong.

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“Fuck Around said, ‘anything I shitpost online or blab on social media is truth.’”

“And Find Out said, ‘Will the defendant please rise?’l

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What a fucking great day, and it’s not even noon yet.

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I read it all at 6:30 a.m. my time, I have a LONNGGG day to enjoy it!

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It's gonna make those last few rounds of cheating at golf feel as precious as that moment of tearing open that fresh bag of adult diapers.

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moment of tearing open that fresh bag of adult diapers.

LOVE IT!

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First, Jeff posts and we laugh and share our delight.

Then the replies!!! Both Jim & Neal provided that da da dum..dum drum beat follow-up! Excellent and thank you all!

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These moments help make life worth living.

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They do indeed!

What a wonderful group of found peeps we have here!

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I cannot express how BIGLY my smile is today and to quote Kerry Truchero “ Bend over, Gymmy, Karma is shoving a Bengazi up your ass” now that is pure poetry!! Brilliant Kerry !! And today Little Donny Fuckface will be whining about how they didn’t appraise all his roach infested motels properly cause they’re worth trillions.. no .. no .. gazillions and how cockroaches improve the appraisal. No really they do... only in his shrunken little encapsulated dying brain.🧠 💩🖕🏽fucking lying windbag🖕🏽💩🖕🏽

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It’s HUGE! Hope Gymmy keeps a lube tube in his House office desk drawer.

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Hehehe 🤭 oh I like how you think!!!🙌🏽

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Gym got devoured by his fellow MAGA monsters. Now the Keebler Elf is going to be in charge. The Dems should steal his crate so that he can't see over the podium. I wonder if Sydney will bring the headless entity with her when she testifies. Keep the straight jackets ready!

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Keebler Elf

Beautiful.

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I want to see AOC walking through the halls of Congress with that milk crate raised in triumph over her head.

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Hold it for ransom. McHenry has to come into the well of the House dressed like a Munchkin.

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I’d much rather have the Keebler Elf than Judo Gym! The only question I want answered is simple. Who dues this character take his orders from?

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He's a Kochhead.

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Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023

It doesn't make him any less dangerous -- Koch's primary goal is also to set up a fascist state where only certain people can own property or vote and to end taxes on the rich, but at least the Kochheads aren't all that fond of Trump and they aren't quite as publicly unhinged.

I know that part of the success of the face-eating leopards party is pretending they have ALL the votes in the House, not just the razor-thin majority they have in reality, but they're looking more and more like Wile E Coyote ending up in a coyote-shaped hole in the canyon floor, shortly after blowing his face off with the bomb he just made.

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Keebler Elf!!! 🧝😂

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Wine, cheese and kraken coming up!😁

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In Texas , Will be Joining you for A Toast Tiday!

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Right before reading this I had read that Jim Jordan is not trying anymore. I still wish everyone that lives in his district be subjected the the types of threats that he has been sending people. I heard he threatened people's spouses and new babies. No one in their right mind would reward that kind of behavior. Of course, who says being Republican is being in one's right mind. In any case, I love hearing that Trump got told to shut up. Perhaps the biggest consequence is that he cannot be in the court and then milk the press afterwards, but perhaps they will seek him out at Mar-a-Lago, because after all, it is worth 100 times, $18,000,000 according to Trump. Everyone just wants to see such a valuable piece of real estate and the lord of the manor. That is everyone but his friend Sidney Powell, who has to write apology letters to the people of Georgia and has admitted that she lied. While I would rather see her do hard time, I will be satisfied if she helps ensure that Donald Trump does.

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Linda, the cou-de-gra will be seeing her on the stand, under oath, with Donny sitting there at the defense table fuming as she throws his ass under the biggest greyhound bus ever to roll the roads! That’s the day I’m going to get drunker than I’ve ever been in my life! It will be a glorious day!

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You shouldn't do that alone. You need people like us here who will laugh together until we pass out from sheer delight after 8 very long years of living through this shit. Maybe we can rent Canada for the party? I have a feeling we are going to require a lot of room.

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Oct 19, 2023·edited Oct 19, 2023

Coup de grâce - a final blow or shot given to a wounded animal or person

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OMG, I just remembered that trial will be TELEVISED!!! I'm really going to have to learn to spell "Schadenfreude" without spellcheck or copy/paste now.

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Great headline, Jeff!!

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author

thank you, E. Jean!

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