holy shit, Donald Trump’s reckless mouth is making us all less safe

there’s a lot of fucknuttery to unpack here

Wednesday night, as Little Donny Fuckface was rambling his way through a campaign speech in Florida, the brain worms burrowing through his corroded cortex munched on a tasty-looking synapse, and the following word salad came tumbling out.

“two nights ago I read all of Biden’s security people, can you imagine, national defense people, and they said ‘gee, I hope Hezbollah doesn't attack from the north, because that's the most vulnerable spot.’ I said, wait a minute. you know, Hezbollah is very smart. they’re all very smart, the press doesn’t like when they say [unintelligible]. you know, I said that President Xi of China, 1.4 billion people, he controls it with an iron fist. I said he’s a very smart man. they killed me the next day. oh he said he was smart, whatever I get I say, but Hezbollah they’re very smart. and [Israel has] have a national defense minister … or somebody … saying ‘I hope Hezbollah doesn’t attack us from the north,’ so the following morning they attacked. they might not have been doing it, but if you listen to this jerk, you would attack from the north. because he said that’s our weak spot. who ever heard of officials saying on television that they hope the enemy doesn’t attack in a certain area.”

there’s a lot of fucknuttery to unpack here.

there’s simpleminded belief that saying “I hope Hezbollah doesn’t attack from the North” — which no one actually said, mind you — will actually inspire Hezbollah to attack. because remember, the guy who went broke running casinos is smarter than all the generals.

there’s the part where Trump is just making shit up as he goes along — the imaginary “I hope Hezbollah doesn’t attack” is first attributed to a Biden administration statement he read, and then to an Israeli national defense minister he saw on TV.

there’s the obligatory praising — and envy — of a dictator — “President Xi of China, 1.4 billion people, he controls it with an iron fist. I said he’s a very smart man.”

there’s random incoherence — what the fuck does “whatever I get I say” mean?

there’s the improvisational bullshit — “national defense minister … or somebody.”

there’s the obligatory insult — the Israeli defense minister ( … or somebody) is a jerk.

---

the Biden administration was not pleased.

Biden spokesman Andrew Bates said in a Thursday statement that what Trump said about Hezbollah was “dangerous and unhinged.”

“It's completely lost on us why any American would ever praise an Iran-backed terrorist organization as ‘smart.’ ... This is a time for all of us to stand shoulder to shoulder with Israel against ‘unadulterated evil,’” Bates said.

the Israelis were fucking pissed.

Israeli Communications Minister Shlomo Karhi said Trump’s comments to supporters and in a television interview on Wednesday night showed he could not be relied on.

It is “shameful that a man like that, a former U.S. president, abets propaganda and disseminates things that wound the spirit of Israel’s fighters and its citizens,” Karhi told Israel’s Channel 13.

and holy shit, even some courageous Republicans finally found their voices.

“Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, the greatest state sponsor of terrorism, these are states and entities that are focused on wiping Israel off the face of the earth. That is neither smart nor good,” Rep. Mike Lawler (R-N.Y.), who represents a district that voted for President Joe Biden by double digits, told NBC News’ Kristen Welker on Thursday. “This is a fight of good versus evil.”

but of course, Trump is always calling our adversaries smart. Putin is smart. Kim is smart. Xi is smart. and in Trumpworld, America and its allies are always dumb.

because, y’know, patriotism.

Trump also took time out to take some pot-shots at his former friend Bibi.

“from the situation room, we followed the whole thing. about fifteen seconds later it was all over. but I’ll never forget, I’ll never forget that Bibi Netanyahu let us down. that was a very terrible thing, I will say that, and uh so when I see uh sometimes uh the intelligence, you talk about the intelligence or you talk about some of the things that went wrong over the last week, they’ve got to straightening it out, because they’re fighting potentially a very big force, they’re fighting potentially Iran, and when they have people saying the wrong things, everything they say is being digested by these people because they’re vicious and they’re smart and boy are they vicious, ’cause nobody’s ever seen the sight that we’ve seen. nobody’s ever seen it. but they cannot play games. so we were disappointed by that. very disappointed. but we did the job ourselves and it was absolute precision, magnificent, beautiful job. and then Bibi tried to take credit for it. that was a … that didn’t make me feel too good, but that’s all right. so they got to strengthen themselves up.”

holy fuck, that bit of self-puffery had everything in it but the big strong men with the tears in their eyes.

Trump and Bibi used to be thick as thieves, but not any more.

Netanyahu’s crime, of course, was refusing to play along when Trump tried to get him to say something bad about Joe Biden.

Trump: “think Sleepy Joe could have made this deal, Bibi? Sleepy Joe. do you think he would have made this deal? somehow, I don’t think so.”
Netanyahu: “well, Mr. President, one thing I can tell you is we appreciate the help for peace from anyone in America and we appreciate what you’ve done enormously.”

and that was that — their romance was over. that’s how Bibi let “us” down. so now, when Trump tells his bullshit stories, Bibi is no longer the partner. he’s now the bumbler who got in the way and would have fucked it all up if it weren’t for Trump, and then — the nerve of Bibi, the unmitigated gall — tries to hog all the credit.

because Trump is a fucking child who demands total loyalty and throws a shit-fit when he doesn’t get his way.

at the end of the day, Trump doesn’t care who or what country he harms. he’ll run his mouth, tell lies, give away state secrets, defraud banks, hoodwink the gullible — gleefully blazing a path of destruction, as long as he can make a buck or stroke his own ego.

Trump is a menace who only gives a fuck about Trump.

will Republicans ever wake up and realize what a nightmare he is?

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.