holy shit, a judge finally threatened Donald Trump with jail time

also: Kenny Cheese melts and Gym Jordan folds

“how the fuck is Donald Trump not in jail?”

we’ve all said this a thousand times. it’s infuriating. Little Donny Fuckface is a twenty-four-seven felony factory. he crimes, crimes again — and then crimes some more, all while staring you right in the eyes and daring you to do something about it. Trump has broken laws great and small — from cheating an old woman out of fifty cents all the way up to divulging our nation’s most-closely-guarded nuclear secrets.

and yet, he remains a free man. free to fly around the country and hold hate-fests. free to cheat at golf. free to run for president. free to continue to crime.

how is this larcenous piece of shit not in jail? it’s fucking maddening.

yesterday, at Donald Trump’s Big Fraud Fuckery Trial, an exasperated Judge Engoron went there.

“I will now allow the defendant to explain why this should not end up with serious sanctions or I could possibly imprison him.”

you see, Donny had violated the fuck out of his gag order.

Judge Arthur Engoron was livid when he revealed that Trump failed to comply with the order and raised the possibility of putting the former president in prison. Engoron said Trump had posted on his social media account “an untrue and disparaging post about my clerk” and that he "ordered him to remove the post immediately and he said he did take it down."

He continued, “Despite this order, last night I learned the offending post was never removed from a website. This is a blatant violation of the gag order. I made it clear [that] failure to comply will result in serious sanctions.”

in the end, the judge opted to slap Trump with a five thousand dollar fine.

but look: just the threat of sending Trump to jail is a Big Fucking Deal. think of how far we’ve come — just two years ago, the idea of Trump ever facing consequences was laughable.

who ever thought Trump would be criminally indicted one time, much less four?

who imagined that Trump would be found liable for both rape and finacial fraud?

who imagined that Trump would be sitting in a courtroom, a defendent in a trial?

all that has come to pass. and it’s not over. you know that Trump is going to fuck up again. he’s can’t help it. he’s too dumb and arrogant not to cross a line.

and Judge Engoron is not fucking around.

“Make no mistake: future violations, whether intentional or unintentional, will subject the violator to far more severe sanctions, which may include, but are not limited to, steeper financial penalties, holding Donald Trump in contempt of court, and possibly imprisoning him,” Engoron wrote.

Letitia James is not fucking around. Jack Smith is not fucking around. Judge Chutkan is not fucking around.

nor are Judge McAfee and Fani Willis down in Georgia.

all of them are watching Donny very closely, waiting for him to fuck up.

justice is coming.

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meanwhile, the list of people who absolutely do no want to go to prison for Donald Trump keeps growing.

yesterday was the first day of Kenneth Chesebro’s George Election Fuckery Trial.

Kenny Cheese took a good look around the courtoom, decided “nah, fuck this shit and fuck it hard,” and told the judge he wanted to cop a plea.

Chesebro pleaded guilty to a single felony count of conspiracy to file false documents and accepted a sentence of three to five years of probation, a $1,000 fine, $5,000 in restitution to the state of Georgia, an apology letter, 100 hours of community service and a promise to testify truthfully against any other co-defendants in the case, should they go to trial.

this is another huge win for Fani Willis and more disastrous news for Little Donny Fuckface.

Ken is, of course, the architect of the harebrained Trust Us, We’re Actual Electors scheme, and like Sidney Powell, was right there in the Oval Office as all this bullshit was being cooked up.

and like Sid, it is in his interest to sing his heart out when it’s time get up on the witness stand and testify against Trump.

all the dominos are starting to fall. who’s next? Jenna Ellis? Mark Meadows? Jeffrey Clark? Rudy Colludy? all of these homeboys are having some serious conversations with their lawyers right now.

tick fucking tock, Donny.

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and finally, Jimmy Jords is out as Speaker Designate.

Jim Jordan of Ohio was forced out of the House speakership race on Friday after his Republican colleagues voted against his continued bid for the seat in a secret ballot after his third failed attempt to corral enough support to win the gavel.

shed no tears for the shouty half-dressed degenerate westling coach — he’s still a dangerous presence in the House, he’s still the head of the Judiciary Committee, and he’s still going to waste all of our time on bullshit investigations, sham hearings, and pointless impeachment fucknuttery.

and never forget that while 25 Republicans refused to publicly vote for him to be Speaker, almost 200 of their colleagues were totally down with the idea of a rape-enabling insurrectionist shit-flinger being two heartbeats away from the presidency.

same as it ever was.