hey media: Kamala doesn’t owe you jackals a press conference, so stuff it

stop your whining

the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media sure are a bunch of dirty-diaper crybabies.

why won’t Kamala Harris talk to us? we’re the press! she’s been the candidate for a month now. she needs to answer our questions! come on, Kamala, talk to us. it’s not fair. it’s not faaaaaiiiiiir!

Kamala won’t give the media what they imagine they deserve — and they can’t stop whining about it.

look at this shit.

wah wah wah wah wah!

The New York Times has worked themselves up into a nice big hissy.

The press has questions for Vice President Kamala Harris. She isn’t giving a whole lot of answers.

In the nearly three weeks since President Biden withdrew his candidacy, catapulting Ms. Harris to the top of the Democratic ticket, the vice president has shown little eagerness to meet journalists in unscripted settings. She has not granted an interview or held a news conference.

in case you’re wondering, here’s what the Times has been up to lately.

what in the holy name of journamolism is this drek? the Times wants to quote-unquote “understand” Kamala’s popularity — so naturally they turn to a bunch of Donny’s cultists to find out.

spoiler alert: the Times couldn’t find one Kamala supporter at a Trump rally. that’s some ace fucking reporting right there. I smell Pulitzer!

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe what I see on TV and stuff, so I’m just not worried about it,” said Barb Delaney, 68, a flight attendant from Bozeman.

I don’t believe facts I don’t like — awesome insight, Barb. do tell us more.

I swear, the Times has crossed over into Pitchbot territory.

the Times has been pulling this crap for years. they pretend they want to “understand” an issue, so they round up five MAGA dipshits in an Arbys in Midland, Texas, listen to them pontificate on crap they know nothing about, and then write it up as here’s the scoop on what Real Amurricans think.

just once, I’d love to see the Times round up five Harris fans in a Whole Foods in Greenwich, Connecticut and ask them what they think.

but no, that would destroy The Narrative that it’s only the cOnSeRvATiVes fRoM tHe HeArTLand who are the “real” face of America.

meanwhile, over at the Washington Post,

If she hopes to prevail, Ms. Harris needs to present her ideas. The media and public have legitimate questions, and she should face them.

hey, Washington Post, I’m demanding that you sit down for an interview with me. my first question is what the fuck are you doing, publishing this misogynistic twaddle?

Without her beauty, Harris might be joining Biden in retirement. All you have to do is imagine her spoken words coming from a less-attractive package. Or put her on radio.

Harris remains the person she has been for the past 3½ years: a sometimes bumbling beauty with a stride that conveys confidence if not precisely competence.

I shit you not, this is from a Kathleen Parker hit job entitled “News flash: Kamala Harris is not a remake of Barack Obama.” Parker’s premise, in this Year of our Lord 2024, is that Kamala is a vacuous bubblehead who has been coasting on her looks.

is Kamala now supposed to reward these journalistic jackoffs with a sit-down interview? I think not.

news flash for our media:

Kamala Harris does not owe you a press conference, and you have no right to demand one.

let’s imagine that Kamala agreed to hold a presser tomorrow. we all know what would happen: it would devolve into a shit-show. the press would waste everyone’s time — and drop our collective IQ by three points — by asking worthless questions.

“Madam Vice President, Donald Trump says you only recently became Black. what is your response?”

who fucking cares? what fresh insight could possibly be gained by asking these kinds of questions? what’s Kamala going to say, that Donny’s a racist lunatic? we already know this. what would be the point of bringing up the toxic sludge that oozes out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth?

“do you still have confidence in Tim Walz despite the controversy over his military service?”

by the way, THERE IS NO CONTROVERSY. this is a 100% Republican smear job. stop legitimizing it by pretending it’s real.

“when you were Border Czar—”

the media and the wingnuts love this completely fictitious talking point: Kamala was in charge of the border and as a result, eighty skillionty illegals are now criming up a storm. they’re jimmying the lock on your frail old granny’s front door right now.

fun fact: Kamala Harris was never a “border czar.” she was tasked with —

leading diplomatic efforts to reduce poverty, violence and corruption in Central America’s Northern Triangle countries of Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador.

this mission has nothing to do with administering border policy — but some lazy jackass in the press called her the ‘border czar’ while writing up this story [edit:] Republicans decided that assignment somehow made Kamala the “border czar,” and voila — now it’s right-wing gospel.

Kamala doesn’t need to cater to the banal Narrative of the national media. she’s been taking her case straight to the people, and the people fucking love her.

---

the entire world is mocking Donny Convict’s bizarre lisping during his two-hour wank session with the Space Nazi.

so naturally, Donny had to take to his crappy app to explain that we didn’t hear that thing we definitely all heard.

My conversation with Elon last night was heard by a RECORD audience, and was really something special, as Elon himself is very special - and I thank him for such a strong Endorsement! Unfortunately, because of the complexity of modern day equipment, and cellphone technology, my voice was, in certain areas, somewhat different and strange. Therefore, we have put out an actual, and perfect, recording of the conversation. ENJOY!!!

ohhhhh, it was “the complexity of modern day equipment” that made Donny sound like Sylvester the Cat overdosing on Nyquil. that explains everything. thanks for clearing that up, Donny.

maybe you and the Space Nazi should have tried a more robust technology, like two tin cans and a string. they worked the bugs out of that shit decades ago.

I fucking love that this is the kind of thing that keeps the thin-skinned bastard up at night.

look, I don’t give one hoot if Donny’s dentures fell out of his mouth, or if it really was an audio processing glitch — just like I don’t care whether or not Couchfuck McGee actually fucked a couch.

these people are bullies who have been shit-talking Democrats for years, and now that they’re finally getting a long-overdue taste of their own medicine, they can’t handle it. they’re melting down into a puddle of sad.

it’s so unfair. the Democrats are so mean!

boo fucking hoo. here’s your binky, crybabies.