hey Kevin: “because fuck you, that’s why” is not a valid reason for an impeachment inquiry

but the shitheads are going to do it anyway

spineless blobby jellyfish Kevin McCarthy doesn’t have enough votes to open an impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden’s imaginary high crimes and nonexistent misdemeanors. no swing-district Republican wants to have to explain to their constituents why they wasted the country’s time on a worthless exercise in petty revenge.

but screw not having enough votes — Kev’s going to open an impeachment inquiry anyway. know why? because fuck you, that’s why.

Nancy Mace went on CNN and immediately got cornered in admitting that Republicans have no evidence of Biden crimes. an impeachment inquiry would be a useless fishing expedition — but that doesn’t matter. Nancy wants to do it anyway. why? because fuck you, that’s why.

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the House GOP’s case for impeachment is based on a flimsy fairy tale spun by an indicted Chinese spy who is currently in hiding and a fugitive from justice.

here’s James Comer on Newsmax, admitting that “we don't know if [the evidence is] legit or not” — but Comer doesn’t really care if the evidence is legit or not. James Comer wants to impeach Joe Biden anyway. why? because fuck you, that’s why.

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Scott Perry had a complete fucking meltdown yesterday when a reporter tried to pin him down on exactly what evidence he had. “if you can't see that! if you are that blind!” Perry indignantly sputtered.

Scott Perry doesn’t want to be pestered about evidence, because he doesn’t have any evidence. it doesn’t matter — Perry’s going to vote for impeachment anyway. why? because fuck you, that’s why.

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Ken Buck is the rare GOP Representative willing to say out loud that there’s no evidence with which to impeach Biden. Ken knows that this is all a huge load of performative-nonsense bullshit and he’s not afraid to go on TV and say so.

“I have not seen any evidence.”

Ken’s colleagues don’t give a shit what he has to say. they’re impeaching Joe Biden with or without evidence. why? because fuck you, that’s why.

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Senate Republicans absolutely do not want their House counterparts to impeach Biden. they know it’s a pointless waste of time. they know it’s political suicide. and they know that the Senate is never going to vote for a conviction.

“It’s a waste of time. It’s a fool’s errand,” one Senate Republican said on the condition of anonymity to speak freely and critically about the politically charged decision.

The senator said even if the House did vote to impeach Biden after an inquiry, there is no way the Senate, controlled by Democrats, would vote to convict.

even perpetually-loathsome obstruction-factory Tommy Tuberville admits that the votes just aren’t there.

but House Republicans don’t want to hear about it. they’re going to plow full steam ahead and fuck themselves all to hell, and no one is going to tell them differently. why? because fuck you, that’s why.

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of course you know the reason 15-ballot barely-Speaker McCarthy is doing this — it’s all because there’s a political gun to his head, and that he’ll be removed as Speaker if he doesn’t have an impeachment.

so now that McCarthy has agreed to do the extremists’s bidding, at least he can relax, knowing that his job is secure, right?

ha ha! fuck no. the maniacs, led by mysteriously-unindicted sex pest Matt Gaetz, simply moved the goalposts, and announced new demands for Kevin to meet in order to keep his job.

INSANE: Right after House Speaker Kevin McCarthy announced his impeachment probe of President Biden, Rep. Matt Gaetz announced that they want to unseat McCarthy as Speaker! Gaetz is threatening to eject McCarthy if the Speaker doesn't give in to his budget demands and also to subpoena Hunter Biden.

Kevin, you feckless dipshit, you got played.

why is Matt Gaetz stabbing Kev in the back?

say it along with me: because fuck you, that’s why.

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let’s give the final word to Pennsylvania’s junior senator, because, as always, John Fetterman is a fucking boss.