hey, Kamala Harris is pretty fucking awesome at campaigning

Kamala teaches a master class in how to troll a felon

when Hillary was nominated in 2016, Michelle Obama had some famous words of wisdom about how to campaign against Republicans: “when they go low, we go high.”

it sounded great and high-minded. we dutifully parroted Michelle’s words, because Little Donny Fuckface was a vulgar, pussy-grabbing shitbag — and what could be more feel-good than taking the high road against that?

well, it was nice in theory — but remind me, how did taking the high road work out in the end for the email lady?

all of which makes it super satisfying that so far, the Kamala Harris campaign has been more like when they go low, we go nuclear.

yesterday morning, Donny — whose bullet-ravaged ear, by the way, seems to have miraculously grown back, thank you Jesus! — phoned into Fox & Friends to praise himself, bellyache about how unfair it was for Sleepy Brandon to drop out, and for good measure, tell a shitload of lies about Kamala Harris.

Team Kamala immediately issued a response:

Statement on a 78-Year-Old Criminal’s Fox News Appearance

After watching Fox News this morning we only have one question, is Donald Trump ok?

Main takeaways Trump gave to the American people:

• Trump praised his Project 2025

• Trump is flustered and lashing out

• When Trump wasn’t lying, he was making threats

• Abortion bans are good, mail-in voting is bad

• Praised dictators because he wants to be one

• Trump is clearly worried he made the wrong pick in JD Vance

• Trump is old and quite weird?

• This guy shouldn’t be president ever again

• If anyone wants an alternative, Kamala Harris is offering one.

this is awesome stuff. it’s exactly how to troll a short-tempered man-baby. never stop reminding him that he’s a convicted felon, and that he’s now the old fart in the race. the more you get under Donny’s incredibly thin skin, the crazier he gets — and the crazier he gets, the more stupid and reckless he gets.

take a look at this actual ad from the Harris campaign.

Trump: “and then their campaign says ‘I’m the prosecutor and he is the convicted felon.’”
Kamala: “I’m Kamala Harris and I approve this message.”

oh, fuck yes. more like this, please.

but it’s not all trolling from Team Harris. yesterday, Kamala spoke at the American Federation of Teachers’ annual convention in Houston, and she could not have been more clear about exactly what’s at stake in this election.

“and while you teach students about our nation’s past, these extremists attack the freedom to learn and to acknowledge our nation’s true and full history — including book bans. book bans in this year of our lord 2024. and on these last two issues, just think about it. we want to ban assault weapons, and they want to ban books.”

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by the way, the why won’t the Obamas endorse Kamala crowd can put a sock in it.

Barack Obama: “we called to say that Michelle and I couldn’t be prouder to do endorse you, and to do everything we can to get you through the election and into the Oval Office.”

Madam President has a nice ring to it. let’s make it happen.

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oh look, it’s time for the Republicans to do something stupid.

those flailing failures at Fox News can’t seem to find a line of attack against Kamala that works, so they’re just throwing everything at the wall in the desperate hope that something sticks.

so, what have these geniuses come up with today?

oh noes, Kamala smoked weed!

oh, you pathetic little children. seriously? news flash for Sean Hannity: nobody gives a shit about smoking pot any more. half your audience is baked right now, Sean. it’s the only way they can get through your show. it’s 2024. wake up and smell the weed.

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veep nominee Couchfuck McShillbilly is the gift that keeps on giving — for the Democrats.

this grifter has a closet that’s chock full of skeletons — and every day, some new atrocity comes to light. here’s some recently-unearthed audio from a few years back that has to be heard to be believed.

“ok, look, here’s the situation. let’s say that Roe v Wade is overruled. Ohio bans abortion in 2022, let’s say 2024 — and then every day, George Soros sends a 747 to Columbus to load up disproportionally black women to get them to go have abortions in California. of course, the left will celebrate this as a big victory for diversity. if that happens, do you need some federal response to prevent it from happening? because it’s really creepy.”

lovely. in just 48 seconds, JD veers from christfascism to anti-semitism to racism to advocating for a police state to track down pregnant women.

awesome job of vetting this theocratic lunatic, Donny. maybe it was a mistake to let tech bro gazillionaires dictate who should be your vice president.

good luck selling this creepy god-bothering zealot to the women of America.

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three days ago, Donny Convict claimed that he was “absolutely” willing to debate Kamala.

but now it looks like those bone spurs are acting up again, because — spoiler alert — Brave Sir Donny is running away.

Trump Campaign Statement on General Election Debates

“Given the continued political chaos surrounding Crooked Joe Biden and the Democrat Party, general election debate details cannot be finalized until Democrats formally decide on their nominee. There is a strong sense by many in the Democrat Party - namely Barack Hussein Obama that Kamala Harris is a Marxist fraud who cannot beat President Trump, and they are still holding out for someone ‘better.’ Therefore, it would be inappropriate to schedule things with Harris because Democrats very well could still change their minds.”

Donny, you sad little clown. what the fuck are you gibbering about about? there is no “continued political chaos” among Democrats. everyone is solidly behind Kamala, and that’s what’s driving you crazy.

listen to yourself. Crooked Joe, Democrat Party, Barack Hussein Obama, Marxist fraud. this quote-unquote ‘statement’ of yours reads like someone sat down in front of an AI prompt and typed “parody the way unhinged Republicans talk” into it.

know what, Donny? Chrissy Teigan was right. you’re a pussy-ass bitch.

bawk bawk bawk!