apologies to anyone who came to this page looking for my writeup of Donny's Nazi Shit-Show last night. I really have been needing a day to decompress and 'happy birthday' seemed like a good opportunity.
but that doesn't mean we can't discuss the rally. oh look, the NY Times actually committed a journalism.
"Trump at the Garden: A Closing Carnival of Grievances, Misogyny and Racism"
Happy Fucking Birthday to you, Jeff❤️. You are one of the few reasons that entices me to get out of bed in the morning. I worked for over 40 years in hospitals....mostly evenings and night shift. So, you could say that I'm allergic to mornings 🤣. Keep on keeping on...just love your writing style and of course your discourse.
You are the highlight of my day!! And the best $5 a month I spend. Oh, sure, I could spend that money on more FUCK DONALD TRUMP bumper stickers, or DEPORT MELANIA magnets, but I just feel in my heart I'm getting waaay more band for my buck by reading your Substack every day. Happy fucking birthday to us all!!
Totally agree! I left Twitter because it became such a shitshow of trolls & out & out mean spirited people who generally just made me mad. I enjoy this Substack so much-it makes me laugh out loud & we can all use a good laugh every day! Thank you, Jeff & HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
The price of a subscription to your “shouting into the wind” has saved me thousands of dollars in analyst bills. If religious donations and high medical expenses are deductible, your annual subscription should also enjoy favorable tax treatment!
Jesus H. Christ on a catamaran...Happy Substack Birthday to you, Jeff, and to the entire fucking community here. Your column is the highlight of my day (a pretty low bar, but a significant one). I've lost count of the number of spit takes I've had reading your writing as well as the commenters here. Most social media is a shitshow filled with low info voters and low wattage fuckfaces - this community is one of the few exceptions to the rule. It's the best thing on the interwebs.
2 years of expletives for the positive change is probably some kind of record. 👏
Also, don’t feel an obligation to recap the MSG hate fest. I you tubed it & couldn’t make it through the so called comedian’s hate spewing of Puerto Rico & Puerto Ricans
Thank you for being funny as fuck! When the news has my hair on fire, you always take the edge off! Great job! I left Twitter (not ever going to call it by its Nazi name) when I knew I could follow you here!
yes he did,,,and is the secret service listening and taking notes?
How about the DOJ? Merrick Garland is still in a coma...
what about the CIA? The Pentagon?
Anyone out there listening to this abomination going down before our eyes to illegally take over the country? We need plans to counter react to this monster
I can’t wait to read your reaction to this bonanza of fear, hatred and misogyny that the MAGA cult glorifies in yesterday. Hopefully they’ll pay the price at the polls. Hopefully enough people have NIT voted yet. I live in a state that’s so blue we are discounted from any discussion about the presidential race and so my vote doesn’t carry the same weight as say, someone from PA. But vote I will!
I live in Honolulu. We’re extremely blue and also the City and County of Honolulu is corrupt as fuck. AND by the time our votes are counted the election has usually been called. Things are complicated here. I’m a “Lincoln Project” voter. Independent leaning Center Right. Now I’m politically homeless. At least things are simple in 2024. As @TheRickWilson says “It’s America or Trump.”
Old joke: a foreigner asks an American what the difference is between the two parties. "Well, you have to understand that there is a difference also between the national level and the local level. On the national level, the Republicans are the party of corruption and the Democrats are the party of incompetence, but on the local level, it's the other way around."
You are a much needed and much appreciated daily source of well-aimed sarcasm, derision, and overarching Chuck U. Farley to all those dopes we loathe and detest. Keep Going and Happy Birthday, Jeff!
I just started working on a new humor substack last night. Had no idea that the anniversary of Jeff Substack was today. What a coincidence! My first post turns out to be “All About Jeff."
Thanks so much for sticking with your Substack experiment. I look forward to your columns and the back and forth with other readers. And where else can I write "fuck/fuckers/fuckery/motherfuckers"? Happy second b-day. Can't wait for the rally post. I knew it would be a shitshow, but the Nazis exceeded my expectations.
The Wire!!!! Thanks! My postcards are done so I've been wondering how to unplug till Nov 5. Rewatching this excellent series will keep my brain focused. Years ago I saw a guy wearing an old, worn out "Omar's Comin'!" t-shirt. Almost drove onto the curb!
View from the outside: I keep forgetting the time difference between the UK and US and sit in frustrating anticipation waiting for your hilarious emails to hit my inbox, but the wait is certainly worth it. I'm really proud and grateful to be part of this great community you have created here. Please keep going for as long as there is something to rant about. oh, and Happy Fucking Birthday!
Never apologize, never explain. You have saved the sanity of many and for that you deserve champagne as well as cake! p.s. I always thought it was Disraeli who came up with the Never apologize quote but apparently not. I include the Wikipedia explanation because the last sentence sounds just like you! "Innocence would preclude apology. An Oxford thing, perhaps: the adage “Never apologize, never explain” is often attributed to the nineteenth-century Oxford scholar Benjamin Jowett, who supposedly added, “Get it over with and let them howl.”
Which loosely translates as “Fuck around and find out” My relatives up in Aberdeenshire absolutely loathe and detest he-who-shall-not-be-named. I’m not sure we have the wry tongue of Mr.Tiedrich however. But we are good at cursing 😈
I tried watching it with a migraine and had to turn it off because it made my migraine worse. I woke up at 1 a.m. this morning ready to cry and couldn't fall back to sleep. I hugged my daughter tightly after she got ready for school and fought not to cry. Even though I wrote 500 Georgia voter post cards, phone banked, contributed money to the Harris campaign, and phone banked, I still feel I haven't done enough. Evil. That's what we are battling.
Yes, SHOCKED! That the NY TIMES actually did what they were supposed to do and reported, with all the bark off, that Trump's Madison Square Garden rally was a Hatriot Fest of Bigoted Madman Hate....
Boy, A.G. Schulzberger must really be getting to hate that locker they stuffed him into until after the election by now.
As Jimmy McNulty once said, in perhaps one of the best pieces of physical acting ever -
Fuckety fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.
FWIW I couldn't believe the Times actually ran that 96-point font front page of the editorial section. I had to look and search online a couple of times before I accepted that they had actually done it.
Happy Fucking Birthday and many more. Love this community of goddamn potty mouths and massive intelligence. I’d be banging my head against the wall without it.
Man, that’s even an understatement. 62 year old mental health therapist here, and I start my day reading Jeff’s column (it comes out early in Hawaii). It’s like a tether to a sane world.
I look forward to reading your Substack every day, and particularly love your Saturday roundup of this week in stupid! You’re the best, Jeff! Keep up the great work!!
Happy birthday! I love the comments, too. You are a real morale booster, and that includes the profanity. Now let’s help our people over the finish line.
Jeff, you are a breath of fresh air! As opposed to the nasty, turdish whiffs expelled into the air by the fart-spewing bought-and-paid-for “news” media. Happy Anniversary. May you continue to fuck them right off to Fuckoffistan.
Happy Birthday to a truly gifted and witty writer. You get me through some of my most sad days with regard to our country and I hope you don’t stop anytime soon because even if (hoping) Kamala wins, those lunatics will keep
It up until the fucker is finally unable to speak any longer when his dementia progresses to the next stage and it will—I have no doubt.
My two year old thinks she knows everything. Some blissful unawareness would be welcome right now to put little Miss sassy pants back in her place 😂. Then again, she is light years ahead of most of the morons discussed in this column, so at least she has that going for her.
I consider your valuable newsletter the most important one on Substack. You’re a really smart guy, do tons of research, and throw in humor as well. I look forward to it every day. Happy 2nd! Big fan, here! Take the day off!
Jeff - we all feel like we are shouting into the wind! You just shout in a far more interesting manner that stimulates some serious thought in your readers. Kudos and thanks for an interesting read I look forward to every day!
Are you kidding me now? The name is what attracted me to read you in the first place. I love it! I had no idea this 73 yo grandma could find such an inclusive and enlightening group of like minded and yes, potty mouthed peeps, as I’ve found here. Thank you Jeff and thank you to all the other commenters who I’ve been lucky enough to interact with! I feel like we’re friends!
Always my first read in the morning! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳
Happy 2nd b-day! Thank you for providing this incredible writing that represents what we are thinking but haven’t put it to paper. The comical flair is a life saver! It really is a must-read to start my day!
Dear Jeff! Happy Birthday! I read you a few years ago on Twitter. I realized that your words really riled me up the RIGHT WAY. All that WHITWASHED BS from the News outlets left me upset and really pissed off. I thought that a girl like me ..in my late 80's ..needs firey ,feisty words to make it to 90. Hell..! I am getting there! So, thank you again!!! Keep on!!!
As I mentioned earlier this year, there is a bird in my yard that sings "tied-er-rik, tied-er-rik, tied-er-rik", and sometimes it is "tied-rik, tied-rik, tied-rik". It took awhile to figure out what bird that was, because I throw food out for so many, but one day, very early, I heard it and zeroed in on the House Wren broadcasting your name.
ALWAYS makes me smile, happy, and heart-full, just like your missives.
apologies to anyone who came to this page looking for my writeup of Donny's Nazi Shit-Show last night. I really have been needing a day to decompress and 'happy birthday' seemed like a good opportunity.
but that doesn't mean we can't discuss the rally. oh look, the NY Times actually committed a journalism.
"Trump at the Garden: A Closing Carnival of Grievances, Misogyny and Racism"
here's a gift link: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/27/us/trump-msg-rally.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Vk4.m25R.GgHlnZLHtRsc&smid=url-share
anyhoo, I'm already thinking up things I can say about the rally in tomorrow's post
Happy Fucking Birthday to you, Jeff❤️. You are one of the few reasons that entices me to get out of bed in the morning. I worked for over 40 years in hospitals....mostly evenings and night shift. So, you could say that I'm allergic to mornings 🤣. Keep on keeping on...just love your writing style and of course your discourse.
You are the highlight of my day!! And the best $5 a month I spend. Oh, sure, I could spend that money on more FUCK DONALD TRUMP bumper stickers, or DEPORT MELANIA magnets, but I just feel in my heart I'm getting waaay more band for my buck by reading your Substack every day. Happy fucking birthday to us all!!
Totally agree! I left Twitter because it became such a shitshow of trolls & out & out mean spirited people who generally just made me mad. I enjoy this Substack so much-it makes me laugh out loud & we can all use a good laugh every day! Thank you, Jeff & HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣🤣! Yes money well spent!
Did you see the Daily News front page? Give those people a damn Pulitzer right this minute.
Oh, the Post! Decades of loving Trump, hating Trump, supporting Trump, dinging Trump.
How can I find it? I want to see.
https://www.nydailynews.com/2024/09/05/new-york-daily-news-front-pages-september-october/
Thank you for the link!
You will have a VERY long Substack tomorrow! Can’t wait!
No pressure. Happy Birthday to us!
The price of a subscription to your “shouting into the wind” has saved me thousands of dollars in analyst bills. If religious donations and high medical expenses are deductible, your annual subscription should also enjoy favorable tax treatment!
Marvelous!!!
Jesus H. Christ on a catamaran...Happy Substack Birthday to you, Jeff, and to the entire fucking community here. Your column is the highlight of my day (a pretty low bar, but a significant one). I've lost count of the number of spit takes I've had reading your writing as well as the commenters here. Most social media is a shitshow filled with low info voters and low wattage fuckfaces - this community is one of the few exceptions to the rule. It's the best thing on the interwebs.
fucknuggets! 😊
Once heard on South Park from Cartman:
Jesus tap dancing christ.
Omg there’s so much there…
2 years of expletives for the positive change is probably some kind of record. 👏
Also, don’t feel an obligation to recap the MSG hate fest. I you tubed it & couldn’t make it through the so called comedian’s hate spewing of Puerto Rico & Puerto Ricans
You crack me up!
Thanks for the substack and another thanks for the birthday cake
Thank you for being funny as fuck! When the news has my hair on fire, you always take the edge off! Great job! I left Twitter (not ever going to call it by its Nazi name) when I knew I could follow you here!
#1 my dad used to say “anyhoo”
My dad was a genius
Therefore you must be a genius.
#2 the only reason I don’t delete this app is because of you. Happy 2nd anniversary on SubStack!
He gave away the plan by talking about what he and the Speaker are cooking up to try to throw the election to the House.
yes he did,,,and is the secret service listening and taking notes?
How about the DOJ? Merrick Garland is still in a coma...
what about the CIA? The Pentagon?
Anyone out there listening to this abomination going down before our eyes to illegally take over the country? We need plans to counter react to this monster
Harris has literally hundreds of attorneys ready to combat what will be a legal battle all the way to SCOTUS.
SCOTUS will get the final say.
I'm hoping we have an election blowout that no one can challenge. I don't want the Supreme's dirty hands on my Freedoms.
He can't keep his mouth shut!
Because drumph is a four year old child…
I can’t wait to read your reaction to this bonanza of fear, hatred and misogyny that the MAGA cult glorifies in yesterday. Hopefully they’ll pay the price at the polls. Hopefully enough people have NIT voted yet. I live in a state that’s so blue we are discounted from any discussion about the presidential race and so my vote doesn’t carry the same weight as say, someone from PA. But vote I will!
I live in Honolulu. We’re extremely blue and also the City and County of Honolulu is corrupt as fuck. AND by the time our votes are counted the election has usually been called. Things are complicated here. I’m a “Lincoln Project” voter. Independent leaning Center Right. Now I’m politically homeless. At least things are simple in 2024. As @TheRickWilson says “It’s America or Trump.”
Old joke: a foreigner asks an American what the difference is between the two parties. "Well, you have to understand that there is a difference also between the national level and the local level. On the national level, the Republicans are the party of corruption and the Democrats are the party of incompetence, but on the local level, it's the other way around."
Please include how they are distancing themselves, because "they had no idea" what that POS was going to say.
You are a much needed and much appreciated daily source of well-aimed sarcasm, derision, and overarching Chuck U. Farley to all those dopes we loathe and detest. Keep Going and Happy Birthday, Jeff!
Jeff: without you folks, I’d just be shouting into the wind
Us: without you, Jeff, we'd be howling at the moon.🐺💙🌙💙🐺
This!! Enjoy a day off. Thanks for this uplifting community Jeff. Your posts help keep me
balanced in these insane times. Happy 2nd Birthday! 🎂
I came late to the game but I’m glad I finally found you and your potty mouth🤣❤️
a little howling now and then though...
I just started working on a new humor substack last night. Had no idea that the anniversary of Jeff Substack was today. What a coincidence! My first post turns out to be “All About Jeff."
https://neelthakrebew.substack.com/p/gop-freaks-out
Perfectly said Kathleen.!
Amen sister
Thanks so much for sticking with your Substack experiment. I look forward to your columns and the back and forth with other readers. And where else can I write "fuck/fuckers/fuckery/motherfuckers"? Happy second b-day. Can't wait for the rally post. I knew it would be a shitshow, but the Nazis exceeded my expectations.
fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!!!
Exactly. As Bunk and Jimmy said, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
For fans of The Wire:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzOJiVRTpRY
The Wire!!!! Thanks! My postcards are done so I've been wondering how to unplug till Nov 5. Rewatching this excellent series will keep my brain focused. Years ago I saw a guy wearing an old, worn out "Omar's Comin'!" t-shirt. Almost drove onto the curb!
haha yessss, I'll always remember Jeff-isms.
Donald Trump's brain has gone fuckity bye-bye !! 😂🙌
WWII-era joke: an officer is driving down the road and sees a soldier kicking his broken-down Jeep. "What seems to be the trouble, soldier?"
"The fucking fucker's fucked, sir!"
Fuck every single one of those unctuous derps aka Nazi’ wastrels at MSG last night!
Happiest of Birthdays to you Jeff and everyone here!!
I just wish I was as funny as some of you guys! 😂
Aspirations count!
There are worse curses to have! 😉😎
I hope I denied two Maga fuckstains seats at the MSG Nazi rally as per your link Dave. I did notice a lot of uniformed fireman at the rally…
My keyboard fuckery is documented Lisa, while your writing is always well dug!!
Happy Birthday to you Jeff for writing something that I now can’t live without! 🎂🇺🇸💙
“Committed a journalism” 🤣😂😅🥹🥸😎
View from the outside: I keep forgetting the time difference between the UK and US and sit in frustrating anticipation waiting for your hilarious emails to hit my inbox, but the wait is certainly worth it. I'm really proud and grateful to be part of this great community you have created here. Please keep going for as long as there is something to rant about. oh, and Happy Fucking Birthday!
Write it and they will come.
You literally get me through the day sometimes. Your wit, during this awful time in our country, is such a gift. Thank you for what you do.
Never apologize, never explain. You have saved the sanity of many and for that you deserve champagne as well as cake! p.s. I always thought it was Disraeli who came up with the Never apologize quote but apparently not. I include the Wikipedia explanation because the last sentence sounds just like you! "Innocence would preclude apology. An Oxford thing, perhaps: the adage “Never apologize, never explain” is often attributed to the nineteenth-century Oxford scholar Benjamin Jowett, who supposedly added, “Get it over with and let them howl.”
There’s also the motto of Scotland
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland
Which loosely translates as “Fuck around and find out” My relatives up in Aberdeenshire absolutely loathe and detest he-who-shall-not-be-named. I’m not sure we have the wry tongue of Mr.Tiedrich however. But we are good at cursing 😈
I tried watching it with a migraine and had to turn it off because it made my migraine worse. I woke up at 1 a.m. this morning ready to cry and couldn't fall back to sleep. I hugged my daughter tightly after she got ready for school and fought not to cry. Even though I wrote 500 Georgia voter post cards, phone banked, contributed money to the Harris campaign, and phone banked, I still feel I haven't done enough. Evil. That's what we are battling.
You are doing so much. Thank you!!
I'm...shocked!
Yes, SHOCKED! That the NY TIMES actually did what they were supposed to do and reported, with all the bark off, that Trump's Madison Square Garden rally was a Hatriot Fest of Bigoted Madman Hate....
Boy, A.G. Schulzberger must really be getting to hate that locker they stuffed him into until after the election by now.
As Jimmy McNulty once said, in perhaps one of the best pieces of physical acting ever -
Fuckety fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.
FWIW I couldn't believe the Times actually ran that 96-point font front page of the editorial section. I had to look and search online a couple of times before I accepted that they had actually done it.
It does beggar belief, doesn't it?
I honestly thought it was satire....
😅😅 good one.
Hey Jeff. Your line about the NYT committing some journalism had this line pop into my head:
Dammit, I just stepped into some WaPo journalism.
Happy Fucking Birthday and many more. Love this community of goddamn potty mouths and massive intelligence. I’d be banging my head against the wall without it.
That’s soooo funny- NYT’s actually committed a “journalism” 😂😂😂😂
I'm surprised that the NYT didn't put a kiss ass slant to it.
Happy birthday! i know what you mean about needing to decompress. We appreciate you. I am so grateful for you.
Many happy days to come, my brother! You help us all hang in there.
Man, that’s even an understatement. 62 year old mental health therapist here, and I start my day reading Jeff’s column (it comes out early in Hawaii). It’s like a tether to a sane world.
Yes...well put Johanna.
You got it Susan!
Absolutely!
Same reason, same place. 🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽
Boy howdy! He's kept me sane.
I look forward to reading your Substack every day, and particularly love your Saturday roundup of this week in stupid! You’re the best, Jeff! Keep up the great work!!
Happy birthday! I love the comments, too. You are a real morale booster, and that includes the profanity. Now let’s help our people over the finish line.
Jeff and Community - Happy Birthday and thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Jeff, you are a breath of fresh air! As opposed to the nasty, turdish whiffs expelled into the air by the fart-spewing bought-and-paid-for “news” media. Happy Anniversary. May you continue to fuck them right off to Fuckoffistan.
Happy Birthday to a truly gifted and witty writer. You get me through some of my most sad days with regard to our country and I hope you don’t stop anytime soon because even if (hoping) Kamala wins, those lunatics will keep
It up until the fucker is finally unable to speak any longer when his dementia progresses to the next stage and it will—I have no doubt.
It’s nice to be 2 again. Now…where is the blissful unawareness that comes along with the age?
I have the tantrums covered. 🤣
🤣
My two year old thinks she knows everything. Some blissful unawareness would be welcome right now to put little Miss sassy pants back in her place 😂. Then again, she is light years ahead of most of the morons discussed in this column, so at least she has that going for her.
I consider your valuable newsletter the most important one on Substack. You’re a really smart guy, do tons of research, and throw in humor as well. I look forward to it every day. Happy 2nd! Big fan, here! Take the day off!
Jeff - we all feel like we are shouting into the wind! You just shout in a far more interesting manner that stimulates some serious thought in your readers. Kudos and thanks for an interesting read I look forward to every day!
Those amongst us who quietly give a shit are blessed by you! Congrats on the anniversary 🍷🍷
🥃🥃
Are you kidding me now? The name is what attracted me to read you in the first place. I love it! I had no idea this 73 yo grandma could find such an inclusive and enlightening group of like minded and yes, potty mouthed peeps, as I’ve found here. Thank you Jeff and thank you to all the other commenters who I’ve been lucky enough to interact with! I feel like we’re friends!
Always my first read in the morning! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳
Happy 2nd b-day! Thank you for providing this incredible writing that represents what we are thinking but haven’t put it to paper. The comical flair is a life saver! It really is a must-read to start my day!
Dear Jeff! Happy Birthday! I read you a few years ago on Twitter. I realized that your words really riled me up the RIGHT WAY. All that WHITWASHED BS from the News outlets left me upset and really pissed off. I thought that a girl like me ..in my late 80's ..needs firey ,feisty words to make it to 90. Hell..! I am getting there! So, thank you again!!! Keep on!!!
I’m not far behind you, Ingrid. Us octogenarians have chosen the right Substack to follow. See, with age comes wisdom!
Thank you for all the work you put into each day's writing. It's helping me feel like I'm not alone in my stress about this upcoming election.
Definitely not alone...
What would we do without you?! Love ya Jeff!
There’s a lot of love coming your way Jeff, enjoy a day off!
As I mentioned earlier this year, there is a bird in my yard that sings "tied-er-rik, tied-er-rik, tied-er-rik", and sometimes it is "tied-rik, tied-rik, tied-rik". It took awhile to figure out what bird that was, because I throw food out for so many, but one day, very early, I heard it and zeroed in on the House Wren broadcasting your name.
ALWAYS makes me smile, happy, and heart-full, just like your missives.
Happy Well-Deserved Anniversary, Jeff.
And salutations to Ms. Spouse, too. You must be a handful.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂