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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

apologies to anyone who came to this page looking for my writeup of Donny's Nazi Shit-Show last night. I really have been needing a day to decompress and 'happy birthday' seemed like a good opportunity.

but that doesn't mean we can't discuss the rally. oh look, the NY Times actually committed a journalism.

"Trump at the Garden: A Closing Carnival of Grievances, Misogyny and Racism"

here's a gift link: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/27/us/trump-msg-rally.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Vk4.m25R.GgHlnZLHtRsc&smid=url-share

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

anyhoo, I'm already thinking up things I can say about the rally in tomorrow's post

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Patricia Shannon's avatar

Happy Fucking Birthday to you, Jeff❤️. You are one of the few reasons that entices me to get out of bed in the morning. I worked for over 40 years in hospitals....mostly evenings and night shift. So, you could say that I'm allergic to mornings 🤣. Keep on keeping on...just love your writing style and of course your discourse.

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Cheryl Keeping's avatar

You are the highlight of my day!! And the best $5 a month I spend. Oh, sure, I could spend that money on more FUCK DONALD TRUMP bumper stickers, or DEPORT MELANIA magnets, but I just feel in my heart I'm getting waaay more band for my buck by reading your Substack every day. Happy fucking birthday to us all!!

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Katy Griffith's avatar

Totally agree! I left Twitter because it became such a shitshow of trolls & out & out mean spirited people who generally just made me mad. I enjoy this Substack so much-it makes me laugh out loud & we can all use a good laugh every day! Thank you, Jeff & HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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Christine's avatar

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤣🤣🤣! Yes money well spent!

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Cindy Watter's avatar

Did you see the Daily News front page? Give those people a damn Pulitzer right this minute.

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Beth Lander's avatar

Oh, the Post! Decades of loving Trump, hating Trump, supporting Trump, dinging Trump.

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SeekingReason's avatar

You will have a VERY long Substack tomorrow! Can’t wait!

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

No pressure. Happy Birthday to us!

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Bob Bowden's avatar

The price of a subscription to your “shouting into the wind” has saved me thousands of dollars in analyst bills. If religious donations and high medical expenses are deductible, your annual subscription should also enjoy favorable tax treatment!

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kdsherpa's avatar

Marvelous!!!

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

Jesus H. Christ on a catamaran...Happy Substack Birthday to you, Jeff, and to the entire fucking community here. Your column is the highlight of my day (a pretty low bar, but a significant one). I've lost count of the number of spit takes I've had reading your writing as well as the commenters here. Most social media is a shitshow filled with low info voters and low wattage fuckfaces - this community is one of the few exceptions to the rule. It's the best thing on the interwebs.

fucknuggets! 😊

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Steve Lord's avatar

Once heard on South Park from Cartman:

Jesus tap dancing christ.

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Gayna's avatar

Omg there’s so much there…

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Peg's avatar

2 years of expletives for the positive change is probably some kind of record. 👏

Also, don’t feel an obligation to recap the MSG hate fest. I you tubed it & couldn’t make it through the so called comedian’s hate spewing of Puerto Rico & Puerto Ricans

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

You crack me up!

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Ed's avatar

Thanks for the substack and another thanks for the birthday cake

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Linda McFee's avatar

Thank you for being funny as fuck! When the news has my hair on fire, you always take the edge off! Great job! I left Twitter (not ever going to call it by its Nazi name) when I knew I could follow you here!

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Mombeka's avatar

#1 my dad used to say “anyhoo”

My dad was a genius

Therefore you must be a genius.

#2 the only reason I don’t delete this app is because of you. Happy 2nd anniversary on SubStack!

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Maui Wahine's avatar

He gave away the plan by talking about what he and the Speaker are cooking up to try to throw the election to the House.

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James Starr's avatar

yes he did,,,and is the secret service listening and taking notes?

How about the DOJ? Merrick Garland is still in a coma...

what about the CIA? The Pentagon?

Anyone out there listening to this abomination going down before our eyes to illegally take over the country? We need plans to counter react to this monster

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

Harris has literally hundreds of attorneys ready to combat what will be a legal battle all the way to SCOTUS.

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James Starr's avatar

SCOTUS will get the final say.

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Marie Drozdis's avatar

I'm hoping we have an election blowout that no one can challenge. I don't want the Supreme's dirty hands on my Freedoms.

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Kathy Gnoffo's avatar

He can't keep his mouth shut!

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Because drumph is a four year old child…

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Joan LaRose's avatar

I can’t wait to read your reaction to this bonanza of fear, hatred and misogyny that the MAGA cult glorifies in yesterday. Hopefully they’ll pay the price at the polls. Hopefully enough people have NIT voted yet. I live in a state that’s so blue we are discounted from any discussion about the presidential race and so my vote doesn’t carry the same weight as say, someone from PA. But vote I will!

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Mombeka's avatar

I live in Honolulu. We’re extremely blue and also the City and County of Honolulu is corrupt as fuck. AND by the time our votes are counted the election has usually been called. Things are complicated here. I’m a “Lincoln Project” voter. Independent leaning Center Right. Now I’m politically homeless. At least things are simple in 2024. As @TheRickWilson says “It’s America or Trump.”

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Old joke: a foreigner asks an American what the difference is between the two parties. "Well, you have to understand that there is a difference also between the national level and the local level. On the national level, the Republicans are the party of corruption and the Democrats are the party of incompetence, but on the local level, it's the other way around."

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Kathy Gnoffo's avatar

Please include how they are distancing themselves, because "they had no idea" what that POS was going to say.

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Gregg R's avatar

You are a much needed and much appreciated daily source of well-aimed sarcasm, derision, and overarching Chuck U. Farley to all those dopes we loathe and detest. Keep Going and Happy Birthday, Jeff!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff: without you folks, I’d just be shouting into the wind

Us: without you, Jeff, we'd be howling at the moon.🐺💙🌙💙🐺

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Teri's avatar

This!! Enjoy a day off. Thanks for this uplifting community Jeff. Your posts help keep me

balanced in these insane times. Happy 2nd Birthday! 🎂

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Debbie  Mitchell's avatar

I came late to the game but I’m glad I finally found you and your potty mouth🤣❤️

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Gina's avatar

a little howling now and then though...

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I just started working on a new humor substack last night. Had no idea that the anniversary of Jeff Substack was today. What a coincidence! My first post turns out to be “All About Jeff."

https://neelthakrebew.substack.com/p/gop-freaks-out

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Robert R's avatar

Just peeked at your new post ….that pic of Jeff in the bathroom is a ringer for myself in my bourbon 🥃 days after a two week bender 🥴😂 it really startled me ! 😳😅🤣that’s one of the reasons I gave up hard booze 🥃! No offense Jeff !😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Perfectly said Kathleen.!

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Louise Bowes's avatar

Amen sister

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Thanks so much for sticking with your Substack experiment. I look forward to your columns and the back and forth with other readers. And where else can I write "fuck/fuckers/fuckery/motherfuckers"? Happy second b-day. Can't wait for the rally post. I knew it would be a shitshow, but the Nazis exceeded my expectations.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!!!

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Steve Lord's avatar

Exactly. As Bunk and Jimmy said, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

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Teri's avatar

The Wire!!!! Thanks! My postcards are done so I've been wondering how to unplug till Nov 5. Rewatching this excellent series will keep my brain focused. Years ago I saw a guy wearing an old, worn out "Omar's Comin'!" t-shirt. Almost drove onto the curb!

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James Starr's avatar

haha yessss, I'll always remember Jeff-isms.

Donald Trump's brain has gone fuckity bye-bye !! 😂🙌

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Robert Eckert's avatar

WWII-era joke: an officer is driving down the road and sees a soldier kicking his broken-down Jeep. "What seems to be the trouble, soldier?"

"The fucking fucker's fucked, sir!"

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Lisa59's avatar

Right!! I feel like I found my people. 😊 And I want to thank all the writers here that tolerate my grammar and punctuation mistakes. 🙏 Thank you.

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

I just wish I was as funny as some of you guys! 😂

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Lisa59's avatar

It's a curse. If I can't make someone laugh and think at the same time, I have failed. My life's mission. 😇😉

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

There are worse curses to have! 😉😎

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Lisa59's avatar

I can entertain myself. 😂😂

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Chet Brandt's avatar

I hope I denied two Maga fuckstains seats at the MSG Nazi rally as per your link Dave. I did notice a lot of uniformed fireman at the rally…

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D Kitterman's avatar

Aspirations count!

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Robert R's avatar

Hang around it’s contagious!😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

My keyboard fuckery is documented Lisa, while your writing is always well dug!!

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Lisa59's avatar

Thanks, buddy. 🤗

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Fuck every single one of those unctuous derps aka Nazi’ wastrels at MSG last night!

Happiest of Birthdays to you Jeff and everyone here!!

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JOEL's avatar

SCUM RACIST, ANTISEMITE HINCHCLIFFE is represented by United Talent Agency. After watching a video of his speech at fraud Trump's Nazi rally at MSG, I sent this email to United Talent Agency......

From: JOEL <joel@me.com>

Subject: TONY HINCHCLIFFE - Comedy Inquiry

Date: October 27, 2024 at 9:30:12 PM PDT

To: ComedyInquiries@unitedtalent.com

Get rid of piece of shit racist antisemite Hinchcliffe. He is pure scum.

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Susan Keefer's avatar

Happy Birthday to you Jeff for writing something that I now can’t live without! 🎂🇺🇸💙

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Mombeka's avatar

“Committed a journalism” 🤣😂😅🥹🥸😎

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Ben Smith's avatar

View from the outside: I keep forgetting the time difference between the UK and US and sit in frustrating anticipation waiting for your hilarious emails to hit my inbox, but the wait is certainly worth it. I'm really proud and grateful to be part of this great community you have created here. Please keep going for as long as there is something to rant about. oh, and Happy Fucking Birthday!

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TCinLA's avatar

Write it and they will come.

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Monica Maio's avatar

You literally get me through the day sometimes. Your wit, during this awful time in our country, is such a gift. Thank you for what you do.

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Jill Palethorpe's avatar

Never apologize, never explain. You have saved the sanity of many and for that you deserve champagne as well as cake! p.s. I always thought it was Disraeli who came up with the Never apologize quote but apparently not. I include the Wikipedia explanation because the last sentence sounds just like you! "Innocence would preclude apology. An Oxford thing, perhaps: the adage “Never apologize, never explain” is often attributed to the nineteenth-century Oxford scholar Benjamin Jowett, who supposedly added, “Get it over with and let them howl.”

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Mombeka's avatar

There’s also the motto of Scotland

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland

Which loosely translates as “Fuck around and find out” My relatives up in Aberdeenshire absolutely loathe and detest he-who-shall-not-be-named. I’m not sure we have the wry tongue of Mr.Tiedrich however. But we are good at cursing 😈

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Laura Durnell ♿️ ♀️'s avatar

I tried watching it with a migraine and had to turn it off because it made my migraine worse. I woke up at 1 a.m. this morning ready to cry and couldn't fall back to sleep. I hugged my daughter tightly after she got ready for school and fought not to cry. Even though I wrote 500 Georgia voter post cards, phone banked, contributed money to the Harris campaign, and phone banked, I still feel I haven't done enough. Evil. That's what we are battling.

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Maui Wahine's avatar

You are doing so much. Thank you!!

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DR Darke's avatar

I'm...shocked!

Yes, SHOCKED! That the NY TIMES actually did what they were supposed to do and reported, with all the bark off, that Trump's Madison Square Garden rally was a Hatriot Fest of Bigoted Madman Hate....

Boy, A.G. Schulzberger must really be getting to hate that locker they stuffed him into until after the election by now.

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Steve Lord's avatar

As Jimmy McNulty once said, in perhaps one of the best pieces of physical acting ever -

Fuckety fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.

FWIW I couldn't believe the Times actually ran that 96-point font front page of the editorial section. I had to look and search online a couple of times before I accepted that they had actually done it.

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DR Darke's avatar

It does beggar belief, doesn't it?

I honestly thought it was satire....

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

😅😅 good one.

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A.J. Madison's avatar

Hey Jeff. Your line about the NYT committing some journalism had this line pop into my head:

Dammit, I just stepped into some WaPo journalism.

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Kay-El's avatar

Happy Fucking Birthday and many more. Love this community of goddamn potty mouths and massive intelligence. I’d be banging my head against the wall without it.

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Burke's avatar

Did Nikki miss this event? No coverage if she did. I had a dream last night that Nikki had a "brain smart" and showed up at a Harris event with a big wooden stake and sledge hammer. And she yelled "This is the stake in the heart of Trump World!" And then endorsed Harris with a glowing speech. "Put a stake in the fascist Donnie Trump movement. It's over!" And announced that she is the leader of the new, Non-Trump, Republican Party.

Nikki probably doesn't have the balls for this. But she has bigger balls than Donnie, for sure.

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Burke's avatar

Jeff--please address this issue: Where is Nikki? Her voters could put Kamala over the top in a lot of states.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

That’s soooo funny- NYT’s actually committed a “journalism” 😂😂😂😂

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Many happy days to come, my brother! You help us all hang in there.

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Johanna Park's avatar

Man, that’s even an understatement. 62 year old mental health therapist here, and I start my day reading Jeff’s column (it comes out early in Hawaii). It’s like a tether to a sane world.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Yes...well put Johanna.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

You got it Susan!

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Megan Ross's avatar

Absolutely!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Same reason, same place. 🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽

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Megan Ross's avatar

Boy howdy! He's kept me sane.

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Michelle Vancura's avatar

I look forward to reading your Substack every day, and particularly love your Saturday roundup of this week in stupid! You’re the best, Jeff! Keep up the great work!!

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Cindy Watter's avatar

Happy birthday! I love the comments, too. You are a real morale booster, and that includes the profanity. Now let’s help our people over the finish line.

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SuNew's avatar

Jeff and Community - Happy Birthday and thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

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Kerry Truchero's avatar

Jeff, you are a breath of fresh air! As opposed to the nasty, turdish whiffs expelled into the air by the fart-spewing bought-and-paid-for “news” media. Happy Anniversary. May you continue to fuck them right off to Fuckoffistan.

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Gayna's avatar

Happy Birthday to a truly gifted and witty writer. You get me through some of my most sad days with regard to our country and I hope you don’t stop anytime soon because even if (hoping) Kamala wins, those lunatics will keep

It up until the fucker is finally unable to speak any longer when his dementia progresses to the next stage and it will—I have no doubt.

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JsuttraL's avatar

It’s nice to be 2 again. Now…where is the blissful unawareness that comes along with the age?

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SuNew's avatar

I have the tantrums covered. 🤣

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JsuttraL's avatar

🤣

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Kimmy's avatar

My two year old thinks she knows everything. Some blissful unawareness would be welcome right now to put little Miss sassy pants back in her place 😂. Then again, she is light years ahead of most of the morons discussed in this column, so at least she has that going for her.

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Gail Dragoo's avatar

I consider your valuable newsletter the most important one on Substack. You’re a really smart guy, do tons of research, and throw in humor as well. I look forward to it every day. Happy 2nd! Big fan, here! Take the day off!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Jeff - we all feel like we are shouting into the wind! You just shout in a far more interesting manner that stimulates some serious thought in your readers. Kudos and thanks for an interesting read I look forward to every day!

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Don Shave's avatar

Those amongst us who quietly give a shit are blessed by you! Congrats on the anniversary 🍷🍷

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P123Sunny's avatar

🥃🥃

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

Are you kidding me now? The name is what attracted me to read you in the first place. I love it! I had no idea this 73 yo grandma could find such an inclusive and enlightening group of like minded and yes, potty mouthed peeps, as I’ve found here. Thank you Jeff and thank you to all the other commenters who I’ve been lucky enough to interact with! I feel like we’re friends!

Always my first read in the morning! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳

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SeekingReason's avatar

Happy 2nd b-day! Thank you for providing this incredible writing that represents what we are thinking but haven’t put it to paper. The comical flair is a life saver! It really is a must-read to start my day!

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Ingrid Robertshaw's avatar

Dear Jeff! Happy Birthday! I read you a few years ago on Twitter. I realized that your words really riled me up the RIGHT WAY. All that WHITWASHED BS from the News outlets left me upset and really pissed off. I thought that a girl like me ..in my late 80's ..needs firey ,feisty words to make it to 90. Hell..! I am getting there! So, thank you again!!! Keep on!!!

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

I’m not far behind you, Ingrid. Us octogenarians have chosen the right Substack to follow. See, with age comes wisdom!

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Karla K's avatar

Thank you for all the work you put into each day's writing. It's helping me feel like I'm not alone in my stress about this upcoming election.

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Gina N.'s avatar

Definitely not alone...

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Joni Wells's avatar

What would we do without you?! Love ya Jeff!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

There’s a lot of love coming your way Jeff, enjoy a day off!

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D Kitterman's avatar

As I mentioned earlier this year, there is a bird in my yard that sings "tied-er-rik, tied-er-rik, tied-er-rik", and sometimes it is "tied-rik, tied-rik, tied-rik". It took awhile to figure out what bird that was, because I throw food out for so many, but one day, very early, I heard it and zeroed in on the House Wren broadcasting your name.

ALWAYS makes me smile, happy, and heart-full, just like your missives.

Happy Well-Deserved Anniversary, Jeff.

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D Kitterman's avatar

And salutations to Ms. Spouse, too. You must be a handful.

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Tess's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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P123Sunny's avatar

😂

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