ha fucking ha — Truth Social is a disaster and Donald Trump just lost a billion dollars

break out the tiny violin

in 1995, with his usual accordion-hands bullshit fanfare, Little Donny Fuckface announced that he was taking Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts public. it was going to be huge — the best stock — maybe the greatest stock of all time. big strong investment bankers, with tears of gratitude pooling in their eyes, came up to Trump and said “sir! sir! thank you for giving us this opportunity to make godzillions of dollars.”

the Gordon Gekkos of the day rushed to snap up every available share — because they forgot about the part where everything Trump touches dies. Donny’s clownfuck mismanagement, along with the usual business of Trump stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down and skimming money off the top, led to the price of the stock eventually plummeting from a high of $35 dollars to a low of 17 cents a share.

Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts finally died a merciful bankrupt death in 2004.

all of which makes it super fucking hilarious to watch it happen all over again.

Trump’s net worth plunges $1 billion as his media stock tumbles

Shares of Truth Social owner Trump Media & Technology Group plunged Monday after the company disclosed that it lost more than $58 million and generated very little revenue in 2023. Former President Donald Trump is the company’s majority shareholder, and his net worth tumbled by more than $1 billion Monday as a result.

oh dear.

here’s what happened: Trump Media and Technology Group filed a financial report yesterday, and revealed that Truth Social, Donny’s crappy twitter clone, is a radioactive disaster.

Trump Media and Technology Group, which operates the Truth Social platform, reported it lost $58.2 million in 2023 while generating total revenues of $4.1 million, according to the Monday filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Trump Media listed its largest expense for the year as interest payments totaling more than $39 million.

The filing includes a note from an independent accounting firm, Colorado-based BF Borgers CPA PC, warning that Trump Media’s “operating losses raise substantial doubt about its ability to continue as a going concern.”

let’s read that again, because it’s fucking awesome. “Trump Media’s operating losses raise substantial doubt about its ability to continue as a going concern.”

you’ll never guess how Wall Street reacted:

but seriously, what did they expect? the whole business of placing an $8 billion valuation on a company with under $5 million in revenue was insane from the get-go. once again, Wall Street got snookered by a greasy con-man in a cheap suit who went bankrupt running casinos.

do these credulous dopes ever pick up a newspaper? you could be forgiven for falling for Donny’s bullshit in the 1990s — his track record of theft and bluffery wasn’t as well known as it is now — but come on. fool you for the seventeenth fucking time, shame on you.

Truth Social is basically a niche app run on a shoestring and a ghost town shunned by all but the most die-hard MAGA cultists.

Trump Media, which makes money through advertising on Truth Social, has struggled to gain a broad audience after two years of operation, according to estimates from the online analytics firm SimilarWeb. On the company’s first day of public trading last week, Truth Social’s website saw its highest-traffic day of the month, with roughly 277,000 U.S. visitors, the estimates show.

That is a small fraction of most online platforms: On that same day, the discussion-board service Reddit saw more than 32 million U.S. visitors, the estimates show. Reddit, which went public a few days before Trump Media and is trading at a similar stock price, generated $800 million in revenue last year, or more than 200 times Trump Media’s 2023 revenue.

and this is what Wall Street valued at eight billion dollars? oh please.

but of course as with All Things Donny, Truth Social was never intended to be an actual business, with profits being shared by corporate officers and investors. it’s meant to be a money-laundering operation — with Donald J. Trump as the sole beneficiary.

The key attribute of DJT is that it’s publicly traded. Trump can sell a bunch of shares, and whichever foreign autocrat needs a favor from him can swoop in and buys those shares. No sneaky, backroom dealing required. It will take place out in plain sight. In fact, that’s required. As the major shareholder and officer of DJT, Trump must issue a formal announcement whenever he’s intending to sell some of his shares. Which, in his case, is kind of like taking out an ad proclaiming, Who Wants to Get on My Good Side? Now’s Your Chance!

however, it’s hard to launder money through a company that’s gone tits-up — and as Trump’s own auditors reported yesterday, “operating losses raise substantial doubt about its ability to continue as a going concern.”

wait, where’s that tiny violin again?

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a bunch of other shit went down yesterday.

Donny got his gag order in the Big Election Fraud Hush Money Fuckery Trial extended to include the judge’s family.

The New York judge overseeing Donald J. Trump’s criminal trial later this month expanded a gag order on Monday to bar the former president from attacking the judge’s family members, who in recent days have become the target of Mr. Trump’s abuse.

how did Donny take the news? you’ll never fucking guess.

I just was informed that another corrupt New York Judge, Juan Merchan, GAGGED me so that I can not talk about the corruption and conflicts taking place in his courtroom with respect to a case that everyone, including the D.A., felt should never have been brought. They can talk about me, but I can’t talk about them??? That sounds fair, doesn’t it? This Judge should be recused, and the case should be thrown out. There has virtually never been a more conflicted judge than this one. ELECTION INTERFERENCE at its worst!

you do you, Donny.

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the Presidential Pants-Steamer is going to appear as a witness for the prosecution.

Hope Hicks, once considered one of Donald Trump’s closest confidantes and most trusted aides, is expected to be called to testify at his criminal trial related to hush money payments, according to a source familiar with the case.

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and Florida is being Florida again, in the most Florida way possible.

The Florida Supreme Court on Monday paved the way for the state’s six-week abortion ban to take effect, while allowing Floridians to decide in the fall whether to enshrine abortion protections in the state’s constitution.

By upholding Florida’s current 15-week ban on abortion, the state Supreme Court triggered a six-week abortion ban approved by Florida lawmakers last year. The law will take effect in 30 days.

but there was one sliver of silver lining.

But in a separate ruling, the court approved the wording of a proposed state constitutional amendment that would protect the right to an abortion in Florida, clearing it to go on the ballot as Amendment 4 this November when it could potentially undo both bans. Constitutional amendments in Florida need the support of at least 60% of voters to be approved.

well done, forced-birth fuckfaces — you’ve managed to piss off the majority of women in your state, and now you’re going to endure a beat-down at the polls this November.

as I never tire of saying, Republicans should be forced to carry their shitty legislation to term — even if it endangers the life of the party.

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.