grand theft paint chips worst crime since assault with a deadly sandwich

once again, it’s all so fucking stupid

Jun 22, 2026

the thing about Donny’s Reflecting Pool debacle is that everyone can see with their own eyes just how badly he’s fucked up.

this isn’t like some don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war half a world away, or some loony policy decision whose ruinous effects won’t come to light for months or years.

no, this one’s a huge clownfucked mess, and it’s right there in front of everyone’s faces.

and so Donny’s decided to solve this self-inflicted disaster in the most Donny way possible: by declaring that if you touch his beloved Pool, you’re going to jail for a millionty skillion years.

The United States Park Police have arrested multiple individuals for vandalizing our Nations magnificent Reflecting Pool. Who would do such a thing? These are very serious crimes having to do with the destruction of National Monuments. Years in jail! Work will begin immediately on its repair. President DJT

years in jail! make them do hard labor! feed them bread and water! off with their fucking heads!

let’s be crystal clear here: nobody is vandalizing Dear Leader’s big watery shitpile. that’s a fever-swamp hallucination that exists only inside Donny’s waterlogged head.

nobody is doing this. nobody is going down the the Atifa store and buying the biggest goddamned Antifa knife they can, and the heading over to the Pool — which has 24-hour live cameras directed at it seven days a week — and somehow slashing the shit out of it, and then making a clean getaway, without being seen.

what people are being carted away in handcuffs for is touching the paint chips that have already broken off, or fishing them out of the water.

one person charged told The Post he touched the peeling paint but did not cause damage. Another was heard telling officers she pulled a piece of floating paint out of the water.

what an excellent use of law enforcement time and resources, nailing people for the heinous crime of Grand Theft Paint Chips — all because the colicky piss-baby in the Oval Bordello can’t ever take responsibility for his own fuck-ups.

it’s all so fucking stupid and childish. nonetheless, America’s tipsiest US Attorney was all over Fox News yesterday, vowing to prosecute any miscreant or ne’er-do-well who even looks at the Reflecting Pool funny.

“these are cases that will be prosecuted to the full extent. if there are more serious products that are put into the Reflecting Pool to create more algae, or a bigger problem, then we’ll consider more serious charges. but make no mistake: making DC beautiful is a priority, and if you damage, vandalize, or do anything to impact something like the Reflecting Pool, you can be prosecuted.”

once again: nobody is doing this. nobody is vandalizing the Pool. nobody is putting ‘products’ into the pool to ‘create more algae.’ they don’t even sell that shit at the Antifa store. I just checked.

Jeanine Pirro — who was appointed to her job because she’s loyal, not because she’s competent (or sober) — is going to prosecute innocent people who did nothing wrong, just to please Dear Leader.

this is so dumb. this is the Sandwich Guy all over again.

remember the Sandwich Guy? he was the dude who got arrested for lobbing his lunch at a DC cop.

Tipsy McBoxwine was so super fucking horny to make an example out of Sandwich Guy that she dressed up in Holstein cow cosplay to moo loudly about how she was going to prosecute the shit out of him.

remember what happened next? she tried to get a grand jury to indict Sandwich Guy for felony assault, and the grand jurors were all ‘are you kidding us, Jeanine? it’s a fucking sandwich.’

most prosecutors would have let it go after that, but because Pirro is apparently as big a glutton for self-humiliation as Dear Leader is, she then charged Sandwich Guy with a misdemeanor, and wasted taxpayer money on a pointless, three-day trial.

spoiler alert: Sandwich Guy got acquitted, because it was a fucking sandwich, Jeanine.

and now, here were are all over again. Pirro is going to waste government resources and money on pointless show trials, and fuck with the lives of innocent people — and in the end, all these people are going to walk free, because it’s fucking paint chips, Jeanine.

let’s recap just how the fuck we got here.

Donny invented an imaginary problem where none existed, and then bragged that he was the only person in the world who could solve it. without bothering to consult a single expert, he handed a juicy contract worth millions to an incompetent crony, who did a slapdash job that went way over budget. then, without waiting to see what the actual results were, he praised himself and took a victory lap. when it all blew up in his big, dumb pumpkin face, he hired some other unqualified crony to implement a ‘fix’ that just made the everything worse — at which point he started blaming everyone else and whining about how it was all a conspiracy against him. so unfair! so unfair!

if all that sounds familiar, that’s because it is. this is the same template Donny applies to every single one of his fuck-ups, whether it’s a bankrupt casino or a botched don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran.

and now, Donny has the National Guard ‘protecting’ his fugly green Pool, because of course he does.

that’s Donny’s ultimate solution to everything, to turn America in a police state.

lucky us.

we haven’t had a Hero of the Day for a while, so let’s have one now: the person or persons posting on Instagram as vjaybombs.

they’ve been projecting awesome images all over DC. check this out.

my favorite is Nosferatu McGoebbels as a bat, projected onto the Lincoln Monument.

the link to the original video on Instagram is here. go show them some love.

let’s do us some Daily Claudia.

here’s Ms Spouse at the Peekskill waterfront on September 5, 2016.

and here she is in the backyard, amused by something, on April 4, 2020.

have a great Monday, everyone. keep your goddamned Antifa hands off Donny’s beloved pool.

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.