fuck the polls — Republicans just got their asses handed to them

Republicans, you’re on notice: people are fed up with your bullshit

well, that was one satisfying bloodbath. Republicans just got the living shit kicked out of them in Ohio, Kentucky, Virginia and elsewhere.

in Ohio, voters overwhelmingly backed a measure protecting abortion rights.

A proposal to enshrine abortion rights in Ohio’s Constitution was approved in a statewide election Tuesday, with a significant number of Republicans joining with Democrats to ensure the measure’s passage.

establishment Republicans had made a bet — and that bet went something like this: women’s anger over the Dobbs decision will fade, and the ladies will go back to obsessing over shoes and deciding what to make hubby for dinner.

pro tip, assholes: the anger is never going to fade.

oh, and Ohio also legalized weed. spark a big fattie in celebration, potheads.

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in Kentucky, Governor Andy Beshear handily won reelection.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) — Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear won reelection to a second term Tuesday, notching another significant statewide victory in an increasingly red state that could serve as a model for other Democrats on how to thrive politically heading into next year’s defining presidential election.

Beshear’s opponent was Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron, whose main selling point seemed to be “what if Donald Trump were a black man who crimed less.” voters were all, nah bro.

“Daniel Cameron was a rising star in the Republican Party until he decided to throw his lot in with Donald Trump,” Christie said. “I mean, let’s face it: Donald Trump is political and electoral poison down ballot.”

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the biggest fucking loser of the night was Glenn Youngkin.

Youngkin’s another one of these dudes whose whole deal is “what if Donald Trump spoke softly and had good table manners,” and oh my god, does our media ever eat that shit up.

the press is absolutely fucking horny for Glenn Youngkin. they root so hard for him to win. check out the kind of love letters they write:

As Mr. Youngkin bounds into the hall in his signature red vest — smile beaming, cheeks ruddy from the wind — he radiates the upbeat, hunky-P.T.A.-dad vibe that helped carry him to victory in 2021. His voice ranges from an urgent whisper to a gargly rasp as he raves not about his personal grievances or some vision of American carnage, but about the “common sense” plans he and his party have for Virginia.

“cheeks ruddy from the wind” — “the upbeat, hunky-P.T.A.-dad vibe.” are you fucking serious?

Youngkin has been trying like hell to bring the MAGA agenda to Virginia, and up to now the only thing standing in his way has been the Democratic-controlled State Senate.

and so ruddy-cheeked hunky-dad Youngkin spent a shitload of money — and did a fuckload of voter suppression — in an effort to oust enough Democrats to flip the Senate and enable him to do all kinds of wonderful and amazing things like outlaw abortion.

but the voters were all “fuck you, you’re going to do none of that shit” and not only did they preserve the Democratic Senate majority, they flipped Virginia’s House of Delegates from red to blue.

Virginia voters resoundingly rejected Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin’s costly efforts to take control of the General Assembly in Tuesday’s elections, according to unofficial results — flipping the House of Delegates to Democratic control and preserving a blue majority in the state Senate that can block his conservative agenda and prevent Republicans from tightening limits on access to abortion.

and now Youngkin’s entire ruddy-cheeked extremist agenda is effectively dead in the water — and, one hopes, so are his presidential aspirations.

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oh, and in Pennsylvania, this happened:

Holy fuck. In the 75% Republican, racist right wing county in which I grew up, the school board where I went and my mom taught had an all-out fight between a slate of screaming about CRT, transphobic, book banning nazis and five Dems. The Dems swept all five fucking seats.

nice. more like this, please.

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and in New York City, one of the five innocent black men who Donald Trump wanted to execute won a seat on the City Council.

Exonerated ‘Central Park Five’ member Yusef Salaam wins New York City Council seat
Salaam, a Democrat, will represent a central Harlem district on the City Council, having run unopposed for the seat.

how do you like them apples, Donny? Salaam’s in government and you’re the one who’s up to your neck in legal shit. go chuck a ketchup bottle, fuckface.

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Republicans, you’re on notice: people are fed the fuck up with your bullshit.

keep pushing your anti-woman, anti-education, anti-LGBTQ+, anti-worker, anti-immigrant agenda in the faces of voters.

keep shouting incoherently about “critical race theory.” keep outlawing drag shows. keep banning The Diary of Anne Frank.

and above all, keep forcing ten-year-olds to carry their rapists’ babies.

see where it gets you.

go ahead, make our day.