fork over $364 million, you fraudulent fuck

settle in as we explore the shit-blizzard of financial ruin that’s about to bury Trump

“A lack of contrition that borders on pathological.”
— Judge Arthur Engoron

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so, the shit finally hit the fan. yesterday afternoon, Judge Engoron dropped the hammer and found Little Donny Fuckface, his two shithole sons — Individual-1 Junior and The Dumb One — and skeevy accountant Allen Weisselberg liable to the tune of 364 million bucks.

additionally, Trump is forbidden from heading any New York-based corporation for three years, and is forbidden from receiving loans from New York banks.

I don’t know what happened here. Donny had a foolproof strategy of acting like a childish asshole during the trial — sighing, waving his arms, keeping up a running commentary, and occasionally bolting from the courtroom — and somehow all this failed to charm the judge.

maybe it was all the times Trump called Engoron a socialist maniac that failed to win the day.

or maybe it’s simply that Donny is a life-long conman and fraudster, and he finally got caught.

settle in as we explore the shit-blizzard of financial ruin that’s about to bury Trump.

first of all, the cash Trump has to come up with is a lot more than $364 mil. it’s actually closer to $450 million.

you see, interest on the judgement accrues from when the fraud occurred — not from the time of the trial. so Trump is already on the hook for interest going back years.

As for the financial totals above, even these numbers don’t capture the actual total.

With pre-judgment interest, Trump is looking at something more like $450 million.

I just calculated that with New York’s state-mandated 9% interest (simple not compound).

and oh wait — we almost forgot about the millions he now owes to the woman he raped, E. Jean Carroll. ok, let’s factor that in.

Donald Trump lost $364 million today to the state of New York, which has since turned out to be $453 million with interest. Trump also recently lost $83 million to E. Jean Carroll. That’s a combined $536 million, more than a half a billion dollars.

Trump doesn’t have half a billion in cash lying around — and he’s forbidden to borrow money from banks — so he’s going to have to sell some of his vermin-infested properties.

The crown jewels of the Trump Organization are his Manhattan skyscrapers: Trump Tower (valued at roughly $117 million according to Forbes), Trump Park Avenue (valued at $135.8 million in 2020) and 40 Wall Street (pegged at $220 million by a professional appraiser in 2012). While it's unlikely he would move to sell these buildings out of his nearly two dozen residential, commercial and resort properties, they could feasibly cover the judgments depending on how appraisers would view them in 2024.

The Independent delved into other appraisals for some of Trump’s other pricey properties outside of New York City, including his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida, which is valued at roughly $20 million. The NY AG’s office cited a figure of $56 million for his Seven Springs property in Westchester County, New York (just north of the city).

oh, and there’s also a court-appointed monitor, Barbara Jones, who will oversee all of Trump’s future financial transactions. Donny can’t do shit without first asking her pretty-please if it’s ok.

Instead of seeking her forgiveness when they submit any financial documents to an outside entity, the Trumps will have to ask for her permission.

That means the Trumps may not even have the authority to shift around money to fight this massive court order without asking Jones for her approval.

don’t cry, Donny — we’re throwing in this tiny violin for free.

it looks as if Trump is fucked-er than fucked, so is it any wonder that he spent the evening melting straight the fuck down on his crappy app?

This Election Interference and tyrannical Abuse of Power by a Crooked Judge and Crooked Attorney General cannot be tolerated. My case was already won in the Appellate Division, and more than 80% of the frivolous claims were wiped out. Yet, as I suspected, and in order to hurt me and the Republican Party politically, Crooked and Corrupt Judge Arthur Engoron ignored his loss at the Appellate Division, and came up with an outrageous $355 Million Dollar fine against me. Using a statute that has never been applied like this before, the Corrupt Judge conspired with the Crooked Attorney General, Letitia James, and punished a liquid and beautiful Corporate Empire that started in New York, and has been successful all around the world…..

does anyone have any idea what Trump is yammering about? he keeps talking about how his case was “was already won in the appellate division.”

no it wasn’t. Trump hasn’t won shit. Trump is a fucking loser. is this just some bedtime story that his parking garage lawyers tell him to keep him from stroking out?

don’t worry, Donny. you actually won. now here’s your binky, it’s time for beddy-bye.

hey — speaking of parking garage lawyers, look who’s still alive and kicking. it’s Alina Habba! apparently Trump can’t find anyone to replace her so she’s still going on Newsmax and stupiding at a mile a minute.

“the damages and restitution should go to Donald Trump. president Trump has been in three years of fights with Miss James and her team, and he didn’t do anything wrong.”

yeah, no. that’s not how this works, Little Ms Can’t Fake Smart. that’s not how any of this works.

now let’s take a look at what the most-gullible dumb-asases in the universe are up to.

oh look, they’ve started a go-fund-me to bail out Dear Leader’s ass.

hey, they’ve already raised $12,204 to keep their cult leader from having to rummage through skid row trash cans in search of his next meal.

keep it up, clowns. you only have $354,987,796 to go!

Donald Trump is a vainglorious moron who did this to himself. he could have lived in the shadows and quietly continued to launder Russian mob money and lie to banks for the rest of his life, and no one would have been the wiser. but he had to put himself under the bright lights of the most visible job in the world, and crime so flagrantly that people naturally started digging around.

remember, though — the violin’s free.