first they came for the white people, and I didn’t speak out— because what in the stupidest fuck ever

your Sunday shitwit round-up

it may be Christmas Week in America, but dumbfuckery never takes a day off. yesterday was so chock full of stupid that who even knows where to start? we’re just going to have to spin the Big Wheel of Moron once again, and see where it lands. ready? here we go.

oh, lucky us. the damned thing landed on Vice President Couchfuck McGee.

is there some kind of Nobel Prize for being repellent? could we get FIFA maybe to work on one? because our favorite furniture fornicator would be a lock to win such a thing — hands-down, year after year.

Couchfuck was at Turning Point’s ‘Americafest’ yesterday. check out the word-adjacent mouth-sounds that seeped out of the doughy pantload’s face.

“in the United States of America you don’t have to apologize for being white anymore.”

oh, thank god. finally — all those centuries of oppression are over for white people.

what the fuck is JD gibbering about? ‘I can’t believe I had to apologize for being white,’ said no white person ever — because it’s not a thing.

white people have been at the top of America’s food chain since day one — and yet, no one ever went broke selling MAGA on the fever-swamp fantasy that it’s the white people who are the real victims. it’s the easiest grift in the world. just tell these shitwits that all their problems are the fault of immigrants, or women, or the transgendered, and they’ll shut their brains and open their wallets.

Couchfuck’s Hindu wife Usha sure looks thrilled to be married to a guy who eagerly tossed away his reputation as a well-respected author and embraced his inner Nazi.

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wow, CBS’ flagship news show 60 Minutes is doing a segment on that notorious Salvadoran slave-labor gulag that Donny’s fascist thugs have been disappearing innocent immigrants into.

check out the trailer.

“it began as soon as the planes landed. the deportees thought they were headed from the US back to Venezuela — but instead, they were shackled, paraded in front of cameras, and delivered to CECOT, the notorious maximum security prison in El Salvador, where they told 60 Minutes they endured four months of hell.”

holy shit, this looks awesome. Donny’s massive abuse of human rights is an important story, and we should all be looking forward to seeing it.

oh no, wait, we can’t see it — because hours before it was set to air yesterday evening, CBS yanked the episode from their broadcast schedule.

what the actual fuck?

here’s the actual fuck: the decision to shitcan the segment was made by Bari Weiss, the MAGAfied head of CBS News.

CBS announced the change three hours before the broadcast, a highly unusual last-minute switch. The decision was made after Bari Weiss, the new editor in chief of CBS News, requested numerous changes to the segment. CBS News said in a statement that the segment would air at a later date and “needed additional reporting.”

Bari was just doing the job that her corporate overlords at Paramount had hired her to do: ensure that anything critical of Dear Leader never sees the light of day.

But Sharyn Alfonsi, the veteran “60 Minutes” correspondent who reported the segment, rejected that criticism in a private note to CBS colleagues on Sunday, in which she accused CBS News of pulling the segment for “political” reasons.

no shit, the segment was pulled for political reasons. that’s the whole reason Bari Weiss was hired — to drag CBS News all the way to the extreme right, turning it into a sort of Fox News for people who know which fork is for salad.

even the once-respected Margaret Brennan has now been reduced to carrying water for Donny’s sewer clowns.

here’s Brennan yesterday, defending the DOJ’s Dead Pedo Bestie Files fuckery — and insulting the intelligence of her guests, Ro Khanna and Thomas Massie.

“this isn’t everything you asked for just yet, but would you acknowledge that they are complying with the spirit if not the intent of your law?”

oh come the fuck on, how can Brennan even ask such a question?

Jake Tapper, can you come in here for a second and show us what the Brennan considers ‘complying with the spirit of the law’?

the pre-Weiss Brennan would have never taken Donny’s side on any issue. she would have nailed Pam Bondi to the wall and ripped her several new ones. but she’s now traded her reputation as a serious journalist for a handful of Paramount’s magic beans. I hope it was worth it, Meg.

Weiss, CBS News and their new overlords at Paramount are being short-sighted — because when all this is over, we’re not going to forgive the institutions that failed us.

fascist regimes come, and fascist regimes go. when this current nightmare finally runs its course, no one is going to say ‘wasn’t it awesome how CBS slobbered all over Dear Leader’s shoes?’

the institutions we’re going to look back on with admiration will be the ones who stood up said ‘take your fascist bullshit and stick it where the sun don’t shine.’

and we’re going to fucking well remember who the cowards were.

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oh look, Bari Weiss isn’t finished with us. apparently, she wants to play a round of ‘easy questions, easy answers.’

“has feminism failed women?”

no. fuck no.

but CBS News has failed us all. congratulations, Bari, you’ve clownfucked CBS into irrelevancy.

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now let’s sit back for an episode of Gas Leak Theater with Ezra Klein and The New York Times.

“In @nytopinion: ‘A year ago, we kept hearing that Trump was cool. Is anyone saying that now?’ the columnist Ezra Klein writes.”

excuse me, who was saying Donny was cool, aside from Ezra Klein and his dipshit colleagues in the chattering class? was MAGA saying Donny’s cool? no one fucking listens to them. they wear diapers.

Ezra, you need to get out more. go talk to some real people for a change.

being a Times pundit must be the sweetest gig in the multiverse. it doesn’t matter how wrong you are. it doesn’t matter if your premise is as bone-headed as they come. just shit out whatever comes to mind, and boom! you’re a legend.

remember this abomination?

that was nine and a half years ago. Maureen Dowd still has her job, shitting her drek all over the Times op-ed page. yeah, let’s ask all those Venezuelan sailors how dovish Donny is. oh wait, we can’t.

but I digress. let’s address Ezra Klein’s premise, that Preznit Fuckwit is cool.

tell me, Ezra, is this cool?

maybe — just maybe — if you’re one of those invisible giraffes Donny never tires of jerking off, it’s cool. otherwise? yeesh.

now here’s cool:

can we get Dear Leader to flip a skateboard up into his own nuts? I’d pay good money to see it. we all would.

we could retire the national debt.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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