155 Comments

What the hell? Everyone knows rainbow Fentanyl is too strong for children! I'll be taking my kids to the tie dye heroin neighborhood where the doses are regulated, thank you very much.

Expand full comment

Love the satire and the much needed laugh. Thank you.

Expand full comment

I absolutely love this comment! Not the tie dye heroin neighborhood!lol

Expand full comment

LOL!!

Expand full comment

WHO THE HELL GIVES AWAY GOOD DRUGS.

Expand full comment

Ah! I miss the good old days when all we worried about was razor blades in apples. Like what kid would take an apple over candy.

Expand full comment

Yes, the razor blades in apples seem so quaint now.

Expand full comment

I was so little back when I first heard of razor blades in apples, 5 maybe 6 years old. My grandmother had my poor mother cut up any fruit we had in our Trick or Treat bags (which was 1 apple between us 4 kids). My response then was, “Who eats apples when there’s candy?” Dad still stole a few Snickers and Mom squirreled away a couple of Heath bars.

Expand full comment

Did you ever see proof of that? I didn't.

Expand full comment

And then followed by the HIV/AIDS scare of hypodermic needles stuck in movie theater seats. This kind of urban legend goes on and on and on and where it stops nobody knows....

Expand full comment

And it’s so easy to debunk if they 🎶 only had a brain 🎶

Expand full comment

I now have that song from the Wizard of Oz going through my head. 🎃

Expand full comment

Apologies for the ear worm

Expand full comment

No worries. It’s a good song!

Expand full comment

back in the day, my favorite treat on Halloween was candy apples. There was one house on my usual rounds that always had them. Years later, I moved into the house next door. And realized that my neighbor, who had been living there for donkey's years, was in fact the woman who passed out the candy apples.

Expand full comment

We were given home made stuff too plus the occasional nickel was always a welcome treat. This was when a pillowcase with eyes and mouth cut out was an acceptable costume.

Expand full comment

popcorn balls. Second favorite. And I used to bake cookies when I first started "homemaking".

Expand full comment

Right! They were dyed weird colors too, loved the popcorn balls!

Expand full comment

My mom wouldn’t let us eat anything homemade, or even candy corn that wasn’t in a herméticités sealed bag.

Expand full comment

my day was clearly way way back from yours. I'm talking the early 50s.

Expand full comment

We must be close in age. I remember getting homemade treats at Halloween, too.

Expand full comment

I wouldn't give candy corn to anyone. What a sorry excuse for candy.

Expand full comment

We didn’t mind throwing it out. We were bummed they didn’t give us real candy.

Expand full comment
Oct 31, 2023·edited Oct 31, 2023

I wonder if they realize that if the "estimated proportions" were right, then 30% of Texans would be left-handed LGBQT vegan unionist Muslims with guns...

Expand full comment
founding

😄

Expand full comment

🤣🤣🤣🤣 30% of Texans....

Nice dream. 🤣

Expand full comment

"Swarthy, cross- dressing, fentanyl toting immigrants..." OH FOR FUCKS SAKE !!!!! 🙄🙄🙄

And just how many women did Ed have in his "harem" that "The Blacks" were coming to get ? His women...???!!!

*jesusfuckingchrist*

Expand full comment
author

not really sure and it was a long time ago but I think Ed lived alone

Expand full comment

That's even better!!!🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

The fact that he might consider any sisters as “his women” creeps me out.

Expand full comment

Guardian of the tribe?

Expand full comment

Of course he did!🤦🏻‍♀️

Expand full comment

How Sad!!

And people actually vote for these Dildos

Expand full comment

And as long as they continue watching bullshit like Fox News, they will keep voting for the dildos.

Expand full comment

Rick Fox is not news

Fox is News as to The National Enquirer is to Journalism

Expand full comment

Did he have a cellar? YIKES!!!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment

Rainbow fentanyl, that’s so Halloween 2022. Fox must have pulled it from their “Unnecessary Scares” daily file.

Next up, “something something Thanksgiving”, and “THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS!”

Expand full comment

You beat me to the War on Christmas is almost upon us!

Expand full comment

Sadly, there actually is a War on Reality, and Faux News is waging it continually.

Expand full comment

It's their annual ritual.

Expand full comment

"how about some critical thinking, people?" Man, did you nail it. The Republicans want to keep people as unaware and dumb as possible. I mean, if people were able to clearly think and reason, then they'd wake up and see they're being had. 🤦‍♀️ The propaganda machine is winning over at Faux News...even when they ADMITTED "we lied to you", the gullible still watch that crap. I hope the Smartmatic lawsuit ruins them....or at least weakens them.

Expand full comment

Their only criteria is someone they can have a beer with.

Expand full comment

Most likely a coors or something equally as bad.

Expand full comment

HAHA In Missouri, they drink Natural Light. I cant make that up! 🤣

Expand full comment

Natural Light.... What the fuck does that even mean?

As opposed to Unnaturally Dark????

Expand full comment

😂😂. Ask Anhueser Busch. It’s crap beer! “ Natty Light”. 🤮

Expand full comment

It's going to get worse. Have you seen the stats on home schooling? It's now become — by a wide margin — America’s fastest-growing form of education. I despair over what that portents for the nation's future.

Expand full comment

Selfishly, I thank the gods of the universe that I'm old, gay, have no descendants, and personally won't have to find out. I'll be dust in the wind before any of that happens. Whew! Dodged that bullet!

Expand full comment

Portends. Wow, I learned that in public school! (Apologies for the snark.)

Expand full comment

Whoops, wrong thread! Sorry!

Expand full comment

Masters seems like the right age to have gone trick-or-treating at the mall because his parents were convinced the neighbors were putting razor blades in the apples and Ex-Lax in the chocolates.

Expand full comment

I can’t believe this raving loon, Blake Masters, is even running again for any office. Did he not figure out last time that the people don’t want him? He and Kari Lake should get married and retire to a commune for rejected candidates. What a bunch of losers.

Expand full comment

They should retire to a mental institution with lots of Thorazine

Expand full comment

This is what will happen to me if Trump wins in 2024. 😜

Expand full comment

I'll be right there with you!

Expand full comment

It’s good to know I’ll have company. 😆

Expand full comment

OHHH THE EXLAX!!!! I forgot about that treasure!!!

Expand full comment

Ahhh..hahaha! Exlax in chocolate?!! Wouldn’t that have involved a lot of unwrapping and wrapping back up?

Expand full comment

Totally worth it.

Expand full comment

My favorite one is that 30% live in NYC. 110 million people, seriously? It takes heavy drugs to rationalize that guess.

Expand full comment

They probably don’t need drugs because they’re high on stupidity, and Fox “News” is sort of like an addictive drug anyway.

Expand full comment

Fox news viewers tend to do math with an “e” instead of an “a”!

Expand full comment

Yep, that chart blew my mind.

Expand full comment

Me too.... what the hell??

Expand full comment

I’m guessing it’s the NY residents that think that since most don’t drive.

Expand full comment

If rainbow candy fentanyl WERE a thing, it wouldn't be spread by the drug dealers, much less immigrants--it would be the nut cases who tried, for their own reasons, to harm kids. The same nut cases that put poison in Tylenol bottles. Halloween as a time of attack on kids has been pretty thoroughly debunked. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoned_candy_myths.

The point of terrorism is to spread terror. It doesn't have to involve a physical attack to do so. These Fox Floggers are, in fact, terrorists. The agenda is to spread hate for political ends--note the use of the word "rainbow" to push a particular hate.

Expand full comment

I’m 83, so when we went trick or treating, we went right after school, in daylight and parents stayed home to give out candy to other kids. The butcher shop around the corner gave out cold hot dogs, and kids loved them. There was only one size candy bar in those days, so that’s what we got. No one ever checked our candy for needles or razor blades, and we all lived through it. Oh, and when the street lights went on, we had to go home immediately.

Expand full comment

If you ever want to see acrid smoke coming from the ears of a wingnut, as the two family brain cells rub furiously together, try this:

When they propose any nut prediction, ask them how they would tell if it didn’t come true.

The idea that someone might fact check their own thinking is so foreign that it makes them melt down in rage filled gibbers.

Expand full comment

Just imagine how crowded the subways would be if 30 percent of the US population really DID live in NYC...

Expand full comment

Today it's fentanyl in Halloween candy. Tomorrow it well be the War on Christmas.

Expand full comment

Right? What’s wrong with saying Happy Holidays? Not everyone celebrates Christmas and saying happy holidays is all encompassing to those who celebrate whatever they celebrate. Including Festivus

😂

Expand full comment

Festivus. For the restovus.

Expand full comment

Ah, the war on Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year

Expand full comment

Actually, isn't the worst poison in candy, bound to harm children, sugar?

Expand full comment

What Tiedrich Said. To infinity and beyond.

Expand full comment