153 Comments
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Robert J. Rei's avatar

The most excellent question of the decade- "how do these people get the fork to their mouth without stabbing themselves in the eye?"

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Wendy's avatar

The question I've started pondering is how did humanity ever collectively get pants on? Will christmas miracles never cease?

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Susan Burgess's avatar

I’d like to know who created pants in the first place. No small feat.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

Small feat slip in easier. Same for orange hands.

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TJTarheel's avatar

“Small” orange hands

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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

I see what you did there. FEET! HA!

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TJTarheel's avatar

I want to shake their hand but more I want to know who created bras, I want to slap their face!

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Susan Burgess's avatar

They need to be punished by making them wear one 24/7. Remember girdles?

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TJTarheel's avatar

☹️

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Mike Hammer's avatar

Maybe they had small feet so they could slip them on.

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HulitC's avatar

I always love when Jeff says

“how do these people get the fork to their mouth without stabbing themselves in the eye?" !!

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antlisa1201's avatar

That is a really good one 😆

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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

RUPRECHT!! Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) - Dinner With Ruprecht Scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKDX-qJaJ08

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PTW's avatar

Oh crap! You beat me to it, Sharon. Good thing I scrolled down the comments, as I was about to post this same clip.

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL!!!!!

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un poco loco's avatar

That's it -- perfect! Thank you!

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Oh !!! LOL!!!

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Dec 10, 2023
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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

Great movie!

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Sköll's avatar

At least now we know why Kevin McCarthy was needed to shovel spoonfuls of peas into Trump's mouth :/

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TJTarheel's avatar

They use sporks. No really.

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TJTarheel's avatar

They use sporks

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

Indeed!!!!

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Joey Jobaa's avatar

That was my Sunday fave

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Mark L's avatar

What makes you think they haven't?

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Linda Weide's avatar

I say, "will the adults in the room please stand up!"

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Dec 10, 2023
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Chet Brandt's avatar

Which is why NOTHING will get done in this Congress until after the 2024 election…..

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Dec 10, 2023
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Chet Brandt's avatar

I agree with you— will these idiots even know that the FAA NEEDS to be funded?? We just visited our son, who lives in Durango, and the way home is flying out of there as opposed to driving to Denver which we will not even attempt in good weather let alone winter weather. As a sidebar our son says Lauren Boobert is toast in the next election!

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Sköll's avatar

I am thinking about that... whatsitname GOP congressman from Texas with the eyepatch lol

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un poco loco's avatar

Oh, now there's an idea I could get behind! We need to ship the numbnutz who worship Russia via special delivery to Putin... including tffg. Even Putin would be completely irritated at the yammering before they'd been there a couple of days, so a good share of them would defenestrate themselves (accident, of course) before they made it to Siberia.

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George A. Polisner's avatar

It’s really surprising they are not taking another ‘hard’ look at Benghazi. When will they get back to their business of eliminating healthcare and planning additional tax cuts for the wealthy?

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Wendy's avatar

Thanks for that quaint walk down memory lane when our lives were easier. Republicans were in the early stages of creating a new fork in the tree of stupids, but we couldn't yet see how they threatened democracy's very existence. Bring a little tear to my eye remembering the simpler times.

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL!

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Doc Blase''s avatar

Remember when a President had to resign because he told ONE LIE about knowledge of the coverup of the Watergate burglary?

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Sköll's avatar

Yeah, and he was nowhere near the level of Crook as the Shitgibbon

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un poco loco's avatar

I'd argue that Nixon was a much bigger crook than he's given credit for. He committed outright treason in 1968 (by secretly interfering with peace talks to win the election) and didn't quit with that. He just didn't get caught for a while -- and resigned before the rest of his crimes could become public knowledge and he had to answer for them.

A good majority of Repug presidents since the 1960s have been major crooks and liars who were responsible for a LOT of damage and death. They just didn't say the quiet part out loud like Trump does.

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Sköll's avatar

That is very true. Even with an outward appearance that might have been completely self-serving that evoked pity and mercy from the populace, it was at least a honorable thing for him to step down. Unlike Trump who has not one ounce of honor in him and is just an twattish temper tantrum throwing toddler who deserves no mercy at all.

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

Come on now, don’t remind them!!!

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Kay-El's avatar

Even Peter Douchy smelling a nothing burger? That’s amazing. All the months of Jen Psaki handing him his ass must have paid off. How many times must Comer look like an idiot before he realizes that he looks like an idiot. I guess some things are forever.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh yeah... Jen did a beautiful job didn’t she? I had forgotten about that! 😂😂

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Kay-El's avatar

Never ceased to amuse me

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Sam Maruca's avatar

They are all toadying to the Orange Lizard.

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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

Lots of posturing and ass kissing to no effect. He'll toss them like a day old hamberder when they outlive their usefulness to him.

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Koko in AZ's avatar

I can describe Comer in 2 words to explain why he doesn't realize he's a walking idiot (and it probably explains most of the House Republicans): "Unconsciously incompetent".

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kdsherpa's avatar

Too many syllables. He won't get it.

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

😆😆😆

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Kay-El's avatar

😄

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Sköll's avatar

He probably bred, too... unfortunately

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Charlie Austin's avatar

He's a genius back in the holler.

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Marcus Case's avatar

How many times? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. Comer's windbag brain.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

infinity. there is no number.

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Dec 10, 2023
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Steve B's avatar

There used to be a name for that, or a diagnosis, whichever.

The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people with limited competence in a particular domain overestimate their abilities.

There's also The Peter Principle which says that members of a hierarchy are promoted until they reach the level at which they are no longer competent.

I think both apply here to these maroons!

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Kay-El's avatar

Yes. However, if you keep stepping on the rake, when does reality set in that stepping on it is painful? SMH

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

Absolutely! Just like if a person believes in the lie they tell, it is really hard for anybody else to figure out that they are telling a lie. Stupid excludes introspection.

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Gordon's avatar

I would love to see Smartmatic, the OTHER voting-machine company who is suing FOX for 2.7 BILLION, swoop in for the death-blow to FOX (and the My Pillow douche-bag). The wheels of justice move so fucking slow...The best sound-bite of ALL, that the Dems must use, is Chip Roy addressing his fellow Republicans, asking them “Name one thing that we’ve (the Republican Party) accomplished?”....It’s a perfect ad slogan for those assholes who ran the midterms touting “inflation, crime, and border-control” as their issues, - but all they’ve focused on is RETALIATION against the Biden family! So fucking disgusting.

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Joey Jobaa's avatar

And the Dems put border control measures in the bill to assist Israel and Ukraine. GOPers can’t vote for it because they’d rather continually say Biden has an open border. They know their douchebag followers blindly believe what they say.

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Sköll's avatar

Even with both Obama and Biden each having done far better in deportments than Trump ever did...

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Alexandra Pitcher's avatar

I watched Comer being interviewed about the *gasp* three $1380 payments Biden made for his son, which were repaid. The interviewer was grilling Comer about how this could even remotely be considered scandalous, and Comer’s answer was memorable. After first establishing that “I am a banker,” he somehow transmogrified that loan into $200,000, and questioned whether the money was a loan at all, because “I would never give my children $200,000 and expect to be paid back”. All three of his kids are minors; Hunter was in his 40s when the car payments were made.

All the Republicans are slimy in one way or another, but Comer is nothing but slime.

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Joey Jobaa's avatar

It’s evidently Comer’s shift to pilot the clown car

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Sköll's avatar

Oh no... that answers the question... did that Trump Hillbilly contaminate the gene pool, and it looks like he has

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Protecting someone by indicting that person... welp... that type of logic harkens back to the show Green Acres and Mr. Haney.......it was foolish then as it is now. If Comer Pyle wishes to audition for a Hollywood sitcom I say have at it..at least he will be out of Congress. Watching this guy I wonder who ties his shoes for him! Thanks Jeff.

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nkrempa's avatar

I soooo love "Comer Pyle!" Freakin' PERFECT!!!

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

X Man Ron Filipkowski coined that term the other day, I just decided to use it...

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nkrempa's avatar

I thought I'd seen it elsewhere, but good on you for using it... it should be in WIDE circulation!

:D

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Sköll's avatar

So good imma gonna steal that one

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FTrump And FPutin Too's avatar

I was thinking Comer sounded like Slim Pickens but the voice of “Mr. Haney” is closer!! Green Acres 🤣🤣🤣

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Deb's avatar

Absolutely an INSPIRED nickname..'Comer Pyle'...but without the likability factor!

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Sarah's avatar

This “compliant lazy-stenographer media” is one of your best! I know it may not be as hilarious or inventive as your fertile wordsmithing provides, but it hits the spot! Thanks for helping with the language we all need daily.

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David Olson's avatar

The GOP lives in fear of Trump. An impeachment only makes sense as a distraction ala Benghazi II fiasco. I’m sure many R’s know that reality. They know the other, to oppose the ‘Orange Jesus’ endangers their political career and, more darkly, their personal lives. And, there are the most cynical whom see OJ as their king; they his royal court. J.D. Vance comes to mind.

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P123Sunny's avatar

But the ‘Benghazi Strategy’ worked perfectly... smear & hurt her reputation. That’s all this is, isn’t it? Constant media churn to sow doubt. Too bad there is no recourse for public figures to sue :/

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bluesyfish's avatar

IMO it's like the meme says: distraction from the treason

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David Olson's avatar

I’m not sure Benghazi turned the corner per se. It was the derivative email imbroglio exacerbated when FBI Comey decided to go full Boy Scout (Anthony Weiner laptop, email). But same tactic.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

Schumer is still to this date playing patty cake when he should be playing life and death. just hold the senate 24/7 until all this shit is resolved. once prostates start to explode these GOP assclowns will fold in a hurry, on both sides.

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Steve B's avatar

I just refer to Schumer now as "NOT Amy Klobuchar."

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Old Man's avatar

Chuck work up for five seconds to comment about Israel v Hamas

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Charlie Austin's avatar

Chuck isn't tough or mean enough.

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Amber's avatar

Let the FAA close the doors to ALL U.S. Airports effective Dec 31. Then the GOP can stew on the immediate revenue loss and call for beheadings.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I just have one question: did Peter Doochy really bite the heads off live chickens? Cause I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. 😂😂😂. These fuking people wear my ass out. THANK YOU for another excellent summary! ✌️💙

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Dec 10, 2023
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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

Don't let Joyce Vance know he's in the area!

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Dec 10, 2023
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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

BRIOCHE! I wanted that BRIOCHE!! LOL!

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Dec 10, 2023Edited
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Sharon Buchbinder, PhD's avatar

I totally get it! LOL! I've never met a pastry I didn't like.

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Dec 10, 2023
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Sköll's avatar

That reminded me of Robertson Davies describing geeks... "“Geek…That is what carnival people call them. They are not an advertised attraction, but word that a geek is in a back tent is passed around quietly, and money is taken without any sale of tickets. Otherwise the Humane Societies make themselves a nuisance. The geek is represented as somebody who simply has to have raw flesh, and especially blood. After the spieler has lectured terrifyingly on the psychology and physiology of the geek, the geek is given a live chicken: he growls and rolls his eyes, then he gnaws through its neck until the head is off, and he drinks the spouting blood. Not a nice life, and very hard on the teeth, but if it is the only way to keep yourself in morphia you’d rather geek than have the horrors. The rubes loved it; Willard (the geek) was something even the most disgusting brute could despise…people like to be in awe of something.”

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Sköll's avatar

.... this might be the actual real-life Pizzagate of the Trumpers

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Karla's avatar

They get away with it because facts are an inconvenience to their voters. These clips were nice to see; regained a little respect for CNN.

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Steve B's avatar

Since I have a flair for the obvious, I'll just say it: this "impeachment" is ALL about revenge for Trump's TWO impeachments. Never mind that both of Trump's impeachments were 100% valid, and he should have been convicted in his extortion scheme with Ukraine, let alone January 6th. And never mind that Joe Biden has done nothing for the American people, ALL the American people, but IMPROVE their lives since the day he took office. And try to forget that several members of the Republican caucus had a hand in the planning and execution of January 6th. Don't think about the FACT that Trump and McConnell (the OG Lizard) installed three members of the Supreme Court that were definitely going to overturn Roe v Wade even though they'd paid lying lip service to it being "settled law" in their confirmation hearings. Look away when you realize that the alleged devout Christian Speaker of the House, wants an alert on his phone every time his 18-year-old son is about to get an erection.

All of that is just distraction to the idea that what the "American people" REALLY want is a return to the White House of the shitgibbon that left it, in disgrace, three years ago. He left early in the day so that he wouldn't have to bear the thought of sitting down with the new president for even a cup of coffee in the morning. Cowardly, AT BEST. Even John Roberts started the Oath of Office at 11:50 AM, NOT noon as specifically written in the Constitution, because even HE couldn't wait for the Trump administration to be over!

But yeah, let's impeach Joe Biden for absolutely nothing, and let's work hard to get Trump back into office because HE'S NOT DONE destroying America. Anyone not willing to crawl over broken glass, if that's what it takes, to vote for every Democrat on their ballots and for NO Republicans EVER again, is simply not a good American. This CANCER has been growing since Nixon, and now here it is, full-blown Stage 4. We CAN'T let this happen! Plenty of others and I are either too old or too poor to just leave the country if the worst happens, so we have to stay. Stand up and be counted! OK, rant over, for now.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

The MSM may be catching on to the GQP. If they go home for Christmas without addressing the budget, Ukraine, or the Middle East, why even come back? Fuck these idiots!!

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Cassandra Here's avatar

I’m glad the media is pushing back, maybe trump’s threats against them are finally starting to sink in? So much stupid, I’m going back to bed.

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Kay-El's avatar

I read a WaPo article yesterday about a couple from rural America. The wife: “She thought his [Chump’s] very demeanor encouraged people to perform anger about topics they did not fully understand”. Hope?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I need to read that....havent gotten to it yet. 🤷🏼‍♀️ So much good stuff to digest.

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Joey Jobaa's avatar

I’ve always wondered why public officials even take an oath to the Constitution when there clearly is no punishment for breaking the oath. It’s all ceremonial and meaningless.

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

My thoughts exactly.

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