Typos usually stand out to me (I’ve worked in publishing) but I didn’t catch a single one. Nicely done, Jeff! And I’m still laughing over “the dangly bit” to describe Florida. Love the triptych of Claudia photos! Thank you, Jeff.
I agree! Dangly bit is the best way to describe that cesspool of deplorables. I lived there for 25 years. You would not believe the amount of racist ignorant clowns I came across. Their governor is a POS that encourages this sick behavior.
During the interminable 2000 Presidential election, where victory was in the hands of Florida, Wanda Sykes said, hell, just lop it off our map. They just hanging down there not doing shit.
Hey, wait a minute! Here as a 50 year- plus Palm Beach County resident, aside from our sleazy, criminal rapist sleazebag and many Town of PB minions, the rest of the County is still deep blue!
Hey, I hear stuff flows downhill, and we're absorbing a lot of dregs from the rest of the country. Oh, low taxes, nice weather, let's move to Florida they say. There are really good people here, and we were here first.
Nobody gives the treatment to the true sleazebags that Carl Hiassen is able to do! Even though the worst scoundrels and thugs get away with most of their worst behavior in Florida, Carl Hiassen's revenge fantasies are the best!
I love Carl Hiaasen’s middle grade (some people consider them young adult) novels! I’ve never read his adult novels but I love how he makes fun of Florida while living in it.
Alligators love it in Florida . . . due to the presence of countless geriatric, visually challenged, hard-of-hearing geezers who are wandering around in the great out of doors, searching for stray golf balls.
hahahaha love it! Thanks. Even tho I'm one of those geriatric, visually challenged (not hard of hearing tho) wandering around, but I don't live in FL! THANK GOODNESS!!!
There's a family story about my BIL's elderly grandpa who lived in FL, who went out golfing w/ a similarly hearing-challenged acquaintance. They lost track of each other and walked around yelling to one another.
Problem was that neither of them was able to hear the other one.
I don't have any details about how the situation was resolved, but somehow it was, and they both made it home.
Not sure where you live but PB County votes blue, and has done so in the 50+ years I've lived here. Again, NOT the State nor the Town of PB, but the County, which is far larger than a puddle.
Can you do the same with say Texas next, followed by Mississippi and then maybe Alabama? I had no idea that “Florida man” was contagious and could spread to other states but it apparently has. Not sure how we can stop it but we better get started before it starts infecting the blue states.
Identifying the problem is the first step and you’re doing an admirable job here.
Bob, I hate to say it but I think we have a national emergency on our hands now—
Florida Man is spreading his seed everywhere, even with his own kind.
Oh the humanity…incest like no one has ever seen, ever. We need an intervention…maybe an exorcism…maybe lots of exorcisms…maybe an anti-stupid vaccine…maybe a magic garden where we can grow sane people…there’s got to be something we can do…maybe we can buy our way out of it with crypto…maybe I’ll just have another PBR and think about it.
Alabama’s “Florida Man” is our next governor, Helmetless Tommy Tub-of-Shit. And 5 of his senator buddies were elected illegally. Please keep that mental mendicant in Florida and off of our Tubernatorial Ballot.
I really can’t help that I live in Florida. I moved here after the Blizzard of ‘78 before it turned red!!!!! I’m a bleeding heart liberal and there really are a lot of us. I just attended my 29th peaceful protest yesterday ❤️🤍💙
I have read another Substack and commented on it that I am hitting "E" on my tank here. And yet, I found a dreg in it and used it to call Thune's office. I screamed in the phone at his voice mail. I probably sound like a looney tune. That's all the resistance I can offer today.
Anyone reading this, can you help?
Just make one single phone call to Sen Thune and give your opinion?
Thune is yet another textbook reason why sage brush states’ two senators’ votes should not weigh equally with states where *DELIVERANCE* could *NOT* be filmed.
I got so disgusted with Mz. Lindzey that I started leaving ugly messages about what an idiot he is, what a hypocrite, etc., etc. I would always get the same response. I remember wishing after I wrote a particularly nasty one that I'd get something rude in return. No such luck. I guess they are allowed to block constituents. (No longer a constituent since May!)
Wait. You get a response? Ron Johnson sent some regurgitated hair balls about how great the Iran war is, but otherwise his team sees a Madison zip and ignores me.
Well, I lived in Charleston, ranked the "most polite" city in the world. I guess it would have been "rude" for Mz. L's office to not respond to me with a form letter.
that's so weird that there aren't any typos. but I still hate that I sent it without giving it a final read-through. I always find things to change, or additional points to make. c'est la vie
Bosses back about mid century had to have their secretaries insert a typo in their letters so the recipient didn't think they had received a form letter. FYI
Jeff, you’re perfect. What you write is perfect. Typos are irrelevant. Mistakes occur. We all make mistakes. We acknowledge them and we move on. I didn’t notice any typos today either.
Your thoughts are pure. Your intentions are good. Your passion is eatable and delicious. That’s all that matters.
Just to be a pain in the butt, this proofreader had to look carefully twice, but you didn’t hyphenate “sour grapes,” had a space in ”horseshit,” and had “planed” rather than “planned.” Big freaking whoop; what you say is much more important than those details. And you spelled Claudia properly, so all is good.
That's okay--I was super happy to get the post earlier than usual. I fully understand that you are a highly literate person and a few mistakes do not change my opinion! Thanks for the work.
So only See BS ran the “speech” live? Did any of the rapidly dwindling audience at the Ellisons’ Bari Weiss Network watch it or were they all over at Fox?
I have an English Lit degree. You actually did quite well today.
As for the Tangerine Nightmare pre-reading his pathetic speeches, I’m not sure he could stay awake long enough to do so. In fact, I think if you gave him a Dick & Jane book, he’d fall asleep reading those famous lines, such as ‘See Spot run. Run, Spot, run.’ zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and queue The Big Donny Squeaker March of the Carpet Dusters in F minor.
I like a man who shoots from the hip, but with Trump everything you use turns into a scatter gun like the guys had on the stagecoaches. You're GONNA hit something!
Don't be a worry wort. It was completely clear and even wearing readers, it ALL looked fine to me! Wear a mask outside and don't breathe too deep. Enjoy your weekend if you can.
I'm surprised he didn't blame Canada. I mean, we're right now trying to kill 'Muricans with our unraked burning boreal forest. That devious Snidley Whiplash!
Can anyone tell me if the government would actually let him invade Greenland. Wouldn't that be against international law or something. Too bad for him he has used all our bombs on Iran. Maybe he can send Hegseth and his testosterone infused troops to invade.
Funny, this morning I ran across hegseth’s yearbook pic and he was wearing eyeliner and eye shadow. I think he’s a closet trans and overcompensating by demanding everyone inject T.
OMG Mike, you’re right. He had a twofer right there in front of him and blew it.
Don’t you think that the fine writers on Substack should write his speeches for him so these mistakes stop happening.
I can see our name in lights at the end of his speeches: “Presidential meanderings provided curtesy of The Substack Smarties”: “We Aim To Please…but please aim better”.
I got a plan (scary, I know): we all place bets on one of those betting sites betting that Substack will be writing his speeches. Odds against that happening will be 1000 to 1. We each bet $100. We start writing his speeches. We each pocket $100,000. Easy peasy. To make sure it happens we cut Donny junior in on the action. Done deal. Insider trading at its finest.
I heard that in private agent orange said Cuba was spying on us and changed the election. Kegsbreath is readying the testosterone fueled troops to invade the island and steal all the cigars🤓🖖🏻
China? You talkin' 'bout China? The same place you've been having your merch manufactured for years? The place where your Bibles are printed now? The place where your money-grubbing daughter received special favorable trade treatment? That China?
China could give a rat's ass what he says about them--just as Iran could give a rat's ass. And the UK, and Spain, and Italy, and France, and Greenland, and Canada, and that island inhabited totally and only by penguins. Rat's asses across the globe.
He probably told them he is going to spread some shit about them and to not worry, its just propaganda. China gets that. They can then use us to manipulate their citizens. What a bunch of greedy bastards.
I think there is an unwritten understanding among authoritarians that posturing and propaganda are a vital tool in oppression, so they ignore the bullshit as just that.
Tommy Tuberville (it feels stupid to even type that stupid name) may or may not live in the state he represents. He should STFU about being in the Senate illegally.
The Chinese did not steal our election. Everyone knows it was the Hamburglar.
Jeff is the second Substack writer I've read this a.m. who referenced Donny hanging on to the podium for dear life. He's on his last legs and that's why no one is paying attention to his blather.
Alzheimer’s and a couple of other forms of dementia don’t care about your age, your diet or your workout regimen, or lack there of. It will slowly shut down every bodily function until there are none.
So, they're going after "illegal senators" now? Are hordes and caravans of illegal senators taking senate jobs away from more deserving American would-be senators? Sheesh. I wonder if this will kick off a round of Joe McCarthy style accusations, complete with no evidence and the numbers changing with each telling.
It was an unfulfilled promise to our nation that the 5:30 PM flop sweat "What are we having for dinner" moment could have an easy out: Send little Bobby to the corner for tacos.
no one is paying attention to his blather... Stephen Miller, JD Vance, and Peter Thiel (from his Dr. No underground lair) are all paying CLOSE ATTENTION.
I saw a few minutes of Stephen Miller's fascist speech yesterday, spouting out Nazi propaganda about "left wing political terrorism" which was so chilling the few minutes alone left me feeling unsettled for the rest of the afternoon. He is one scary, creepy dude and his outsized power in this twisted, corrupt admin. sends chills down my spine. At least with POtuS there is a tiny bit of comic relief bc his incoherent blathering is so idiotic and nonsensical.
Recently watched a couple of 1939 movies dealing with the Nazi Bund in the U.S. (Confessions of a Nazi Spy) and the Nazi invasion of France (This Land is Mine). Both might be considered anti-fascist propaganda, but both ALSO reflect what used to be the values of our country and definitely our federal government. Therefore, I found 7/17/26 post truly astounding and horrifying.
His inner circle was not the intended audience for the speech. The speech was From them not For them. The intended audience was tens of millions of voters, and that audience did not materialize. I thought my meaning was obvious from the context but apparently not.
In an hour I’m honored to give a speech about corruption, how it seems to an abstract concept, but what it costs every one of us.
And I am tying back to the fecklessness of the GOP-led Congress to put a stop to it due to their insatiable greed for power and their cowardice. And I’m doing it outside of the local Congressional District office.
I'm sure he has told Xi that the bullshit he spews is only to fool and control us, his own subjects, I mean citizens. Xi can relate to that approach. I'm also sure the oligarchs and Javanka, the greed machine, have all sorts of back channels, sweetheart deals, under the table payoffs, etc. Insert every corrupt cliche' here.
I'm surprised he didn't go into that. Voting machines and their parts are made in China. Voting machines are always communicating with the motherland via a secret satellite communications network.
Yes, Arne, they broke up a few weeks ago. Xi sent agent orange a text message telling him he never wanted to see his face or listen to his voice ever again. That’s why piss baby was trying to get revenge by blaming China for everything that’s wrong with this country.
“Chinese government’s strategy against the United States was focused on undermining domestic confidence in the US president." Oh, shit, Donnie, we don't need "Jina" for that. You do a WONDERFUL job of it all. by. yourself.
He is the easiest mark for foreign nations to implode us in world history. That is no hyperbole. His shady past, greed, stupidity, ignorance, shallowness, egotism, narcissism, covetousness, and mendacity make him so vulnerable to bribery, flattery, blackmail, and extortion. Someone with his past and combination of negative attributes should never head a nation. Every other nation, friend or foe, plays him like a fiddle. A cheap, chintzy, decrepit fiddle.
Putin has got to be doing some sort of an evil silverfish dance of joy as he sees his investment in Agent Orange pay off beyond his wildest dreams. Every day the sack of wet stinking garbage stays in power is a day our nation gets weaker.
How very odd in Donnie’s big loon fest speech there was no mention of invading Cuba or Greenland for national security purposes..Speaking of odd.. Xi comes to America in a couple of months, Donald admires dictators, so I’m sure it will be a s**t show as Donnie attempts to distance himself from last nights assertions without evidence.. But that’s what con men do.. I believe the world now knows, if there was any doubt… that he’s gone, just like that old locomotive rolling the tracks, he’s gone, he’s gone, and he’s never coming back…he’s gone.. Best to All fellow Travelers.. rest up over this weekend…
It's a virtual certainty that his stooges have privately reached out to China just as they did to the ruling cabal in Iran to inform them that the social media grievances and now this crock of crap are for political posturing only and should not be construed as official policy or positions. Iran and China can relate to manipulation of the populace, so I'm sure they understand propagandizing for disinformation purposes.
Should be interesting when Xi visits. Donnie will most certainly roll out the red carpet, and beg him for some of the 200 gazillion votes he imagines China keeps handy for US elections.
It would be something if Xi stated at the State Dinner ( WH will order from Panda Express, btw) that the Chinese people Never attempted to assist in corrupting American elections . Har!
Is it weird that I feel less threatened about the possibility of China having my voter data than I do about the idea of T getting his tiny hands on it?
Lawrence O’Donnell said it best last night: earlier this week Mitch McConnell gave us a proof of life photo and tonight trump gave us a proof of dementia video.
Jesus Christ, dude! Get the fuck over it already! You fucking lost, fair and square. There was no fraud or cheating or ballot manipulation or undocumented immigrants voting or people voting more than once (well, there was some of that, but it was in The Villages in Florida and they voted for King Dipshit). But, GOD DAMMIT, you piece of shit, MOVE ON! Oh, and if there was any fraud or election interference from China or Russia, it was DURING HIS FIRST ADMINISTRATION! He owns that shit!
Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is what you get when a child never learns how to lose graciously, accept their defeat and go on with life. He’s still that child who turns over the checker board when he loses.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT, I accidentally sent this without proofreading it. UGH.
Typos usually stand out to me (I’ve worked in publishing) but I didn’t catch a single one. Nicely done, Jeff! And I’m still laughing over “the dangly bit” to describe Florida. Love the triptych of Claudia photos! Thank you, Jeff.
I agree! Dangly bit is the best way to describe that cesspool of deplorables. I lived there for 25 years. You would not believe the amount of racist ignorant clowns I came across. Their governor is a POS that encourages this sick behavior.
During the interminable 2000 Presidential election, where victory was in the hands of Florida, Wanda Sykes said, hell, just lop it off our map. They just hanging down there not doing shit.
Hey, wait a minute! Here as a 50 year- plus Palm Beach County resident, aside from our sleazy, criminal rapist sleazebag and many Town of PB minions, the rest of the County is still deep blue!
Yeah, I think Wanda said it on The Daily Show, so it was tongue in cheek.
Actually, it was the Chris Rock show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRr1BOdIe8U
Is that why you have a Republican governor and Republican legislature?
But Trump has a Democratic state rep now. :)
Please note: I was talking about Palm Beach County, NOT the State of Florida; ain't the same!!
I said PB COUNTY, NOT Florida! "Reading is fundamental."
HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT THIS?!! I’m talking about PALM BEACH COUNTY, NOT the STATE OF FLORIDA!! Again, reading is fundamental!!
Hey, I hear stuff flows downhill, and we're absorbing a lot of dregs from the rest of the country. Oh, low taxes, nice weather, let's move to Florida they say. There are really good people here, and we were here first.
The author Carl Hiasson says that a mighty force shook the country, and all of the scoundrels ended up in Florida!
Nobody gives the treatment to the true sleazebags that Carl Hiassen is able to do! Even though the worst scoundrels and thugs get away with most of their worst behavior in Florida, Carl Hiassen's revenge fantasies are the best!
I love Carl Hiaasen’s middle grade (some people consider them young adult) novels! I’ve never read his adult novels but I love how he makes fun of Florida while living in it.
We certainly seem to have more than our fair share.
Isn't your food taxed? I'm in California enjoying 80 degree weather today. Just saying.
No, food isn't taxed. But a lot of things are. Just no income tax.
Alligators love it in Florida . . . due to the presence of countless geriatric, visually challenged, hard-of-hearing geezers who are wandering around in the great out of doors, searching for stray golf balls.
Talk about your low hanging fruit!!!!
hahahaha love it! Thanks. Even tho I'm one of those geriatric, visually challenged (not hard of hearing tho) wandering around, but I don't live in FL! THANK GOODNESS!!!
There's a family story about my BIL's elderly grandpa who lived in FL, who went out golfing w/ a similarly hearing-challenged acquaintance. They lost track of each other and walked around yelling to one another.
Problem was that neither of them was able to hear the other one.
I don't have any details about how the situation was resolved, but somehow it was, and they both made it home.
Geezers: 1 Alligators: 0
Another reader here who has lived in the dangly bit since 1988. Thankfully I'm in a blue county but it's just a puddle.
Not sure where you live but PB County votes blue, and has done so in the 50+ years I've lived here. Again, NOT the State nor the Town of PB, but the County, which is far larger than a puddle.
When is your obnoxious governor's term of office over?
Not nearly soon enough.
That is why my family ( 3 generations of adults) will not travel in Florida.
I agree. It's a shame as I'd love to take a cruise.
Kelly, you cheered me up, made my day!
Can you do the same with say Texas next, followed by Mississippi and then maybe Alabama? I had no idea that “Florida man” was contagious and could spread to other states but it apparently has. Not sure how we can stop it but we better get started before it starts infecting the blue states.
Identifying the problem is the first step and you’re doing an admirable job here.
Florida Man’s cousin is Arizona Man.
Bob, I hate to say it but I think we have a national emergency on our hands now—
Florida Man is spreading his seed everywhere, even with his own kind.
Oh the humanity…incest like no one has ever seen, ever. We need an intervention…maybe an exorcism…maybe lots of exorcisms…maybe an anti-stupid vaccine…maybe a magic garden where we can grow sane people…there’s got to be something we can do…maybe we can buy our way out of it with crypto…maybe I’ll just have another PBR and think about it.
“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”
Alabama’s “Florida Man” is our next governor, Helmetless Tommy Tub-of-Shit. And 5 of his senator buddies were elected illegally. Please keep that mental mendicant in Florida and off of our Tubernatorial Ballot.
Louie Gohmert was incredibly stupid, a moron of the highest caliber. Tuberswille raises the bar several notches.
I currently live in "the dangly bit." It is not easy. Reason I escape the summers. Reason I bought property in Ireland. US has gone nuts.
I love Carl Hiassen. Read his books and Dave Barry’s, too.
Ever see the John Sayles movie “Sunshine State?”
Another reason I love seeing the Daily Claudia….those ice cold looking martinis are right up my alley!!
I live in the Conch Republic, Key West and we should apply to become the 52nd state so we don't have to be part of Floriduh.
And it stinks there. Probably the rotten human being’s sullying the air
Yeah, kinda wish there was a fault line at the Florida border.
We have to ask: How powerful are our Jewish space lasers? Can they do more than the weather?
We could always hope there would be the MASH, Mother of All Sinkholes, and Georgia would get even more oceanfront land.
I always thought maybe we SHOULD build a wall. On the Mason Dixon line.... 😉
https://share.google/gqqNk1pyc1avtmCOg
Love it!
A lot of us Floridians agree.
It’s the entire state of Georgia, a former prison colony.
Yes, “dangly bit” is perfect. It will now be my go to for discussing that area. 😂
"dangly bit" LOL . . . I prefer "God's waiting room"
😂😂😂
Seriously, I about died from "dangly bit" 🤣
I really can’t help that I live in Florida. I moved here after the Blizzard of ‘78 before it turned red!!!!! I’m a bleeding heart liberal and there really are a lot of us. I just attended my 29th peaceful protest yesterday ❤️🤍💙
I didn’t see any errors!
Ditto Tess, no worries, Jeff!
None. The Claudia photos rock! So refreshing after the shit show last night.
Maybe he already fixed them.
NP, Jeff. We get you anyhow.
I have read another Substack and commented on it that I am hitting "E" on my tank here. And yet, I found a dreg in it and used it to call Thune's office. I screamed in the phone at his voice mail. I probably sound like a looney tune. That's all the resistance I can offer today.
Anyone reading this, can you help?
Just make one single phone call to Sen Thune and give your opinion?
Here's the DC number:
866 850 3855
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!
Sigh. I wish I could leave a voicemail for my representative. Oh, right. I live in DC, so I don’t get one 🤬
BTW, Kari, I am a crazy cat lady, too. And have two daughters and three nieces who are teachers. I hold educators in very high regard!
I love reading people's bios and discovering kindred souls!
Not fair!
That is a travesty.
I just made the call to John Thune. I'll also share it...thanks for providing it!
Thune is yet another textbook reason why sage brush states’ two senators’ votes should not weigh equally with states where *DELIVERANCE* could *NOT* be filmed.
THANK YOU SUSAN!
Thank you for the number!
Sure. I love leaving messages for politicians. Do you have to leave your zip code or city. They won't care what non constituents think.
On Thune's, you can leave your email which I do. And I said, YOUR OFFICE NEVERS EMAILS ME BACK! SHAME ON YOU!
LOL!
I’ve always loved geography. It’s fun to look up a Zip Code in the district you’re calling about and/or the state.
I got so disgusted with Mz. Lindzey that I started leaving ugly messages about what an idiot he is, what a hypocrite, etc., etc. I would always get the same response. I remember wishing after I wrote a particularly nasty one that I'd get something rude in return. No such luck. I guess they are allowed to block constituents. (No longer a constituent since May!)
Wait. You get a response? Ron Johnson sent some regurgitated hair balls about how great the Iran war is, but otherwise his team sees a Madison zip and ignores me.
Well, I lived in Charleston, ranked the "most polite" city in the world. I guess it would have been "rude" for Mz. L's office to not respond to me with a form letter.
I didn't see any errors either!
that's so weird that there aren't any typos. but I still hate that I sent it without giving it a final read-through. I always find things to change, or additional points to make. c'est la vie
The spellcheck gods are smiling on you today.
Right? Spellcheck is a mixed blessing on the best of days.
You are so sweet! You write the most vulgar things, and then worry whether you spelled them correctly.
🤣🤣
I’ve been an editor since pica poles walked the Earth and I didn’t see any.
Good old pica poles! Not just a Polish eating disorder.
Sometimes used to cut cake.
Also a great back scratcher, especially the 108 pica.
If, and when, there are typos, I read over them correctly and move on. You are human, right?!
It's a habbit I suppose, but give yourself a break. You know how to lay it down so well you'd have to fake a typo to just test us.
Bosses back about mid century had to have their secretaries insert a typo in their letters so the recipient didn't think they had received a form letter. FYI
Jeff, you’re perfect. What you write is perfect. Typos are irrelevant. Mistakes occur. We all make mistakes. We acknowledge them and we move on. I didn’t notice any typos today either.
Your thoughts are pure. Your intentions are good. Your passion is eatable and delicious. That’s all that matters.
Bon appetite!
Ha!
You posted something about “tee shits” the other day, but I let it go. 😁
And I replied that it was entirely appropriate so it didn’t bother me! 🤣
Sometimes we just get lucky....
effectivement!
So human of you ;)
Did you eat Chinese food?
I read it without missing a beat! It is great work...nobody cares about the typos! We care about the content! PS Ms Spouse looks awesome in a hat!
Sorry, we editor/proofreader types DO care about typos as well as content. We can't help it.
Former English major and civil litigator here. My entire adult life has involved proofreading documents over and over and over…
I’m retired now, but some things stick with you.
I will go back to one of my comments to fix if I discover a typo. Been after Bluesky to allow that as Facebook and Substack does.
You endeared me to you the first time you referred to Claudia as Ms. Spouse. You are also a great journalist!
The turn of phrase that got me to subscribe was "committed a journalism."
That got me too.
Same here!
Just to be a pain in the butt, this proofreader had to look carefully twice, but you didn’t hyphenate “sour grapes,” had a space in ”horseshit,” and had “planed” rather than “planned.” Big freaking whoop; what you say is much more important than those details. And you spelled Claudia properly, so all is good.
The “planed” instead of “planned” was in the original X post. But it’s crumbs from masterful pastry of political humor.
I agree completely and thoroughly enjoy the banquet, but proofreaders gotta proof.
That's okay--I was super happy to get the post earlier than usual. I fully understand that you are a highly literate person and a few mistakes do not change my opinion! Thanks for the work.
I saw nor read any typos Jeff!! Your essay was brilliant written logically without any typos that I saw!!
And Trumpfuck remains the demented sore loser who belongs in a locked memory loss facility!
Don’t worry Jeff!
And lovely stylish Claudia was a joy to see!
So only See BS ran the “speech” live? Did any of the rapidly dwindling audience at the Ellisons’ Bari Weiss Network watch it or were they all over at Fox?
PBS ran it, but that’s what they do, much like the BBC having Boris Johnson on.
Everyone will survive.
I have an English Lit degree. You actually did quite well today.
As for the Tangerine Nightmare pre-reading his pathetic speeches, I’m not sure he could stay awake long enough to do so. In fact, I think if you gave him a Dick & Jane book, he’d fall asleep reading those famous lines, such as ‘See Spot run. Run, Spot, run.’ zzzzzzzzzzzzzz and queue The Big Donny Squeaker March of the Carpet Dusters in F minor.
Nope not a ONE!!!! Great job, Jeff, and our Ms. Spouse, wonderful, thank you!!!!
I like a man who shoots from the hip, but with Trump everything you use turns into a scatter gun like the guys had on the stagecoaches. You're GONNA hit something!
Don't be a worry wort. It was completely clear and even wearing readers, it ALL looked fine to me! Wear a mask outside and don't breathe too deep. Enjoy your weekend if you can.
You did just fine, Jeff! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Surprising, he didn’t say that Greenland was spying on us and changed the election. That would give him the cover he needs to invade the island.
MIKE!!! don't give the mother fucking POS any ideas!!!
Oopsie
Yeah Mike “Loose lips sinks ships”. lol just yoking with you!
😂
I'm surprised he didn't blame Canada. I mean, we're right now trying to kill 'Muricans with our unraked burning boreal forest. That devious Snidley Whiplash!
Can anyone tell me if the government would actually let him invade Greenland. Wouldn't that be against international law or something. Too bad for him he has used all our bombs on Iran. Maybe he can send Hegseth and his testosterone infused troops to invade.
Breast growth from testosterone will be problematic with Hegseth. He’s not overly fond of women in the military.
Hegseth can lead the 89th Pectoral Mammary Gland Battalion.
Bullet-proof bras in cammo!
I’m certain Hegseth will offer them to be titular heads of a department.
You never know. Men with breasts may be his kink.
If so, give him Kristi Noem's Ex's number. They'd make an adorable couple! 😉
Funny, this morning I ran across hegseth’s yearbook pic and he was wearing eyeliner and eye shadow. I think he’s a closet trans and overcompensating by demanding everyone inject T.
Thanks, for the mammaries...
He's that guy, the one who hates us and wants to bang us. Rapey personality.
Should he be stupid enough to try it he would find all the other NATO nations united in defending it.
Like this administration and donOLD respect international law?!? Same as respecting the constitution, ethics, morals, rule of law, judges etc, etc,
Good idea 👍
OMG Mike, you’re right. He had a twofer right there in front of him and blew it.
Don’t you think that the fine writers on Substack should write his speeches for him so these mistakes stop happening.
I can see our name in lights at the end of his speeches: “Presidential meanderings provided curtesy of The Substack Smarties”: “We Aim To Please…but please aim better”.
I got a plan (scary, I know): we all place bets on one of those betting sites betting that Substack will be writing his speeches. Odds against that happening will be 1000 to 1. We each bet $100. We start writing his speeches. We each pocket $100,000. Easy peasy. To make sure it happens we cut Donny junior in on the action. Done deal. Insider trading at its finest.
Sssshhh Mike!🤭
I heard that in private agent orange said Cuba was spying on us and changed the election. Kegsbreath is readying the testosterone fueled troops to invade the island and steal all the cigars🤓🖖🏻
Don’t give him any ideas!
Jesus do not give anyone any ideas
China? You talkin' 'bout China? The same place you've been having your merch manufactured for years? The place where your Bibles are printed now? The place where your money-grubbing daughter received special favorable trade treatment? That China?
China could give a rat's ass what he says about them--just as Iran could give a rat's ass. And the UK, and Spain, and Italy, and France, and Greenland, and Canada, and that island inhabited totally and only by penguins. Rat's asses across the globe.
He keeps talking about how "respected" America is now. In fact, it's the complete opposite.
😂 Fuckin' A!
Only the brain dead MAGAts give a shit...
He probably told them he is going to spread some shit about them and to not worry, its just propaganda. China gets that. They can then use us to manipulate their citizens. What a bunch of greedy bastards.
I think there is an unwritten understanding among authoritarians that posturing and propaganda are a vital tool in oppression, so they ignore the bullshit as just that.
It’s Chey-nah!! Or Shy-nuh! But Fkn Ron de Santis again? Remember when he sent all those poor folks to Martha’s Vineyard? Auwẽ!!
Tommy Tuberville (it feels stupid to even type that stupid name) may or may not live in the state he represents. He should STFU about being in the Senate illegally.
The Chinese did not steal our election. Everyone knows it was the Hamburglar.
Jeff is the second Substack writer I've read this a.m. who referenced Donny hanging on to the podium for dear life. He's on his last legs and that's why no one is paying attention to his blather.
His pulmonary collapse is showing and he was literally choking on his own throat juice at several points. Tick tock.
Alzheimer’s and a couple of other forms of dementia don’t care about your age, your diet or your workout regimen, or lack there of. It will slowly shut down every bodily function until there are none.
How long how long
I wouldn’t say all cases are the same, but for my mom, from late mid-stage until death was 4-5 years.
Outstanding concept, but disgusting visual😑
A far more disgusting visual is the throat juice of Scott Bessent and Peter Thiel. Man chowder.
🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
He was gurgling. The retained fluid is rising higher & higher.
It was surprising that they propped him up at the podium. Why not have him sit at the desk.
He might have fallen asleep 👹
Might?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, they're going after "illegal senators" now? Are hordes and caravans of illegal senators taking senate jobs away from more deserving American would-be senators? Sheesh. I wonder if this will kick off a round of Joe McCarthy style accusations, complete with no evidence and the numbers changing with each telling.
Even now, those illegal senators are setting up taco trucks on every street corner, in order to.......
I'm not sure. I just remember that I was supposed to think that a taco truck just down the street from me was supposed to be an actual bad thing.
It was an unfulfilled promise to our nation that the 5:30 PM flop sweat "What are we having for dinner" moment could have an easy out: Send little Bobby to the corner for tacos.
Well, that "gash" in the Reflecting Pool is now up to 350 YARDS.
😆
no one is paying attention to his blather... Stephen Miller, JD Vance, and Peter Thiel (from his Dr. No underground lair) are all paying CLOSE ATTENTION.
Thats the scary part. Those three are a pack of weasels.
Don’t insult weasels!
They're treason weasels. It's a separate breed.
Rapacious snakes.
Scurvy rats.
I saw a few minutes of Stephen Miller's fascist speech yesterday, spouting out Nazi propaganda about "left wing political terrorism" which was so chilling the few minutes alone left me feeling unsettled for the rest of the afternoon. He is one scary, creepy dude and his outsized power in this twisted, corrupt admin. sends chills down my spine. At least with POtuS there is a tiny bit of comic relief bc his incoherent blathering is so idiotic and nonsensical.
Recently watched a couple of 1939 movies dealing with the Nazi Bund in the U.S. (Confessions of a Nazi Spy) and the Nazi invasion of France (This Land is Mine). Both might be considered anti-fascist propaganda, but both ALSO reflect what used to be the values of our country and definitely our federal government. Therefore, I found 7/17/26 post truly astounding and horrifying.
Pure projection.
His inner circle was not the intended audience for the speech. The speech was From them not For them. The intended audience was tens of millions of voters, and that audience did not materialize. I thought my meaning was obvious from the context but apparently not.
Just call him T-Tubes! A Jeff Tiedrich original.
I call him Tommy TaterTown.
Ooh, I like it! (The nickname, not the Tater in question) :D
Thank you Jeff.
We all enjoy your insights, proofed or not.
In an hour I’m honored to give a speech about corruption, how it seems to an abstract concept, but what it costs every one of us.
And I am tying back to the fecklessness of the GOP-led Congress to put a stop to it due to their insatiable greed for power and their cowardice. And I’m doing it outside of the local Congressional District office.
Standby if I need bail money.
👏👏👏👏
Good luck George- you’ve got this‼️
"China something China". That's about all I got out of the 27 minutes.
I thought that he and Xi were besties. They were besties a month ago. Did they break up?
I'm sure he has told Xi that the bullshit he spews is only to fool and control us, his own subjects, I mean citizens. Xi can relate to that approach. I'm also sure the oligarchs and Javanka, the greed machine, have all sorts of back channels, sweetheart deals, under the table payoffs, etc. Insert every corrupt cliche' here.
Isn’t that where her voting machines are made? That was one of her patents wasn’t it?
And what could possibly go wrong?
I'm surprised he didn't go into that. Voting machines and their parts are made in China. Voting machines are always communicating with the motherland via a secret satellite communications network.
I heard it was for her apparel and accessory line, the same shit she peddled when she was a "senior WH advisor." What a joke.
He's pissed because China just refused to provide support for our military effort in the Strait. They told him "you broke it, you own it."
China likely had a copy of his mind numbing script Arne, they were busy laughing at the depech d'imbécile!
He found out “Xi” is pronounced “she”. May the abuse begin!
Lol.
it's an on & off relationship. the kids these days probably have a better name for it.
Shituationship?
👏👏👏
Yes, Arne, they broke up a few weeks ago. Xi sent agent orange a text message telling him he never wanted to see his face or listen to his voice ever again. That’s why piss baby was trying to get revenge by blaming China for everything that’s wrong with this country.
🤓🖖🏻
It used to be, Russia Russia Russia. From now on I guess it's China China China.
It should be Epstein, Epstein, Epstein.
I always hear him saying, “Jina Jina Jina” - rhymes with vagina - ‘cause I think that’s where his mind is most of the time.
Lol.
Are they eating the dogs and cats too. A really big Boogeyman this time
No, aren’t you aware of the long running conspiracy that that’s what they sell you in Chinese food?
Heavy emphasis on cat
They pumped him up on the wrong meds- didn’t watch it - did he do the “ long blink?”
I was hoping he’d OD on Adderal and blow his aorta.
I'd would've tuned in for that. 😎🍿
Solidarity with Miss LG
If his inferior vena cava dissected, either his chest cavity or his gut fills with blood. The former is pretty crowded, so it will hurt. A lot.
Ooooo! Even better!
No, he was on an Adderal roll.
Oh. Lol.
They had him propped up and glue his eyelids open.
His droning makes any bagpiper sound musical.
Donald seemed very low-T to me. He might want to get that checked out.
SecDeath is on it!
He spilled the T, it’s in his diaper now.
I don't know. He might already be on it. He's got the man boobs thing really going on.
😂
😂
“Chinese government’s strategy against the United States was focused on undermining domestic confidence in the US president." Oh, shit, Donnie, we don't need "Jina" for that. You do a WONDERFUL job of it all. by. yourself.
He is the easiest mark for foreign nations to implode us in world history. That is no hyperbole. His shady past, greed, stupidity, ignorance, shallowness, egotism, narcissism, covetousness, and mendacity make him so vulnerable to bribery, flattery, blackmail, and extortion. Someone with his past and combination of negative attributes should never head a nation. Every other nation, friend or foe, plays him like a fiddle. A cheap, chintzy, decrepit fiddle.
Putin has got to be doing some sort of an evil silverfish dance of joy as he sees his investment in Agent Orange pay off beyond his wildest dreams. Every day the sack of wet stinking garbage stays in power is a day our nation gets weaker.
Da Ruskies targeted Dum(b) Donny decades ago… they knew he was a corrupt & stupid fool- the kind they like to manipulate
You hit the nail on the head. I'll bet the "pee pee tape" is much, much worse than that. He is a national hero - in Russia.
Absolutely right, Doc. How the easily manipulated think he’s God’s own avatar is simply beyond me.
The tsunami of shit just never ends. I'm so tired.
And now the shitshow involves actual shit.
How very odd in Donnie’s big loon fest speech there was no mention of invading Cuba or Greenland for national security purposes..Speaking of odd.. Xi comes to America in a couple of months, Donald admires dictators, so I’m sure it will be a s**t show as Donnie attempts to distance himself from last nights assertions without evidence.. But that’s what con men do.. I believe the world now knows, if there was any doubt… that he’s gone, just like that old locomotive rolling the tracks, he’s gone, he’s gone, and he’s never coming back…he’s gone.. Best to All fellow Travelers.. rest up over this weekend…
It's a virtual certainty that his stooges have privately reached out to China just as they did to the ruling cabal in Iran to inform them that the social media grievances and now this crock of crap are for political posturing only and should not be construed as official policy or positions. Iran and China can relate to manipulation of the populace, so I'm sure they understand propagandizing for disinformation purposes.
Should be interesting when Xi visits. Donnie will most certainly roll out the red carpet, and beg him for some of the 200 gazillion votes he imagines China keeps handy for US elections.
It would be something if Xi stated at the State Dinner ( WH will order from Panda Express, btw) that the Chinese people Never attempted to assist in corrupting American elections . Har!
So are you saying that trump is poking China as in "China if you're listening, find me the votes I need to keep control of Congress"?
Unlike most liars, he doesn't have to remember his lies. He was always a bullshitter but lately he's just gone, like you said.
So Dumb Donny gave a big "speech"
A tired old fuck and a leech
There must have been sumpin'
Than to watch this douche dumpin' '
Like inhale smoke particles on a beach!
He cannot disguise
His whines and his cries
And repeatedly tries
His firehose of lies
Can't wait 'til he dies
I'd rather he just go to jail
And be someone's bitch, the fuckwhale
"Hey Donny, bend someone over
And bark like dog Rover
And vomit straight into a pail!"
Well I guess Russia, Russia, Russia is back! LMAO. I knew everyone in this administration is as dumb as dirt. But this takes it to another level.
Trump and his regime of idiots don’t need to offer proof of ANYTHING; all they have to do is say it and MAGA believes it as the gospel truth
I think MAGA is dwindling resource for Trump.
I sure hope so. The true cult zombies won’t turn away, but the reasonable ones might.
Is it weird that I feel less threatened about the possibility of China having my voter data than I do about the idea of T getting his tiny hands on it?
Any idea why China would want it in the first place?
Same
Lawrence O’Donnell said it best last night: earlier this week Mitch McConnell gave us a proof of life photo and tonight trump gave us a proof of dementia video.
Damn! Well said, Larry!
Jesus Christ, dude! Get the fuck over it already! You fucking lost, fair and square. There was no fraud or cheating or ballot manipulation or undocumented immigrants voting or people voting more than once (well, there was some of that, but it was in The Villages in Florida and they voted for King Dipshit). But, GOD DAMMIT, you piece of shit, MOVE ON! Oh, and if there was any fraud or election interference from China or Russia, it was DURING HIS FIRST ADMINISTRATION! He owns that shit!
Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is what you get when a child never learns how to lose graciously, accept their defeat and go on with life. He’s still that child who turns over the checker board when he loses.
Christ, it wasn't even close.