even Fox News admits that Donny’s ‘stolen election’ speech was bullshit
sore loser says what?
last night, the world’s most ginormous sore-loser piss-baby waddled into the East Room of the White House, gripped the podium for dear life, and spent twenty-seven entire minutes pissing and moaning and bellyaching and power-loading an endless series of diapers about how super fucking unfair it was of the entire world to have conspired to deny him his rightful place as the True Winner of Every Election Ever.
it was so tiresome. we’d all heard this bullshit before. any one of us could have predicted exactly what would seep from Donny’s rancid anus-mouth.
in fact, Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff did predict it.
“here’s what’s going to happen tonight: the world’s most famous sore loser will deliver a prime-time presidential sour grapes address to pursue his six-year-old grievances about the 2020 election, while his war in the Middle East spirals out of control and the cost of living continues to rise for Americans across the country.”
you nailed it, bro. that’s exactly how it played out.
imagine a speech so detached from reality that even Fox News was all ‘whoa, whoa, don’t quote us on any of this shit.’
“Fox News has not seen the evidence yet and is not in a position to evaluate the accuracy of the president’s statement and claims.”
Donny’s big premise was that something something China something. see if you can figure out what Dear Incoherent Leader is gibbering about here, because I give up.
“Chinese government’s strategy against the United States was focused on undermining domestic confidence in the US president. they wanted to just make you sound— like your president wasn’t so hot, when actually, your president has done— a great job.”
oh, come on. ‘they wanted to just make you sound like your president wasn’t so hot’? once again, this illiterate fuck didn’t bother to read his speech ahead of time before delivering it, and so he botches one sentence after another. you would imagine that Donny would want to put some actual effort into presenting a supposedly bombshell speech like this, but you’d be wrong.
okay, here’s the meat and potatoes of Donny’s fever-swamp hallucination: that China stole a pickledillion voter files.
“the year starting the 2020 election cycle the People’s of the Republic of China carried out what is believed to be the largest compromise of election data in history, resulting in in China’s illegal acquisition of two hundred and twenty million US voter files.”
the MAGAverse has been making this cockamamie ‘stolen voter files’ claim since 2021, and have never offered up one shred of evidence of any of it.
by the way, there were only 168.31 million registered voters in 2020, so that’s a pretty neat trick that China pulled, stealing 52 million additional voter files that never existed.
but wait — it gets batshittier.
“the second set of documents we are releasing reveals that members of the DEEP STATE — very, very famous group of people, many cases — in our intelligence agency worked to actively suppress and downplay information about the extent of China’s election meddling, covering it up from both the president and the American people, like nobody thought was possible.”
LIKE NOBODY THOUGHT WAS POSSIBLE! there it is, the obligatory maximalism. everyone take a drink!
so Donny’s accusing his own CIA of hiding this massive conspiracy from him, and it’s a massive conspiracy like nobody thought possible. maybe the massivest conspiracy of all time.
a big strong conspiracy with tears in its eyes.
this claim was such a stinky pile of patently false horse shit that even The New York Times was forced to commit a journalism.
as promised, the White House released allegedly declassified documents to support their case — but because everything this administration does is a fucking clown show, what they released showed that it was Russia that was doing the interference — for Donny.
This is really incredible. Docs released by Trump tonight confirm RUSSIA tried to spread claims Biden was engaged in criminal activity vis-a-vis Burisma and that it advanced those narratives “with US officials” and planed a “high-profile corruption scandal... at the peak of the 2020 US presidential campaign.”
seriously, didn’t anyone read this shit before releasing it?
Trump released documents that confirm Russia tried to interfere in the 2020 election to hurt Biden. It says Russia tried to “orchestrate a high-profile corruption scandal” and push narratives about “voter fraud resulting from mail-in balloting”
look, we know what’s going on here. Donny’s whole ludicrous dog-and-pony show isn’t really about what happened six years ago. it’s about what’s going to happen three months from now, in November.
as the always-essential Joyce Vance points out —
But what is important is understanding what he’s trying to do: He’s searching for a way to legitimize interference in an election he knows his party is going to lose in November. He may not be on the ballot, but it has personal consequences for a man who derives benefit and protection from the presidency. So this is about laying a predicate for intervention and challenges in 2026 and future elections.
this is all about delegitimizing the entire election process — because Republicans know that they’re going to get their asses handed to them this November. none of their fuckery — the unwinnable war, the high prices, the innocent people gunned down by masked ICE thugs — none of it is popular, and the midterms are going to be a bloodbath.
the ultimate goal is to throw doubt into the outcome of every election — past, present and future.
terminally-concussed Tommy Tuberville — that cautionary tale for why you should never play football without a helmet — understands the assignment.
“we probably have four or five senators that didn’t legally win. they shouldn’t be up here.”
oh really, Tommy? four or five of your colleagues whom you work with every day aren’t legit? care to put your money where your mouth is and name names? or are you content to just run your damn fool mouth and make wild accusations that you know aren’t true?
what a fucking coward.
and because we live in the dumbfuckiest timeline, MAGA is throwing a Ginormous Mad at China right now.
Florida’s An Appalling Lunatic is calling for the immediate cancellation of every Chinese student visa.
I guess there’s something in the water down there in America’s dangly bit, because Meatball Ron DeSantis is also calling for the persecution of hundreds of thousands of Chinese students.
great, it’s now open season on Chinese immigrants, all because Dear Leader is a colicky piss-baby sore loser who always needs someone to blame for his own fuck-ups.
let’s circle back to Joyce Vance and give her today’s final word — because everything she says here is true.
No one would be trying to take your vote away from you with this level of intensity if they didn’t understand how important your vote is, how powerful it makes you. Trump always says the quiet part out loud. He’s doing that now. Your vote matters. Prepare to do whatever it takes this fall to cast it. Let’s put a stop to the lies once and for all.
for two hundred and fifty years, America has had free and fair elections. let’s not let these evil fuckers normalize cheating, the way they’ve normalized all their other abhorrent behavior.
as Joyce says at the end of every single one of her posts, ‘we’re in this together.’
well, we made it through the week in one piece! let’s reward ourselves with some Daily Claudia.
here’s a triptych from the Hudson Valley Steakhouse on November 29, 2024.
have a great Friday, everyone. remember to wear a helmet when you play football.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT, I accidentally sent this without proofreading it. UGH.
Surprising, he didn’t say that Greenland was spying on us and changed the election. That would give him the cover he needs to invade the island.