370 Comments
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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

because staring up at the ceiling in the dark at 4:00am and thinking 'how the fuck am I going to make -this- funny' is so much fun

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

You’re no ordinary writer, Jeff. What you are able to do with fucked up news every day is amazing.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff, this is NOT the worst possible timeline. The worst possible timeline would be this one with NO Jeff.

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Absolutely agree. Reading Jeff’s words everyday has helped me hang on to a slim thread of sanity through this shitstorm of a timeline. Thank you Jeff!

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Linda Weide's avatar

Well put Jodi!

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Hear, hear! He's my sanity whisperer.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Yes Ann. I wish I had someone like Jeff to illuminate the humor in politics in Germany as well. Right now Germany has its own government that is prioritizing business and not the environment or the people. Add to it that they are still outwardly trying to get along with Trump, and the far right AfD is being funded and cultivated by Musk, and wooed by Trump and Vance, and it is not good. At the same time they are trying to get rid of Democracy in Germany along with Putin. Tiedrich information trumps Misinformation and Disinformation.

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Didn't know, thx for the info

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P123Sunny's avatar

Well said.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

SO this - and if it helps, I too am awake at 4:00am (PTSD) but usually playing games (GameDuell) to occupy my brain. NOT on a cellphone - my desktop with my dog snoozing beside me. It's why I actually sleep from 8a.m. to 12-ish when hubby can take over the 'watch'. THEN we can read Jeff's posts to wake me up with a smile/chuckle/laugh out loud or with some deep groans as in today.

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Bob Bowden's avatar

Sugg- Jeffs- tion for another Pulitzer-worthy question:

Mr. President / Dear Leader: Why did the U.S. Navy under your leadership become so weak that it can apparently no longer capture a vessel on the high seas and bring its occupants into captivity for questioning and justice, knowing as I’m sure you do that dead drug moles killed in the act are not able to rat out their U.S.-based drug connections and accomplices? Or are you more interested in playing the high seas version of whack-a-mole with the cameras running with drug moles who maybe are drug moles and maybe are just fisherman as you just said, than you are in actually closing down drug networks and bringing their operations to an end?

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Poignant Bob, wondering why they don’t seize the drugs, find the mob and its bosses controlling the traffic is curious indeed, unless the Trump transnational criminal syndicate is directly involved! The DEA has always been involved for this very reason… hmm!

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arne link's avatar

Like, virtually all the Fentanyl comes from Mexico. In comes in large quantities, not on little fishing boats.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Exactly Arne, with a bit of help from China!

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cablecargal's avatar

Exactly! Maybe drumpf should watch more "Contraband" or "To Catch a Smuggler."

Lots of drug smuggling ways are shown but the TSA doesn't blow fishing boats out of the water with no regard for human life.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Yeah - there's THAT little sticky wicket to think about. What EVER would he dredge up from the depths of that rotting brain in response to finding out that his huge LIE about fentanyl was blown (along with those likely fishermen on that boat?) I'm one who somehow always imagines BEING THERE - and I can't fathom the awfulness of their deaths, especially since it's more than likely they WERE simply hard-working fishermen whose families will be distraught by their murders and this Overt ACT OF WAR!

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Christine Zepka's avatar

Because it’s all a distraction: Release the Epstein files/client list(s)!!

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shee-rah's avatar

The Epstein victims are compiling their own lists. Should be very revealing.

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Dave the Spot-on Moron's avatar

He’d rather commit an act of war in international waters than actually do anything intelligent. The good thing is that the ICC in The Hague is watching. I hope…

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Sheila D's avatar

The US is not a member of the ICC--we didn't sign up because they were going to prosecute Bush II. The ICC can't do anything to Trump, unfortunately, unless he commits a crime while physically in a member state.

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Patricia Williamson's avatar

My husband was in the US Navy for 25 years and proud of his service. Now, I am ashamed of the Navy for bowing down and killing, possibly innocent people. They should know better.

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

Obeying illegal order(s)?

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arne link's avatar

That is a really excellent question. Of course, we know the answer. It's not inflammatory enough and makes bad theatre.

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Marian Goldsmith's avatar

With the Venezuelan kill shots he's just making up a new Apprentice-ish (yeesh) script because that's all he knows at this point. Only when this script gets played it's real life and DEATH, not an effing made up un-reality TV "entertainment" (for some people; sorry not me) genuine real life script. I can't even...the thought is too terrible.

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

And can someone explain why Venezuela in particular?

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Lorraine Parish's avatar

Possibly he wants to provoke them into some kind of response so they can go in and get rid of their leader.

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Susan Hayes's avatar

I so agree! Jeff is goddamn amazing!

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Lee Ann Vindasius's avatar

Keeping us sane. Thanks, Jeff.

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Linda Weide's avatar

I agree! Tiedrich is super talented. I am very appreciative.

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Jane's avatar

👏👏👏

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Kay-El's avatar

Dark humor has its place my friend

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

You do a fabulous job of mixing rage with humor.

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Tess's avatar

Pulitzer prize for: “What the fuck is wrong with you?”….goes to JEFF TIEDRICH for being consistent in his push to the media!!

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Christine Zepka's avatar

AGREE!!

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Sardonic wit and irony work very well. You don't have to make this horror "funny" and you could risk your sanity trying. The main thing is you're presenting us with the truth, which is becoming increasingly rare.

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Carl Selfe's avatar

Bloody chum in the water brings sharks. They will bite anything and that is not violence. It brings emotionally soothing food for the soul. The price of deflection is high and those who are expendable in the eyes of DJT pay.

That said, there is a need for social services to address these emotionally challenged shooters. Instead some torture them repeatedly with heteronormativity. This is not politics. This is systemic abuse and societal failure that are both fixable. I am disgusted by those making a living by bellowing in this type of torture chamber, but I get relief reading Jeff. https://hotbuttons.substack.com/p/bloody-chum?r=3m1bs

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Jeff, look, in every clip, t's lips are moving. That's clear proof he's lying. I think that's pretty funny. Lying in public, for everyone to see.

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shee-rah's avatar

Trump lying…so what else is new? It’s hard to know if he’s ever speaking the truth.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Truth? He can’t handle the truth!

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Robin D's avatar

I hope you read this and answer. Despite everything horrible in the world, do you crack yourself up writing this as much as we do reading it? I live for you and (sorry for cheating on you, but my other love Andy Borowitz). I could not make it through a day with you or him. But you in particular are really fucking hilarious. The names, the videos, the gifs. BRILLIANT! Just one request. Pls don’t sow that horrifying insect/cricket or whatever it is. I live in NYC and the “local wildlife” makes me scream in horror. Otherwise…carry on. Mrs. Spouse must ROFL from you 🤣😂

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I suspect that gif depicts a grasshopper. I live on Long Island and am being INVADED by those fucking crickets which look far too remarkably like those critters you describe which we used to get when living in Brooklyn over a GROCERY STORE (we didn't know better, having just recently arrived from Glasgow). Had no idea NY had that problem. Ugh, ugh, ugh. My cat has a habit of racing into MY bathroom with me while talking constantly, needing LUV. He's a sweetie. Those fucking crickets have even jumped on HIM (shudder) and while he's as calm as could be - just flicking his tail and side-eyeing them, I'm practically jumping out of my skin because those suckers can nearly FLY~they jump so high! I had to swat one right out of the air last evening. It had crawled onto my hand towel on the counter .o.m.g. ~a darkish colour so I didn't notice that thing at first. Yikes! I can tolerate the gif here because the crickets here are black and fugly as all get out Blech!

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Robin D's avatar

Thanks Elixabeth! glad I'm not the only terrified wuss. Safety in numbers.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

TY Robin - I need more people in MY corner too, maybe start a 'club'. ;) I watch all kinds of wildlife shows, even 'the Zoo' shows (but have to leave the room when they feed bugs to reptiles). NO mammal frightens me - can find something endearing about them all. I've literally snuggled a clearly neglected, unbrushed wolf-dog (I didn't know he was) when much younger when a service-station owner later freaked out, telling me 'no one touches that dog!!! He's half-wolf and crazy!!!' Would have been nice if he'd maybe told me ahead of time? but that sweet boy and I'd been having a super nice time while waiting for our car to be serviced, late at night in the middle of nowhere. His hackles went up ONLY when his 'owner' appeared. grrr. Anyway, I digress as usual: Mammals don't faze me but I absolutely SKEEVE (as we say in NY) - those fugly creepy-crawlies which seem to have it out for me specifically, I swear! I could walk into that bathroom, see a fucking cricket with its back to me and it will TURN AROUND TO STARE AT ME belligerently! WTF? Hubby IS good at 'taking care of' them. I do NOT ask.

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Abigail Norling's avatar

And yet you do it! and we love you for it! I honestly don't read much else any more. Thank you!

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Doc Blase''s avatar

The Gulf of Release The Epstein Files did it for me. 😄🍦

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cablecargal's avatar

No pressure; right?

We don't want your health to suffer just to entertain us. Just do your best and we'll all still be here, supporting your writing.

Relax, breathe, we're here for you!

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY! We ALL want Jeff (and Mrs. Spouse) healthy and not at all stressed with the disgusting crap going on these days.

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Garret Fitzgerald's avatar

Somehow you manage.

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Doc Blase''s avatar

And if there should be a rare Tiedrich gap, there's martinis.

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Tess's avatar

Jeff I’m not receiving your emails lately…is this a new thing??

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Doc Blase''s avatar

You guys should be, I'm getting them regularly.

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Tess's avatar

I used to get his emails before it showed up on Substack… so now I have to keep checking substack…but I’ll survive! lol

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Tess's avatar

I’ve gotten them for almost 2 years (?) but the last several days…none. hmmm

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Hannah olufs's avatar

It's the app. They claimed it was fixed yesterday. Don't know about today. I have missed some too

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Tess's avatar

I don’t use the app….hmmmmm

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Hannah olufs's avatar

Could have been the website. I thought the report was just about the app.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

check your old mail? Depends on your server, maybe? I'm on a desktop and every once in a while when I can't find it, sure enough - old mail despite my NOT having read it yet. I don't want to read Jeff on an app since I'm still too new with cellphones I know I'll fuck it up and lose everything I've saved. Windows 10 will 'die' in October and MY desktop can't handle Windows 11 so now I'm faced with having to get a new computer (I prefer desktops) so am unsure just how much I'll be able to switch over and when. NOT doing this myself...my on-call techie guy is going to do all of this asap. Would be nice to be able to get all of my photos and videos onto a thumb drive and usable wherever I choose.

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Ben Zamir's avatar

Neither am I.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

I’ve had a couple of missing ones, too.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Have a look at "The Moronic Inferno". The blackest times offer the blackest humor.

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Jane's avatar

You are so hilarious!!!

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BDBoop's avatar

Dude, you make my day every day, so thanks for staring at the ceiling, 10/10 for execution.

Not 'fishing boat' execution, just normal ... erm ... - you know what, never mind.

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Watching Rumproast's brain turn to tapioca would be fun if it weren't for the consequences. Anyway, I have no space for him in my brain today. I'm in mourning. NO, not for the jackass. For Robert Redford. (Saw him once at Art's Deli on Ventura Blvd. in Studio City, ordering from the bakery. Very very short. Kept giving him side eye to see if it was really him. It was.)

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

It is a great loss. Redford was so talented.

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Ann Anderson's avatar

And a good guy from all accounts. Makes me feel old when one of my youthful crushes passes.

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

I think he was my first serious movie star crush! Totally swoon-worthy!! <3 My heart broke when I saw the news this morning. :'(

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Same here, Mary. But the important thing is that he did a lot of good in the world, so he deserves honoring more than a mere "celebrity."

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

Oh, I agree 100% - I was just reliving a few fantasies :) He was "all-around awesome"!

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

True DAT!

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Ann-💯💯💯

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

The Way we Were with Streisand cemented ME as a fan of his (and hers of course) for life.

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displacedCTYankee's avatar

I saw Paul Newman in the pits at Lime Rock Park, Memorial Day 1977, and was surprised at how short he was. About 5-9, which IMO is the Perfect Height for a dreamboat man!

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I'm 5-9 but I'm more of a rowboat man.

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Lady Emsworth's avatar

Saw a Lonely hearts ad. once "Guy, 37, Einstein/Schwarzenegger cross. Only problem, it's Arnie's brain and Albert's body!"

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arne link's avatar

Oh, Lord. I would have responded immediately. Very cute.

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Lady Emsworth's avatar

I must admit, I was tempted. I do like a guy with no ego and lots of humor.

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arne link's avatar

I find big men threatening. I suppose it's just me. My beloved was about your height. Perfect.

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Gently, Jack Jones's avatar

Me too in terms of height,

but it’s canoes 🛶 for me.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

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BluDotInARedSewer's avatar

😉🤓😂

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Mps's avatar

😂😂😂😂

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Permian Extinction's avatar

6'3" or 6'4".

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Rhesus's avatar

But he was woke! No statue for him!

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Ann Anderson's avatar

That's ok. We got him on film. :-)

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meryl selig's avatar

Yes. He was a big person but short indeed

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Yes, sad day for those of us who found Redford extremely talented both as an actor and director. 😢

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Deb Martina's avatar

He was 5'10", no❓⁉️💔

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Ann Anderson's avatar

He looked taller onscreen cuz of movie magic.

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Gina's avatar

I've read that ideal people for the movie camera are shortish and with big heads

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Ann Anderson's avatar

There are actresses my husband and I call the lollipop girls. Tiny bodies, big heads. (Reese Witherspoon for example.)

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Jane's avatar

🤣🤣

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Sheila D's avatar

Movie magic = milk crate!

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Ann Anderson's avatar

The technical term is apple box -for real -they come in 4 sizes, also called man makers - but probably not in front of the actors using them.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

If true then in my house they're called cat makers.

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Maui Wahine's avatar

I didnʻt know he was born in Santa Monica. Good California boy.

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Garret Fitzgerald's avatar

Redford- gave us hope for humanity.

What a life.

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arne link's avatar

We used to see a lot of celebs in the valley and in Hollywood back in the day. No one approached them. It was fun, though. I once saw Wolfman Jack in South Beach Leather. I loved the Wolfman. That was a good one.

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Jane's avatar

Yes he was great! Really enjoyed his movies 😢

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Norma's avatar

😢

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Doc Blase''s avatar

What a way to find out, in a Substack thread. Our memories will keep him alive.

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Geoff Anderson's avatar

Sadly, the SCOTUS ruling last year made it so that as long as it is an "official act" that Trump (or any president) can't be held accountable.

Sure, after he's out and if he sets foot in a country that actually supports the ICC, he will be arrested, but unless and until that, he can kill all the Venezuelan villagers and fishermen he wants.

I am surprised that the military men are accepting these clearly illegal orders. I was under the impression that it was their duty to the Constitution of these here United States that makes it their duty to refuse illegal orders.

Seems that I was lied to, and that yes, there are plenty of rank and file as well as leaders in the military that are just a-OK with this.

God help us.

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Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

Oh, just watch how fast they backtrack on the ruling about holding a president accountable for "official" acts once he's no longer in office. You really think they're going to let a Democratic president have that kind of immunity? Nope, they're going to be all, "Well maybe we were a bit hasty with that ruling."

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DrBDH's avatar

The military following these illegal orders can be prosecuted, even if Trump can’t. Or they can be court martialed for refusing. Several top military brass tried to explain that to the Supreme Court before they ruled that Trump is a king, but I guess they didn’t dumb it down enough for Kavanaugh, Thomas, Gorsuch, Roberts, Barrett and Alito. Next time make it like a GI Joe comic, boys.

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rlritt's avatar

I doubt he has any say. evil people are whispering in his ear. He is a narcissist who insists as long as he is worshipped and makes everyone believe its his idea, and he can take credit and feel like a big man.

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arne link's avatar

I believe that he actually likes murder. I believe that what Putin holds over him is a snuff film. Sorry, I AM a rational person, but it has to be something so evil that everyone would turn against him.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Snuff and pee tapes

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Robert Eckert's avatar

I was thinking more a video featuring a sobbing twelve-year-old girl

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Sheila D's avatar

I totally agree with his, Arne. I've thought this, and said this, all along!

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SethTriggs's avatar

Taney Court 2.0 definitely is a major ingredient of Maladministration 2.0!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Geoff, I wonder about this too. It looks like our military is toast. Following illegal orders is up their alley these days. Let's cut the war budget. I mean, it's no longer a defense budget, right?

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Richard's avatar

We are now officially the “bad guys” (and I don’t like it). We’re strutting around blowing ships out of the water and our court says we can fuck you. We’re the ones taking little kids lunch money and laughing. Our leaders are sex traffickers and pedophiles and fuck you if you don’t like it. And you’d better mourn our dead stochastic murderer/terrorist (European parliament moment of silence?) and let your own wannabe dictators off (Bolsonaro anyone?) or will tariff the living fuck out of you. All we need now is millions (more?) deaths and we can vie with Nazi germany, Soviet Russia, and Genghis Khan for the evil empire hall of fame.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Secret Service takes same oath to protect the Constitution Geoff, from foreign and domestic threats…well…

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Robert Eckert's avatar

And those military officers are not immune from prosecution.

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Sheila D's avatar

No, Geoff, that is not how it works. The US is not a member of the ICC. The only was to "get him" is if he commits a crime while physically in a member country.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Waiting for the ICC to indict him so he can be an international fugitive like Putin

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Mary Hall's avatar

Unfortunately, the US is not a signatory to the ICC. If it were GeeDumbya Bush and Cheney The Dick would have been put on trial in The Hague for war crimes.

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DuduLovesBubu's avatar

Is the UK a signatory to the ICC? They are about to have a not well received war criminal in their midst. They need to take President Big Boy Pants into custody and deport him to the Hague.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

You are SO right. The Hague, the next stop. Maybe King Charles III is planning on this!

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arne link's avatar

Why are they inviting the felon again? I just don't get it. He's toxic. He's a criminal. Really?

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Sheila D's avatar

Nope, doesn't work that way. Read up on it. We are not a member of the ICC--they can't touch him unless he commits a crime while physically in a member country.

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Leu2500's avatar

We may not a signatory, but they still didn’t travel outside of the US after W’s presidency. Ditto Rumsfeld.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Damn

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Correct, Mary!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Yes, but you notice, Bush and Cheney have never left the country. It's been a long 17 years, but I think they remember Pinochet's little trip to Spain.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

IIRC a plane carrying Bush or Cheney nearly had to land in a country they would have been arrested. Either nearly shit his pants LTBW!

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Don’t hold your breath, Doc.

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Sheila D's avatar

We are not a member of the ICC--can't happen.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I blame every bit of this on SCOTUS’s disastrous decision, which gave Donny unchecked immunity.

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Joyce's avatar

I was under the mistaken impression, for most of my life, that the US Constitution was, y'know, like LAW. I failed to realize that it was just a collection of suggestions......

If I won the lottery, I would buy up about 2500 (I'd say 250, but it's not enough, so this is better to celebrate the USA) copies of The Pocket Constitution and spend an hour or so throwing them at the door of the Supreme Court building.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Yeah, I was under that same mistaken impression. But you don’t even need to win the lottery. You can start with just SIX copies of the Constitution and hand them to the reactionary Neanderthals of SCOTUS. In fact, you only need to buy three, because I’ll go halvsies with you.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

John Roberts created a president who publicly brags "I can do anything I want." The other 5 backed him. It's on them forever.

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Christine Zepka's avatar

I taught 8th grade Civics. My head is ready to explode every fucking day of this nightmare regime🤯

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Charles Austin's avatar

I'd staple one to the forehead of each justice.

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HiImWhitney's avatar

Well, 6 of them, anyway.

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Cyndi's avatar

If I won the lottery, i would just buy the Supreme Court. It is probably cheaper.

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Joyce's avatar

Clarence does have expensive tastes, though, you must admit.

I just want the momentary fun of pelting six of the grifters with copies of a document they have, obviously, never read.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Thomas got his hand out already! Grease his palm, please!

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Margaret's avatar

Brilliant, Cyndi!

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PTW's avatar

We have all learned so much about the law and that "precedent" isn't real and imaginary guardrails in the last 10 years.

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Mary Hall's avatar

That and the whore media that blesses every fked-up thing T💩p does.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

MAGA Media blesses it. The rest normalizes it. So, same result.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

But that was an essential element to the unfolding of this timeline (I'm getting off at the next branch point). If John Roberts didn't grant Donny his Very Special Boy immunity, Donny may have actually been constrained on some things (maybe). A constrained Donny may have been a more stable and viable Donny over a longer timeframe. The crash and burn stage whereby the United States descends into conflagration would, possibly, be forestalled a bit longer. This delay could have enabled the totalitarians among us to better consolidate power to sustain a longer-lived Reich.

The unfortunate, sad, and very no-good assassination of late has convinced me that things are moving to a New Level. There will be more of what we've seen so far, there will also be newer things appearing, some of which we haven't yet envisioned. This is now a system in a positive feedback loop. When it hits the harmonic, it will fly apart.

John Roberts' name will live in infamy.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

I'm reading some of what you're saying on several fronts, George, and I have a feeling you're absolutely right. Can you tell me why you've come to this conclusion? I'd love to have some rationale to back up my intuition.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

First off, I'm never absolutely right. I'm right on some things, sometimes. Which is the whole point. The chaos is accelerating, and there are an increasing number of variables at play every day. Bottom line, I think Donny is a one-trick pony and his trick has run its course. I don't think he's up to it, whatever 'it' is. As always before, he reacts, pulls back, reacts (lately it's been called the 'TACO play', but he's done it his entire life), all while bellowing about how invincible he is. He feels himself, correctly, slipping into irrelevance. All his cards have been played, everyone has seen his nightclub schtick, so he stretches even wider out to do something outrageous to get back into attention.

The problem is that the effects of what he's done before have accumulated and are paying dividends of their own over time, and the interest is compounding. They are now outstripping the attention he can get with new outrages. So he is now openly committing war crimes, directly. His lackeys are paddling as hard as they can to keep his canoe upright, but they have their limits.

What's next? No idea.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Thank you for sharing your thought process. A very old, dear friend relayed this morning that he is becoming aware of profound changes in the wind. Not just political in nature, but deeper than that. He believes, as you said, that the entire thing---that is, the turbulence we're feeling---is approaching critical mass. It just struck me as more than coincidental that I'd hear essentially the same prediction, if you will, from such divergent sources on the same day. And that these ideas would echo my own thoughts. Not to get all mystical fu-fu, but perhaps this is synchronicity in play here. But maybe I sound a little crazy....

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Hollie Rood's avatar

💯

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Good focus today. It’s fucking hard to know how to do all you do without circling back to the previous moment’s insanity/inanity, and it ain’t funny but it ain’t not funny and you manage to make something coherent AND hilarious outta all this. It’s like William Gaines and the usual gang of idiots have appeared as gentle ghosts into your backyard and are guiding you to reawaken the golden age of MAD Magazine. Thanks once again. You help us breathe.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today's prime directive I gave myself was 'try to write about something besides Charlie Kirk'

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

True fact: the first "big" purchase I made with my allowance was buying a $2.50 yearly subscription to Mad Magazine. Approximately 1963.

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Mad editors were often referred to as "the usual gang of idiots." Sadly, usurped by Trump Cabinet . . . but without the sense-of-humor. What, us worry?

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Same. A few years earlier. Glorious. Only Don Martin could capture the absurdity of this fucking moron cosplaying mafia capo.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Absolutely agree with you Neal- Don Martin was the best!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I got every edition at the nearby store Kathleen. The catholic school I attended had its students peddling magazine subscriptions, door to door. MAD was never one of them though!

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Brenda Ball's avatar

Also one of the early subscribers to MAD magazine. Loved the back ‘fold on the lines’ cover! Read every edition all the way through. Those were the days.

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

THANK YOU! I’m tired of reading about him.

Not from you, of course, but just *everywhere.*

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steve robertshaw's avatar

I'm so hoping some new thing comes into trump's attention zone to take his tweeting away from Kirk. Because if he drops some subject, the MAGA hive immediately follows.

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Rhesus's avatar

Agreed. Kirk doesn't warrant this much time and attention. Mind you, it's been a godsend to the Pervert In Chief.

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Permian Extinction's avatar

There is no such thing as Charlie Kirk.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Smart.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Charlie Murder site launched after his death was available Jeff…sayin’!

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Jon Notabot's avatar

I appreciated that. Enough on it already.

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Suki Herr's avatar

Trump appears to have no remorse or even 2nd thoughts about extra judicial killings. Actually he seems fine with any killings. Especially those that boot Epstein off the front page.

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meryl selig's avatar

That is why he quietly loved the Charlie Kirk diversion… and the extra “justification” Goebbels-Miller needed for more vengeance

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Kim Nesvig's avatar

Every such staged event is part of the Epstein cover-up.

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Maui Wahine's avatar

He gets off on it. I have him pegged as a sadist.

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arne link's avatar

Agreed!

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Zija Pulp's avatar

No, he doesn’t have any remorse. He’s basically a psychopath who loves death and killing. The fact that this has helped him obscure the Epstein scandal is icing on the cake.

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rlritt's avatar

From an article about Peter Theil in New Republic. "In yet another troubling sign of these times, Peter Thiel can’t stop talking up the Antichrist. This month, the tech billionaire is delivering a four-part, closed-door lecture on the topic, which he is framing as “political theology,” in San Francisco. It’s part of what you might call an “Antichrist World Tour.""

Fuuuuuck!!

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meryl selig's avatar

Sick fuck with way too much money. The man who “made” JD Vance

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Dave Drell's avatar

I thought that couch “made” Vance?

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Kim Nesvig's avatar

Perhaps Peter is the AntiChrist.

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Joyce's avatar

In the vein of, "It takes one to know one."

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

He's not. The Antichrist is/will be charismatic. For a while it looked like Trump was the Antichrist and Musk was the False Prophet. But they broke up! Anyway, you can read all about the ludicrous things these believers believe here:

https://tinyurl.com/ypmelyhk

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Ooh goody. More chances for a Christofascist to use Jews as props in the coming eNd TiMeS.

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DuduLovesBubu's avatar

Pete needs to concentrate on more important matters, such as how do I make my gay dick live forever.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Holy Mother of Somebody! Hilarious Dudu!!

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Robert Eckert's avatar

The Antichrist is in the Oval Office right now.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

I wish he and Yarvin would stay out of the Bay Area. Yarvin is supposed to live in my city. Alameda County, probably the best infrastructure in the country. I guess he doesn't mind paying taxes.

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jcali129's avatar

The Trump administration IS a lawless, sadistic pariah. So far beyond an international embarrassment.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Personally, I think the new NFL kickoff rules are greatly improved. Last year, only 27% of kickoffs were returned. This year, it is over 75%. Just more Pretzel Logic from Squeely Ham.

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Rosemary Orlandi's avatar

I love " squeely ham" ! it's perfect .

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Hollie Rood's avatar

Yes! And no way did he write that whatever it’s called on his *truth*🤢bs

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Beat me to it, Hollie. True of both the posts that Jeff shows here. Someone is taking his blatherings, sanitizing them, and putting them out in fairly rational form, in complete sentences, with passable punctuation. Which begs the question, why is he no longer writing his own posts?

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arne link's avatar

Maybe his hand is sore?

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Or he can no longer type...

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Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

When he reaches the point where he can no longer read a speech, we’ll know the dementia has caught up to him!

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

He's kinda there now, I think. He starts to read whatever he's been given---not his own thoughts, mind you---and then veers off into pure babble. Remember the other day that, when asked how he was getting through his "friend's" death, he said he was doing pretty well, and in the same breath, started in on his golden ballroom.

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Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Oh I agree. He’s befuddled, all right. But given a printed speech, he still seems able to read it. Once he can no longer do that, he’ll be 99% gone. My mother died of late-onset Alzheimer’s and reading was the first skill to go. Then, within months, speaking, then eating/swallowing. The last two weeks of her life, all she did was breathe. (She lived to be 95 so we were all grateful to have had her in our lives as long as we did.)

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

I know that's a sad progression to have to watch, especially with a loved one, Joanne. Not that it makes it better, but at least your mom's suffering happened over a fairly short period of time. My mother-in-law went through that with a friend some years ago.

You definitely were lucky to have your mom to age 95, though. What a blessing!

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Safety has increased because the defenders can’t get a long running start, unimpeded to the returner. They have to wait until the kick is touched. I’m not a big fan of recent rule changes, but, this one seems to be working fairly well.

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Dave Drell's avatar

But i thought the purpose was to minimize injuries during kickoffs! not increase them… oh wait, NFL paying lip service to safety?

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Patricia Harmanci's avatar

Jeff darling no one tops you in interpreting the evils bestowed upon us by this idiot. You done good!

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PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

I read two comments from Australians wondering how we could “let” this happen to our country. I got nothin. It’s like watching someone speeding into a brick wall.

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Susanna J. Sturgis's avatar

Except we've been heading in this direction at least since Reagan and more likely since Nixon.

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PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

No lie. Slow motion at first but recently accelerated.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Let's not leave out J. Edgar Hoover.

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Susanna J. Sturgis's avatar

No way! I've made mention of JEdgar on other Substacks, and of the hysteria that followed the Russian Revolution and WWI in the U.S. It was anti-"red" but it was also anti-Black and anti-immigrant (think Sacco & Vanzetti).

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Jon Notabot's avatar

Sacco & Vanzetti - very appropriate.

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Wendymae's avatar

We got here because the only "speech" that really matters in the USA is money.

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JOEL's avatar
2dEdited

“Watch this before it is taken down. Alfred Street’s Pastor Dr. Howard-John Wesley Speaks on Charlie Kirk and the State of Play for Blacks in America. Pastor "Goes There" Hard On Charlie Kirk”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvhcY7ZbHL4&t=3s

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

I’m an atheist, but I will absolutely follow Pastor Howard-John Wesley. Preach!

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Same here, 2Cats.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Watched and boy h boy more of this!

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I know its like a broken record, but I feel like we also have to talk about (with all the KIRK bullshit floating around), Rage Theology (I didnt coin this, but I wish I had), and what it means exactly.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/rage-theology-the-warped-worldview

But Jeff, Trumpty Mouth Anus tells us there are no boats...anywhere...fisherman boats arent out there, because fisherman boats carry drugs and shit.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

I guess this doesn't go into my Bible folder. I hope there's something good today, as usual.

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Janet Muchnik's avatar

Isn’t there one member of Congress who is willing to point out that blowing up ships and killing people is an act of war? Not even one?

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rlritt's avatar

There probably are but the press doesnt cover Democrats, so their protests will never be heard.

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SethTriggs's avatar

Murc's Law is Cruise Control for Cool (and Clicks!) That's why the pricktator gets to be able to do things like extrajudicial killing sprees, and blithering about whatever topic gets in his craw, and decomposing before our very eyes.

We need not expect any cogent thoughts from here on out. The raccoon and squirrels in his cranium have long since peaced out. There's only a morass of urine-soaked insulation and frayed wires in there. Sometimes the wires short-circuit and some batshit word puree tumbles out of the pricktator's mouth-anus, but otherwise there's just nothing there.

And yeah no reporter is going to ask the pricktator what is wrong with him. The media outlets' Republican owners would be upset about such a thing; it might endanger their ability to get those Republican tax cuts! You note how cute and adversarial they got with Joe Biden (and Kamala Harris), well there's none of that now. And we know why.

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