elderly golfer’s gullible cultists are screwing themselves by believing his lies
and Obama gives a barn-burner of a speech
Donny Convict spews a lot of lies — and Donny’s worshipers believe these lies, because the cultists are dumb as day-old mud and gullible as fuck, and take everything Dear Leader tells them as the gospel truth.
why? because for fifteen years Donny was the host of a game show where everybody pretended that he was some kind of super-genius who had the answer to everything. the producers of The Apprentice were the original sanewashers. they took hours of footage of Donny saying the stupidest shit imaginable and edited out all the crazy, making Donny appear to be a wise captain of industry.
lately, Donny’s been lying his face off about FEMA in order to score election-year political points. FEMA won’t help you, Kamala is a commie rat bastard and she’s going to take your house away, blah blah blah.
right now, there’s a MAGA dipshit in North Carolina who is putting his own life in danger — because he’s a credulous dope who believes every fever-swamp hallucination that oozes out of Dear Leader’s rancid anus-mouth.
A desperate man in North Carolina has blamed Donald Trump and right-wing misinformation for his father-in-law’s refusal to accept help from FEMA in the wake of Hurricane Helene.
On a recent episode of the Dan Abrams Show on SiriusXM, a man named Anthony called in and said the relative, who lives in Asheville, North Carolina, refused assistance from FEMA after the region was battered by the devastating hurricane.
Anthony stated that his father-in-law was afraid that FEMA would “take his house” if he accepted assistance from the agency.
ace job, Donny. this poor schnook is starving — but when FEMA showed up to help, he told them to fuck straight off.
“I mean, he lost almost everything, and he’s refusing all help from the federal government and complaining to us that he doesn’t have food, that he doesn’t have the stuff he needs, and yet he won’t accept the help,” the caller said. “What the hell are we supposed to do? We’re not in a position where we can fly across the country and help him. There’s people begging us to get him to accept help and he won’t do it.”
beautiful. this gullible fool has run out of food. he doesn’t have clean water. his life has collapsed all around him — but when his stressed-out son-in-law tried to debunk Donny’s lies, the cultist told him to fuck straight off.
“We’ve sent him … all the FEMA bulletins. We’ve sent him all the stuff from the fact-checkers. He just doesn’t believe it. He thinks it’s all — he just believes Trump, literally, Dan,” Anthony said. “He just — it’s a cult! He’s a cult member. I’m sorry to say it, he’s a cult member. And he’s my father-in-law and it sucks.”
Donny Convict is Jim Jones on steroids. only 900 people died at Jonestown when they drank Jim’s cyanide-laced kool aid. how many people are now fucking their own lives all to hell because Donny Convict has filled their ears with dangerous nonsense?
oh hey — worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media, can we talk? could you all maybe please stop pestering President Biden with inane questions?
here’s an exchange from yesterday. a reporter actually asked Joe if he’d spoken to Donny.
Biden: “Are you kidding me? ‘Mister President Trump, former President Trump. get a life, man. help these people.’”
reporter: “will you hold him accountable? you said you were going to hold him accountable.”
Biden: “the public will hold him accountable. [pointing to the press] you better hold him accountable, because you know the truth.”
seriously, media, do your fucking jobs. do you really expect the President of the United States to waste his valuable time on a pointless phone call? what could Joe possibly say that would make Donny listen? would Donny even pick up the phone? sorry, Mr. Trump is on another call right now. he’s busy talking to Vladimir Putin.
hey, speaking of lying assholes, it seems that the Space Nazi — a cult leader in his own right — has been playing fast and loose with his promise of “free” Starlink internet access to Hurricane Helene survivors.
when is free not free? when it comes with a bunch of expensive strings attached, that’s when. yes, Helene survivors really can get 30 days of free internet — but not until they first fork over four hundred clams for the Starlink hardware.
Elon Musk pledged to give victims of Hurricane Helene 30 days worth of free access to his satellite-based Starlink internet service — but the billionaire failed to mention that survivors of the disastrous storm that has claimed the lives of more than 200 people will need to fork over $400 for the system’s hardware.
oh, it gets worse. when you sign up for your free month, you’re locked into a contract for $120-a-month service, once your 30 days are up.
According to the company, anyone in the disaster-hit area who signs up for free internet service will then automatically be moved to a $120-a-month residential subscription after the 30-day grace period.
now here’s the icing on the cake.
Kinney Baughman, a resident of Boone, NC, said it wasn’t worth it for residents to take up Musk on his offer given that it would take “months before you get service” — by which time normal internet access will likely have been restored.
everything is a grift with these cult leaders.
the Space Nazi’s promise of “free” Starlink generated all kinds of positive publicity, and he got to bask in being the center of attention for a few days — but his “offer” turns out to be as worthless as Donny’s $99 digital trading cards.
and, after having gleefully emptied their wallets for the my-fingers-are-crossed promise of “free” internet access, or for unspeakably ugly gold spray-painted sneakers, they’ll have then the utter fucking temerity to complain about the price of eggs in Komrade Kamala’s nightmarish dystopian hellscape.
that’s enough about lying liars for now. let’s go out with a metric fuckload truth.
Barack Obama spoke at a rally for Kamala last night. his speech was a barn-burner, because of course it was. Barack’s entire 45-minute speech can be found here — but let me leave you with a couple of clips.
“so I understand people feeling frustrated and feeling we can do better. what I cannot understand is why anybody would think that Donald Trump will shake things up in a way that’s good for you. I don’t understand that, because there is absolutely no evidence that this man thinks about anybody but himself. I’ve said it before — Donald Trump is a 78-year-old billionaire who has not stopped whining about his problems since he rode down his golden escalator nine years ago.”
Obama: “I remember changing diapers. do you think Donald Trump ever changed a diaper?”
crowd: “his own!”
Obama: “[laughs] I almost said that, but I decided I shouldn’t.”
folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.
Goddammit this was Obama’s moment and he seized it. A genuine “barn-burner” of a speech, and after the ashes have cooked from this terrible time, if there remain any history books or films that illuminate our moment, this will be one of those moments that endure. We all can draw courage from the well he has tapped. Now let’s kick some Nazi ass.
There is just no fucking way this race is tied. When we clean their clock on November 5th, the madness will finally wane. Then we can get to work fixing the mess of the last 9 years.