elderly golfer is a deteriorating chaos-monkey
Donny’s going to keep fucking up — it’s what he does
yes, Donny Convict is a tinpot wanna-be dictator, but let’s not forget that he’s also a clownfuckingly incompetent buffoon, and an easily-manipulated bottomless pit of need.
Donny is a burst trash bag of personality defects, and his inability to keep any of his pathologies at bay is already fucking up his agenda.
recall how Rapey McForehead landed his nomination for Director of Retribution: he had zero qualifications, his name wasn’t on any transition team lists — but Gaetz managed to wheedle a ride on Donny’s plane, sit himself down next to Dear Leader, and flatter the shit out of Donny while at the same talking up what an amazing job he would do persecuting Donny’s enemies.
Team Donny was all ‘this guy? come on, he’s a train wreck with list of allegations as long as your ludicrous red necktie’ — but Donny was all ‘Matty says it isn’t true, so fuck you all.’
Another source, who served on the Trump campaign, told Mediaite that when Gaetz was confronted about the allegations of sexual misconduct against him he “denied, denied, denied.”
Donny’s inability to step outside his own delusion-bubble and face reality is how a degenerate sex trafficker with a closet full of skeletons became the first member of Donny’s Confederacy of Sewer Clowns to go down in flames.
it’s the same deal with christofacist ahem alleged sex abuser Pete Hegseth — quite possibly the next sewer clown to find himself unconfirmable.
A source said Hegseth — who has been married three times and has pursued multiple extra-marital affairs — was asked if there were any scandals from his past and even if he had ever signed a non-disclosure agreement.
“He told the campaign there’s no issues,” said the source. “There’s no assault issues. There’s no NDA. Compounding lies.”
Team Donny is trying their damnedest to subvert democracy — and Donny’s pissing all over their best efforts, because he’s a demented chaos-monkey who can’t help himself.
uh oh, it looks like Donny won’t be receiving any more clownishly-oversized ‘love letters’ from his despot bestie Kim Jong-un.
Kim has indicated he’s not interested in working with Trump in his second term despite their past friendliness toward each other. The 40 year-old authoritarian leader said at a recent military conference in the North Korean capital of Pyongyang that he is not interested in any partnership with the United States due to its “unchanging aggressive and hostile policy” toward the hermit kingdom.
it seems that Kim has broken up with Donny, and has a new despot bestie of his own.
The Journal reported that Kim isn’t likely to lobby Trump … due to his deeper relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Kim and Vladdy, sitting in a tree. oh, Donny, I’m so sorry. that’s got to hurt.
Nancy Mace is what happens when a nitwit with a pathological need for constant attention realizes she can get that attention by being the worst person imaginable.
“…lunatics trying to destroy women. that’s the left for you. we survived, and we will continue to survive, and we will continue to thrive, because I’m here for this fight. the second thing I wanted to say is that a lot of people think that being a member of Congress, that, you know, it’s just jet-setting and a lot of glamor and glory and all those things, but the reality can be different.”
oh my god, shut the fuck up already. even your own party is sick to death of your transphobic antics.
oh look, Marjorie Spork Toes Greene has a new job.
boy oh boy, Holy Mike Johnson has given Sporky her own playpen where she can grunt and shriek and fling feces all day long, to her heart’s content. she’s going to be the Congressional point of contact for Vivek and the Space Nazi’s Department of Breaking Shit You Don’t Understand.
so, you have two arrogant dipshits who have no idea how government works, coupled with a deeply unserious rodeo clown who has no idea how anything works. as I never tire of saying, what could go wrong?
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thinks this shit is hilarious.
“This is good, actually. She barely shows up and doesn’t do the reading. To borrow a phrase I saw elsewhere, it’s like giving someone an unplugged controller.”
“Absolutely dying at those two now getting assigned the ‘privilege’ of ‘working’ with MTG. That is actually hilarious. Enjoy, fellas! Very prestigious post you have there.”
‘unplugged controller’ — that’s great. I believe we have a new nickname.
GOP Senator Markwayne Mullin is becoming quite the reliable atrocity-quote generator.
the more we’re learning about Donny’s SecDef non Pete Hegseth’s ahem alleged encounter with a woman who is accusing him of sexual assault, the more horrific it gets.
According to the report, the woman, whose name was withheld, told the police that she ended up in Mr. Hegseth’s hotel room after he spoke at the conference in October 2017 hosted by the California Federation of Republican Women at the Hyatt Regency Monterey Hotel and Spa.
The woman, referred to throughout the report as Jane Doe, said Mr. Hegseth took her phone, blocked his hotel room door when she tried to leave, and sexually assaulted her, ejaculating on her stomach.
now, let’s get Markwayne’s take on this story.
flirting? this is what Markwayne considers flirting?
Markwayne, did you read all the way down to the end of the article?
Because of the nature of the allegations, the attending nurse was required to report the visit to law enforcement authorities.
The police report described the alleged offense as “Rape: Victim unconscious of the nature of the act,” and recommended that the case be forwarded to the Monterey County District Attorney’s Office for review.
women, cover your drink when Markwayne Mullin enters the room.
from the department of corrections:
I really do try to fact-check my posts, but the Monday entry in yesterday’s This Week in Stupid was a double-fuckload of wrong.
first of all, the piece I quoted was from two years ago. I got snookered by a social media post that had all the context snipped off of it to make it seem current.
second, the woman at the center of the story is now a Democratic activist. she’s undeserving of mockery.
third, in the state where this happened, Missouri, Eric Schmitt is no longer the Attorney General, and its citizens just voted to enshrine the right to abortion in its constitution.
ugh. sorry, folks.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
this one's a bit of a podge of hodge, I know. it's basically all the items I didn't have room for in the past week's posts, all wrapped up in one untidy bow
Thanks for admitting when you make a mistake, Jeff. The good news is that your readers understand that it can happen (especially with all the shit you have to sift through daily). The bad news is that you’ll never get a job with Fox News.