elderly golfer in serious cognitive decline rambles through another crazypants speech

and the worthless press, naturally, cleans that shit up

yesterday, Donny Convict gave a speech to the The Economic Club of New York. just who are these clubbers? here, from their own website:

The Economic Club of New York’s membership is curated from the senior executives and leaders in New York City Metro Area. Members are committed to the ideals of respectful and thoughtful conversation and have demonstrated leadership in their field of work. Members are chosen from senior leaders, typically C-Suite, who have distinguished themselves in the areas of finance, technology, law, government, academia, healthcare, real estate, and other economic sectors.

so, basically, serious people who understand their shit.

Donny, however, must have been under the impression that he was speaking to a roomful of MAGA cultists, because he delivered his usual stump speech — complete with all the standard Kamala is the worst, she’s is a commie Marxist, it was so great when we were in but now it’s terrible but we’re gonna make it great again boilerplate blather.

the Economic Club responded with stony silence.

but it was during the question-and-answer session that followed where Donny not only shit the bed, but enthusiastically rolled around in it.

a woman on the panel asked Donny the following question:

“if you win in November, can you commit to prioritizing legislation to make childcare affordable — and if so, what specific piece of legislation will you advance?”

whoa, slow down, lady. what the fuck are you doing, slinging multi-syllabic phrases like “commit to prioritizing legislation” at Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants? the guy barely knows what day it is.

you just know that halfway through the question, the bees that live inside Donny’s head started buzzing extra loudly — because when it was his turn to answer, out came a torrent of incoherent word salad.

“well, I would do that, and we’re sitting down, you know, and I was, somebody, we had uh Senator Marco Rubio, and my daughter Ivanka was so, uh, impactful on that issue. it’s a very important issue. but I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I’m talking about, that, because, look, child care is child care, it’s couldn’t, you know, there’s something, you have to have it — in this country you have to have it. but when you talk about those numbers compared to the kind of numbers that I’m talking about by taxing foreign nations at levels that they’re not used to — but they’ll get used to it very quickly — and it’s not gonna stop them from doing business with us, but they'll have a very substantial tax when they send product into our country. uh, those numbers are so much bigger than any numbers that we’re talking about, including child care, that it’s going to take care. we’re gonna have — I, I look forward to having no deficits within a fairly short period of time, coupled with, uh, the reductions that I told you about on waste and fraud and all of the other things that are going on in our country, because I have to stay with child care. I want to stay with child care, but those numbers are small relative to the kind of economic numbers that I’m talking about, including growth, but growth also headed up by what the plan is that I just, uh, that I just told you about. we’re gonna be taking in trillions of dollars, and as much as child care, uh, is talked about as being expensive, it’s, relatively speaking, not very expensive compared to the kind of numbers we’ll be taking in. we’re going to make this into an incredible country that can afford to take care of its people, and then we'll worry about the rest of the world. let’s help other people, but we’re going to take care of our country first. this is about America first. it’s about make America great again, we have to do it because right now we’re a failing nation, so we’ll take care of it. thank you. very good question. thank you.

what the small-batch artisanal fuck?

this is Trumpian bluffoonery at its I-didn’t-read-the-book-but-here’s-my-report-on-it finest. three hundred and seventy-six words to basically say we’re going to have a plan and it’s going to be the best plan ever, trust us, you’ll see.

let’s wade into this mess and see if we can decode it.

“my daughter Ivanka was so, uh, impactful on that issue”

really? Donny talked to the millionaire daughter he wants to quote-unquote “date”? Ivanka has a full-time staff of live-in nannies to raise her demon spawn. what the fuck does Ivanka know about the cost of childcare? what did this bubblehead say to Donny that was “uh, impactful”? I’m sorry, but Ivanka’s economic plan is be born into (and also marry into) a family of wealthy grifters and just coast, and so far it’s been working out just swimmingly — for her.

“child care is child care”

thank you for clearing that up, Einstein.

“those numbers are so much bigger than any numbers”

math, how does it work?

“but growth also headed up by what the plan is that I just, uh, that I just told you about”

the “plan” that Donny just, uh, told them about was tariffs — because this dumbfuck still has no idea how tariffs work. he imagines that by slapping tariffs on all imported goods, he’s going to raise a pickeldillionty dollars and everyone in America will have all the money they need to buy all the Trump Steaks they could ever want.

sadly, no.

a tariff is a tax that is levied on an importer the moment a foreign-made product enters our country. the importer passes that cost onto you, the consumer. not one penny of the tariff is paid by any foreign country.

now, feast your eyes on how the AP papered over that shit.

just a successful businessman giving a ‘major economic speech.’ oh, okay.

Trump has embraced tariffs as he appeals to working-class voters who oppose free-trade deals and the outsourcing of factories and jobs. But in his speech Thursday and his economic plans as a whole, Trump has made a broader — to some, implausible — promise on tariffs: that they can raise trillions of dollars to fund his agenda without those costs being passed along to consumers in the form of higher prices.

nowhere in AP’s reporting does it mention that Donny’s plan is an outright fantasy because that’s not how tariffs work.

the AP notes that “some” find Donny’s plan “implausible” — but they never bother to explain why.

The New York Times’ reporting was no better.

but to its credit, the Times was skeptical.

His solution for the deficit? Tariffs. The crisis for middle-class families struggling with child care? The economic growth he said would be spurred by things like tariffs. A complicated international supply chain that has the wings of military aircraft manufactured in one country and the tail in another? Tariffs.

but once again, nowhere in the piece does the Times explain how tariffs actually function — nor do they bother to mention that Donny’s plan is a delusional fantasy.

now, can I have some of what Politico is smoking? I don’t think Politico sent a reporter to cover the speech. I think they were all down in the basement, watching a beat-up VHS copy of Wayne’s World and passing around a fatty — because check out this atrocity.

yo, Politico — pass that doob over here.

not only did none of the mainstream reporting on Donny’s speech bothers to explain who pays for tariffs — nowhere was it mentioned that Donny’s answers were incoherent.

Donny was his usual old rapidly-deteriorating self — but if you didn’t watch any of the speech, or read the transcripts, you would be fooled into believing that Donny gave a rational speech in which he thoughtfully laid out his economic plan.

nothing could be further from the truth.

the indispensable Parker Molloy calls this sanewashing.

The general practice went like this: The press would take something Trump said or did—for instance, using a visit to the Centers for Disease Control to ask about Fox News’s ratings, insult then–Washington Governor Jay Inslee, rant about his attempt to extort Ukraine into digging up dirt on Joe Biden, and downplay the rising number of Covid-19 cases in the U.S.—and write them up as The New York Times did: “Trump Says ‘People Have to Remain Calm’ Amid Coronavirus Outbreak.” This had the effect of making it seem like Trump’s words and actions seemed cogent and sensible for the vast majority of Americans who didn’t happen to watch his rant live.

Donny Convict, by the way, has a name for his crazypants ranting. he calls it the weave.

“you know, I do the weave. you know what the weave is? I’ll talk about like nine different things that all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like— and friends of mine that are like English professors, they say ‘it’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’ but the fake news, you know what they say? he rambled.”

riiiiiight. we’re supposed to be believe that Donny has friends — not a friend, but friends — who are English professors, and that these powerfully-built English professors, barely able to button their tweed sportcoats over their muscular upper bodies, are coming up to Donny and saying, as they wipe away the tears of gratitude pouring from their eyes, sir! sir! no one speaks as brilliantly as you! sir! how do you do it?

naturally, The New York Times is only too happy to play along.

Asked for examples of the technique, the Trump campaign provided what it called a “masterclass weave” — a four-minute, 20-second video of the candidate speaking at a rally in Asheville, N.C., in August in which he bounces from energy bills to Hunter Biden’s laptop to Venezuelan tar to mental institutions in Caracas to migrant crime to “the green new scam” to Vice President Kamala Harris.

In its disjointed way, it did all sort of seem to wend back to why he thinks he should be president again.

got that? Donny may have been blithering about boats and sharks and Hannibal Lecter, but he wasn’t an incoherent mess after all — because “it did all sort of seem to wend back.”

the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media spent months picking apart every single one of Joe Biden’s public appearances and pouncing on every verbal stumble, using them as proof that SEE? SEE? THE MAN IS TOO OLD AND UNFIT FOR OFFICE.

they were relentless, and finally hounded Joe out of the race — and now these same shitfucks are giving Donny’s obvious cognitive deficiencies yet one more free pass.

sir! sir! no one speaks as brilliantly as you! sir! how do you do it?