the press can fuck straight off, let us count the ways

the media continues to make excuses for Donny’s incoherence

the lazy stenographers of the corporate-controlled media continue to fail us. they dissect the Harris-Walz campaign under a microscope, while at the same time issuing Donny Convict the endless series of free passes he’s been granted his entire privileged life.

the Republican-manuufactured “Tim Walz stolen valor” smear job was treated with dead seriousness for days on end — yet the much-more-real and horrifying story of Donny accepting what looks like a ten million dollar bribe from Egypt came and went in less than one news cycle.

hello, media? it seems that five days before Donny’s inauguration in 2017, Egyptian President Abdel Fatah El-Sisi had ten million dollars IN CASH withdrawn from National Bank of Egypt and loaded onto an airplane. where did it go? the FBI is pretty sure the money ended up in Donny’s pockets — but there was never any serious investigation, because Bill Barr shut that shit right down. in fact, the outgoing Trump DOJ never mentioned anything about it to the incoming Biden DOJ, and now the federal statute of limitations has passed.

shouldn’t anyone in the press be looking into this blatant corruption and cover-up? Donny keeps holding these sham “press conferences” — might at least one reporter ask Donny about it?

crickets.

on Friday, Kamala revealed her economic plan. the Washington Post Editorial Board couldn’t wait to dismiss it.

Vice President Kamala Harris’s speech Friday was an opportunity to get specific with voters about how a Harris presidency would manage an economy that many feel is not working well for them. Unfortunately, instead of delivering a substantial plan, she squandered the moment on populist gimmicks.

the WaPo is, of course, dead fucking wrong. one example: they insist that corporate greed is not causing price increases.

The vice president instead opted for a less forthright route: Blaming big business. She vowed to go after “price gouging” by grocery stores, landlords, pharmaceutical companies and other supposed corporate perpetrators by having the Federal Trade Commission enforce a vaguely defined “federal ban on price gouging.”

this flies in the face of reality. Robert Reich, can you please educate the WaPo?

The CEO of Coca-Cola claimed that the company had “earned the right” to push price hikes because its sodas are popular. Popular? The only thing that’s popular these days seems to be corporate price gouging.

We’re seeing this pattern across much of the economy – especially with groceries. At the end of 2023, Americans were paying at least 30% more for beef, pork and poultry products than they were in 2020.

Why? Near-monopoly power. Just four companies now control processing of 80% of beef, nearly 70% of pork, and almost 60% of poultry. So of course it’s easy for them to coordinate price increases.

corporations raise prices because they can raise prices. Kamala’s going to put an end to this fuckery.

you can agree or disagree with her methods, but at least Kamala has put forth an actual plan.

what about the other person in the race? he can’t even articulate his economic plan — because every time he tries, the monkey inside his head starts crashing the cymbals, and out of Donny’s mouth comes drivel.

recall Donny’s quote-unquote “press conference” from three days ago — the one he held at his weed-choked New Jersey golf motel and ex-wife cemetery. Donny’s gonna talk about the economy, Team Trump told us — and sure enough, there was Donny, complete with a table piled high with breakfast foods.

Donny read from some prepared remarks for about thirty seconds, but then the head-monkey did its thing, and for the next hour and a half, out came a fever-swamp litany of every grievance, grudge, and — well, let’s revisit how The New York Times described it.

Mr. Trump bounced between his proposals to fight inflation, his dry recitation of economic figures that he used to criticize Ms. Harris and the Biden administration and a number of other wide-ranging tangents, including complaints about Hillary Clinton, windmills, the news media and President Biden’s decision to exit the race.

“wide-ranging.”

the closest Donny ever comes to talking about economics is that moment during every speech where he holds up two Tic Tac boxes and shrieks inflation!

might someone in the press ask Donny what the fuck he’s yammering about?

crickets.

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Commander Crazypants held another off-the-rails hate-rally yesterday. here’s how the Guardian framed it.

Donald Trump tried to reset his campaign at a rally in battleground Pennsylvania on Saturday as polls show Kamala Harris pulling ahead in key swing states.

But the former president quickly broke away from the prepared speech about economic issues to launch personal attacks on Harris including accusations that her agenda is both communist and fascist, and that she has “the laugh of a crazy person”.

seriously, Guardian? Donny’s hate-rally was supposed to be a “campaign reset”?

we’re eight years into Donny’s grab-bag of pathologies being inflicted on us on a daily basis, and the media continues to foist this fairy tale that any minute now, Donny is going to magically turn into a human being.

news flash: Donny isn’t ever going to change. he’s incapable of it. he’s the same person he was eight years ago — a racist, sexist, greedy, power-hungry, low-wattage imbecile with a toddler’s understanding of the world, no impulse control, and the attention span of a coked-up squirrel.

there is never going to be a reset.

for fuck’s sake, the guy still has no idea how tariffs work.

“a tariff is a tax on a foreign country. that’s the way it is, whether you like it or not. a lot of people say ‘it’s a tax on us,’ no it’s not, no no. it’s a tax on a foreign country.”

no no no no no no. fuck no.

a tariff is a tax that is levied on an importer the moment a foreign-made product enters our country. the importer passes that cost onto you, the consumer. not one penny of the tariff is paid by any foreign country.

any child with access to google could glean this information in about five seconds — but the simple concept of who pays for tariffs cannot penetrate Donny’s thick skull. he’s been getting it wrong for years.

but please, tell us again how Donny’s gonna reset.

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how does Maureen Dowd still have a job?

here’s MoDo on July 20th.

It makes me sad that Biden doesn’t see what’s inescapable: If he doesn’t walk away gracefully right now, he will likely go down as a pariah and ruin his legacy.

now here she is on August 17th.

We head to Chicago on a wave of euphoria, exuberance, exultation, excitement and even, you might say, ecstasy.

It’s going to be a glorious coronation — except that everyone’s mad at one another.

Top Democrats are bristling with resentments even as they are about to try to put on a united front at the United Center in the Windy City.

some people are just never satisfied.

MoDo got exactly what she asked for — Joe Biden gracefully walking away — and then she realized oh fuck, ‘Dems in array’ makes for lousy op-eds. so now she’s spinning a tale of “top Democrats” allegedly snarling at each other.

can we please dispense with this notion that a handful of Democrats going up to Biden and saying yeah, we might have a better shot at winning this thing if you pack it in is a “coup”?

this is a coup.

it’s a failed coup, granted — because it was planned and executed by morons — but nonetheless, it’s a coup.

the only people calling Biden’s passing of the torch a coup are sour-grapes Republicans, and the compliant media eager to adopt their framing. the GOP and the press were denied the days-long chaos of a brokered Democratic convention that they prayed for, and now all they can do is stamp their feet and shout coup!

boo fucking hoo. it’s binky time for the dipshit brigade!

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no-fucks-left Biden is my favorite Joe Biden.

reporter: “do you have any regrets?”
Joe: “talking to you guys.”