today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
Pope Bob from Chicago is not backing down, having just tweeted this:
"Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic, and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth."
I am SO down with this - and the fact that this wonderful Pope used FILTH properly and sans fear gave me ALL the feels. I'm not about to return to Catholicism - am far too removed from their edicts, but damn, I SO love this American Pontiff and his refusal to be cowed by a whiny idiot. Aren't close to half of SCOTUS at least ostensibly Roman Catholic? hmm
Five of the seditious six are, Gorsuch is Episcopalian, Sotomayer being Latina is Catholic as well. So, six of nine with the Catholic population of the us said to be roughly 20% of the US. (according to pew research polls.)
As a recovering Catholic, trust me, you don’t want to convert. You can, however, enjoy the fact that Pope Bob is doing great work in making the 🍊💩👜 and its cronies look like the idiots they truly are. And hopefully, turning a lot of voting Catholics away from the idiot children currently in charge.
Lapsed Catholic here. I greatly admire Pope Leo. I greatly hate Donald Trump. Why take care away from innocent kids? I don't think it's their or the pope's fault. Why not, as a nation, we take Prez Dumbfuck and his idiots out of Washington? A desert island devoid of air would be nice.
Damn, that about sounds perfect. Throw in frequent storms and shark 🦈 infested waters for entertainment value. (not completely) Naked & Afraid: MAGA Edition.
Oh no. I'd be very suspicious of them until they have scientific proof of the existence of their particular god. They don't. They never will. Don't be a sucker.
I love Pope Bob, but that's where it ends for me. 😅 I can't believe how easily and quickly these fake-ass "believers" in the white house can abandon their beliefs!! I hope that little Johnson gets booed out of his church and I hope his kids are asking LOTS of questions right now.
I was going to say just about the same exact thing Arne. You’re readin my mail as my mom used to say.
The pope is just an honest, awesome person. I don’t ever see myself in another religion but if anyone could lean me that direction it would be Pope Bob
Hahahaha. Better not piss off the Chicago pope, who speaks better English than the num-chucks in Donny's WH. Oh, and please don't trash talk raccoons, Jeff. They would NEVER live in Donny's/Dinsdale's head, but maybe spiny Norman, the occasionally giant hedgehog. Anyway, funny you mention Monty Python, as we are all currently trapped in an endless episode of "Flying Circus" minus the satire.
As much as we democracy loving liberals don't want to believe the depth of faith Trump's cultists have in his "who cares about democracy or an equitable melting pot society" ethos. America is all powerful therefore America can do whatever it wants, to whoever it wants, whenever it wants. Period. That's the Trump doctrine, pure and simple. Anything he says or does to promote American Dominance is AWESOME! (they firmly believe).
Hopefully, this is a small enough minority of Americans that we will win majority victories in the midterms. It will be a VERY noisy victory on both sides when we do.
Those 7-10 million Democrats who sat out the 2024 election to give us Trump had better show up in Nov.🙏
I can only imagine, with no direct observation, that those in the pews are feeling a bit restive of late. Their pastors sold them a bill of goods, they can see for themselves that Trump checks off the Antichrist list, and he lied. About everything. Congregations have been known to fire pastors. I predict that smiting will indeed be back on the menu.
I am a barely-practicing Jew who doesn’t care much for organized religion. But Pope Bob from Chicago could have me baptized and chanting Hail Marys by dinner time.
Me thinks dumpy and his enablers vastly underestimated, (as always their style), the outcome of picking a fight with Pope Leo, better known to all who love him-Pope Bob from Chicago. Chicagoans never back down from a fight and especially one where they "HOLD ALL THE CARDS"! Good luck to dumpy, hegsbreath, just dance and covenant eyes. Give it up guys while you remain are empty handed, so to speak.
It’s embarrassingly easy to identify the politicians that support the working men and women of our country. Just notice who the Republiscum are attacking the most. Mamdani, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Bernie, Pritzger, etc., all in the crosshairs of the Heritage Foundation and the fascists who took over our democratic government. They villainize everyone they fear…the ones NOT beholding to the muthafuckin billionaires.
I love you and your work, and I hope you'll take this suggestion in the view it's intended. I cringe a little bit when you call him "Bob" because it reminds me of when people insist on referring to trans people under their previous names (aka "deadnames.") A good friend of mine posted a meme about this after Leo became pope, pointing out that, see, it's not so hard to respect a person's chosen name, is it? It doesn't detract from any of the points that you make to refer to him as Leo rather than Bob. Whatever you decide, I remain grateful for you and your work in the world, which is helping me and so many others to get through The Horrors.
Nice. All Trumpian roads lead to Russia. I’m loving how the new Prime Minister of Hungary laid bare for the world to see his predecessor Orban had been funneling money to CPAC. What everybody knows is that Orban was getting that money from Putin. Time for the Dems in Congress to probe foreign investment in Republicans’ campaigns. I don’t care how many times you launder it, the money starts in Russia.
You know one of the favorite places for Russians to launder money? High-end NYC and South Florida real estate. Gee, look at those real estate goofballs negotiating with Putin. I wonder what’s most important. Peace in Ukraine or property deals?
Eileen, that's exactly what HRC said during the 2016 campaign, and she got pilloried for it. But she was right about everything. And you're right about the need for investigations. All roads lead not only to Putin, but also through Epstein. Ugh.
Ooooh....I love Manhattans. The cherries called Griottines are absolutely worth your investigation....find them on Amazon. Add a tiny bit of the juice to your concoction. YUM!!
Sadly, I was forced to give up alcohol. My unreasonable doctor has a rule against mixing it with my pain medication. I miss Pinot Grigio most of all, but I also miss the occasional cocktail 🍸 😢. I'll be on pain meds for the rest of my life, so I'll never get to try a dry martini.
(Unless I cheat…which I will likely do when we have midterm results. Please don't tell on me!)
My friends introduced me to the "007" which is a variation of the famous Vesper martini. It uses very, very little vermouth (doesn't need to be Lillet blanc), and equal parts gin and vodka. It's so smooth and delicious. 🍸
Randy, the volunteer bartender at the American Legion in Palm Springs, CA makes the very best 007 ever. Believe it or not, but that place is the hottest ticket in town on Friday nights when they have live music and dancing.
Sometimes, after reading the news, I have a liquid salad in the form of a Bloody Maria! There’s vitamins in there, vegetables, etc. so it’s healthy. The tequila helps with the “what the actual fuck did I just read” syndrome haunting all of us.
Jeff, all this Christian religious talk by this crew just dialing it up more so is amazing to me… they are always so proud of their “alternative reality” spouting “facts”.. Yesterday our minister of offense read a quote purported to be from the Bible, however it was discovered to be from the hit movie Pulp Fiction… I can’t, I just can’t anymore..🤮
While sadly not unusual anymore, when i read about the Tarantino quote i thought it had to be from the Onion or Borowitz report. All of this insanity is enough to make those of us with at least some sanity intact feel insane.
I thought it was funny in its over the top skewering of smokers, Captain Hazelwood of Exxon Valdez infamy, and the hoax of global warming, according to conservative dumbasses
Tiny Mike is a member of the NAR. This is just a quick search from Google but:
"Mike Johnson's Association with the New Apostolic Reformation
Acknowledgment of Influence
Mike Johnson, the Speaker of the House, has publicly acknowledged that the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) has had a "profound influence" on his life. This connection highlights his alignment with the movement's beliefs and goals.
Overview of the New Apostolic Reformation
The NAR is a controversial Christian movement that combines elements of Pentecostalism and evangelicalism. It advocates for a form of Christian dominionism, aiming to influence all aspects of society, including government, and seeks to weaken the separation of church and state.
Political Implications
Johnson's ties to the NAR are significant, especially considering the movement's involvement in political activities, including efforts to support Donald Trump's claims regarding the 2020 election. This connection raises concerns about the influence of religious extremism in American politics.
In summary, Mike Johnson is indeed associated with the New Apostolic Reformation, which plays a notable role in shaping his political views and actions.
Holy Smokes! A combination of Pentecostalism and Evangelicalism, it can't get any worse than that. Plus all the religion in the world won't help Holy Mike Limp Dick Johnson's proclivity towards the action on grindr, just sayin...
Stop posting about Hot Mayor Mamdani! I'm married for crying out loud. :P
Presidential Ass-Kiss Industrial Complex had me cackling.
On the subject of religious fuckery, did you see Kegstand Pete quoting Jules' monologue from Pulp Fiction at a prayer something? I just about died and so did much of the audience who knew it wasn't an actual Bible quote.
JustADick's tome about his conversion to Catholicism has a Methodist church on the cover. Kegseth thinks Jesus wrote the script for Pulp Fiction......
Not only should journalists claim the "What the fuck is wrong with you?" prize, but they should also adopt a query that we would apply to certain people, back in my youth on Long Island: "Does it hurt to be that stupid?"
And Tarentino makes no secret of the inspiration for using nor that it’s made up except for the last two lines. Here’s a hint for the Christo-fascists: Ezekiel was making it clear that the right of vengeance is God’s alone.
Well no wonder the rich were pooping their silk panties when Mamdani was elected. Tiny, tiny violins for alla you entitled jagoffs. Strait of Vermouth. I believe it's near the Sea of Gin and the Mount of Olives. You can't make this shit up.
Probably one of Tuberville's heroes, Adolf Hitler, wouldn't even let my forerunners convert- he just killed them straight out. These trumpers have been rewriting history to make Nazis acceptable- so much more extreme even than 'convert or be killed.' Now that they are paying Geo and CoreCivic to build and run our very own concentration camps, they are even less likely to criticize the Nazis. But, as always, trumpers don't see irony.
I have a comment for each stop on the Big Wheel of Moron. Scott Bessent: If the Earth's natural habitat is water, why can't we breathe in it? The Just War doctrine states that the only just war is a war of self defense when you've been attacked. Accordingly, Iran is the only one fighting a just war right now. Tommy Tubs: "What kind of religion says if you're not in our religion, we'll kill you?" Well, Tommy, at one time Christianity was that kind of religion. And I firmly believe that it would be again if they thought that they could get away with it.
The Christian Nationalists ARE KILLING WOMEN with their misogynistic laws allowing them to bleed out in hospital parking lots instead of giving them the medical care they need.
Tommy got dropped on the head too many times. Given that the base never does actual research on anything and just takes whatever junk is put out there as gospel truth, they'll just bob their heads in agreement or hide in fear. There's a substantial Muslim population near me in Chicago. I work with Muslims. None of them are murderous blood thirsty people who want to kill Christians. My Dad was in the hospital for an open heart procedure some years ago and we were waiting while he was in surgery. There was a large Muslim family waiting in the same area while their loved one was in surgery. They had brought tons of food for their wait. They went out of their way to share with us and were very kind. That's been my experience across the board. Kind and generous. Family oriented.
I'd rather see them in the skit where people are hiding behind 'shrubbery' in a field, and when they stand up they get exploded:
"Mr. Musk cannot be seen. Stand up, Mr. Musk! BOOM!" "Mr. Bezos cannot be seen. Stand up, Mr. Bezos! (No one stands) STAND UP MR. BEZOS!....no, I don't want to. PLEASE STAND UP, MR. BEZOS!....oh...ok.....BOOM!"
Tedious Spellchecker Sez: pied-a-terre (no "i" in the last word, but the stray "i" seems to be sneaking up on everybody here). Sorry all, decades later I'm still trying to avenge my loss in the National Spelling Bee after giving them "illicit" when they were looking for "elicit." 🤣🤣🤣
Fellow spelling nerd here! 8th-grade San Diego County Spelling Bee finals...mispelled a word I know from nervous vibes: adjacent! I knew how to spell it! But you can't self-correct in that Bee, so I started with a-j and tried to go back to add the d, and the buzzer honked at me. Ugh. My math teacher hounded me in front of the class when we studied geometry.
Most of what Holy Brother Johnson references doesn't mean what he thinks it says. Stunningly stupid, amoral, vicious bit of fermented plankton that he is.
As much as we democracy loving liberals don't want to believe the depth of faith Trump's cultists have in his "who cares about democracy or an equitable melting pot society" ethos. America is all powerful therefore America can do whatever it wants, to whoever it wants, whenever it wants. Period. That's the Trump doctrine, pure and simple. Anything he says or does to promote American Dominance is AWESOME! (they firmly believe).
Hopefully, this is a small enough minority of Americans that we will win majority victories in the midterms. It will be a VERY noisy victory on both sides when we do.
Those 7-10 million Democrats who sat out the 2024 election to give us Trump had better show up in Nov.🙏
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
Pope Bob from Chicago is not backing down, having just tweeted this:
"Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic, and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth."
https://x.com/Pontifex/status/2044759211100291129
Pope Bob rocks the world!!!!
IDK, as an atheist or agnostic I'm tempted to convert for Pope Bob.
Atheist here, and I'm not afraid to say I love me some Pope Bob!
Same here, Jane and Arne!
Me too, Cheri, Jane, and Arne!
Jane NC, me, too!!
I am totally with you!!!
Agnostic, but me too!!
I am SO down with this - and the fact that this wonderful Pope used FILTH properly and sans fear gave me ALL the feels. I'm not about to return to Catholicism - am far too removed from their edicts, but damn, I SO love this American Pontiff and his refusal to be cowed by a whiny idiot. Aren't close to half of SCOTUS at least ostensibly Roman Catholic? hmm
Five of the seditious six are, Gorsuch is Episcopalian, Sotomayer being Latina is Catholic as well. So, six of nine with the Catholic population of the us said to be roughly 20% of the US. (according to pew research polls.)
Fellow atheist, and same!
He had me at "darkness and filth."
“filth” here…
"darkness" also present...
I’m biased; But when you need a job done right, hire a Bob
Right on, Bob!
b o o m
You're not biased; you're correct! My late husband's name was Bob. 💞
As a recovering Catholic, trust me, you don’t want to convert. You can, however, enjoy the fact that Pope Bob is doing great work in making the 🍊💩👜 and its cronies look like the idiots they truly are. And hopefully, turning a lot of voting Catholics away from the idiot children currently in charge.
Lapsed Catholic here. I greatly admire Pope Leo. I greatly hate Donald Trump. Why take care away from innocent kids? I don't think it's their or the pope's fault. Why not, as a nation, we take Prez Dumbfuck and his idiots out of Washington? A desert island devoid of air would be nice.
Don't know about a desert island devoid of air, but in approx. 199 days, we can make our Congress devoid of republicans. A good start.
Even better!
🤞🤞🤞
I'm still campaigning for a new MAGAts only resort on Bikini Atoll.
Radioactive and below sea level sounds just perfect for the whole gang!
Damn, that about sounds perfect. Throw in frequent storms and shark 🦈 infested waters for entertainment value. (not completely) Naked & Afraid: MAGA Edition.
("devoid of air" A truly great idea, Jan. That never crossed my mind. Thanks for adding that to the important discussion of: "what's next?")
They’re all so full of hot air, they’ll be OK for a couple of years.
This Quaker is thinking of going to Mass!
I've decided God is God and it's more about following the Golden Rule than a particular religion.
Oh no. I'd be very suspicious of them until they have scientific proof of the existence of their particular god. They don't. They never will. Don't be a sucker.
The High Mass is actually quite a lovely experience - even for lapsed people like me - especially in Latin and with a good choir.
Ditto! But I'd convert only to "Pope Bobism."
Definitely!
good point!!
As a Jewish agnostic the thoughts of converting have crossed my mind too. Love this new pope!
Love it!!!
I love Pope Bob, but that's where it ends for me. 😅 I can't believe how easily and quickly these fake-ass "believers" in the white house can abandon their beliefs!! I hope that little Johnson gets booed out of his church and I hope his kids are asking LOTS of questions right now.
‘smart career moves’ is what it’s called iirc
Same here arne!
Me too 😁
I was going to say just about the same exact thing Arne. You’re readin my mail as my mom used to say.
The pope is just an honest, awesome person. I don’t ever see myself in another religion but if anyone could lean me that direction it would be Pope Bob
good idea, I don't claim any special religion, but his sounds awesome!
Ditto!
Even worse for me. I'm Unitarian... dafuq is going on?
Hahahaha. Better not piss off the Chicago pope, who speaks better English than the num-chucks in Donny's WH. Oh, and please don't trash talk raccoons, Jeff. They would NEVER live in Donny's/Dinsdale's head, but maybe spiny Norman, the occasionally giant hedgehog. Anyway, funny you mention Monty Python, as we are all currently trapped in an endless episode of "Flying Circus" minus the satire.
As much as we democracy loving liberals don't want to believe the depth of faith Trump's cultists have in his "who cares about democracy or an equitable melting pot society" ethos. America is all powerful therefore America can do whatever it wants, to whoever it wants, whenever it wants. Period. That's the Trump doctrine, pure and simple. Anything he says or does to promote American Dominance is AWESOME! (they firmly believe).
Hopefully, this is a small enough minority of Americans that we will win majority victories in the midterms. It will be a VERY noisy victory on both sides when we do.
Those 7-10 million Democrats who sat out the 2024 election to give us Trump had better show up in Nov.🙏
I love this Pope. This girl hasn’t been to church since 8th grade but Pope Leo makes it a possibility again.
As a catholic turned atheist in a war zone I approve of your message Sheila.
Me too !
Yeah, you are aware that almost all of what they'll be talking about will be nonsense and lies-- right? Stay home and read (another) book. IMHO.
This is the direct result of Trump and his “disciples” attempting to lecture the Pope on theology, and I am here for it!
We’ve got a “woe.” Can we get a smite? Anyone got a smite? Please God bring on the smiting.
I can only imagine, with no direct observation, that those in the pews are feeling a bit restive of late. Their pastors sold them a bill of goods, they can see for themselves that Trump checks off the Antichrist list, and he lied. About everything. Congregations have been known to fire pastors. I predict that smiting will indeed be back on the menu.
The MAGA cult army flipped out on X in response to that post. What a fucking freakshow that cult is.
Never read the comments on X.
They are truly depressing....
X …. an example of what becomes of technology over time… it becomes corrupted, evil, and a cesspool of assholes
Trolls always come in and defecate all over if you don't oust them, and sweep afterward any platform becomes the Augean stable.
Or you-tube.
So very true, Jane.
They are the manosphere.
I am a barely-practicing Jew who doesn’t care much for organized religion. But Pope Bob from Chicago could have me baptized and chanting Hail Marys by dinner time.
Some of the Jewish Nazis in Trump’s camp have almost convinced me of becoming antisemitic!
And you can add Bibi to that list.
Bibi the Butcher.
Me thinks dumpy and his enablers vastly underestimated, (as always their style), the outcome of picking a fight with Pope Leo, better known to all who love him-Pope Bob from Chicago. Chicagoans never back down from a fight and especially one where they "HOLD ALL THE CARDS"! Good luck to dumpy, hegsbreath, just dance and covenant eyes. Give it up guys while you remain are empty handed, so to speak.
https://borowitzreport.substack.com/p/trump-claims-popes-election-was-rigged?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=post%20viewer
Hilarious! LOL!
Sock it to em Pope Bob!
Not Catholic
Not even religious
But I love this guy!
If there were more religious guys (and gals) like this, religion might stand a fighting chance of continuing to exist
This killing people while waving the bible has got to stop.
The pope knows this as do all the sane people in the world.
The pope needs to be aided and abetted—not disparaged.
I just spontaneously converted to Catholicism. Smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling right now.
I’m an atheist but I love Pope Bob! Possibly because we both come from Chicago. I even forgive him for being a White Sox fan.
The limits of his power end at the ball field!
This Jewish/atheist gal is definitely in the "Pope Bob from (the South Side of) Chicago" fan club!
Beautifully stated.
Go Pope Bob!! Show all the traitors to this country how it’s done! 🙌
It’s embarrassingly easy to identify the politicians that support the working men and women of our country. Just notice who the Republiscum are attacking the most. Mamdani, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Bernie, Pritzger, etc., all in the crosshairs of the Heritage Foundation and the fascists who took over our democratic government. They villainize everyone they fear…the ones NOT beholding to the muthafuckin billionaires.
I love you and your work, and I hope you'll take this suggestion in the view it's intended. I cringe a little bit when you call him "Bob" because it reminds me of when people insist on referring to trans people under their previous names (aka "deadnames.") A good friend of mine posted a meme about this after Leo became pope, pointing out that, see, it's not so hard to respect a person's chosen name, is it? It doesn't detract from any of the points that you make to refer to him as Leo rather than Bob. Whatever you decide, I remain grateful for you and your work in the world, which is helping me and so many others to get through The Horrors.
Is it just me or does it sound like every time Hegseth tries to say Strait of Hormuz it comes out “Straight Up Vermouth?”
Bessent is going to sail up the Strait of Vermouth all the way to Manhattan. On the rocks.
I think many in the administration might be considered White Russians
Nice. All Trumpian roads lead to Russia. I’m loving how the new Prime Minister of Hungary laid bare for the world to see his predecessor Orban had been funneling money to CPAC. What everybody knows is that Orban was getting that money from Putin. Time for the Dems in Congress to probe foreign investment in Republicans’ campaigns. I don’t care how many times you launder it, the money starts in Russia.
You know one of the favorite places for Russians to launder money? High-end NYC and South Florida real estate. Gee, look at those real estate goofballs negotiating with Putin. I wonder what’s most important. Peace in Ukraine or property deals?
Eileen, that's exactly what HRC said during the 2016 campaign, and she got pilloried for it. But she was right about everything. And you're right about the need for investigations. All roads lead not only to Putin, but also through Epstein. Ugh.
Definetly not Sex on The Beach
Ugh!
Yep.
Woah Jen ~ good one!!
Jen and Bob, you guys are killing me!🤣
Is it just me, or does anyone else have fantasies of watching somebody smack that smug look off Soybean Scott's face?
Oh......I don't want to WATCH somebody.......................
I have a particularly grotty pair of gardening sneakers that I would happily use on Soybeanssent. In service of my country.
I'll pay good money to see that! You're a true patriot, Joyce!
Me, too! Lots of money.
One of many punchable faces!
I feel th at way about a lot of administration members. This morning I was thinking a lot about someone slapping Hegseth.
Long line that winds around the block.
It's not just you, Jane!!
Yes!!!!!!!! He makes my skin crawl.
Mine, too! Eeeewwww!
Not just you. I would love to slap him upside the head and wipe that smirk off his face. He's so awful.
I pay $100 for that opportunity!
Oh, it’s not just you. In fact, I would be first in line…
🖐️🖐️
I raise my hand to that!
Exactly my experience, too! 😎
Bessent: a stupid stupid person.
He has a very punchable face.
Thank you.
😆
not that there's anything wrong with that, I love a good Manhattan - in a lowball glass with one big rock!
From mid-March:
Too bad the Strait of Hormuz
Ain't filled instead with booze
'Cuz then Whiskey Pete
Might think it neat
To try a tanker cruise
Nice! 👏👏👏
Our new Poet Laureate, folks! 👏👏
😂😂😂
👏👏👏
You are gifted, Doc.
👏👏👏👏👏! Doc!
HAHAH! Is it too early for a martini??
I like a martini. I've never had straight vermouth, tho
My dad’s drink was a Manhattan “very dry,” meaning wave the cap from the vermouth bottle over the glass.
The surrealist filmmaker Luis Bunuel claimed his martini allowed a beam of sunlight to pass through the bottle of vermouth and then land on the gin.
Much like my brother’s suggestion. Bring out bottle of vermouth, present bottle to glass of gin, put vermouth back in cabinet.
I like a gin martini, shaken, not stirred, straight up, with two olives. When served, bow in the direction of France.
My dad would just whisper "vermouth" over his gin martini.
Ooooh....I love Manhattans. The cherries called Griottines are absolutely worth your investigation....find them on Amazon. Add a tiny bit of the juice to your concoction. YUM!!
Not Amazon, Please! Boycott Bezos and all his enterprises.
I'm aware... just not sure where to find these little French cherries.
Me neither.
Coat the glass with vermouth. Blue Cheese, Crisp Olives, Shake the hell out of it. Vodka for me. CHEERS.
That sounds better than a salad for lunch! Mmmmmm!
P.S. Vermouth is disgusting. It is like the vomit from a wino, who also ate a bag of sugary cough drops.
Jennifer Patterson - the black haired 'Fat Lady' said "I like keeping Vermouth around because I'm not inclined to drink it."
If vermouth was the last bottle of booze on earth I'd give it a shot.
Thats an awesome description!
Buy dry Vermouth and mix it with gin. It's sublime.
Sadly, I was forced to give up alcohol. My unreasonable doctor has a rule against mixing it with my pain medication. I miss Pinot Grigio most of all, but I also miss the occasional cocktail 🍸 😢. I'll be on pain meds for the rest of my life, so I'll never get to try a dry martini.
(Unless I cheat…which I will likely do when we have midterm results. Please don't tell on me!)
I agree. Vermouth is gross. I go straight in to most liquors with some ice and a splash of water. Sometimes I leave out the water.
I'm a classicist and prefer good gin. To each his/her own.
Ever had Blue Coat? More juniper forward than most.
My friends introduced me to the "007" which is a variation of the famous Vesper martini. It uses very, very little vermouth (doesn't need to be Lillet blanc), and equal parts gin and vodka. It's so smooth and delicious. 🍸
Believe this or not, I have had that drink at a great restaurant in Ambler, Pennsylvania. It WAS good!!
Randy, the volunteer bartender at the American Legion in Palm Springs, CA makes the very best 007 ever. Believe it or not, but that place is the hottest ticket in town on Friday nights when they have live music and dancing.
It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
In Pete Kegstand’s office, the clock stopped at 5:01.
I keep making the "joke" that I'm gonna replace the water glass by my bed with a glass of Tequila so I can just wake up drunk!
Sometimes, after reading the news, I have a liquid salad in the form of a Bloody Maria! There’s vitamins in there, vegetables, etc. so it’s healthy. The tequila helps with the “what the actual fuck did I just read” syndrome haunting all of us.
Don't do it! I've been down that road. It turns ugly.
What a fabulous idea 💡
It's 5:00 somewhere. Ukraine and Hungary, as a matter of fact (if they haven't switched to daylight savings time yet.)
Never.
I prefer my straight vermouth with a lemon twist 🍸
"Ssshrthrhufph Vermmofffht (hic!)"
LOL
😂😂😂😂
Yup!
LOL that's his usual order.
It’s not just you
😂🤣😂🤣
😂🤣😂
🤣🤣🤣
😂🤣😂🤣
Jeff, all this Christian religious talk by this crew just dialing it up more so is amazing to me… they are always so proud of their “alternative reality” spouting “facts”.. Yesterday our minister of offense read a quote purported to be from the Bible, however it was discovered to be from the hit movie Pulp Fiction… I can’t, I just can’t anymore..🤮
yeah, Pete's fake prayer is shortlisted for this week's 'this week in stupid'
Gets my vote.
Jeff you named it right when you said Wheel of moron.
🤣🤣🤣
You can post AI with yourself divine
But that don't make you a saint
You can deceive your cultist stooges
With your every bullshit feint
You can brag you're making us great again
When it's abundantly clear you ain't
With your anus mouth and labia neck
That means your chin's a taint
Doc working overtime!
It's twoo, it's twoo! 🤣
😜
😂😂😂😂
👏👏👏👏👏
That was a surprise ending! GREAT! Publish, Doc.
This. Well. I can’t even find the words to properly appreciate its perfection. Oh, maybe I did. 🤣
👏👏👏👏
Most of Jules’ recitation from Ezekiel was made up, except the last two lines, and inspired by its use in a martial arts movie from the 1970s.
OMG. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Brings a whole new meaning to eminently quotable
While sadly not unusual anymore, when i read about the Tarantino quote i thought it had to be from the Onion or Borowitz report. All of this insanity is enough to make those of us with at least some sanity intact feel insane.
OMG... Well, Kegger probably has it on a loop so he can watch it over and over and over again...
My best laugh today. Thanks.
What was it? What did Kegsbreath say?
he quoted https://youtu.be/x2WK_eWihdU?t=65 as if that was actually in the Bible
Thank you for this! I haven't seen "Pulp Fiction," so I had no idea what everybody was talking about.
Holy shit, I missed that one and probably woulda caught it cuz I loves me some Pulp Fiction.
"fuckbrainoligarchosis" Get this in the dictionary ASAP! 😂😂
And yes...Waterworld was time I'll never get back. What a shitty movie.
The attack on Pope Bob is going to backfire spectactularly... Limp Dick Mike is just that. WTF.
Everything is a bad cartoon right now...these people never fail to be even dumber the day after they were dumb.
Thanks for the Monty Python, too. It's perfect!!
Waterworld - you can tell the order in which scenes were filmed by how bad Jeanne Tripplehorn’s sunburn was in each.
Thank you, Susan! Was entering the comments just to mention Jeff’s brilliant new word!
"fuckbrainoligarchosis" is my favorite new word. I think it should be in the DSM-6 (psychiatric manual)
Yes, listed under “No treatment options available “…
I thought it was funny in its over the top skewering of smokers, Captain Hazelwood of Exxon Valdez infamy, and the hoax of global warming, according to conservative dumbasses
Waterworld sucked. Soybean Scott is the odds on favorite in "Upper Clas Twit of the Year, US Edition".
Yes! 👏👏👏👏
I dont think Mike Johnson is even Catholic.
He's a Southern Baptist, according to google, but it doesn't say anywhere where he actually goes to church on Sundays either inbDC or Louisiana.
Tiny Mike is a member of the NAR. This is just a quick search from Google but:
"Mike Johnson's Association with the New Apostolic Reformation
Acknowledgment of Influence
Mike Johnson, the Speaker of the House, has publicly acknowledged that the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) has had a "profound influence" on his life. This connection highlights his alignment with the movement's beliefs and goals.
Overview of the New Apostolic Reformation
The NAR is a controversial Christian movement that combines elements of Pentecostalism and evangelicalism. It advocates for a form of Christian dominionism, aiming to influence all aspects of society, including government, and seeks to weaken the separation of church and state.
Political Implications
Johnson's ties to the NAR are significant, especially considering the movement's involvement in political activities, including efforts to support Donald Trump's claims regarding the 2020 election. This connection raises concerns about the influence of religious extremism in American politics.
In summary, Mike Johnson is indeed associated with the New Apostolic Reformation, which plays a notable role in shaping his political views and actions.
Holy Smokes! A combination of Pentecostalism and Evangelicalism, it can't get any worse than that. Plus all the religion in the world won't help Holy Mike Limp Dick Johnson's proclivity towards the action on grindr, just sayin...
Yes, its clear their actions are coordinated and aimed at chirch/state rule
Stop posting about Hot Mayor Mamdani! I'm married for crying out loud. :P
Presidential Ass-Kiss Industrial Complex had me cackling.
On the subject of religious fuckery, did you see Kegstand Pete quoting Jules' monologue from Pulp Fiction at a prayer something? I just about died and so did much of the audience who knew it wasn't an actual Bible quote.
JustADick's tome about his conversion to Catholicism has a Methodist church on the cover. Kegseth thinks Jesus wrote the script for Pulp Fiction......
Not only should journalists claim the "What the fuck is wrong with you?" prize, but they should also adopt a query that we would apply to certain people, back in my youth on Long Island: "Does it hurt to be that stupid?"
I read the quote in an article and the journalist said he assumed Hegseth knew it was the correct quote. Yeah sure.
And Tarentino makes no secret of the inspiration for using nor that it’s made up except for the last two lines. Here’s a hint for the Christo-fascists: Ezekiel was making it clear that the right of vengeance is God’s alone.
Hot Mayor gives me impure thoughts.
Me too. Him and all his big ideas to do "actual good" for "real people" and "keeping campaign promises."
^^Gravy 🤣
Same. 😜
You ladies are feelin' Zohrandy
LOL
*snorts coffee*.
Dude. Your brain is beautiful.
Nah. Probably just a couple of pounds of neurons arranged in a gelatinous mass
I didn't see that. Do you have a link? Do you think Kegstand is hitting the bottle again?
Straight up vermouth
https://variety.com/2026/film/news/pete-hegseth-pulp-fiction-fake-bible-verse-prayer-service-1236723446/
Again? Did he ever stop?
He is hot too. Such a nice eye candy change from the fat, old MAGAs we are usually stuck looking at. Course it would be hard to out hot Rudy 🔥 🥵
Hey! Rudy was so hot his hair melted.
Well no wonder the rich were pooping their silk panties when Mamdani was elected. Tiny, tiny violins for alla you entitled jagoffs. Strait of Vermouth. I believe it's near the Sea of Gin and the Mount of Olives. You can't make this shit up.
Tuberville asks the question “What religion requires that you convert or be killed?” Has he ever heard of the Spanish Inquisition?
Probably one of Tuberville's heroes, Adolf Hitler, wouldn't even let my forerunners convert- he just killed them straight out. These trumpers have been rewriting history to make Nazis acceptable- so much more extreme even than 'convert or be killed.' Now that they are paying Geo and CoreCivic to build and run our very own concentration camps, they are even less likely to criticize the Nazis. But, as always, trumpers don't see irony.
They killed 1,000s for that very reason.
I have a comment for each stop on the Big Wheel of Moron. Scott Bessent: If the Earth's natural habitat is water, why can't we breathe in it? The Just War doctrine states that the only just war is a war of self defense when you've been attacked. Accordingly, Iran is the only one fighting a just war right now. Tommy Tubs: "What kind of religion says if you're not in our religion, we'll kill you?" Well, Tommy, at one time Christianity was that kind of religion. And I firmly believe that it would be again if they thought that they could get away with it.
The Christian Nationalists ARE KILLING WOMEN with their misogynistic laws allowing them to bleed out in hospital parking lots instead of giving them the medical care they need.
Well, you know God's will and all.
Tommy got dropped on the head too many times. Given that the base never does actual research on anything and just takes whatever junk is put out there as gospel truth, they'll just bob their heads in agreement or hide in fear. There's a substantial Muslim population near me in Chicago. I work with Muslims. None of them are murderous blood thirsty people who want to kill Christians. My Dad was in the hospital for an open heart procedure some years ago and we were waiting while he was in surgery. There was a large Muslim family waiting in the same area while their loved one was in surgery. They had brought tons of food for their wait. They went out of their way to share with us and were very kind. That's been my experience across the board. Kind and generous. Family oriented.
Pissant doesn't seem to be aware that he is a land-dwelling mammal.
How about we call it the Trump Strait Jacket
I'm in favor of this change! 😂😂
America needs a comedy troupe to come up with the equivalent of Upper Class Twits.
Imagine a sketch featuring Bezos, Thiel, Musk and the Zuke—it practically writes itself!
Never get tired of that skit.
“Oh, poor Oliver! He’s run himself over! He’s dead, but he’s not necessarily out of the running…”
🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
I'd rather see them in the skit where people are hiding behind 'shrubbery' in a field, and when they stand up they get exploded:
"Mr. Musk cannot be seen. Stand up, Mr. Musk! BOOM!" "Mr. Bezos cannot be seen. Stand up, Mr. Bezos! (No one stands) STAND UP MR. BEZOS!....no, I don't want to. PLEASE STAND UP, MR. BEZOS!....oh...ok.....BOOM!"
"How Not to be Seen".😂😂😂😂
HA!
I'VE BEEN DOWN AT MAR-A-LAGO
To the tune of I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD
I've been down at Mar-a-Lago
Stroking myself off
I've been down at Mar-a-Lago
Turn my head and cough.
Can't you hear old Stormy blowing?
Laughin' at my mushroom penis, OW!
Can't you hear old Stormy laughing
"Look at that dwarfdick now!"
Stormy won't ya blow?
Stormy won't ya blow?
Stormy won't ya blow my mushroom dick?
"I ain't goin' near,
I ain't goin' near
I ain't goin' near, you're sick!"
Lunacy is dancing in my head now
Dancin' at all hours of the niiiiiggghhhhhht
I gotta post me some bullshit
'Cause I'm broken down and filled with fright!
If you like what you see, please subscribe to my Substack! You'll get a daily dose of this stuff. We all need a bit of levity, don't we?
Hahaha!
Soon to be a Broadway song hit! love it!
Calling Randy Rainbow
I wish!!!
😂😂😂👏👏👏👏
Thanks, Charles!
I wonder, at any given time, what percentage of Trump's cabinet is drunk or high?
A sizable proportion. Evil and stupid? All of 'em
I'm afraid to even know. 😳
Rule #1 of governing: Do not quote the Bible and other religious texts to justify your actions.
Rule #2: If caught quoting scripture, immediately read the actual text to the cameras.
Rule #3: If your quoted text is wrong, resign immediately.
What I love about Mamdani’s pied -a- tierre tax is that some very wealthy people deny NYC residency in order to avoid paying city taxes.
Pick a lane, oligarchs.
I cannot imagine having a multi million dollar home and not living in it.
Elon Musk’s net worth increases between $20 and $29 million a day.
Bill Gates, almost $11 million. In 2023 Mark Zuckerberg made about $9.6 Million Per Hour Or $230.6 Million Per Day.
F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote “the rich are different from you and me.” I would suggest they taste better.
Oligarch omelettes?
Nom nom nom
Welcome to oligarch world rlritt
Tedious Spellchecker Sez: pied-a-terre (no "i" in the last word, but the stray "i" seems to be sneaking up on everybody here). Sorry all, decades later I'm still trying to avenge my loss in the National Spelling Bee after giving them "illicit" when they were looking for "elicit." 🤣🤣🤣
Fellow spelling nerd here! 8th-grade San Diego County Spelling Bee finals...mispelled a word I know from nervous vibes: adjacent! I knew how to spell it! But you can't self-correct in that Bee, so I started with a-j and tried to go back to add the d, and the buzzer honked at me. Ugh. My math teacher hounded me in front of the class when we studied geometry.
Thank you, that’s what I thought but I mistakenly checked the quote because I didn’t trust myself.
You're welcome and thanks for humbling me, since I just realized I forgot the accent (pied-à-terre).
"it is a very well-settled matter of Christian theology, there’s something called the ‘just war’ doctrine."
Yes, it is, and it doesn't say what Holy Moses Johnson seems to think it says.
Most of what Holy Brother Johnson references doesn't mean what he thinks it says. Stunningly stupid, amoral, vicious bit of fermented plankton that he is.
Holy Brother: in the Bible, first edition, it sayeth: “And god came down and struck Republitard cretins off the face of his kingdom.”
Best bio of holy Mike!, Claudia.
He's a moron. Total ass kisser.
As much as we democracy loving liberals don't want to believe the depth of faith Trump's cultists have in his "who cares about democracy or an equitable melting pot society" ethos. America is all powerful therefore America can do whatever it wants, to whoever it wants, whenever it wants. Period. That's the Trump doctrine, pure and simple. Anything he says or does to promote American Dominance is AWESOME! (they firmly believe).
Hopefully, this is a small enough minority of Americans that we will win majority victories in the midterms. It will be a VERY noisy victory on both sides when we do.
Those 7-10 million Democrats who sat out the 2024 election to give us Trump had better show up in Nov.🙏
I wish Mamdami was my mayor.
I wish he was my president.
YASS!!