410 Comments
User's avatar
George A. Polisner's avatar

There is a lot of snow in Oregon. If more Californians could travel to Southern Oregon and jump up and down it would cause all of that Oregon snow melt water to flow into California and then we wouldn’t need Canada to turn on their big faucet.

Now, who asked the question about batteries and sharks?

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I'm nominating you to be Kamala's Secretary of Commerce

Bob Bowden's avatar

Jeff, you put out “This Week In Stupid” on Saturdays, but Orange Shitler & Co. have ramped it up several notches to the point where you can just slap this title on your post *every* day: THIS DAY IN STUPID

funnyhaha's avatar

"This fifteen minutes in stupid"

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Steve Bannon said, “Flood the zone with shit.” these guys have perpetual diarrhea and there is no Imodium in sight.

Bob Bowden's avatar

To top off THIS day in stupid, the Orange One might say: “A half point rate cut this close to the election? Not fair!! Whoever appointed the Fed Chairman should be shot!”

JENNIFER's avatar

Strap in dude ... its about to get lit. Expect more and more Bat Shit Crazy for the next several months.

Charles Austin's avatar

I second that nomination.

Marie Martin's avatar

George, I’d say you’re the best, but you can’t be the best because you know I’m the best. When I’m elected back to where I belong you’re going to be on my team, top notch gem of only the best, and I’ll send you up to Oregon and on your way up to stomp snow, you can stop by California and stomp on Gavin’s head because you know he doesn’t even know know how to turn on the big faucet so Californians are dying of thirst. Everywhere. Trust me. Reports everywhere of people dropping dead at hospitals. They fall over right at the front door of the hospital. People are begging me “Sir Sir Here’s more money so you can win the election Sir. We need you to turn on the water!!!!”

Kathleen Weber's avatar

And that's a fk'n, God damn absolutely true story. My deceased aunt called and told me she saw it herself. Then my uncle, dead since the 1950s tells me no one runs the sprinklers on his grave anymore. Maybe if they called JD Vance's office instead of me, he would alert the press to the sufferings of the American people!!!

un poco loco's avatar

so if they call you, they get the world's tiniest violin playing, "My Heart Cries For You"?

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Nope. I just smile and nod and say, “So great to hear from you! I'll let Florence know you called!”

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Oh, great flashback, well done sir!

kdsherpa's avatar

"and stomp on Gavin’s head" -- and the weirdest thing of all? I can actually HEAR him saying that.

Marie Martin's avatar

I know. It’s getting into our dna. Ugh.

Cat Cafe's avatar

I was thinking we could drive up there in our electric cars, if our electric cords would reach that far, and then electrocute the snow so it would melt and flow down.

George A. Polisner's avatar

And now we’ve found the new Administrator of NASA! Congratulations Cat. 🪐🚀

Cat Cafe's avatar

Thank you, thank you, so proud.

Robert Eckert's avatar

But then the water will fill up with sharks!

Cat Cafe's avatar

Not to worry, they'll be electrocuted when the snow is electrocuted.

Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL They think that might actually work. 😂

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

🤣😂🤣👏👏👏👏👏

Kristina Clarke's avatar

Tea➡️tablet➡️tissues

😂

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Oooooh, Bravo, George!! 🤣👏🏆

Teri's avatar

🏆 BRAVO! 😂😂

Hannah's avatar

You can be the Third Gentleman - in - Chief.

Christine's avatar

That is terrific. Thank for chuckle!!

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Sep 18, 2024
Comment deleted
George A. Polisner's avatar

If I can find my wrench around here somewhere, maybe we’ll have a big blue wave (the only way I can get confirmed by the Senate). 🤓🌊

Kay-El's avatar

I’m not in Canada, but I’m turning my bathroom faucet off and on just to fuck with people in California.

Lisa's avatar

Hey!! I’m in the shower in San Diego; knock it off!!!!

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Hahahahahahahahaha…damn, I was wondering why I was already dry!

SPW's avatar

Knock what off? That big wheel?

Kay-El's avatar

Ah, no. Nothing but love for California, but the joke was too difficult to resist.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Oh, it was a joke? And here I was thinking that the giant faucet was real.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

Dontcha know you always excuse a vicious lie with " Can't you take a joke ?"

Ala the Space Nazi.

Vickie Berry's avatar

Well the Space Nazi is about to get a visit from the Secret Service after is latest tweet about Kamala.

Kay-El's avatar

Just saw that! We all know that “joke” really wasn’t.

HI2thDoc's avatar

They should do a cavity search

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Ah yes, he's a perfect example of "Schrodinger's douchebag". A guy who says something horrible, then when called on it claims it was a "joke".

Narrator: "It was not in fact, a joke."

un poco loco's avatar

I would join you, but our water utility is SO BAD I'm not sure the trickle we get out of the faucet would make any difference at all...

Kristy Kanen's avatar

So weird, here in California, I only have to flush ONCE ! It's a MIRACLE.

Rick Calegari's avatar

So that's why everything was down to a trickle this morning in SoCal. Holy shit but still don't pass go and stop to collect $50 when taking grandpa rancidpants to the cracker farm.

Cathy Carrozza's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Will that work from Massachusetts?

Teri's avatar

Hey, my shower in n NorCal has no water! Pls, just a 3 min shower? I'll send up smoke signals when I 'm done. 🚿🚿

Kay-El's avatar

I’ll be generous and give you 10 minutes, including hot water!!

RV maxima's avatar

OMG, you all crack me up! I feel like I am in Jeff's laugh-thon conga dance party!

Anita Smibert's avatar

I live in Canada. I wouldn't want this to get around, but I'm gathering up a group of other retired hippies, and if Donald Trump wins, we're going to turn that big fucking tap off. We're not turning it on again until he's living in exile in Alaska. Or is it Afghanistan?

Charles Austin's avatar

Kiska in the Allutians. He can hang out with the 100 year old Japanese soldier that won't surrender.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Freezing his kishkes in Kiska?

Kristy Kanen's avatar

He's looking to deport the Inuit people, they're wasting all that ice , which is actually water, " from the standpoint of water ".

Mary Hall's avatar

I'm a retired hippie chick. If Done Old Trump wins, can I come live with you? I am a great cook.

Mike Hammer's avatar

I’ll bring my lungs.

Lisa59's avatar

My plants are budding right now. When I mow the lawn (I live in the country surrounded by corn) you can get high. I've got enough for all of us!!

Teri's avatar

Can I come too Anita? I have edibles. Lots of edibles.

Lisa59's avatar

I am making a batch right now. I love my Magic Butter Machine. It makes tincture in 8 hours.

Anita Smibert's avatar

There's a store right close by. It's legal here so no need to BYOW.

Cats 🐈🐈‍⬛'s avatar

I would like to come too. I would need to bring my husband along. I can bake and he can mow the lawn. Oh, I have 4 cats, possibly 5. 🐈‍⬛🐈🐈‍⬛🐈🐈‍⬛

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Sep 18, 2024
Comment deleted
Donatella  Dillon's avatar

I’ll bring myself, I’m a trainer yoga TaiChi instructor and can do massages I can be useful 😛🤗

Anita Smibert's avatar

You can get a part time job down the street from me.

Anita Smibert's avatar

We might be in the same boat next year. Our version is younger and looks like Peewee Herman.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

Me too ! But I'm not a vegetarian anymore.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Anybody sign up to bring the tie-dye yet?

David Simpson's avatar

You can see it from Canada! (Or is it Alaska... Or Afghanistan)... Hmmmm.

Teri's avatar

Still wondering if CIA has 👀👀 in Turd's plane & Ivana's gravesite. 24/7, 365.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Alaska? Afghanistan? Are you kidding? Putie has nice dacha in Russia waiting for good friend Donald.

Sooz Hall's avatar

It’s several stories high, and has a lovely rooftop garden, glassed in of course. The windows open up on warm days; one might stand right at the edge to smell the lovely fresh breeze …

Kristy Kanen's avatar

I hear defenestration isn't so bad. 🥴

Charles Austin's avatar

With open window on 6th story.😂😂

Teri's avatar

These two "alleged incidents". 🙏 to the family of the man killed in PA & those injured. I have wondered if his BFF Putie is displeased, and is warning turd. No doubt Putie wouldn't fail if he was all in, but maybe Turd's missing up to the wrong dictator, one Putie doesn't like.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Yes, complete with its own supply of "uncle Vladimir's special blend of Polonium tea."

SPW's avatar

Any luck it has a third or fourth floor plate glass window?

Becky Gibson's avatar

I live in Michigan, and I hope Grandpa Befuddlepants doesn’t get any ideas about our Great Lakes!!! Knowing him, he probably thinks the Soo Locks can be opened so that all that water can be funneled to whoever needs it. Nothing doing, Junior. 💦💧🌊

J.R.'s avatar

Its a great idea on paper; but, Trump despises California and would lose zero sleep if the entire state and woke libtards and childless women and Marxist Hollywood types died of starvation or thirst or whatever. So, hold on to your faucet and live well, my friend!

Teri's avatar

AND WE DESPISE HIM.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

All sane people do. I loved living in SoCal.

Anita Smibert's avatar

Which gives them all the more incentive to chase him out. Maybe you could go with him and be another MAGA caddy.

kdsherpa's avatar

Afghanistan sounds good to me. He invited the Taliban leaders to Camp David. I expect that they will reciprocate his warm invitation.

Chris Ortolano's avatar

The press is, as usual, ignoring the dotards ramblings, but when Harris gives an interview to the NABJ Politico says this:

"Harris refuses to veer off script in her second high-profile interview."

https://www.politico.com/news/2024/09/17/kamala-harris-interview-nabj-00179695

If she was a male candidate, they would have said he was "focused" and "disciplined."

The press can, once again, fuck all the way off!

Sam Maruca's avatar

Barely concealed misogyny, which could well tip the election (as I am convinced it did in 2016).

SuNew's avatar

That was before Dobbs. Rage may very well trump misogyny. (Pun intended)

Sam Maruca's avatar

From your lips to God's ear. I still think there are a lot of men who can't imagine a woman president - even though otherwise sane and thoughtful.

Chris Ortolano's avatar

Perhaps, but women outnumber male voters. This is not 2016.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

So, obviously, Justa Dick & Shitzinpantz

have to alienate more than 50 % of the population.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

There was a protest about the Times sanewashing at their building.

Chet Brandt's avatar

The protest received widespread coverage on the local NY/NJ news channels.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Excellent, may it continue.

David A Pitock's avatar

With faux it was Kamala says nothing new.

Eric Smith's avatar

DonOLD spews his usual nonsense. No way for the legacy media to “sane wash” it. Heard an apropos phrase to describe it as “Hate gravy”. He ladles it out at every opportunity.

Susan Niemann's avatar

"Hate Gravy". Thats an excellent descriptor. 💙💙

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yet his idiot cult followers swallow all his word salad and hate gravy with nary a thought, apparently, that this guy is off his rocker and should not be the most powerful man on the planet.

Jane John Jones's avatar

If they think his rambling stream of UNconsciousness makes sense it explains a lot about why they support him. I remember reading about how some people don't have an inner monologue going on (most do) and both types couldn't believe that the other wasn't like them. I'm starting to think that there are a lot of people who think in completely jumbled up, word salad so TFG makes sense to them. Or maybe they're just hateful racist, grievance-ridden assholes.

Joanne Filipo's avatar

I go with hateful racist, grievance-ridden assholes.

bruce somers's avatar

Me too,simple as that,MAGAs are just the KKK revisited.

Joanne Filipo's avatar

Exactly, but the thing that terrifies me is that now they’ve backed by billionaires!

DR Darke's avatar

It can be two things.

FTrump And FPutin Too's avatar

That inner monologue for Some People aka MAGA, KKK, etc., is filtered and fed by incoming fear-based dialogue via Fox, OAN, Newsmax, etc., and stirred up by their Evangelical pastors. That fear is then processed and churned out into hate, devoid of empathy, compassion, diversity, equality and inclusion; and manifested into pathological lies and fear mongering. It’s a full circle baptism by fear. No higher level of consciousness is needed, in fact, it is spurned. They are primed to easily swallow the fear from the shark-clock-batteries-boat scenarios, and fully become one with the all encompassing Q-Maga Mind. Yes it is a different mind than ours.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

He doesn't ladle it out— he spills it, smears it with his elbow, throws it at the wall (alongside the ketchup), attempts to drown Eric in it, etc.

funnyhaha's avatar

Well, you can't really blame him for that last part.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

It’s actually oleaginous sewage regurgitation, only to be addressed in a hazmat suit!

Eric Smith's avatar

The phrase “Hate gravy” was from a great creator to follow on T/T named Wiseacre. He is fun and has some pithy snark. Worth it to check out his videos. Wanted to provide proper attribution. Peace y’all.

Mary Hall's avatar

Wiseacre is awesome. I learned about him from my other favorite T/T creator, a trial attorney who goes by the name "Hawkeye Whackamole."

Eric Smith's avatar

The Hawk is great, so is LegalDad.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Here in rural Missouri, we need someone to turn the giant faucet on. JFC. 🤦‍♀️ "Schmuckabee" 😂😂 God, how I despise these horrid people. The first thing I hope Harris/Walz will do is beef up the Department of Education cause god knows America needs to smarten up.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

And Sarah slammed Kamala for not having bio children. SAD SARAH says having your own children makes you humble. In her case it didn't humbe her, apparently it made her a lying fool.

M.T. Kelly's avatar

She is utterly soulless, you can tell by the dead eyes.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I believe she and her siblings are abused children, the dad was quick to help out the Duggars to whitewash Josh's pedophilia, by introducing him to a child molesting State Trooper to counsel him (on how not to get caught, evidently) Now they are both in jail. And Daddy Huck just happened to know this guys hobby...

Hannah's avatar

Disgusting. Pedos are the lowest from of life.

Teri's avatar

Her proud Day 1 first thing was to eliminate all references to "Latinx". She also pushed thru children age 13+ to work in notoriously dangerous jobs in meatpacking plants. Child Labor.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I don't understand why this does not violate federal child labor laws.

Teri's avatar

I know zip about federal child labor laws. Could these children of 13+ be here illegally?

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

They were hiring children that were legal immigrants, just poor, to work in dangerous slaughterhouse jobs. The companies blamed it on the recruiters that hired for them. They got exposed when children got injured. Instead of making them stop that practice they are legalizing it.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I am disturbed that she passed her DNA on. Ugh, eww, oh shit.

Rick Calegari's avatar

That's going to take quite a bit of doin' especially if they're asked to read books.

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Sep 18, 2024
Comment deleted
P123Sunny's avatar

Why don’t DEMs make a big huge list (on poster board) - of every R in the Capitol who has used IVF? I really don’t understand it… help me understand….

Let me sum up's avatar

Katie Porter's gonna need a bigger white board for that.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Medical privacy? Unless they go around advertising the fact.

P123Sunny's avatar

Oh true - I just meant most ppl are very happy with it / results. Only ppl who have been public with the info (tho I believe it was only Rs up for re-election that blocked it).

I’m so so tired

P. J. Schuster's avatar

No, every single Republican voted No except 2 females; Susan Collins & Lisa Murkowski. JD Vance was absent for that vote.

P123Sunny's avatar

But it’s a human issue. Are they pretending they never needed it / don’t approve?

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Just ‘splaining here. Many pro-lifers reject IVF. The reason is that multiple embryos are created and only a few are implanted. Sometimes after three embryos are implanted there is a selective abortion to reduce the number of growing embryos to one. This means that human embryos are discarded at some point, and for many pro-lifers that means that human beings get killed as a result of IVF.

The only woman who had all the embryos implanted was the Octamom. You may remember a few years back a woman gave birth to eight children after IVF.

Teri's avatar

Thank you for that explanation. I was wondering how pro-lifers were against IVF.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Please do not use their advertising term, they are not "pro-life" they are "forced birthers" or "anti-abortion", That misnomer was a marketing term. Here is the origin.

https://www.printmag.com/political-design/the-semiotics-of-a-movement-how-pro-life-became-a-marketing-campaign/

Kristy Kanen's avatar

Plants are alive , so . . .

P123Sunny's avatar

Walz and his wife had their kids that way. He speaks to it well.

Mark Carlson's avatar

That guy hiding in the bushes with a gun...in Florida, that is your God-given right! He never fired a shot. The gun freedom laws that Ron DeSatan and his never-too-many-guns cronies passed should allow this registered Republican to get out of jail free, right?

Kristy Kanen's avatar

SS could have shot a passer by ! They didn't know who else might be beyond that shrubbery.

Tess's avatar

You summed it up with he’s a “ low-wattage imbecile who doesn’t know shit about shit!”. Well said!

Bonnie Council's avatar

Since he's never been outside anywhere, ever, except to board a plane or play golf, how on earth could he understand the impossibility of a giant faucet being turned on to send water into CA or forest floors that need to be swept. The man is an idiot. Period.

Stephen Brady's avatar

I wonder if he could find Canada and California on a map? His supporters?

Jon Notabot's avatar

Every single day I am thankful we have this particular forum keeping us tethered to our now endangered sanity. Jeff's work truly prevents our caving in to an acceptance of the absolutely unacceptable reality of this totally unreal time. Fuck yeah, thank you Jeff! Thank you everyone who reads and participates!

Joanne Filipo's avatar

My daily dose of humor and sanity.

Mark Slattery's avatar

Somebody turned off the faucet that sends blood to trump's brain.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

That would be KFC and McDonalds

Mary Hall's avatar

Cholesterol may be democracy's only hope.

Tess's avatar

probably the worms….

Mike Hammer's avatar

His mind is fried and JD will quickly ascend to the Oval Office with a little help from his friends. If he gets elected.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Oh, please. America and the world cannot take a Vance presidency.

Mike Hammer's avatar

That’s actually kinda the plan.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Agree. It's clear that at the rate tRump's brain is disintegrating, he wonl't last too long. And the MSM does not say anything about it.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Once he “dictators” himself out from under his legal woes with SCOTUS help and pardons from JD he’ll make for the door.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

I've heard this too. IF Trump is elected they will 25th amendment him and Vance will take over. The only thing I can think of why they wouldn't is that they are frightened little cowards and will not take the chance of losing the "Trump Base" cuz they won't win another election without them. IDK but I am hoping someone close to Trump whispers this plan in his ear and his paranoid ass turns on Just Dumb Vance.

Robert Eckert's avatar

I don't think they're planning on having any more elections.

Marie Martin's avatar

That’s a real risk I believe. He’s dumb as fuck too. But a different kind of dumb that could be worse than the orange guy.

HI2thDoc's avatar

He has elitist credentials like Yale Law and Silicon Valley venture capital work but yes, he says so much idiotic shit. I’m not sure if it’s a cognitive issue or that his character is so damned shitty that it overwhelms his intellect

Monnina's avatar

It is that he has no social consciousness. Just like Trump he is not a politician but an ambitious careerist. Unlike Trump he possesses no huckster skills.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

NEVER CONFUSE EDUCATION WITH INTELLIGENCE

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Peter Thiel literally hired him for three different jobs, that he washed out of first, then gave him money to be a vulture capitalist, to make him look successful enough to campaign.

P. J. Schuster's avatar

That is JD’s entire credentials, Peter Thiel has literally propped up this cardboard cutout of a human, & then bought it a Senate seat.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Yes, he was a failure at everything, except for his book and getting into an Ivy league college. That’s why I’m pretty sure the “Tiger mom” ghost-wrote it for him and used her connections to promote it.

Teri's avatar

That's why we MUST win the HOUSE! Majority leader is #3 after VP.

DA's avatar

I can’t even imagine anyone worse than tfg!

Alison Parker's avatar

"Oh yeah, I totally have a giant faucet, but like, it lives in Canada, so like, you've never met it. But it's super hot, trust me."

HI2thDoc's avatar

Huckabee is always auditioning for the title of America's Best Fake Christian with her low blows. She definitely has my vote

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The Hog Caller Governor of the Ozarks is so humbled by motherhood she signed a state law allowing children -- from the poorest of poor families -- to work for minimum wage in dangerous meat packing plants there.

Zija Pulp's avatar

This might be the best epithet for SHS: Hog Caller Governor of the Ozarks! Chef’s kiss!

DA's avatar

She is beyond despicable!

Jane John Jones's avatar

You know...this kind of talk about childless women is not only fucked up and offensive - it's straight out of a "Goody Procter" handbook. "Burn her! Her barren womb cannot support the seed of man! Or even worse - she CHOOSES to turn her back on God by refusing to be fruitful and multiply! She's a Witch!!!!""

Nancy Potter's avatar

Meanwhile, the maternal mortality rate in Arkansas is worse than in El Salvador. Maybe if she insists women breed, she make it less dangerous to do so?

Kristy Kanen's avatar

I prefer to be called CHILD FREE.

Teri's avatar

Today at the grocery store I saw my first Harris/Walz bumper sticker. I always notice dog/cat bumper sticker s/decals. It's very likely in this deep red area to get a slashed tire, or broken windshield.Today I also saw a large outline of a cat, the back view, but with whiskers where the face would be!! I thought IMG, this is a new time cat sticker -- a cat lady for Harris??!!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Child free is not insulting and condescending enough for Holy Sarah

Kristy Kanen's avatar

And LOW BROW , there's some Neanderthal genes in her.

Dave Drell's avatar

How the hell did she go from Press Secretary for Heir Drumpf to Guv?

Her father pave the way?

Kathleen Weber's avatar

🥇🥇🥇Don't miss Michael de Adder cartoons!🥇🥇🥇

The 12 worst things from the Trump Presidency

https://deadder.substack.com/p/the-12-worst-things-from-the-trump

https://deadder.substack.com/p/thank-you-ncs

Dave Drell's avatar

ONLY 12?

more like 12 HUNDRED!

Darrell Smith's avatar

Ms. Dogpatch (Governor of Arkansas) has as much brains as Trump so that is why she was there in Michigan. The Federal Government earmarked millions of dollars for Arkansas but she refused it. She'd rather take money from the poor in Arkansas and take her friends on a Paris France vacation.

Like most people in the real world, I am ready for this ride to be over. I am not retarded like Trump or Huckabee. They do not speak for me.

Dave Drell's avatar

Traveling awhile back i had to stay overnight in Little Rock Arkansas

There is no there, there