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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

to the person who emailed me with the suggestion that every post end with that Kegstand gif, this one's for you

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I commend you Jeff.

Here is our contribution.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/today-in-the-fucked-world-jane-goodall-i-love-you

Jane Goodall posthumously wished for Trump, Theil, Musk, and the others to be chunked into the void of deep space.

I final Fuck You.

I found it warming.

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SethTriggs's avatar

Jane Goodall was a badass.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

After her decades of groundbreaking work with chimpanzees, I am quite convinced that she found them to have better character than most humans. And singling out those who should be launched into space was awesome. The worst of the worst.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Truly, I agree with you.

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Jane's avatar

She was a wonderful compassionate person! The world needs more Jane Goodall’s ! ❤️

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J.R.'s avatar

She was so honest. I loved that interview.

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John Hampton's avatar

I thought I loved Jane Goodall before I read her "yeet the f*ckers into space" quote, but now I adore her as well.

Rest in Power, dear Doctor Goodall. The world is a poorer place without you.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Indeed. Her best observations, from a ways back, drew parallels between the bad leadership of a chimp troop and a human troop. Both are very prone to end badly. The only real difference is the degree to which the oppressed go to exact their retribution on the bad leader. Humans don't *usually* eviscerate and tear apart limbs and genitals in their rage, over days. There are probably exceptions, of course.

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John Hampton's avatar

We could learn a great deal from our cousins, the chimpanzees. Especially in dealing with bad leadership, :D

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Joyce's avatar

Wellllll.....there was Mussolini..................................

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George in Atlanta's avatar

...and Ghaddafi.

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AuntTeeFa's avatar

Words to live by

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Anna Trombley's avatar

Yes! Kick them off the planet!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

In one of muck's spaceships!

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Tracy S's avatar

Yes! Heartwarming with great advice and practical.

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Jan Moon's avatar

Yes! Thank you, Jeff. I have seen it so many times I've lost count. Every time I see again it is like the first time and I laugh myself silly. Again. I LOVE slapstick. Especially when it's Kegbreath's stick getting slapped.

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Bonnie Council's avatar

I'm hoping it was hard enough to render him sterile. The world will be better off.

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LINDA ADAMS's avatar

Unfortunately he has already reproduced.

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Bonnie Council's avatar

True, but we don't need any more of them, whatever they are.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

At his next batshit bloviating to the military brass: "Real warriors wear cups. . ."

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Grace Kennedy's avatar

Clownstick McDaydrunk🤣🤣🤣.

I think T meant Satays or as we know them PB McChickensticks.

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Cheryl Seybert's avatar

😂😂😂

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Plums's avatar

I can watch it 50 times and still be laughing on the 51 time. Doesn’t get old, especially after seeing that insane speech he gave in front of our generals. 🤦‍♀️

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Debbie  Mitchell's avatar

It warms the chuckles of my heart. So please more🤣

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Cheryl Seybert's avatar

Please Uncle Jeff??

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Linda Weide's avatar

I read in the Chicago Sun Times today that Trump is sending National Guard from Texas to Illinois, and also taking National Guard from Illinois. I don't know why Illinois doesn't have a lawsuit against this.

Ruth Ben Ghiat told us yesterday in her weekly Zoom talk that ICE has extraordinary powers more than other enforcement divisions, and they can be viewed as secret police.

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CroneEver's avatar

They do.

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Susan Bauer's avatar

Was that a “sortay” jacket on our DUI guy?

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Michelle Marciniak's avatar

YES! I love this.

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Lorraine Morton's avatar

It was so satisfying… perfect ending

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

They keep getting dumber and more aggressively dangerous… but I’m guessing the “dumber” has more staying power. They peaked too early. And they are gonna crash and burn. I’m praying they don’t burn us all down in the process.

Keep laughing at them. All of them. Every fucking one of them. It makes them the most madder than anything.

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

They’re definitely going to crash and burn.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

It cant happen soon enough. Every day we ask each other, is he dead yet?

Pass the Xanax.😂

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Yarnartist's avatar

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and check my phone to see if he’s died while I was sleeping.

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Crystal Hartley's avatar

So it's not just me?

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

No, I don't have a cell phone, but it's my first question every morning.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

My 97 year old, law abiding, Korean War veteran mom does the same. Him and Musk, every morning.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

And no matter what time of the day or night, I’ve got a bottle of good champagne chilled and ready. 👏👏👏

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Jon Notabot's avatar

Hahaha

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Mirla G. Raz's avatar

The morning that I walk into the kitchen and see my husband smiling, I'll know that trumpedo has died.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I LOVE that 'trumpedo'. Fits SO well! We need to use it more.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Every time I get a BREAKING NEWS alert, my husband asks that.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I take comfort in knowing it WILL happen…just not soon enough. 😂

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Yeah....if only the good die young, he's going to live to be 198.

But I'm pretty sure he'll be an exception.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

We can hope...any minute now!

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CL Tee's avatar

I have no Xanax to spare. I've been rationing them. Sorry, Susan.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA! I completely understand!

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DR Darke's avatar

We just have to eradicate the Supreme Court of its Right Wing influence to be certain—let's start with the impeachment of Clarence Thomas, Sam Alito, Neil Gorsuch, Brent Kavanugh, and John Roberts (so we can replace him as Chief Justice with Bernie Sanders! 😈). Leave Amy Coney Barrett there so she can quake in fear at being the LONE Right Wing voice on the Supreme Court....

Yes, it's legal—"a Supreme Court justice can be impeached and removed from office. Like other federal 'civil officers,' justices can be removed for 'Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors'."

EDITED b/c I misspelt the name of a Right Wing Supreme Court Justice.... Oh, Myyyyy.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Impeach the shits !

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Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Even if it doesn't happen (always find a way to obstruct) it might keep the Supremes busy until we can get the majority in the House (and stop Mike J. from giving the Repubs eternal vacations)

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Crystal Hartley's avatar

"We're gonna need longer vacations."

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I love the Spoonerism some wag came up with for her: Bony Carrot

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DR Darke's avatar

You know what came to mind when I read that?

Boney M's "Rasputin"!

https://youtu.be/DrtgtHOrP94?si=xl2QwS55WYgKM8_I

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Jill Spriggs's avatar

I’m old enough to remember the “Impeach Earl Warren” bumper stickers.

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DR Darke's avatar

"I’m old enough to remember the “Impeach Earl Warren” bumper stickers."

Was that over The Warren Report, or him not rubberstamping Jim Crow?

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Jill Spriggs's avatar

Warren was chief justice at the time of Brown v. Board of Education, which didn’t endear him to the Confederate flag wavers, hence the bumper stickers.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

BTW, it's Coney Barrett

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DR Darke's avatar

Oops! Thanks for the correction.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

The MAGAverse is a confusing place, with Comey, Comer, Coney,. . .and full o' cronies.

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DR Darke's avatar

"The MAGAverse is a confusing place, with Comey, Comer, Coney,. . .and full o' cronies."

I'm sure there's a song in there someplace.

Where's Randy Rainbow when you need him?

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Joyce's avatar

And a coney is a rabbit....Extreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrabbit.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Alas, Neal, I've lost my ability to laugh. When I try, screams come out. 😱

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Kinda sorta same.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Paging Edvard Munch

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Mombeka's avatar

Oh they do hate the comedians! That’s become more and more obvious as the days go by. As the broligarchy buys up the media and cancels all the comedians we’re left with the one truly independent online publishing platform, SubStack. Shoutout to the guys who run this platform. Thanks guys.

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Bonnie Council's avatar

Indeed.

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

And the more they get laughed at, the madder they get, and the more they react with even more amped-up rage. They can’t stop now. I like to think that envelope they’re pushing is about to get torn to shreds.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I guess we shall see.

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Polly Sears's avatar

Any chance that T is acting crazy, so he can claim an insanity plea ?

I mean,he is delusional and weird, but, he is so out there now, it is incredulous that he hasn't been removed!

YIKES!

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DR Darke's avatar

"Any chance that T is acting crazy, so he can claim an insanity plea ?"

No, because to claim insanity would mean he's somehow defective, and not The Very Stable Genius he believes himself to be.

I'm sure Trump THINKS he's playing Sixth-Dimensional Chess and that he's beating Barack Obama like a gong (because Trump's obsessed with how Obama's respected and admired while he's a laughingstock!), while what he's really doing is (like a pigeon playing chess) knocking over all the pieces, shitting on the board, then strutting around like he won.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Nah. He is genuinely as dumb as he seems to be, as ignorant and incurious as he seems to be, as racist and greedy and hateful as he seems to be. As delusional as drugs can make him.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Yea, the fact that they are an inherently a bunch of bumblers without much ability may be our only protection. I just keep praying for their continued incompetence to thwart them in the end.

Although I am certain that we must suffer through even greater outrages before we get some relief, somehow

Perhaps the 2026 midterm elections, if he allows them.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

IF he's still around next year, which I very much doubt, I'm betting that THEY won't allow elections.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Our neighbors in Chicago were subjected to police violence, Dragged out of their beds in the middle of the night. Held in handcuffs for hours. On September 30.

One way to fight back against these lawless no warrant searches is through a civil suit for damages. About half of those targeted were American citizens, all of them black. What we need at this point is not ambulance chasing lawyers but ICE chasing lawyers. Having your front door bashed in and being held handcuffed for three hours should be worth at least $100,000 per citizen. All the kids involved should have college tuition funds waiting for them when they grow up. If I was a lawyer, I would be in Chicago signing up clients right now. Money and ongoing bad publicity are the only things that can stop this!

Paul, can you contact appropriate lawyers in Chicago? This needs to get going!

This will also give ongoing publicity to this horrific event as the case winds its way through court procedures.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Smart. I would think that law firms should be lined up around the block to take these cases. In part because I’m certain that many if not most of the persons committing these acts are independent contractors looking for bounty. And also because they are being directed illegally.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

The Department of Homeland Security claims that they are all federal law enforcement employees. But they're committing so many well-established Breaches of constitutional rights that I have run out of fingers!

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Joyce's avatar

No one can tell me that the so-called "federal law enforcement" and "ICE" thugs are anybody but January 6th rioters and traitors. Hence the masks, the lack of badges, and the violent responses to being asked to remove the masks or show the badges. They're the same people who beat the shit out of legitimate law enforcement, were convicted, and then freed from jail.

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Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Are there enough brave and honest lawyers left in this country to do the job?

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Sure. And this ought to be pretty simple. But they may need to hire bodyguards.

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Permian Extinction's avatar

God invented ACLU for a good reason.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Totally agree

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Declan's avatar

Class action???

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Excellent suggestion, Kathleen. Wondering if there could be a class action (everyone is from the same building), or if there's a civil equivalent of a hate crime bias? There would certainly seem to be grounds for it.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

"One way to fight back against these lawless no warrant searches is through a civil suit for damages." The better way would be to arrest them, interrogate them until we determine which of them committed which crimes, and then prosecute them.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Unless they confess, it's hard to prove beyond a reasonable doubt exactly who did what to whom.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Don't release any of them until they start talking. What? Are they going to complain that they're not getting their due-process rights?

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P123Sunny's avatar

“and please remember I wrote about Osama bin Laden exactly one year ago, one year before he blew up the World Trade Center.”

WHY ISN’T TAPPER ALL OVER THIS? ISNT PRESIDENTIAL COGNITIVE ABILITY HIS ‘AREÀ OF EXPERTISE? WHY ISNT DEM LEADERSHIP POINTING JAKE’S BLATANT ONESIDING OF THIS ISSUE OUT??? FVK

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Leu2500's avatar

Because Tapper is busy with his BY TEXT interview with Trump. What in the actual fvck!?

I’ve got news for Tapper. He could have been texting with my late cat, but it sure the hell wasn’t Trump on the other end of that phone/computer.

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P123Sunny's avatar

Well well ‘journalism ish’ is EVOLVING in real time… 🤢

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DR Darke's avatar

"WHY ISN’T TAPPER ALL OVER THIS? ISNT PRESIDENTIAL COGNITIVE ABILITY HIS ‘AREÀ OF EXPERTISE? WHY ISNT DEM LEADERSHIP POINTING JAKE’S BLATANT ONESIDING OF THIS ISSUE OUT??? FVK"

"Well well ‘journalism ish’ is EVOLVING in real time… 🤢"

Is Tapper's "journalism ish" like Stephen Colbert's "truthiness"? Which was least was a joke...?

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P123Sunny's avatar

Omg u r right…

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Joyce's avatar

I will check: it's distinctly possible that my Betta and four pygmy corydora catfish were texting Jake Crapper.

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P123Sunny's avatar

“…and history will never forget that it was the Seals who stormed the compound at Osama bin Laden, and put a bullet in his head.”

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

And history will never forget that it was under Obama that the Seals located and took out Bin Laden.

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Declan's avatar

Ya know a thing that STILL confounds me? The republicans were oddly SILENT after those days and NO ONE offered ANY congratulations to Obama....and to this day NOTHING. did they hate him THAT much???? (I know the answer).

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The GOP cretins were showing their racist and misogynistic streaks big time and wouldn't congratulate Obama or his female Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton. They were praying for Obama to fail every day of his administration.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Untethered and not just to the law.

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P123Sunny's avatar

‘Untethered’, ‘Bonkers’, ‘Misspoke’… so many gentle words (as they burn it all down)

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Cyndi's avatar

Absolutely fucking insane with a side of dementia!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The blathering wastrels lies of fustian and fantasy aren’t challenged, for fear of being sued… pointing his drug addled idiocy and demented speech is apparently our job Sunny!

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P123Sunny's avatar

*allegedly?!*

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

- Upton Sinclair

OR

- H. L. Mencken

OR

- William Jennings Bryan

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P123Sunny's avatar

In The Corporate States of America…. This is a problem - agree💯‼️

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Tex237's avatar

I’m trying to figure out how Trump could have told Pete Hegseth that Osama was a danger in 2000, when Pete was about 12 years old. Maybe Petey was one of Epstein’s girls.

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P123Sunny's avatar

🤬

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Ole Anderson's avatar

He meant that he told oily Pete the story last year. So that means it’s true, Tell ‘em, Pete.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Ole, are you sure? Did he even know PS in 2024?

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Last week, then. Idk

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

When I’m feeling overwhelmed with all the bad news, I love reading your newsletters, Jeff.

I also stumbled across this quote from Mahatma Gandhi:

“When I despair, I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been murderers and tyrants, and for a time they can seem invincible. But in the end they always fall. Think of it - always.”

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I needed that quote. Thank you. Because I've been having some "pit in my stomach" days and can't shake the dread. UGH.

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Songgirl Kim's avatar

I’ll share my Xanax with you 😉

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

every single day. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Hang in there. They Want us to give up and stop paying attention.

You can do it!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"slapped him with a writ of go fuck yourself." 👏👏👏👏

Christ, why cant we be more like South Korea or Brazil and stop this crap once and for all...

The one thing that continues to bring me joy is your gif of Plastered Pete. Thank you for that! 😂

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

It’s kind of a Catch-22: If our country were more like S. Korea or Brazil, we wouldn’t be the USA. Or the way we were like the USA. Now I’ve got Barbra Streisand in my head.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Susan, That was an instant classic ! ‘Slapped him with a writ of Go Fuck Yourself!’ Wonderful !

I too also marvel at our inability to do what S. Korea and Brazil accomplished in short order. We have grown weak. And our youth are hopelessly uneducated about History so they have no basis to compare these dangerous times to.

It’s ultimately going to take 20 Million or more in the streets and marching on the White House in numbers they cannot suppress!

Are there enough of us ? I’m not sure. Lots of armchair computer commandos but how many will put feet on the street?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Truth. SK and Brazil got it done. I'll be out on the 18th. I hope this will be the biggest protest yet. And I just dont believe the US Army is going to shoot US citizens.

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P123Sunny's avatar

« This is so blatantly unfair. what’s even the point of getting to hand-pick your own judges if they’re going to actually follow the Constitution? »

- 😏🇺🇸

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

"I appointed the judge and he goes like that, so I wasn’t served well ...." King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette had the same grievance.

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Bonnie Council's avatar

So basically the judges he appoints are only supposed to do what he orders them to do. Gosh, wonder how SHE got that wrong.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

To quote someone we know well, BOO-fucking-HOO !!!

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P123Sunny's avatar

Haha yes

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Declan's avatar

IMPORTANT!!! I learned....ya know why D hasn't been flooding courts with judges?? NONE ARE RETIRING! They are hanging on to save the republic. God bless them. But like one judge who had her South Carolina home burnt down expect radicals to target the judges.

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P123Sunny's avatar

In the 60s & 70’s iirc, the IRS had a TON of power… intimidating. Yet today, we do indeed ‘expect radicals to target the judges’. WOW how far we’ve fallen… where is the FBI? NO JUDGE should feel threatened in the USA… REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS AS THE NEW NORMAL!!!!

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Every sentence out of Orange Hitler’s anus mouth begins with “I”. That says it all.

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Butch's avatar

The "we're sorry, grampa, but give us the car keys" moment is long, long past due.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

And the scrotums on the SCOTUS rejected the appeal of President Pedophile’s teenage-arranger in chief. That had to piss off the entire Grind On Pedophiles! (GOP) band of antichrists.

Now put the evil incarnate piece of shit Jiz-lame back in a real prison for evil satanic sex offenders. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FUCKING ATTENTION IN THIS DEPLORABLE FUCKING MATTER YOU BAND OF DEPLORABLES.

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Leu2500's avatar

They are hiding Trump again today. So out of 6 days, he was in public on 1 occasion for a couple hours. Totally normal.

Guess he’s resting up (detoxing)? For the visit from Canada’s PM Tues.

Oh. & I just read that SCOTUS refused to hear Maxwell’s appeal. Release the #EpsteinFiles

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Monnina's avatar

Is this for real ? Arch criminal Trump bestie Ghislaine is actually being knocked back by SCOTUS ?

Can barely believe it.

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Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Why does any country's leader even give T the time of day at this moment in history? It must be for entertainment purposes only.

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Declan's avatar

Canada's PM....the guy with the PhD in economics???! Dean Blundell is gonna have a field day with 2morros meeting! Dean & Jeff are alike .....is D gonna get another economics lesson from the master ....and D is studying now???? D doesn't like him...you know why.

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Paula Dean's avatar

I'm at rock bottom with my ability to withstand any more from Donny Demento. I can't laugh at him anymore - even with your help, Jeff. I've been getting migraines every single day by noon, because I start my days by reading news and Substack. I stop reading when my eyeballs bleed, but I'm thinking I should spend my mornings doing something else - like hammering nails through my hands so I can't hold my tablet or phone.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Ever get that empty pit in your stomach when you start to feel like you might vomit? That's where I'm at when I get to the end of my rope. Damn. Make it stop.

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J Glaspie's avatar

I'm with you. It hurts--yet I keep going back, hoping to read good news.

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Declan's avatar

🙄😆😅🤣

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Veronica Speedwell's avatar

President Stephen Miller's unhinged (as usual) response to the latest TROs is off the charts. He's calling the ruling of a trump-appointed judge "insurrection" on social media.

They are desperately trying to stir up a civil war and martial law all rolled into one. And did anyone note that a South Carolina judge who ruled against the trump DoJ had her house blown up over the weekend? With people in it!

Miller needs to be straitjacketed and tied to a handcart like Hannibal Lector.

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Cyndi's avatar

I wish I could like this, but that whole situation terrifies me.

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Jon Notabot's avatar

This comment should go straight to the top. Seriously.

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Joyce's avatar

Every day, I wake up and check if Demento has expired; then I scan for happy news about Nosferatu Miller, Holy Brother Mike, and JustaDick.......Alas--no joy in Mudville yet. But--some day, and the champagne will flow in the streets and the red dancing shoes will be strapped on.

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Kay-El's avatar

Dear god, the smell of Portland burning…. Oh wait that’s my neighbor bbqing in my neck of the woods

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Leslie Goodman-Malamuth's avatar

Pre-TSA regs, my friends flying cross-country stopped in KC to buy gallons of the Arthur Bryant’s BBQ sauce recommended by Calvin Trillin. They teased me brutally for brushing Bryant’s elixir onto my grilled tofu.

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Kay-El's avatar

I’m not a huge tofu eater, but I would scarf that down in seconds.

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Michael Johnson's avatar

tRump is now completely incoherent, unable to communicate a cogent or rational thought. he's always been allergic to truth, but now he continues to just make shit up - every f'n time he speaks, about anything.

as you pointed out so brilliantly yesterday, Russ Vought and his heritage goons have been pulling the levers, destroying all our once vibrant & trusted institutions and services. all in concert with the oligarchs and tech bros draining the treasury, and the putin assets burning down what's left of our Democracy. tRump is their "useful idiot," their fall guy, so to speak. once he melts to the ground like the Wicked Witch, they'll just replace him with thiel's boy - "JD McCouchfuck" (one of your best). tRump's good for another 60 to 90 days max. He really is fading fast. My favorite nickname by far, Nosferatu McGoebbels, is also more than likely another useful tool. Evils as fuck, sure, and the heritage goons probably have a jizzfest with every child being routed into the street in zip ties in the middle of the night. Thinking he is also but another fall guy, as are most of this absurd Cabinet. All will quickly be let go the moment they become inconvenient. Seems the ultimate heritage goal is to return the country to Jim Crow, and even beyond. An all white, christo fascist fantasy, and they're working hard and fast to make that happen.

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Dave Devine (Cologne, Germany)'s avatar

I wish from the bottom of my heart I could disagree with you, but alas….

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

I think you're correct straight down the line, Michael. Nosferatu might think he's charge, but he's not. Likewise, Kegsbreath, Blondi, Gnome, et. al. Every one of them, just disposable placeholders.

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