elderly golfer admits he can’t do shit about lowering prices

congratulations, MAGA, you got taken for a ride

everyone in the MAGAverse is either a con artist — or a mark.

you’re either the million-dollar podcast bro, hawking expensive ‘dietary supplements’ — or you’re the bamboozled dope who’s gobbling them down.

you’re either the putative FBI Director, slapping your name on rancid wine and jacking the price a thousand percent — or you’re the credulous rube going shut up and take my money.

everyone in MAGAland is either lying about something — or believing the lies.

at the top of this fucked-up food chain is the Snake-Oil-Salesman-in-Chief, an aging homunculus in a cheap suit, spinning a too-good-to-be-true story about being the only guy who can solve all your problems, if you just buy this miracle elixir, and who — for the second confounding time — just hoodwinked his way into the United States presidency.

Little Donny Grifterpants — the guy who puts the con in convicted felon — was down at the New York Stock Exchange yesterday morning, to ring the big bell that signals the opening of the day’s session.

let’s listen in as this prevaricating shitbag bloviates about how he’s going to fix everything.

“oil and gas. there is no country in the world that has more. we are number one. I brought it to number one during my first term, in terms of production. we’re going to be number one plus. we’re going to do numbers that nobody will really see before, and when that happens, prices are going to start coming down. because people can’t afford their groceries, and they’re going to be affording their groceries very soon. I tell the story about a woman who — an old woman, old woman, no money — went to a grocery store, had three apples. she put them down on the counter, and she looked and she saw the price, and she said ‘will you excuse me’ and she walked one of the apples back to the refrigerator and came back to pay for the two apples, and she left with two apples, and the woman at the counter said ‘that was so sad,’ and when I heard about that story, I said ‘that should never happen in America.’”

oh boy, I can’t wait to start affording my groceries, can you?

but let’s set Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ mangled syntax aside, and focus on two things.

first, this pampered asshole has no idea how the world works. I’m sorry, apples being sold out of a refrigerator?

way to let us know you’ve never actually been inside a grocery store, pal.

but more importantly, notice the brag: when President Donny starts working his magic, “prices are going to start coming down.”

it’s a refrain we heard over and over during the campaign. prices are so high right now. eggs are a milliontyskillion dollars because there’s a big lever in the Oval Office that says ‘prices’ on it, and neither Sleepy Joe nor Kamabla will pull that lever, because they’re communist fascist marxists who hate America. vote for Donny, and I’ll pull that fucking lever so hard, they’ll be paying YOU to take the eggs. big strong farmers, tears in their eyes, saying ‘sir! sir! we have too many eggs. we can’t give them away, sir!’

check out Candidate Convict, the day before the election, yammering incoherently about how he’s going to lower the fuck out of your beautiful groceries.

“a vote for Trump means your groceries will be cheaper, so many people mention — I go in, so many people mention groceries — that beautiful but simple word groceries — ‘sir, my groceries’ — you don’t think of it that way, but that’s what they mention more than anything, my groceries.”

now let’s see what Donny says when the cameras are off.

this week, Donny sat down for an interview with Time Magazine. let’s see what Mister Lower Prices says when asked about his campaign promises.

Time: “If the prices of groceries don’t come down, will your presidency be a failure?”

Trump: “I don’t think so. Look, they got them up. I’d like to bring them down. It’s hard to bring things down once they’re up. You know, it’s very hard.”

I’m sorry, what? you’d like to bring prices down — but maybe you can’t because it’s too hard?

did you just not spend the last four years shit-talking the Biden economy and promising you could do better — but now that you’re elected, all of a sudden it’s too fucking hard?

awesome job, America. you elected the inept clown who went broke running casinos — because you believed his gaudy patter.

it’s not like there wasn’t ample evidence that Donny’s talk is worth nothing.

remember his first run for president? the big promise back then was all about how he was going to get rid of Obamacare and replace it with “something better.” it’s going to be great. you’ll see. once Donny became president, he kept promising that his “beautiful” healthcare plan was going to be ready in “two weeks.”

Donny repeated this same promise, over and over, month after month, until finally —

so sorry, folks — Donny couldn’t fix healthcare, because it was too hard.

and now, he’s not going to bring the price of groceries down, either — because it’s too hard.

we used to take snake oil salesmen and tar and feather the shit out of them, and run them out of town on a rail.

now, we elect them president.

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sorry for the short one today, folks. our daughter is coming to town for a holiday visit, and her flight arrives this morning. and as soon I click ‘send’ on this post, I’ll be driving out to the airport to pick her up.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.