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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

oh my god, the parking garage lawyer it still at it today. from about an hour ago:

https://twitter.com/eorden/status/1747638253639868575

VERY testy exchange between Habba and Judge Kaplan after Habba again asked for adjournment so Trump can attend funeral.

Kaplan: "The application is denied. I will hear no further argument on it."

Habba attempted to speak.

Kaplan: "None. Do you understand that word?

Sit down."

Habba: "I don't like to be spoken to that way, your honor." She continued to ask for an adjournment, at which point Kaplan cut her off again:

"It’s denied. Sit down."

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Lynn Stolp's avatar

"none, do you understand that word?" BAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I thought she was kidding when she said she'd rather be pretty because she can pretend to be smart...silly me!!

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

"I can pretend to be smart" is a Mobius strip of self-refutation. No one can pretend to be smart, because smart people will see through it. So only dumb people think they can pretend to be smart. But they can't! Because they're dumb!

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Burke's avatar

"Mobius strip" is apt. Well done! Trump told Alyssa Farah she could say anything and it doesn't matter. Just repeat it over and over and "they will believe it." Little Donnie's Mobius Strip of Lies, Con Games and Frauds.

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Susan Lorraine Knox's avatar

Could be a board game...

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

I just love rational trains of thought. You got my day off to a great start on my way to the dentist to fix a broken cap. I needed a reason to smile.

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Lorraine Parish's avatar

Dunning-Kruger to a tee

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Brings back memories of the self-proclaimed "stable genius" BS from the intellectually challenged tangerine turd. Anyone who continues to behave like an unstable demented moron as Trump portrayed on Jeff's video, is not fit for any anything but perhaps the cracker farm. That MAGA gibberish he was uttering shows us how bad his circuits have deteriorated.

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DR Darke's avatar

I know some people complain that the Dunning-Kruger Effect isn't really (or isn't just) "People who are so stupid they don't know they're stupid", so for them I propose a new term—"The Fredo Corleone Effect".

In THE GODFATHER, PART II (if you haven't seen the first two GODFATHER movies, see them—they're two of the greatest films of all time!), the middle child of the Corleone family Fredo (the late John Cazale), jealous and angry that he was passed over for elevation to head of the Corleone crime family in favor of his kid brother Michael (Al Pacino), lets himself be manipulated by Jewish Gangster Hyman Roth into betraying Michael. When Michael finally confronts him on it, Fredo screams at him that he and their father Vito always underestimated him:

https://youtu.be/rg8jODlrka0?si=Ef7zhs2ixaFIdHeG

The point is, we've SEEN Fredo enough during both movies to know that Michael and Vito were completely right to limit his involvement because he's easily-manipulated, a drunk, and somebody who falls to pieces in a crisis. Watching him in the above scene is pretty shocking since it shows just how unaware of what's going over his head on Fredo is.

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

I was tempted to end my post with "...and not smart, like people say." This (as I know you know) is a reference to Fredo's plaint, "...because I'm smart! And not dumb, like people say!"

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Krista Allen's avatar

"I don't like to spoken to that way, your honor." Yup, that oughtta do it. Sheesh.

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Openly Fae's avatar

Then...don't be a dipshit and he doesn't have to talk to you like a dipshit?

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Beautiful…..what a fucking shitshow this parking lot lawyer is and her moronic client. I feel for E Jean Carroll who has to be put through this process again and be victimized by this mango asshole again. Make ldff pay out his ass!

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Lisa's avatar

Reminds me of a shirt I had long ago, I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter!

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RV maxima's avatar

Oh, please Mary...

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Financial sanctions, contempt, jail time, disbarment. She is stupid beyond belief.

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RV maxima's avatar

Well, there's that.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

I love it! LIve updates!

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Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

You don't like to be spoken to that way?? Well boo fucking hoo, princess.

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Robert R's avatar

A friend of mine once gave the Judge some lip similar to that ,the Judge said Ok !we’ll see how you feel about this on Monday! He was sent to holding down in the cellar of the 150 year old building,until Monday,that was on Thursday and it was a holiday weekend!

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Catherine's avatar

I don't understand why that kind of thing isn't happening to them (both)

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kdsherpa's avatar

If only!

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Cathy Carrozza's avatar

That’s what Judge Kaplan should do to

Donny and Alina!! A little jail time would mean we don’t have to see their faces and hear their voices for a couple of days!! Peace for us!!

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Kay-El's avatar

She’s testing Judge Kaplan’s patience, and will get a fail on that test.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Today Trump is muttering loudly enough for the jury to hear, and all Judge Kaplan has done is ask him to keep it down. What the hell will it take for this asshole to be held in contempt and thrown in jail for a few days? Anyone else would have been put away for a nice spell. Is every judge terrified of him?

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Marty's avatar

I am waiting feverishly for the day a judge finally throws DJT in jail for his behavior in court. I'm not sure the judicial system understands the social consequences of letting him go on and on like he has. It impacts society in so many negative ways and is very hard, if not impossible, to undo. Right now, social scientists' voices are badly needed.

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Lou Rinaldi's avatar

Marty, I share your sentiment. Trump is laying waste to the credibility of our legal institutions, both civil and criminal, State and Federal, as he continues from one proceeding to the next to make a mockery of the judge, the court, the rules and the entire legal process. It's time to face the facts, the rules simply don't apply to Donald Trump, they never have and I'm becoming more convinced every day that they never will.

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Cathy Carrozza's avatar

There are times I feel like I am going to combust watching the courtroom antics of Trump and company. We all know that anyone else would be sitting in a cell for contempt of court!!! If I hear someone say one more time that we are all equal under the law I am going to scream and never stop!!

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Trumpenfuhrer’s presence in the courtroom is not necessary. This is just another one of his calculated attempts to intimidate the witness and possibly the jury. The Judge has already warned the wannabe dictator that she knows that he is grandstanding for all of his minions and that ldff is playing the victim as usual. Mango Maga moron wants to be thrown in jail. Personally, I would grant him that wish…..without the Secret Service and toilet paper!

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steve robertshaw's avatar

Yes to Trumpenfuhrer! We've GOT to start using this in all future references. The historical analogy to Hitler's rise and tactics is eerie.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

All very reminiscent of Hitler’s rise to power in the 1930’s. We all know how that scenario played out.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Someone on one of the many substacks I read said that comparing the orange sadist to shitler (which I've done since 2015) is an ego boost for the O.S. I get that. But with the people he has AROUND him, no question that he could be another fascist dictator. (Worth remembering that the O.S.'s favorite author -- probably the only book he's ever read -- is shitler's "Mein Kampf".)

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Chet Brandt's avatar

A quick clarification— the judge in the E Jean Carroll case is male. With so many cases with the mango wing nut I have my cases mixed up. In any case this judge will not tolerate any bullshit with the petulant child in his courtroom.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

The judicial system is having a very difficult time coming to grips with the reality of Trump's fascism and utter contempt for the rule of law. This country has never had to deal with anyone like him. The closest historical parallel may be Hitler commandeering his trial after the Beer Hall Putsch and being indulged by the court, and we all know how that turned out. This society had better figure out what to do about the feral hog and slap him in jail before he does any more damage.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

WHAT? OMG! 😳 She’s a special kind of stupid!

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Charlie Austin's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Too bad, duck lips.

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SeekingReason's avatar

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻The defender of rapist, deadly seditionist psychopath doesn’t like being spoken to that way! 🤦🏻

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Lou Rinaldi's avatar

I fail to understand why Kaplan didn't hold Habba in contempt of court?

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SeekingReason's avatar

Lou, I continue to ask this as well! What the hell is going on that no e of these judges are slapping these people with contempt? It does nothing for OUR confidence that our system can work anymore. The fact that the orange psychopath is able to blab and hold rallies is beyond outrageous! He is an existential threat!!

Every J6 participant should have received the full 20 year sentence not 5 months, not 10 years! Orange monster should have already been the grand champion recipient to the de@th penalty!

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Linda Weide's avatar

All I know is that I would like to see a jury come back with a figure that has at least 9 zeros behind it.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

SHE is telling the judge how she does and doesn’t want to be spoken to? She’s as delusional as her client.

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Lairbo's avatar

Habba has filed a motion to change her first name to, "Karen."

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Marty's avatar

Hmmm, I would have thought AssHole myself.

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

“Shoot that shit right into my veins”! 😝😝😝

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Jen NH of OH's avatar

I snorted water out my nose. Reminder to never read Jeff whilst drinking anything. This is just schadenfreude gold (the entire thing + Jeff's commentary).

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Susan Lorraine Knox's avatar

Maybe she thought he was calling her a nun.

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nkrempa's avatar

Given the whole batch of shit that Habba Dabba Doo got herself into today, I can hardly wait for your take on it tomorrow. Have a restful night with sweet dreams of the hilarity you can unleash! :D

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Right now, my hairdresser is laughing at me laughing at you. This is another GLORIOUS column! 😂😂😂. And please please please toss Roger in jail ASAP. They have the threat on tape for Gods sake. 🤦‍♀️

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

Oh, I’m sooooooo happy to read that they are looking into this POS! 🙏

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SeekingReason's avatar

FINALLY!

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un poco loco's avatar

You know, if he stays out of prison, Roger could make a career of being a Batman villain -- can't you just see him in a purple cutaway and top hat, carrying an umbrella that shoots poison gas? well, maybe the umbrella is overkill -- he could just open his mouth and breathe in the general direction of the good guys...

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Susan Niemann's avatar

If he can stay outta prison he can continue to enjoy his swinging lifestyle too. 🤢

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Eva Porter's avatar

There’s an episode of Greys Anatomy where a white supremacist with a swastika tattoo on his stomach needs emergency surgery. Dr A is Asian and a woman. Dude asks for her boss. Dr B is also a woman and Black. dude asks for HER boss. He’s a Black man...finally they say “oh, we know what doctor you want” and bring in the white male intern who also happens to be the least capable ...

So yeah whine about the diversity hires and walk to wherever you’re going.

Also in that episode they ended up “oopsing” his tattoo...

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Kay-El's avatar

Agent Orange blob is sounding more like a troglodyte with every speech he vomits. Oooga booga MAGA oooga.

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Eva Porter's avatar

But he speak their language, whatever that is

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Kay-El's avatar

Moronese

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Yes, that’s the official language of Magadonia.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Deb's avatar

Absolutely, Kay....and the idiot MAGA morons have the absolute nerve to keep obsessing about Biden's so-called mental problems. Do any of them ever really listen to Fuckface Donnie and HEAR what he says???...or is that too much to actually hope for...even now! The guy's brain has been dissolving and running out of his nose and dribbling down his chin for years, and it's getting worse and worse, and NO ONE...not MSM or the Nazis at FOX news, or his base seem to care.

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Kay-El's avatar

They don’t because he’s a useful idiot.

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

I love the fact that Kaplan pointed out that no one is stopping him from going to his mother in law's funeral (I have doubts about "beloved"). He doesn't have to be there, but with a jury...he can't stay away

If he didn't get attention, he'd wither and die

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Tess's avatar

Also----Habbadabbadingdong is more like a dive bar-barstool lawyer!

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Charlie Austin's avatar

That may be her future.

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Openly Fae's avatar

Pretty sure with those duck lips her future is stripper.

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Catherine's avatar

Lol, or "Only Fans"

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Openly Fae's avatar

Probably has one already.

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Karla's avatar

If she doesn’t lose her law license.

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un poco loco's avatar

Please -- she prefers "Mrs Trump".

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Nancy Neese's avatar

Habbadabbadingdong reminds me SO MUCH of Bellatrix Lestrange!

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

I think she looks like Melania. 😖

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Theresa Palmer's avatar

But he collects these lookalikes. So gross. They must feel like they need a bath after sitting so close to his staring eyes. Ewww.

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Theresa Palmer's avatar

I KNOW!!

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

OK, here we go. You are on the mike next at Jeff'shittykarryanOakie night. Gotta hear the whole tune.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

And now you're up next!

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Deb's avatar

Please please never let this charming ‘ sundowner’ video be lost. It should go directly to the Smithsonian. Wait, we may need a new building just to house

How Americans Lost Democracy While Adoring a Carpetbagging Dirt Bag.

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Lynn Stolp's avatar

Oh Jeff, you do have the very best words...today's post was chock full of them, my favorite being House fuckpuppets!!

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SeekingReason's avatar

Tiedrich is up there with George Carlin’s linguistic abilities & thoughts IMO.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

My most prized possesion is my entire George Carlin CD boxed set. All of his recordings, right on the top of my desk like an Iowan farmer's Bible.

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Marty's avatar

He sure is!!! We can't have George but we can have Jeff!

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

Hear hear!

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Tess's avatar

Definitely!😂😂😂😂

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

Do Trouser Trout have a limit, or are they catch and release?

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User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jan 17, 2024
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bluesyfish's avatar

Nancy, I might’ve snorted a bit over that one!

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

Fish and Game. Big fine there!

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SPW's avatar

🤣🤣🤣.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Tama2U's avatar

Yes on the Rudy Colludy example! The jury can only set judgement on the defamation right after the trial and first verdict, but they can certainly exponentially increase the $$$ amount based on current and ongoing defamation. Whoop! Sooo true about fangirl alina habbadabbadoo being so in over her head it’s beyond cringey. I mean, she has to sit next to #smellydonny...does that brown nose even work? Ewww I may be e one hundred millionth person to say this, but the only way to stop tffg and his gruesome little mafia group is to imprison them for their crimes. Like yesterday.

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SPW's avatar

It’s possible that being exposed to that odor is causing her brain to rot in real time. Hell, I’m no attorney but I’ve got more sense than to pull that kind of shit in court. How did she manage to pass the bar and why does she still have a license to practice?

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Tama2U's avatar

She will probably be disbarred after this shit show. Everything tffg touches dies.

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Carol's avatar

Jeff, I should never read your brilliant pieces while eating breakfast. “Trouser trout” nearly choked me!

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SPW's avatar

Same here. I’m from the mountains and thought I’d heard just about every kind of reference to the male member imaginable. Guess I was wrong but will gladly add this to my repertoire. Right now I’m thinking that tfg’s must be a fingerling.

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Margaret's avatar

You just won.

E. Jean can confirm the size of the "finger."

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Bob Bowden's avatar

It’s so small and ineffective, its attempt to penetrate gave a jury reasonable doubt as to whether it met the definition of rape.

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Carol's avatar

EEEWWW!🤮

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SPW's avatar

I love it. 🤣🤣🤣.

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Marty's avatar

Perhaps unhatched.

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Darrell Smith's avatar

In 1972 when I was 21 years old and got to vote the first time for McGovern, Roger Stone who is younger than I am was already a Dirty Trickster for Nixon. He has not seen the error of his ways but has written books on all kinds of whacko conspiracy crap as if it was the truth. There were a number of Republicans who asked Trump for pardons. The dingbats that tried to "Stop the Steal" on Jan 6 thought that Trump would pardon them. He is still making these empty promises. Who he did pardon were criminals like himself; murderers, swinders, embezzlers, and Roger Stone.

It would be nice to see all of the criminals that are working against the American government and people put away forever.

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Lorraine Parish's avatar

Frankly, I'd like to see them tied to a pole with gasoline-soaked piles of brush at their feet, and me with a lighter in hand saying, "Ok traitors this going to be very painful if you don't tell me why you hate our government and country. What the fuck happened to you, dropped on your head when you were a baby?"

Seriously, why are they doing this?

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Darrell Smith's avatar

People have been burned at the stake for saying that the Earth is a big round ball, for having a copy of the Bible, or being called a witch. These people of the past were innocent of any wrongdoing but Stone, Trump, Bannon, and all the others most definitely are guilty as charged. Trump has been called "The Most Hated Man on Earth".which should be good for something someday.

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Lorraine Parish's avatar

So, does this mean I can burn the shits at the stake? Sounds like a yes to me!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Lorraine, I want to be there when you do ... like, to hold your wine glass or something. 🤓

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Lorraine Parish's avatar

Or something? You mean something like a gun in case the lighter doesn’t light?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂 Or Robes. Or Sword. Or Machete. 👍

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

What’s so disgusting and terrifying is that when Racist Uncle Shitstain spewed his MAGA gobbledygook, his adoring fans probably cheered. God, if you’re out there, please relieve us of this abomination.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

Apparently he's a few centuries backed-up, the whole "pray to stop Hitler" file hasn't reached his inbox yet.

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Charlie Austin's avatar

🤣🤣

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Un. Fucking. Believable. Infinity.

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SPW's avatar

Not really when you consider the source(s).

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Jeff, thank you for your play by play updates on Habbabba. She appears to share the same low number of brain cells as the guy she’s trying to defend. Hope she keeps it up and the Judge slaps her with contempt of court.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Habadaba is going to end up working as a cashier at a parking garage if she's lucky.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Or MADAM at a bordello.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Too complicated for her.

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Tess's avatar

OK---now I almost threw up on House Puke Committee!!! hahahahahaha. Send all these idiots away!!!!

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