dumbfuckery on display: Trump trial, day two

Donald Trump has the right to remain silent — he just doesn't have the ability.

it was during the lunch break of the second day of Little Donny Fuckface’s civil fraud trial that Donny had a super awesome idea.

while his ace team of parking garage lawyers tucked into their meals, Donny — bored, restless, and boiling over with barely-stifled anger — took out his phone, logged onto his crappy app, and —

Trump took to his Truth Social media network to share a MAGA-aligned Twitter user’s post asking, “Why is Judge Engoron's Principal Law Clerk, Allison R. Greenfield, palling around with Chuck Schumer?” Trump also linked to her personal Instagram page.
Trump called her “Schumer's girlfriend”—Greenfield is not dating the senator—and complained that she “is running this case against me. How disgraceful!”

and because that wasn’t dumb enough, the stupid shit then sent the post out to the millions of people on his email list.

oh wait, did I say it was a super awesome idea? I meant to say that it was one of the stupidest fucking things Trump has ever done.

Judge Engoron exploded.

“Personal attacks on members of my court staff are unacceptable, inappropriate, and I will not tolerate them under any circumstances,” Engoron said.

Trump quickly deleted the post midday Tuesday. The judge explained that it only happened after he had personally ordered Trump to do so, a rare flex of power against the politician who has yet to face similar repercussions from other judges overseeing nearly half a dozen criminal cases across the eastern seaboard.

it turns out that Donny had already been warned not to pull any bullshit like this.

The judge then disclosed a conversation he had “off the record” with one of Trump’s defense lawyers in which he specifically warned about this.

and so Judge Engoron slapped Trump with a big fat gag order.

Judge Arthur Engoron issued a gag order on former President Donald Trump and his legal team on Tuesday as a result of a social media post featuring one of the judge's staffers.

The gag order limits posting or publicly speaking about any member of the judge's staff, he said during remarks on the second day of a trial that will determine if Trump is liable for fraud committed by the Trump Organization. Engoron added that there would be sanctions for not complying.

Donald Trump then went back to his incredibly tasteless gold-plated tower, and you can probably guess what happened next:

THAT’S RIGHT, HE FUCKING IGNORED THE GAG ORDER.

Tuesday evening, despite having already been given one gag order, Trump appeared to tear into the legal system and Attorney General Letitia James in a series of false claims.

After claiming James’ civil lawsuit against him was unconstitutional and election interference, Trump wrote the decision to apply that statute to him “was done by Radical Left Marxists design, and is not the America we know.”

and Trump still won’t shut the fuck up. here he is at the courthouse this morning, and holy shit, the voices in his head are screaming in perfect four-part adderall-fueled harmony.

“this trial is a disgrace. never happened, a thing like this has never happened before [unintelligible], I put in the financial statements a disclaimer, in other words, ‘don’t even bother reading them,’ to the banks. I borrowed money on … very under-leveraged … borrowed money on … ability, or something. [unintelligible] different things. I borrowed the money, I paid back the money in full, one hundred percent. there were no defaults, there were no letters of reprimand, the banks were extremely happy, in many cases I made the money back early. then I got sued years later, by this horrible attorney general, this woman that ran for governor and failed. she did this because she was running for governor, and then she ran and she failed, she had no polls and they forced her out. and she came back and she became attorney general again, and we got stuck with her.”

oh my god, this incoherent idiot actually thinks this gibberish is going to help him win his case.

that’s not how this works, Donald. that’s not how any of this works.

Donald Trump has the right to remain silent — he just doesn't have the ability.

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meanwhile, noted political strategist Kevin McCarthy lost his job as Speaker of the House yesterday.

good fucking riddance and boo fucking hoo.

after McCarthy broke his promise to shut down the government, Matt Gaetz and his extremist cohort no longer wanted any part of Kev — because they could no longer trust him to keep his word about anything.

Democrats could have saved McCarthy’s ass by voting no on the resolution to remove him, but after having been lied to by Kevin one too many times, they let him twist in the wind — because they could no longer trust him to keep his word about anything.

and so Kevin the Weasel went down in flames, and got his prized speaker’s gavel — the one thing he wanted more than anything in this world — torn right the fuck out of his duplicitous hands.

it’s almost as if there’s a lesson to be learned here somewhere.

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.