Donny’s policies suck, complains Donny in crazypants post
what in the actual fuck
watching Mad King Donny struggle to reason his way though an issue in real-time is like watching a monkey play with a hand grenade. you know it’s going to end horribly, but you can’t look away.
“Our great Farmers and people in the Hotel and Leisure business have been stating that our very aggressive policy on immigration is taking very good, long time workers away from them, with those jobs being almost impossible to replace. In many cases the Criminals allowed into our Country by the VERY Stupid Biden Open Borders Policy are applying for those jobs. This is not good. We must protect our Farmers, but get the CRIMINALS OUT OF THE USA. Changes are coming!”
holy shit, Taco Donny is tacodonnying his own draconian immigration policies.
anyone expecting logic or consistency — or even basic coherence — from Mad King Donny’s royal pronouncements is living in a dream world.
the Mad King has the impulse control of a horny dog and the attention span of a meth-tweaked squirrel. he’ll start out yammering one thing, and by the end of the sentence, he’ll have contradicted himself four times.
plus, the man is stark barking bonkers. he’s out there where the buses don’t run, lost and wandering in an ever-thickening haze of dementia and untreated tertiary syphilis.
sure enough, Donny starts out almost making sense — and then slides right the fuck off the rails. you can smell the smoke as the Mad King’s synapses strain to connect. deporting migrants … who do jobs … Americans won’t … BAD.
no shit, Sherlock. we’ve been screaming this at you for literal years: immigrants are good for the economy.
Immigration fuels the economy. When immigrants enter the labor force, they increase the productive capacity of the economy and raise GDP. Their incomes rise, but so do those of natives. It’s a phenomenon dubbed the “immigration surplus,” and while a small share of additional GDP accrues to natives — typically 0.2 to 0.4 percent — it still amounts to $36 to $72 billion per year.
that link, by the way, is from the George W. Bush Institute website.
fuck you, Donny, for making me agree with the Butcher of Iraq and Afghanistan.
some Big Ag CEO must have taken the Mad King aside and read him the riot act. or maybe he walked into one of his own ramshackle golf motels and demanded to know why the kitchen was empty.
anyway, Donny almost gets it — and then logic and reason go fuckity-bye. Donny can’t accept responsibility for the consequences of his own actions, so his own deteriorating brain shits its bed.
it’s Joe Biden. no, it’s the criminals. no — it’s both.
that’s it! the reason we have to deport so many fruit-pickers and busboys is because criminals are applying for those jobs!
you have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m sorry, but no. criminals aren’t applying for menial jobs in low-paying sectors. that’s not how being a criminal works. if criminals are applying for any jobs at all, it’s to work in the Mad King’s royal court.
so, is Donny’s latest royal pronouncement going to result in fewer ICE raids on private places of business?
fuck no, nothing will change. Taco Donny is going to tacodonny himself right back out of his newfound respect for farm and hotel workers. Nosferatu McGoebbels is probably in the Oval Office right this very minute, working his vampire mind tricks on Donny.
when I snap my fingers, you will go back to hating all brown people…
now let’s gaze in awe as Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants fails to grasp basic post-war world history.
“Macron was a good man. I said ‘what are you doing?’ he goes, uh, ‘we’re celebrating World War Two, our victory.’ I said ‘your victory? heh, your victory. tell me about that.’ and then I called somebody else, and I happened to speak to President Putin at the time. now, in all fairness to him, he lost 51 million people, and he did fight. Russia fought. sort of interesting, isn’t it? he fought with us at World War Two, and everybody hates him. and Germany and Japan, they’re fine, you know? someday, somebody will explain that, but I like Germany and Japan, too. but Putin is a little confused by that, you know? he said ‘we lost 51 million people and we were your ally and now everybody hates Russia, and they love Germany and Japan.’ I said ‘let’s explain that some time, ok?’ it’s a, uh, it’s a strange world.”
oh look, it’s just a couple of despot besties yapping on the phone, commiserating about why nobody likes them.
it is indeed a strange world, when you have a childs’s understanding of it — and our Toddler-in-Chief just can’t fathom why the Soviet Union was our ally in World War Two, and now Russia isn’t.
I don’t know, numb-nuts, did anything happen in the 80 years since WW2? you know, to like change the situation?
okay, Donny, I’m going to explain this to you as if you were five years old, because basically, you are. ready? here we go:
let’s say there’s this guy who’s a bit of a Nazi, but he also wants to go to space. let’s call him the Space Nazi. now suppose that this Space Nazi dude helped you become King of America, and the two of you became fast friends, and you had lots of cool adventures together. now suppose that your new best friend started acting crazy, like he was fucked to the gills on drugs or something, and you decided that maybe you shouldn’t spend so much time together. and then, he told the whole world about how you’re in the Epstein Files, and now you hate his guts.
friends, and then not-friends. do you see how that works, Donny?
maybe the Mad King would like to hire me to explain things to him, on a full-time basis. nah, he’d probably get tired of me saying ‘because you’re a fucking imbecile, that’s why’ all the time.
I’m sorry, but there’s nothing funny to be said about the fuckface goons who threw a United States Senator to the ground, handcuffed him and carted him away because had the temerity to ask ICE Barbie a question.
fuck everyone involved in perpetrating this travesty of justice, and fuck every Republican who is out there right now, trying to justify this fascist bullshit by explaining that Senator Padilla got what he deserved because blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
and fuck House Speaker Limpdick for calling for Padilla to be censured. for what, you grandstanding performative nonsense jackass?
shut the fuck up. we’re not in the mood.
cross your fingers, everyone. the weather report for Donny’s Big Boy Parade is ‘sucks and getting suckier.’
It looks as if it may rain on Saturday. There may even be a thunderstorm.
“Rain won’t stop us, the tanks don’t melt, but if there’s lightning then that puts the crowd at risk,” Steven Warren, chief spokesman for the army, told The Times. “If there’s lightning they will disperse the crowd and even cancel or postpone the parade.”
first of all, thank you to The Times of London for doing what our own worthless press won’t, which is to call Donny’s birthday parade exactly that, and not a “military parade.”
and secondly, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I’m doing my part. I’ve got my Jewish space laser all warmed up and ready to go.
here’s your hero of the day: the brave soul, who, when confronted by ICE goons announcing they had a warrant to do a workplace raid, replied “here’s my bag of fucks”
happy Friday the 13th, everyone. tomorrow is No Kings Day. remember to bring your bag of fucks.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
746 / 835
It's disgusting that the arrest/detainment of Sen Padilla has overshadowed what ICE Barbie said just before the incident. I watched the full video in horror as she actually said that the troops would remain until they had "liberated" the city from the "Socialist leaders". She's declaring that the Jan 6th coup is back in full swing!
“He’s out there where the buses don’t run.”
That is poetry, Jeff.