Donald Trump's legal hell just keeps getting worse. too fucking bad for you, jackass

it’s happening folks. this lawless fucker is going down

the stupidest fucking criminal moron in the entire goddamned universe is in full panic mode and melting the fuck down because the walls are closing in and his dipshit dime-store lawyers can’t do a thing to stop it.

ha fucking ha.

there’s been a lot of movement in the past few days. let’s have a look at what has Little Donny freaking out.

E. Jean Carroll

after losing his first defamation case, Donald just couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut, going on CNN the very next day and defaming E. Jean again, and then again and again over the next week on his crappy app.

you’ll never guess what happened next.

E. Jean Carroll has asked a judge to amend her initial defamation case against former President Donald Trump to seek additional punitive damages after he repeated his statements at a CNN town hall.

Donald Trump always makes things worse for Donald Trump. the guy just can’t help it.

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Georgia election interference

big news here:

Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis, who has been investigating efforts by Donald Trump and his allies to overturn the 2020 election in Georgia, announced remote workdays for her staff in August and asked judges to refrain from in-person hearings for parts of that month, according to a letter obtained by CNN.

holy shit. not a lot of facts here, but everything we can divine from reading between the lines points to an August indictment for Trump.

Fani Willis having her staff work from home? asking Judges to clear their schedule?

something big is happening. Willis wouldn’t be moving heaven and earth just to indict Joe Shlabotnik for parking tickets. and “something big” can only mean Donald Trump.

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Manhattan hush money trial

Trump gets smacked by a judge yet again.

A state judge in New York cautioned former President Donald Trump on Tuesday to obey a protective order dictating how he can talk about discovery materials during the upcoming criminal trial stemming from hush money payments paid to a former adult movie actress.

I love this part:

Trump appeared on screen looking tense and impatient, jaw rigid and fingers interlaced. He only spoke once, saying "I do," when asked if he had a copy of the protective order.

enjoy the world of shit you’ve created for yourself, numbnuts.

and we now have a date for the trial: March 2024.

(I know, I know, it sucks that the wheels of justice grind so slowly and we won’t have a trial until next year. but grind they do. silver lining: the trial will take place in the fullness of the presidential campaign, so all the low-information voters will be reminded what a criminal piece of shit Trump is.)

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Allen Weisselberg

Avin Bragg is putting new pressure on Allen Weisselberg to finally rat out his boss.

The Manhattan district attorney’s office is now considering a new round of criminal charges against Mr. Weisselberg, 75, and this time he could be charged with perjury, according to people with knowledge of the matter.

75-year-old Weisselberg has already done time in Rikers once. does he really want to go in a second time? would you?

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Jack Smith is turning it up to eleven

Jack Smith, the guy who indicts war criminals in the Hague, is not fucking around. his investigation just keeps on branching out.

this is the last face you see before the cell door slams shut

he’s now looking at Trump’s fraudulent fundraising.

Led by the special counsel Jack Smith, prosecutors are trying to determine whether Mr. Trump and his aides violated federal wire fraud statutes as they raised as much as $250 million through a political action committee by saying they needed the money to fight to reverse election fraud even though they had been told repeatedly that there was no evidence to back up those fraud claims.

he’s got written proof that Trump knew that he couldn’t magically declassify documents with his mind.

The National Archives has informed former President Donald Trump that it is set to hand over to special counsel Jack Smith 16 records that show Trump and his top advisers had knowledge of the correct declassification process while he was president, according to multiple sources.

and all signs point to Smith handing out indictments sooner than later.

Special counsel Jack Smith is wrapping up his criminal investigation into whether former President Trump mishandled classified documents, having interviewed virtually every employee at his Mar-a-Lago home.

former Trump lawyer Ty Cobb says Trump will do hard time:

A former Trump administration lawyer has predicted that Donald Trump "will go to jail" as the investigation into the former president's mishandling of classified documents continues. 

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how fucking freaked out is Trump right now? so much so that last night his lawyers sent a panicky letter demanding to meet with Merrick Garland.

The letter cited no specifics but asserted that Mr. Trump was being treated unfairly by the Justice Department through the investigations led by the special counsel, Jack Smith.

so unfair! how dare Donald Trump be investigated for his clumsy crimes.

put a sock in it, asshole.

the letter reads like it was written by a four-year-old child …

… which can only mean that Trump wrote it himself and forced his hapless layers to sign their names to it.

have fun trying to get paid, counsellors.

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holy shit, that’s a metric ton of legal hell, and all of it in just in the last week or so.

it’s happening folks. this lawless fucker is going down. I know that it’s not happening fast enough to please all of us, but it’s happening.

pass the popcorn.