Donald Trump’s brain has gone fuckity-bye

Kamala’s huge crowds have pushed him off the deep end

Little Donny Convict is going through some shit right now — he’s up to his eyeballs in what mental health professionals call narcissistic collapse.

“Narcissistic collapse occurs when a narcissist’s ability to uphold their grandiose, confident image is threatened. As a result, they often become enraged, resulting in impulsivity, intense lashing out, or harm to others.”

them’s a lot of five-dollar words, so let’s put it in layman’s terms: the raccoons that live inside Donny’s head have completely chewed through the wires.

Donny’s been the Mayor of Crazytown for a long time now, but recent events — specifically, the meteoric ascension of Kamala Harris and the huge crowds that greet her and Tim Walz everywhere they go — have pushed him over the edge.

here’s the straw that broke Donny’s brain:

this is the throng that greeted Kamala and Tim as they arrived for a rally in Michigan last week.

now, it takes a special kind of delusional to take in that photo of Kamala’s adoring crowds and conclude yeah, none of that is real — but Donny just happens to be that special kind of delusional.

Has anyone noticed that Kamala CHEATED at the airport? There was nobody at the plane, and she “A.I.’d” it, and showed a massive “crowd” of so-called followers, BUT THEY DIDN’T EXIST! She was turned in by a maintenance worker at the airport when he noticed the fake crowd picture, but there was nobody there, later confirmed by the reflection of the mirror like finish on the Vice Presidential Plane. She’s a CHEATER. She had NOBODY waiting, and the “crowd” looked like 10,000 people! Same thing is happening with her fake “crowds” at her speeches. This is the way the Democrats win Elections, by CHEATING - And they’re even worse at the Ballot Box. She should be disqualified because the creation of a fake image is ELECTION INTERFERENCE. Anyone who does that will cheat at ANYTHING!

Jesus H. Christ on a catamaran — where do you even begin with this industrial-strength fucknuttery? let’s attempt to unpack all the batshit.

• the whole photo is a fake, nobody showed up, and it was a “maintenance worker at the airport” who blew the whistle on the whole ruse. ok, so where is this maintenance worker — are they in the room with us right now? because if this person actually existed, they’d be a MAGA folk hero — and Fox and Newsmax would be running interviews with them 24/7.

• the crowd — which is kept something like fifty-plus yards away from the plane by a security cordon — isn’t reflected in the plane. that’s some ace detective work there, Sherlock. if this whole running for president thing doesn’t work out for Donny, I’m developing a new TV show for him, to be called Law & Order: Donald Trump Is The Real Victim Unit. every week, Donny proves that nothing is ever his own fault.

• “creation of a fake image is ELECTION INTERFERENCE.” this one’s my favorite line, because it’s pure Trumpian projection. election interference, you’ll recall, is the crime for which Donny’s been indicted in both Georgia and DC — so now, everywhere he goes, and everything that happens to him, is ELECTION INTERFERENCE — because, as always with Donny, every accusation is a confession.

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let’s have some thoughts and prayers for The New York Times, because they have to report on this lunacy and find some way to dance around the fact that Donny Convict is crazier than a shithouse rat.

here’s my favorite line from the Times’ reporting.

A spokesman for the Trump campaign did not respond to a request for comment.

you’re goddamn right that the Trump campaign spokesman had no comment — because what the fuck are they going to say?

imagine you’re a Trump toady. are you seriously going to return the Times’ call and go oh yeah, the boss is fuckin’ nuts. he’s out there where the buses don’t run.

you absolutely do not say that — not unless you want a Heinz bottle chucked at your head. so no, what you do is stare at the wall and hope the Times doesn’t call a second time.

in fact — screw the Times, what do you say to Donny?

again, imagine you’re a Trump campaign insider — and like all of Donny’s staffers, you’re big and strong, with massive biceps that glisten in the afternoon sun. Donny calls you over. the boss is talking to me! he wants me! your eyes immediately well up with tears of gratitude.

he shows you his latest Truth Social post. look at this. it’s fake, her crowds are fake. it’s all AI.

what do you say to Dear Leader? do you say holy fuck, bro, we need to get you some professional help? no, you do not. you stand there — and by now, your cheeks are wet as the tears of gratitude roll down your face — and you say sir! sir! I can’t believe you’ve figured it out! how do you do it, sir? no one has ever figured out the mystery of Kamabla’s crowd size, but sir! sir! you’re the stabilest genius ever!

by the way, Donny didn’t come up with this cockamamie theory all by himself — oh no siree bob, he had some expert help — part-time conspiracy loon and full-time convicted felon Dinesh D’Ipshit has done his own research.

Dinesh, don’t make me come over there and explain how telephoto foreshortening works.

A telephoto lens makes near and distant objects seem closer together and more similar in size than they appear in real life. This effect is known as “foreshortening” or “perspective compression.” A telephoto lens makes distant objects appear much larger.

the Harris-Walz campaign is so good at pushing Donny’s buttons. check this out: they created an account on Truth Social, Donny’s failing twitter knock-off, and they’re using it to mock him mercilessly.

let’s gif the shit out of that video.

keep this on your phone, so that when your drunk MAGA uncle buttonholes you at the next family cookout, you can play it for him and ruin his day.

by the way, Donny wasn’t finished crazyposting to Truth Social. he also crapped out this beauty.

“I’m doing really well in the Presidential Race, leading in almost all of the REAL Polls, and this despite the Democrats unprecedentedly changing their Primary Winning Candidate, Sleepy Joe Biden, midstream, with a Candidate, Kamala Harris, who failed to get even a single Primary Vote, and was the first out of 15 Democrat Candidates to quit the race. I did great in 2016, and WON, did much better in 2020, getting many millions more votes than ‘16, but this, 2024, is thus far my best Campaign, the most enthusiasm and spirit, etc. My team is doing a great job despite the constant 8 year obstacle of dealing with the Fake News and low self esteem leakers. We are going to WIN BIG and take our Country back from the Radical Left Losers, Fascists, and Communists. We will, very quickly, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

whatever you say, Commander Crazypants.

folks, Donny Convict’s brain has gone fuckity-bye.

if this were a member of your own family who was publicly melting down, right now you’d be having some very difficult conversations. you’d be researching nearby assisted living facilities — preferably ones with memory care specialists on staff.

so where is Donny’s family?

don’t expect Individual-1 Junior to help. he’s so fucking high all the time that he thinks daddy’s doing just aces. here’s a selfie Junior posted at last week’s Montana rally.

holy shit. make that two Trumps who are in need of professional intervention.

Melania? she can’t be bothered. she just wants this to be all over, and prays that there will be something left to inherit.

Eric? Ivanka? anyone?

crickets.

sorry, Donny, no help for you — not while there’s still money to be grifted from the cultists.

Trump family values in action.