Donald Trump just can't stop fucking that chicken

confessed classified document thief confesses to classified document thievery

the stupidest fucking moron in the entire universe has the right to remain silent. too bad he doesn’t have the ability.

last night, the twice-indicted twice-impeached popular-vote-losing insurrection-leading serial-sexual-predating casino-bankrupting hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming classified-war-plan-thieving weather-map-defacing tax-cheating charity-defrauding money-laundering fluorescent tangerine jackass went on Fox News, pulled out a shit-shovel, and dug himself deeper.

the compulsive blabbermouth sat there for forty-nine minutes and twenty-nine seconds and basically confessed to every crime he’s been charged with.

any good lawyer would have been telling Trump to shut the fuck up. “no comment” should have been the only thing out of Donny’s mouth from the moment he left that Miami courtroom following his indictment.

but Donald Trump doesn’t have any good lawyers. Donald Trump has traffic court lawyers. Donald Trump has parking garage lawyers. and the dumbfuck won’t even listen to them.

no, Donald Trump gets his legal advice from Tom “I Am Definitely Not A Lawyer, Why Are You Even Listening To Me” Fitton, the crackpot who told Trump that it was definitely cool and not at all a federal crime to steal classified war plans and stash them in a golf motel shitter.

and so there was no sensible person left to tell Trump not to go on Fox News and confess to federal crimes.

it was every bit the shitshow that you could have predicted it would be.

On the tape, Trump makes it clear that he understands he shouldn't be showing the Iran war planning document and that it was secret.

"When I said that I couldn't declassify it now, that's because I wasn't president I never made any bones about that," said Trump. 'When I'm not president, I can't declassify."

The admission is like a problem for Trump's legal team because it clarifies that he understands the law.

(in the clip above, Trump admits he can’t declassify documents. the full hour-long broadcast is here.)

even Trump’s staunchest apologists were left scratching their heads.

here’s the thing:

Donald Trump has spent his entire life bragging about criming and daring people to do something about it, using every legal tactic available to escape accountability: bullying, delaying, counter-suing, well-placed political donations, yadda yadda.

it’s always worked in the past, against the private citizens who try to sue him, because our court system has always been tipped in favor of the obscenely wealthy.

but all of that is over now.

none of that shit is going to work against Jack Smith, the guy who convicts war criminals in The Hague.

you can’t out-lawyer the government. you can’t bully. and Florida has a “rocket docket” law that will prevent Trump’s usual delay tactics.

the trial date has been set: August 14th. that gives Donny almost two months in which to keep running his stupid mouth.

stock up on popcorn, it’s going to be a chicken-fucking summer.