Donald Trump is weak and stupid and also has six fingers on his freakishly tiny hands

here’s why New Hampshire was bad news for Trump

yes, Little Donny Diaperstain got more votes than Nikki Haley in New Hampshire last night but he also fucking lost, because he’s a loser, and losing is what losers do.

Donald Trump let a girl — a brown girl, at that — take almost half his votes, and that could be a sign of a coming disaster for him this November.

of course, that’s not how Trump is spinning it.

“you know, we won New Hampshire three times now, three. we won it every time. we win the primary, we win the generals.”

yeah, no. fact check: the email lady beat Trump in New Hampshire in 2016 and Biden whipped his ass there in 2020.

but that’s Donny’s whole thing: to bluff and bluster and try to convince us he’s something he’s not.

Trump is the chickenshit coward draft dodger who pretends to have the courage to disarm a school shooter.

he’s the illiterate C-minus student who pretends to be a genius.

he’s the half-a-billion-inheriting nepo baby who pretends to be self-made.

he’s the failed casino operator and game show host who pretends to be a success.

he’s the grifter and fraud who pretends to be honest.

he’s the angry rapist who pretends to be irresistible to women.

he’s the soft, pampered weakling who pretends to be the apex of masculinity.

he’s the traitor who pretends to be a patriot.

he’s the aging dotard, lost in an ever-thickening haze of dementia, who pretends that pointing at a drawing of a camel is proof of his mental acuity.

and he’s the two-time popular vote loser who pretends to be a winner.

Donald Trump has one thing going for him right now: his adoring horde of deranged MAGA cultists. they will never abandon him — ever — but MAGA alone is not enough to win a national election. we’ve already seen proof of this in 2020.

Donny is not growing his base. in fact there are signs that he’s shedding support. an increasing number of Republican voters want no part of Day One Dickstick’s bullshit.

“Donald Trump really disgraced himself.”

let's look at some numbers.

Nearly half (47%) of GOP primary voters said that Trump would not be fit to serve as president if he was convicted of a crime. Fully 84% of Haley voters said a criminal conviction would be disqualifying. And a Fox News (!) analysis of 1,800 GOP primary voters found that more than a third of them would never (ever) vote for Trump.

Exit polls also reminded us that MAGA is a minority within a minority.

Nearly two-thirds (64%) of New Hampshire Republican primary voters said they do not consider themselves part of Trump's “MAGA” movement, according to early NBC News exit poll results.

Trump is never going to lose that baseline 36% of crazies who will vote for him no matter what. Trump’s undying MAGA support pretty much guarantees that he’ll be the Republican candidate for president — sorry, Nikki — but 36% won’t win him the general.

and of course, there’s Donald’s increasingly-befuddled incoherence, which is getting harder for the press to ignore.

“… which is incapable of solven … even the sollest … smallest problem. the simplest of problems we can no longer solve. we can’t do anything. we are an institute in a powerful death penalty. we will put this on. we have to.”

what the fuck even is this gibberish? the family of feral raccoons that live inside Trump’s head have almost completely chewed through the wires — what’s Donny going to be like by the time November rolls around?

here’s what strong and popular looks like: Joe Biden won New Hampshire easily and his name wasn’t even on the ballot.

in your face, Donny.

now, don’t get complacent. it’s going to be one fuck of an ugly campaign season — and like the man said, it isn’t over til it’s over.

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meanwhile, did you know that Donald Trump has six fingers on each of his freakishly undersized hands? here’s an AI-generated pic that Donny posted to his crappy app.

wait, what? let’s count those fingers. onetwothreefourfiveSIX.

beautiful.

AI’s inability to render hands correctly is a well-documented thing — but why did Trump have to resort to a ridiculous computer-generated image? because no actual photo exists of darling-of-the-evangelicals Donald Trump praying.

as opposed to someone else we could name.